“What
do you mean?” I sat forward.
“Sometimes
things are as they are meant to be,” Sidney sighed. “But I see Zane still
carries the pain.”
“I
think he’s still really hurt, you know?” My voice broke. “His mom leaving and
then Noah dying,
it’s too much heartbreak for
one person to deal with.”
“He
has you now.” Sidney looked away from me and I saw him clutching something on
his desk. “You know, Lucky, I like you. I like you a lot. From that first time
that I saw you, I could tell you have a kind heart and soul.”
“Thank
you.” I felt touched by his words. “I really like you a lot as well, Sidney.”
“You’re
good for Zane. He needs love. And he needs someone who is patient enough to
love him. There are a lot of things that have made him the man that he is.”
“I
love him so much.” I bit my lip. “But sometimes it’s hard. Really hard.”
“He
loves you a lot.” Sidney smiled. “Noah would be happy. That was his greatest
wish for his brother, to find love.”
“But
look where love took him,” I continued sadly. “It breaks my heart that he took
his own life.”
Sidney
cleared his throat. “Life is what we make of it. Everything is not always as it
seems. Sometimes we have to make decisions that are for the greater good.”
“Killing
yourself isn’t for the greater good!” I cried out.
Sidney’s eyes looked at
me sorrowfully. “Lucky, I wish I could tell you that I knew what was right and
wrong. What was good and bad. Hell, what makes people happy and what makes
people sad? But I don’t have those answers. I can just be the man I was meant
to be, and do the job that God wants me to do. I’m just a simple man, but I’m
good to those I love and I keep their secrets. It’s the least I can do.” He
leaned towards me again. “Lucky, you have a kind heart. I trust you will do
what you think is best.”
“Do
you think I should continue the search for Zane’s mom?” My brain was churning.
“Maybe that would give him the answers he needs. Maybe they can even
reconnect?”
“Whatever
you decide to do, just be there for him,” Sidney sighed. “I’ve a feeling that
there is going to be a couple more rollercoaster rides to come.”
“What
do you mean?” I peered at him wonderingly.
“Nothing.”
He smiled. “Let’s talk about my movie.”
“Okay,”
I sighed. I wanted to ask him more questions but I didn’t want to be rude.
“I
don’t have the answers for you, Lucky.” He smiled at me gently. “I can’t tell
you what you want to know, but I think you should do what your heart tells you
to do. Follow your heart, my dear; it will never guide you in the wrong
direction.”
“What
will never guide you in the wrong direction?” Zane walked back into the room.
“Don’t say a GPS. Those things take me to the wrong destination fifty percent
of the time.”
“Those
things get me all confused.” Sidney stood up and winked at me. “I swear they
are made to confuse the old folks like me.”
“You’re
not that old, Sidney.” I laughed.
“Well,
you sure do know what words to say to butter me up, dearie. Just don’t let my
Betty hear you; she’s a jealous one.” Sidney grinned at me and we burst out
laughing with Zane just standing there shaking his head.
I
walked over to him and took his hand and squeezed it. I wanted to let him know
that we were okay. I was okay. I understood him now. Well, a little better than
I had before. And I was going to finish what Noah had started. I was going to
find Zane’s mom. I was going to give Zane his happy ending. Maybe once he had
his mom back in his life and he understood why she left, he would feel a little
better, a little lighter, and a little more trusting and believing in love. I
felt like she was the key to fixing the broken piece of his heart.
***
“Hey,
that was a really good session.” Zane grinned at me as we drove out of the
Johnsons’ driveway. “I think this documentary is going to be awesome.”
“Really?”
I hesitated. “I know you did this for me and I don’t want you to be bored by
everything.”
“How
could I be bored? It’s fascinating.” He looked at me and laughed. “Okay, maybe
not fascinating fascinating, but eye-opening.”
“I
still can’t believe you took over Noah’s project just to get me to come to Los
Angeles with you.”
“I
don’t think I was thinking it through properly,” he chortled. “I just needed a
chance to get to know you better.”
“Well,
it worked.”
“Better
than I would have imagined.” He winked at me and I blushed.
“Why
didn’t you tell me when I found out about the party?”
“Honestly,
I didn’t even think about it.” He looked at me sideways. “Sorry.”
“Is
there anything else I should know?” I stared at him seriously. “As much as I
love that you tried everything you could to get to know me better, I don’t want
to find out a new secret every week.”
Zane
swallowed and continued driving. He turned on the radio and a Mumford and Sons
song reverberated through the car.
“Zane?”
I held my breath and tried to control my nerves. I was slightly angry that Zane
wasn’t answering me and I was fed up with always trying to get something out of
him. It was frustrating and tiring trying to get him to open up.
“I
don’t want to tell you,” he sighed. “I wasn’t going to tell you and I think
that you’ll be mad, but …”
“What
is it, Zane?” My face grew warm. “Oh my God, what is it?”
“Don’t
get upset, okay?” He didn’t look at me and I could barely hear his words over
the blaring of the song.
“Can
you turn the radio back off please?” I reached over to turn it off without
waiting for him to do it.
“Hold
on, let’s go somewhere first.” He looked at me quickly. “I promise I’ll tell
you, okay? I just want to be able to look into your eyes when I do, so I can
explain.”
“You’re
scaring me, Zane.” My mind was whirling with possibilities. What was it that he
was hiding from me?
“Can
we discuss it later?” His voice was pleading.
I
sighed. “As long as we get wherever we’re going soon.”
“We
will.” He pulled onto the freeway and tapped his fingers against the steering
wheel. The sound irritated me, so I turned the radio back on. I pulled out my
phone to see if I had any messages, and was surprised to see messages from both
Leeza and Braydon. I read them quickly and then closed my phone.
“Leeza
wants to come to visit us this weekend,” I spoke aloud. “Is that okay?”
I
wasn’t sure if I wanted Leeza to come after our last call, but I didn’t want to
tell her no. She had been my best friend for a while, and she had been there
for me when my parents had died. She and her long-term boyfriend had been on a
break for a few months, and I don’t think she had really gotten over the fact
that the relationship wasn’t going well. I couldn’t believe she was now
interested in that guy Evan. I hadn’t liked him at the party, and sure didn’t
like the sound of him now.
“Sure,
I’d love for your friends to visit.”
“Well,
just Leeza.” I paused. “I think she’s dating that guy Evan. What’s he like?”
“He’s
scum.” Zane’s voice was angry. “He hangs with Braydon. I don’t trust him.”
“But
it seems like you’re part of that group? Isn’t that how you met Leeza
originally?”
“Do
I hang out with them? Yes. Am I friends with them? No.” He sighed. “This last
year I’ve done a lot of things I wouldn’t normally do. It’s for Noah.”
“Huh?”
I looked at him in confusion. “You befriended his friends to stay close to
him?”
“No,”
he replied. “I infiltrated the group to get as much dirt on Braydon as
possible. He is responsible for my brother’s death. I will do anything to bring
him down.”
“Oh.”
I looked at him hesitantly. “Is that safe?”
I
was scared. I understood why he hated Braydon, and that was why I wasn’t going
to tell him that Braydon had texted me and asked me to go to lunch with him so
he could apologize to me.
“I’m
working with the FBI and the DEA.” His voice was short. “I’m helping them with
the case.”
“Are
you qualified to do that?” I reached over and grabbed his arm. “That sounds
dangerous.” FBI and DEA? I didn’t know Zane terribly well, but he certainly
didn’t strike me as a government official sort of guy.
“I
already had an in with the group, thanks to Noah.” He sighed. “It was easier
for me to get in closer with them.”
“But
Braydon knows you don’t like him.”
“He
knows I blame him for my brother’s death.” Zane’s voice was angry. “He thinks
it’s because he was there when my brother jumped. He doesn’t know that he is
suspected of being a part of a drug trafficking ring.”
“Oh.”
I paled. “You’re scaring me.” My skin ran cold thinking of the danger Zane was
putting himself in. “This sounds a whole lot more serious than I thought
before.”
“Lucky,
did I tell you that I wasn’t even able to say goodbye to my brother properly? I
wasn’t even able to kiss his body goodbye one last time.”
“What?
Why?”
“They
cremated him.” His voice was angry. “I don’t really know what happened. I guess
my dad gave permission. But they cremated him and all I have left of him are
his ashes.”
“Oh.
I’m sorry.”
“I
didn’t even get to see his body one last time. I suppose it was because his
body must have been splattered from jumping.” His voice was cold. “Braydon did
that, Lucky. I can’t let him get away with it.”
“I
understand.” My voice was tight and I looked out the window so he couldn’t see
the tears in my eyes. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through. I knew the
pain and heartache of losing someone, yes, but the gravity of his pain was so
much deeper than mine.
“I’m
sorry, Lucky.” He sighed and touched my arm. I realized that he had parked the
car as well.
“Where
are we?” I looked around and saw a couple of girls wearing bathing suits,
walking and giggling. “The beach?”
“I
know it’s not South Beach, but I love Santa Monica.” He nodded. “I hope you
don’t mind.”
“No.”
I got out of the car. “I actually like walking on the beach.” I watched as Zane
took his shoes off and he motioned to me to do the same. “The sand will be too
hot,” I protested, but he grinned and pulled a plastic bag out of the car. He
pulled out some flip-flops and smiled.
“I
bought these for us.” He threw me a pair and I caught them, laughing. I looked
down and saw that they were size 8, the exact same size as my feet.
“How
did you know I was a size 8?”
“I
checked your shoes.” He grinned. “I was hoping we could go to the beach later
this week. They were going to be a surprise.”
“Another
gift?” I giggled. “You’re spoiling me.”
“I
want to spend my life spoiling you.” He smiled at me tenderly. “Now take off
your shoes.”
“Yes,
sir.” I laughed at him. “You should have been a Sergeant in the Army.”
“If
you want me to order you around just say the words.”
“You
wish.”
“Don’t
you know it!” He winked at me and we both laughed.
“So
tell me, Zane,” I couldn’t hold it in any longer, “what exactly did you want to
tell me?”
“It’s
about Leo.” He bit his bottom lip and looked at me seriously. “I want you to
listen and not get mad.”
“Uh,
I can’t promise that.” I frowned. “What about Leo?”
“Well,
I want you to spend more time with him.” He paused and studied my face, a
slight worry in his blue eyes.
“Why?”
My heart was beating quickly as we walked along the beach. I was in such
anticipation of what he was going to say that I didn’t notice the white sand of
the beaches or the aquamarine of the ocean. I was so caught up in what he had
to say that I almost got hit by a stray volleyball before he grabbed me out of
the way.
“Lucky,
pay attention.” Zane shook his head at me and mumbled something under his
breath.
“What
was that?” I spoke sharply. “I didn’t quite hear you.”
“I
said, this is why you need Leo!”
“Why
I need Leo?” I turned toward him. “Are you trying to hook me up with Leo? Are
you crazy, Zane Beaumont? Are you fucking crazy?” I started shouting at him. I
could feel the blood rushing to my ears as I got more and more angry. “You
think it’s a good idea to set me up with your best friend? What was last week?
A meet-and-greet? Make sure that I was good enough for him? You’re sick, Zane.
Do you know that? You’re sick.”
“Are
you done?” He looked at me and there was a slight smile on his face and I could
tell that he was trying not to laugh.
“What’s
so funny?”