The Last Days of Rabbit Hayes (30 page)

JULIET HAD FIXED
Rabbit’s pillows so that she was sitting up straight when Grace, Lenny and their four boys piled into the room. Davey and Mabel decided it was best to leave to give them some room. Juliet was desperate to stay, so Grace agreed to drop her home later. Rabbit called to Mabel on her way out, ‘Don’t forget to bring photos of the kids tomorrow.’

‘I won’t.’

‘And tomorrow I’m going out to that garden,’ she told Davey.

‘If it stops raining.’

‘The sun will shine tomorrow,’ Rabbit said.

‘You’ve got ESP now?’

‘Or I just watched a weather report.’ She pointed to the TV set.

Everyone laughed, probably more than the comment deserved, but it was good to see her so on top of things. ‘What’s ESP?’ Jeffrey whispered to his mother, but she just smiled. It didn’t matter and Rabbit had the floor.

‘Thanks for today,’ she said. It had been a good one, even though she had slept through a lot of it. When she’d been awake, she’d watched Mabel and Davey teach Juliet to play poker. She was cleaning Davey out after only a few games. Mabel was impressed and Juliet was charmed. She remembered Mabel from their time in Las Vegas but only vaguely. Mabel, Davey and Rabbit regaled Juliet with their memories of her as a child and the adventures they’d shared.

‘You danced a jig on stage in Caesars Palace,’ Rabbit said.

‘During Casey’s sound check and to one of her songs,’ Mabel added.

‘Which song?’ Juliet asked.

‘“Keep On Keeping”,’ Davey told her.

‘I love that one,’ Juliet said.

‘Me too,’ Rabbit murmured.

‘I remember the chips in the place with the puppets. They were amazing,’ Juliet added.

Mabel despaired. ‘That’s what you remember? We took you to meet the real Barney and you remember fries?’

Rabbit was reminded of better times and how good their lives had been.

When Davey and Mabel were gone, Juliet talked excitedly about beating Davey at poker, with her proud mother looking on. Ryan challenged her to a game but Mabel had taken the cards. ‘Another time,’ Grace said.

Rabbit asked Jeffrey about his diet.

‘It’s OK.’

‘It’ll get easier.’

‘Yeah.’

She remembered that Stephen had exams coming up and enquired as to how he was getting on.

‘Not sure.’

‘Hang in there.’

She asked Bernard how his football team were doing.

‘Shite.’

‘Don’t curse,’ Grace said.

‘Sorry. We keep losing.’

‘Why?’

‘Because we’re a sh—crap team.’

‘Sorry,’ Rabbit said.

He shrugged. ‘I’ve started playing hurley.’

‘How’s that going?’

‘Crap.’

‘What about you, Ryan?’

‘Dee O’Reilly let me drop the hand the other night.’

Lenny gulped. Grace looked from her husband to her son, her mouth literally hanging open. Juliet was clearly stunned. Rabbit burst out laughing and when she laughed the entire room laughed so much that Linda, the nurse who’d replaced Jacinta on night duty, popped her head in to see what was happening.

‘I’m sorry, Linda,’ Rabbit said.

The nurse beamed at her. ‘Never be sorry for laughing. We can always do with a bit of that around here.’ Then she was gone.

Every time Rabbit looked at Ryan he winked at her and she chuckled.

Jeffrey was a little lost. First he didn’t know what ESP was, then he was confused about how Ryan could have dropped his hand and why it was so funny.

All that laughter had exhausted Rabbit.

Grace told Lenny, Juliet and the boys to wait for her in the car. The boys lined up to say goodbye to their aunt, each one painfully aware it might be the last time. They tried their best not to cry, but it was hard, and they were experiencing varying degrees of success. When each boy leaned in for a kiss, Rabbit held her head high and made sure she was smiling. Juliet insisted on fixing her pillows so that she was comfortable. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Ma.’

‘What about school?’ Rabbit asked.

‘It can wait,’ Juliet said, and Rabbit nodded.

Juliet left Grace alone with her sister.

‘I can stay over, if you like?’ Grace said.

‘Nah, you go home.’

‘Night night, Rabbit.’

‘Night night, Grace.’

Grace picked up her handbag, and Rabbit asked one last question. ‘Where’s me ma?’

‘I thought Davey told you,’ Grace said.

‘He said she was tired.’

‘Exhausted.’

‘Look at me.’

Grace met her eye.

‘Where is she?’

Grace put her bag down. ‘She’s fine. She’s in the hospital for observation. She’ll be out in the morning.’

‘What happened?’

‘A very, very mild heart attack.’

‘Jesus Christ,’ Rabbit said.

‘It’s fine, Rabbit.’

‘Promise?’

‘I promise.’

‘She’s out tomorrow?’

‘First thing, if she has her way.’ Grace picked up her bag again. She went to her sister and kissed her cheek. ‘It’s Ma.’ She didn’t need to say any more: it was understood that Ma was invincible.

‘Goodnight, Rabbit.’

Grace left, but Rabbit wasn’t alone for long: Linda appeared with her meds. ‘Still awake?’ she said.

‘Wide awake.’

‘How about breakthrough pain?’

‘I feel fine.’

‘Fine is good.’

‘Fine is better than good.’

Rabbit watched Linda fill a syringe. ‘Not yet. A few more minutes.’ Its contents would send her to sleep. She liked being back in time with Johnny but it was also nice to enjoy the present while she could. Linda put the hypodermic into a plastic bowl and sat down.

‘Michelle is the trouper, Jacinta is the singer. What’s your story?’

‘You heard about Michelle’s boyfriend, then?’

‘Really harsh.’

‘I met him at a few Christmas parties. She’ll do a lot better, but still living in the same house is a nightmare.’

‘I’d change the locks,’ Rabbit said.

‘Me too,’ Linda agreed. She seemed almost relieved that someone else felt the same. ‘Why doesn’t she do it?’

‘She plays by the rules.’

‘What about you, Rabbit? Do you play by the rules?’

‘Sometimes,’ Rabbit said, and smiled, ‘and others, you’ve just got to make them up as you go along.’

‘Amen,’ Linda said.

She was a medium-built woman with a dyed red bob and kept herself well, but Rabbit guessed she was in her early fifties. ‘Do you have kids, Linda?’

‘Two girls. One is an accountant and the other is training to become a vet.’

‘Do they have boyfriends?’

‘If they do, I don’t know about them. What about you? Any of those laughing hyenas yours?’

‘The girl. She’s twelve. Her name is Juliet.’

‘Beautiful name for a beautiful girl,’ Linda said.

‘She’s perfect,’ Rabbit said. ‘God, I hope this doesn’t destroy her.’

‘It won’t.’

‘You don’t know that. She’s already had a lot to deal with. What if my death is the thing that turns a beautiful, charming, intelligent girl into a wreck? What if it makes her sad, bitter and angry? What if it sends her on a path to a lifetime of misery?’

‘It looks to me like she has good people around her,’ Linda said.

‘She does, but she won’t have me.’

‘You trust her to get through it and you trust the people around her to help her through it.’

‘I have no choice, do I?’ Rabbit said.

‘No. All you can do is the best you can for her now.’

‘You’re right,’ Rabbit said. ‘Thank you, Linda. I’m ready for my injection now.’

Linda injected Rabbit and said goodnight. Rabbit waited for the liquid to surge through her veins to her head and eyes. She surrendered quickly to the darkness because she knew her old friend would be waiting.

12 March 2010

Cancer 0 – Rabbit 1

I win! I win! I win! The cancer is gone. I received the all-clear this morning and I’ve been floating on air since. Juliet keeps jumping up and down and singing ‘YMCA’ for some reason. My mother cried, then blamed it on the menopause. (The woman is seventy.) My dad is so happy he whistled all the way home in the car, and when a man in a black Honda beeped him on the roundabout, he happily gave him the fingers. If you knew my father, you’d appreciate how out of character that is. He giggled as he did it. Life is good. Grace keeps squeezing me and Lenny keeps squeezing her. Marjorie is away on business but she hasn’t been off the phone.

We went out for a celebratory family lunch. My nephews lined up so sweetly to congratulate me, except Jeffrey, who was busy at the buffet counter. Ryan told me it was great news and not to worry: his mate’s ma had had cancer and it only took her a year to get her looks back, so that was lovely. That kid always makes me smile. I love all my nephews, of course, but watch this space for Ryan . . .

I can’t wait to talk to Davey tonight. I can’t wait to tell him that finally it’s over.

I have to go – I’m putting on my best wig, dress and ballet pumps (note to self: buy some decent shoes) and I’m going to the pub with my mother and my sister to have a proper drink. Roll on the rest of my life.

Rabbit Hayes. Over and out. X

DAVEY WOKE UP
to the radio playing downstairs. He showered and dressed, and by the time he hit the kitchen, Juliet had made scrambled eggs and toast. She ordered him to sit down. He did as he was told while arguing that he should be the one taking care of her.

