“It’s my own fault. I’ll get over it.”
Eventually she would, Madelyn knew, but at what price? Would her sister ever truly trust any man again? Love another man again? Mustering the most cheerful smile she could, Madelyn suggested, “Why don’t I pour us both a cup of tea and we’ll try this tart? It looks delicious even if it’s not chocolate.”
“Malynn.” Brie stopped her with a hand. “About your relationship with Zack. I think you should consider where it’s going.”
“It’s going just fine. We’re happy, both of us, the way things are.”
“And you don’t want more? You don’t want permanent? I can tell your feelings for him run deep. How deep do his feelings run for you?”
“I’m not sure,” she admitted. “He wants me, I know that. He cares for me.”
“And love?”
Madelyn dropped her eyes.
“If it’s not right,” Brie said, “if your relationship with him isn’t headed where you need it go, don’t waste your time. Don’t waste years like I did, waiting for him to change. He won’t. And then all you’ll be left with is your loneliness and your regrets. Don’t let him hurt you, Malynn, while you still have a choice.”
But Madelyn knew she didn’t. It was already too late. Gently, she pulled away. “I’d better get the tea.”
M
adelyn fanned the swizzle stick through her piña colada and decided that of all possible human emotions, guilt was the worst.
It was guilt that had led her to avoid a girls’ night out on the town for months, making excuse after pitiful excuse. And it was guilt that had convinced her to let her three stalwart friends, Suzy, Linda, and Peg, drag her out for an evening of fun and celebration. It was guilt as well that was keeping her from relaxing and enjoying herself tonight, far too aware of the lies she’d told them and the ones she knew she would keep on telling them.
“Happy birthday, Madelyn!”
The other women cheered, lifting their glasses high.
Madelyn raised hers and tapped it to theirs in a toast. She smiled. “Thank you guys for everything. Dinner and the drinks, and of course the presents. I love them all.”
“You’re very welcome. And there’s cake still on the way,” Peg volunteered.
Madelyn’s shoulders slumped. “The waiters aren’t going to sing to me, are they? You know I hate that.”
“This place is way too classy for that. As birthday girl you get a complimentary dessert served with a side of pure silence. No singing allowed.”
“Thank heavens.”
Peg finished off her drink. “No, thank me. Suzy here wanted to take you to one of those Mexican places where they clap and sing so loudly you can hear it in the next state. Linda, on the other hand, suggested a strip club.”
“One with male dancers,” Linda added. “Considering the occasion, I thought it might be fun. It’s not every day a woman turns thirty.”
“Don’t remind me.” Madelyn groaned. “Besides, I still have three more days left until my actual birthday.”
“Yes, I noticed you’re taking Monday off from work,” Peg said.
“I always take my birthday off. You know that.”
“Are you doing something special? Is James whisking you away to a romantic locale?” Suzy rested her elbows on the table in anticipation of the answer.
Guilt, the ugly beast, rose inside her again. It had been months now and she still hadn’t told them about her breakup with James. In fact, she’d even told them she’d seen him. Which wasn’t totally untrue. She had seen him—two months ago at her mother’s house, as a friend. And talked to him several times on the phone, as a friend.
Trouble was, if she told them she and James were no longer a couple, her friends would start trying to set her up. When she refused to be set up, they’d demand to know why, then worm it out of her that she was seeing someone else. Once they discovered she had a new man in her life, full disclosure was all but assured.
Relentless as hounds after a rabbit, they’d never leave off until they’d uncovered the identity of her mystery man. Better not to tempt fate, she’d decided. Better to continue shamelessly using James as cover.
“We are going out of town,” she said. “I just don’t know where yet. He’s surprising me.” There, she thought, that hadn’t been much of a lie. Everything she’d said was true, except that the “he” in this case happened to be Zack.
“Oh, that sounds like fun,” Suzy gushed. “May is such a beautiful time of year to travel.”
“When your boyfriend’s as rich as hers is, anytime’s a beautiful time to travel.” Linda rattled the ice cubes in her glass.
Suzy, ever the romantic, ignored the remark. “Maybe he’s going to propose. We’ve all been dying to know when you two are finally going to tie the knot.”
Peg and Linda hushed her.
“What?” Suzy protested. “You both said yourselves a woman who wants a family ought to quit fooling around and get on with it by the time she turns thirty. And then only if she’s really into her career. I plan to be married and have two kids by the time I turn thirty.”
“Linda, did you bring the noose with you? Or should I walk up the street and buy a handgun?” Peg asked as she glared at Suzy.
“What?” Suzy protested again. “It’s not like she doesn’t have somebody serious. They’ve just got to set the date. Right, Madelyn?”
Madelyn forced a smile. “Right.”
Their waiter appeared, bearing a small white frosted cake. “At least someone has good timing,” Peg said. “And the cake’ll do double duty by giving Suzy something to stick into her mouth besides her foot.”
“Really, everybody, it’s fine,” Madelyn said. “I’m not upset. It’s nothing my mother doesn’t bring up at least twice during every conversation.”
“You’ll get married when you feel the time is right.” Linda reached over to pat her hand. “I was married, had three kids, and got a divorce all before I turned thirty. Rushing into a commitment can be a terrible mistake, even with someone you think you know. There’s nothing wrong with making sure.”
“Thank you, Linda.”
“Just don’t take too much time making sure. James is wonderful, a real catch. He’s far too good to let slip away.”
Wouldn’t they all just die, Madelyn thought, if they knew she hadn’t just let him slip away but had actually tossed him back? And afterward had allowed herself to become entangled with a charmer who was unlikely to ever get caught? She pasted a happy look on her face, reached for the knife, and drove it deep into the cake as if it needed killing.
The party broke up less than an hour later, after Madelyn turned down an offer to continue the fun with a round of barhopping. Linda needed to get home to her kids. