"Why?"
"You've never met her, right?"
"Right. Why?"
"I can tell by the way you're talking," she said, "that
you're stuck on her."
"It's a professional hazard," I said, trying to wriggle
out of it. "I get stuck on everybody I hunt for. They
stop being pictures and words and become people,
that's all." I nipped at my drink to ease the dry bite of
the hashish. "Sometimes the people I think I'm hunting
for don't turn out to be the people I find," I babbled.
"Or something like that."
"Cut the bullshit, man," she said. "You're stuck on
her. I never met a man who wasn't. Goddammit, she
could do a lot of things well, but nothing better than
that."
"What?"
"Getting men stuck on her-she did that best of all.
They used to come for miles around just to sit at the
queen's feet, just to touch her hem-oh, hell, that's not
fair."
"What?"
"She just never found anybody as good as she was,"
Peggy said, then picked up a wine glass in her stubby
fingers. "She was the most beautiful woman in the
world and she was only a girl-just like me, man, just a
94
little high school kid from Sonoma, but she was so
beautiful, a beautiful, lonely lady, lonely because
nobody was good enough for her."
"Stuck up?"
"Not a bit of it, man," she said, "or . why would she
like me? Listen, man, I spent my school years watching
pretty girls try to be my friends so they'd look good
standing next to me, but Betty Sue, she didn't care
about that, she was my friend, and better-looking than
the whole bunch of them, and smarter and nicer-the
whole bit."
"You've thought about her some?"
"Not a day goes by, man, that I don't."
"I see."
"You don't see shit, man," she said quietly. "I loved
her, you see, loved her. I didn't know what it was all
about until I had survived two nightmare marriages,
but since then I've found out, and I loved her. When
she ran away, I cried my eyes out, man, cried myself
blind. Before that, I thought that was a cliche, but
when she left, I wept until I couldn't see. "
"I'm sorry," I said.
"I hated her too," she confessed, "but that was my
fault. I lined up with the smitten swains but didn't know
what I was doing for years. And hell, if sh:! was here
tonight, you and I could stand around with our tongues
out." Then she tried to laugh as she socked me on the
arm. "Lined up to meet the lady."
"I never stand in line for anything," I said lightly.
"This is a lady you'd kill for a chance just to stand in
line," she said with a sad smile. "Or something like
that. That didn't make sense, did it?"
"I know what you meant," I said. "Thanks for your
trouble."
"No trouble, man," she said. "I'm like this all the
time now. And when I finish law school, I'm gonna
make the world pay for it."
95
Since it was the first happy thing I had heard her say,
I wished her well and thanked her again. Then I
wandered toward the far side of the yard to find a bush
to water.
Betty Sue Flowers. I had talked to three people but
hadn't found out anything worth knowing, except that
everybody who knew her was stuck on her still. Maybe
I was too. Maybe I didn't have any choice in the matter
any more. But I had to make up my mind. Her daddy
lived down in Bakersfield, Randall Jackson might still be
in Denver, and the remains of the commune were in
southern Oregon-long trips in three different directions, and none of them on the way to Montana.
Rosie's eighty-seven dollars was getting a workout, and
I was getting nowhere, but that's always where I knew
this one was heading anyway. So I shook it off and
headed back to the party.
When I walked through the kitchen, Traheame was
leaning against the wall beside the lady with the chains,
offering her the slug they had removed from his hip,
saying, "You charming little devil, you, I'd like you to
have this as a good-luck piece." He tickled her under
the chin.
"Why don't you lick her on the arm," I said, but they
both ignored me. She giggled and accepted the goodluck gift, and Trahearne lifted her hand to his lips. As I tried to walk past, he grabbed my neck with a meaty
hand and hugged me toward him, his huge face rubbery
and flushed with the whiskey, hanging over mine like
something butchered in a nightmare.
"And what did the little dyke have to say?" he asked.
"Nothing I didn't already know," I said. "Let's get
the hell out of here."
"The party's just getting interesting." He leered at
the chained lady, sloshed whiskey into my glass, and
patted my shoulder. "Hang around," he said, gathering
96
the lady with silken clinks beneath his arm and leading
her into the twinkling night.
"Have a good time," I said. "Have a hell of a good
time."
"You've got to learn to relax," he advised over his
shoulder, "learn to have a good time. "
Ah, yes, the good times. The parties that last
forever, the whiskey bottle that never runs dry, the
recreational drugs. Strange ladies draped in denim and
satin, in silver and hammered gold. Ah, yes, the easy
life, unencumbered by families or steady jobs or the
knave responsibility. Freedom's just another word for
nothin' else to lose, right, and the nightlife is the right
life for me, just keep on keepin' on. Having fun is the
fifth drink in a new town or washing away a hangover
with a hot shower and a cold, cold beer in a motel room
or the salty road-tired taste of a' hitch-hiking hippiechick's breast in the downy funk of her sleeping bag.
