“What,
Betty?” He looked at her with a frown and she nodded at Lucky and me. “They
don’t care if he married a white lady.” He laughed and Lucky and I joined him.
Watching
Sidney and his wife
,
teasing each other and
helping each other gave me hope for my future with Lucky, and gave me a glimpse
into what aging love looked like. I’d be over the moon to be so happy with
Lucky when we were senior citizens. To have kids and grandkids and a home full
of love. I could rewrite my history. I could be the man that went from no love
to an abundance of love. Sidney and Betty gave me hope for the future.
“Zane,
are you okay?” Lucky walked over to me and touched my shoulder lightly. I
looked up at the concern in her eyes and nodded.
“Sorry,
I must have spaced out.”
“It’s
okay.” She took hold of my hand. “I’m not mad about what you did. It’s even
kind of romantic and sweet in a way.” She smiled. “Don’t worry.”
“Thanks,”
I beamed at her, letting her think that that was the reason I had spaced out.
“You’re the best.”
“As
long as you tell her that every day, you’ll be okay,” Sidney shouted from the
corner. “Now, let’s go and look at those papers.”
“Yes,
sir.” I jumped up, and Lucky and I followed him out of the room.
“Just
don’t keep anything else from me, okay?” she whispered and I squeezed her hand.
“Of
course I won’t.” I waited outside the room for a moment and took my phone out
of my pocket. I looked up to make sure Lucky wasn’t looking and replied to the
text I had gotten on the drive over to the Johnsons’
.
Hey Angelique, I can’t
call you back right now but I’ve been missing you as well. I’d love to go to
dinner. Are you free tomorrow night? xoxo
.
I
pressed ‘send’ and walked into the room quickly. I loved Lucky, but I couldn’t
let Angelique go, especially not at this moment.
Lucky
There
was a warmth in my heart that I couldn’t shake. I couldn’t quite believe that
Zane had decided to take up this project because of me. I felt my mouth aching
to grin like an idiot, but I kept the huge smile off of my face because I
didn’t want Sidney and Betty to think I was some sort of weirdo.
He really did like me
. All thoughts that
this was just about sex left my mind. He had done everything he could to get me
to a party, and then when that didn’t work, he had gone forward with a
documentary that he had no real interest in, just because of me. All because he
had wanted to be with me and get to know me. He had been as attracted to me as
I was to him. I felt giddy inside and I looked up to see Mr. Johnson staring at
me with a knowing look. I looked down, slightly embarrassed, but I just
couldn’t wipe the wide smile off of my face.
As
Zane walked into the room, I stared at him with a new perspective. All those
months, I had just thought he was a handsome, cocky, and sometimes nice and
interesting guy who came into the diner. I had grown to like him, but had
always berated myself for falling for a guy I just
knew
had to be a player or wouldn’t be interested in me. And while
I had reasons for those concerns, the truth of the matter was that Zane, like
most of us, was just a really complicated human being. And he had been through
a lot of shit. A lot of shit that had made him the man he was today: loving,
shy, uneasy, jealous, untrusting. Sometimes I wondered if I had done the right
thing coming here. Sometimes I felt like love was the daydream that you wanted
to exist but never really lived up to the glory. But I realized that once you
get a taste, a
good sample of the real deal, you
can’t let it go. The biggest issue I’d been worrying about was that Zane liked
me, but had acted on it spur-of-the-moment. Knowing that he had been plotting
and planning for ways to get me into his life cemented for me that this was
real for Zane as well. This wasn’t about a possible baby, or some sex for him.
This was about real feelings. This was about a mutual attraction we had built
up for three months and finally acted upon. This was about us finding our
happily ever after.
“Do
you want to tell him, Lucky, or should I?” Zane’s voice cut into my thoughts,
and as my eyes focused, I could see a concerned expression on his face.
“Sorry,
what?” I blushed, embarrassed that I had zoned out and completely missed the
conversation.
“Sidney
was just asking if we knew what we wanted to focus on for the documentary. Any
particular part of his life?”
“Oh,
sorry.” I turned to Sidney and smiled. “Well, I think the central theme will be
you, but we will use your family members’ stories and relate them back to you.
If that’s okay.”
“It
sounds good to me.” Sidney grinned. “To think, someone’s making a movie about
my life.”
“I
still want to focus it on what your early life was like,” I continued. “I think
it’s important for people to know exactly what happened when African Americans
moved to the North from the South. You know there is this general sentiment and
belief that the North was more welcoming to blacks than the South, but that
isn’t really true.”
“The
North had its own problems.” Sidney nodded. “It wasn’t just us blacks, though;
the Irish had it bad, the Italians, the Jews. None of us really fit in.”
“But
they were able to assimilate a little bit better.” I paused. “Actually, maybe
assimilate isn’t the right word, but they were able to fit into the norm a bit
easier.”
“Well
you know that song about when you’re black?” Sidney laughed.
I
shook my head. “I don’t know the song, but I think I know what you’re talking
about.” I looked over at Zane and he looked baffled, so I tried to explain it
to him. “You know, when the Irish immigrated in mass numbers to the States,
they were staunch Catholics, so they weren’t really accepted by the traditional
WASP-y types who were Protestant. This was the same issues with the Jews. Most
of the groups remained pretty insular, and there was a lot of hatred and
mistrust among them. I guess the unknown and the different always does that.” I
shook my head sadly. “But eventually the groups were able to come together a
bit better, and these groups were able to move up the chain. Unfortunately, the
same circumstances made it a bit harder for black people, because they were
different in a way that would always be visible.”
“Ah,
I see.” Zane looked at me thoughtfully. “But many black people did well for
themselves, right? And when segregation ended, they had the same opportunities
as everyone else.”