‘Don’t be silly. I make breakfast for me ma all the time,’ she said, pouring him orange juice.

He sampled the eggs. ‘Delicious.’ He meant it.

‘The secret is cooking them in a little butter.’

‘Good to know.’

She sat down opposite him and sipped her tea.

‘Are you not eating?’ he asked.

‘Never hungry in the mornings. I can sew too,’ she said. ‘I mean, I’m not Dolce or Gabbana, but I’ve made a blouse and three skirts.’

‘Good for you.’

She smiled. ‘I can take care of you, Davey.’

He stopped eating and put down his fork. ‘Oh, Juliet, you don’t have to take care of me. I mean, I know I look like a dope and maybe I sometimes act like one, but I’m the adult, the one who looks after you, OK?’

‘I just want you to know that I’ll play my part.’

‘Just being a kid is playing your part and, Juliet, we have to talk to your ma. What she says goes, and I don’t know if she’ll want this for you.’

Juliet became quiet and reflective. Davey tried to engage her in other subjects, like cinema and music, and he even talked about clothes, but she didn’t bite. To someone who was unaware of what she was going through, it might have seemed that she was sulking, but Davey knew better: she was sad, confused, guilty and terrified. She didn’t have to talk if she didn’t want to. She excused herself and went to her room. He took the opportunity to ring Grace and ask after his mother. Juliet had not been made privy to Molly’s scare: she already had enough to worry about. Grace was on her way to pick her mother up from the hospital. She would take her home for a shower, then drop both parents to the hospice.

‘When are you leaving?’ Grace asked Davey.

‘Within the hour,’ Davey said.

‘OK. Ma isn’t supposed to drive for a few days and Da’s eyes have been too affected by the diabetes, so if I drop them, will you take them home?’

‘No problem.’

‘Great.’

He was about to hang up, but she added, ‘And, Davey, don’t get comfortable with having Juliet.’

She hung up before he could respond.

Davey answered the door to a boy. ‘You’re the uncle,’ the boy said.

‘You’re Kyle, the weird kid from across the road,’ Davey remembered.

‘I’m not weird.’

‘When you were four I caught you eating a worm.’

‘No, you didn’t.’

‘You said yum-yum.’

‘No way.’

‘Juliet, you have a visitor,’ Davey shouted up the stairs. His phone rang so he answered it and walked away, leaving Kyle standing in the doorway. He didn’t recognize the number but when he answered he immediately knew the voice. It was his young girlfriend, Georgia.

‘Wanna hook up?’

‘No.’

‘You away?’

‘Yeah.’

‘How long?’

‘Not sure.’

‘Damn, I’m bored.’

‘Oh, well.’

‘Wanna talk dirty?’

‘Not really.’

‘What is up with you?’

‘My sister is dying.’

He heard a gulp followed by dead air. She stuttered a little. ‘Did you know her well?’

‘She’s my sister,’ he said slowly, as though he was talking to a two-year-old.

‘Yeah, sorry, brain fart.’

Another silence followed.

‘I should go,’ she said.

‘Yeah, you should.’ Davey hung up. He knew that that had been the last time he would speak to Georgia and it didn’t cost him a second thought.
Grace is right. I don’t know what a real relationship is.

He was sitting at the dining table, halfway through his coffee and the newspaper, when Juliet appeared with Kyle.

‘There’s coffee in the pot. Wait – are you two old enough for coffee?’

‘Is he retarded?’ Kyle asked Juliet, who giggled a little.

‘I’m not the one who ate worms,’ Davey said, without looking up from his newspaper.

‘Me neither.’ Kyle pulled out the counter chair and sat up on it.

‘Clearly you don’t remember, but I do, yum-yum,’ Davey said.

‘He’s just joking. He told me once that I had to have a sixth finger removed from each hand when I was a baby,’ Juliet said.

‘I remember – it was around the time you thought you were an alien,’ Kyle said.

Davey chuckled. ‘She asked us all to call her Juliet Tron.’

‘I have a really good memory. I’d remember eating worms,’ Kyle said.

‘And you used to run around the garden with your Willy Wonka hanging out,’ Davey said.

‘No, I didn’t!’

‘I remember that!’ Juliet said, and Davey pointed at Kyle.

‘Nice work, by the way.’

Kyle huffed. ‘And he calls me weird.’

Juliet was amused, and even though Kyle wasn’t entirely happy with the content of the conversation, she’d seemed to forget about all the bad stuff.
He knows what I’m doing and he’s playing along
, Davey thought. Kyle had always been a good kid.