Right on. The good times are hard times but they're
the only times I know.
The next morning, I woke up with a faceful of
sunshine in the back seat of Trahearne's convertible,
sodden with dew, dogspit, and recriminations of high
degree. When I sat up to look around, it looked like
California, then a passing paperboy told me it was
Cupertino, but that didn't tell me anything at all. Two
houses up the street, a curly-headed guy was standing
in his driveway, sucking on the remains of a half-pint as
he tried to dodge a barrage of kitchf'&l utensils that flew
from an unseen hand inside the house and glittering out
into the morning light. He ducked a large spoon and a
heavy ladle, chortled and dancing, but a potato masher
caught him on the lower lip with a sudden burst of
bright blood. As he started weeping, a blond woman in
a housecoat rushed outside and led him back inside.
I shook my head, shared the last cold beer with
Fireball, then let him out to water somebody's lawn. As
soon as he was finished, I leaned on Trahearne's horn
until he stumbled out of the house across the street, his
shirt in one hand, his shoes in the other, his tail tucked
between his legs.
"Damned crazy woman," he complained as I drove
away. "How was I supposed to know she wanted to
wear all that goddamned junk jewelry to bed. Jesus
Christ, it was like fucking in a car wreck. "
"Beats sleeping in the car," I muttered.
"Wasn't my fault," he grunted as he tied his shoe.
"You refused to come in the house."
"At least you could have put the top up."
"I did," he said. "Twice. But you insisted on having
it down, and you gave the world a forty-minute speech
about sleeping under the stars to clean out your system,
so I left you alone."
"Good idea," I said.
"You're a surly drunk, Sughrue."
"Surly sober, too."
"What happened to the woman?" he asked.
"What woman?"
"The one with you."
"Whatever happened," I said, "I'm sure I enjoyed it.
What did she look like?"
"Soft and furry," he said. "She's not dead in the
trunk or something awful, is she?"
"I don't have any idea,'' I said, "and I'm not about to
look before I have a drink."
"Let's not even act like we're going to have breakfast," he said, grinning. "Let's just find the nearest bar."
"Then it's off to Bakersfield," I said.
"Oh my god," Trahearne groaned.
98
8 ••••
BETWEEN DRUNKS AND HANGOVERS, IT TOOK TRAHEARNE
and me two days to drive to Bakersfield, but as we
drove from the motel to Betty Sue's father's place, we
were both sober and not in any great pain, which was
good because his place looked like the sort of dance
hall and bar where a man wanted his wits about him
when he went inside. The marquee promised dancing
nightly to the strains of Jimmy Joe Flowers and the
Pickers, and the bar, a cinder-block square building in
the middle of a parking lot, promised all the trouble
you could handle. Since it was early, though, we went
inside with the lunch rush-two welders and a traveling
salesman who wanted beers and Slim Jims. The daytime bartender told me that Mr. Flowers usually came in about poe-thirty, and sure enough at two o'clock
sharp, his ostrich-skin boots thumped through the
doorway. Ostrich skin makes a lovely boot leather-if
you like leather that looks as if the animal had died of
terminal acne-and it went well with Flowers' wine
Western-cut double-knit leisure suit, just as his suit
matched the woman who followed him.
Flowers was all happy handshakes and smiles until I
showed him my license and told him what I wanted.
Then he frowned and led his secretary into the closet he
called his office. When I didn't follow on his heels, he
99
stepped back out and waved me hastily inside. He said
he had something he wanted to say to me. At some
length.
"Ungrateful little bitch," he said, then slapped his
flimsy desk. "I never thought a child of mine would
turn out to be a hippie, you know, never thought it for a
minute. I mean, what the hell, I like to see kids have a
good time, but they got to work for it, and you know, I
lost a boy over there in Vietnam, and might have lost
the other one, but he had a bum knee, and here I tum
around and find this damned hippie for a daughter. I
mean, you know, first I hear she's run off without
finishing school-and you know how important an
education is nowadays-and here I am her own loving
father, you know, and I don't hear a single solitary
word from her for four, maybe five years, then one
night she calls, collect, mind you, and wakes me out of
a dead sleep. " He paused to look up at his secretary.
"You remember that, don't you, honey?" he said to
her, and she reached down to pat his freshly shaven and
powdered cheek as if the effort of waking up had been
just more than he could bear.
"And you know what she wants?" he asked me
suddenly. He didn't give me time to answer. "Money,
by god, she wants money so she can leave that damned
dirty commune where's she been shacked up like some
animal. " He paused to shake his head. "And you know
what I told her?" I didn't make a move. "I told her that
I hadn't sent her a single thin dime to get herself into