“That’s
what we’d like to think,” I sighed. “But that wasn’t really the case. Many
cities and states were vehemently against the ending of segregation and opposed
it. There was one city, I think in Virginia, that basically stopped the school
session for a pretty long period.”
“What?”
Zane looked shocked. “That’s awful.”
“Well,
you know the stories of the Little Rock Nine, right?” I looked at him
curiously. “And how they were treated when they integrated the high school?”
“Vaguely.”
Zane grimaced. “Sorry. I was never really a history person.”
“That’s
okay, son,” Sidney chuckled. “Neither was I.”
“You’re
too kind, Sidney.” Zane smiled at him. “And thank you for allowing me to take
over this project from Noah.”
“That
boy was like a son to me.” Sidney laughed. “I never met a white boy so
concerned and incensed about race. He would get angry for me. I used to tell
Betty that this was a boy we needed when we were growing up.”
“Noah
always wanted to see the right thing getting done.” Zane smiled. “Even as a
boy, he wanted to make sure that people were treated fair and kind.”
“Oh
yeah?” I smiled at Zane, encouraging him to continue.
“I
don’t want to interrupt the conversation.” Zane laughed and I sighed inwardly.
I really wanted Zane to feel comfortable discussing Noah. I wanted him to get
to a point where it wouldn’t hurt so much.
“That’s
okay, boy, I’m sure Lucky here don’t mind if we get to hear a story about Noah.
He’s a fine boy.” Sidney ushered us into some seats. “And then we can look
through these papers and talk some more.
“If
you’re sure.” Zane smiled warmly. “I remember one time, when we were in high
school, I think I was a senior and he was a sophomore. There was this huge
controversy because someone had taken a CD player from one of the teachers’
classrooms. Well, supposedly the teacher made this huge stink and basically
wanted to get the student responsible suspended or expelled. Well everyone was
wondering who would have stolen this cheap little CD player. It couldn’t have
cost more than a hundred dollars.”
“That’s
a lot of money for a high school student,” I interrupted.
“Well,
not in L.A.” Zane laughed and I rolled my eyes as he continued. “So, then of
course, all eyes turned to two students in the school. An Asian guy and a black
guy. They were both on scholarship and lived on the south side, so
automatically people assumed it had to be one of them. The principal called
them both to his office and said that if one of them didn’t speak up and admit
he had stolen it, then they would both be expelled from the school. So a few
days pass, and both guys maintained they hadn’t done it. The teacher bans them
from his class and they get called to the principal’s office again, and he
tells them he is going to suspend them. So that day, Jerome Richards and Harry
Wang were escorted out of the school and sent home. The next day, Noah gets
some of his friends from the tennis team to join him in a protest outside the
school. I didn’t even know he was planning it. They had signs and a megaphone,
and they accused the principal of being racist. Well, the principal got mad and
he suspended all of them for disorderly conduct on school premises.”
“Wow.”
I looked at him with wide eyes.
“Well,
it gets better.” Zane’s eyes sparkled. “The next day, the teacher who had
caused the fuss about his CD player in the first place had to go sheepishly to
the principal’s office and tell him that there had been a mistake. No one had
stolen his CD player; he had taken it home over the weekend so he could listen
to some music while he washed his car.”
“No
way.”
“Yeah.”
Zane laughed. “The principal reinstated my brother and the rest of the tennis
team and had to issue a public apology to Jerome and Harry, who got a
settlement from the county.”
“That’s
crazy and kind of sad.”
“Yeah.”
Zane shook his head. “It was horrible, but it doesn’t have a horrible ending.
Harry and Jerome are both in med school right now at Stanford University.”
“Good
for them.” Sidney smiled. “I like to hear those endings. Too many of those
stories end up with the kids winding up on the streets or in jail.”
“Yeah.”
I nodded my head. “The statistics are horrible for low income and minority
families. Well, for the most part. The system is failing so many people.”
“Don’t
tell me you believe in handouts?” Zane said, and I frowned.
“It’s
not about handouts.” I shook my head. “It’s about fixing a broken system, it’s
about righting wrongs. It’s about being able to go to school and not being
judged based on your race or gender, or even your social class. It’s about poor
people being able to go to college and not be in debt for the rest of their
lives.”
“I
was just joking, Lucky.” Zane looked at me in concern and I smiled at him.
“Sorry,
I just get a little incensed at times.” I smiled. “That’s a side of me you
didn’t know.”
“It’s
a side of you that I like.” Zane stared at me. “The more I get to know the
multi-facets of you, the more I love you.”
“Oh,
Zane.” My heart melted at his words and I wanted to reach over and kiss him. “I
love you, too.”
“And
on that note, kids, I think we should take a break,” Sidney said. “Zane, will
you go and help Betty in the kitchen while Lucky and I have a brief chat?”
“Sure.”
Zane jumped up, walked over to me, and kissed me quickly on the head before
walking out of the room.
“You’re
good for him.” Sidney’s face was serious as he stared at me. “Noah would be
happy.”
“Oh?”
I looked at him curiously.
“Noah
was worried about his brother. He was worried that Zane would never know what
it was like to feel love.”
“He
told you that?” I was surprised at just how close they seemed to have gotten.
“I
told you he was like my son.” He smiled. “He talked to me about everything. It
was me who told him about the website, you know.”
“The
website?” I frowned, not understanding what he was saying.
“To
find his mom.”
“Oh?”
My heart started pounding. “He found their mom?”
“I’m
not sure.” Sidney paused. “Other things came up.”
“Oh.”
I was disappointed. “It would have been nice if he would have found her.”
“Maybe.”
Sidney frowned. “Sometimes people are best left in the past.”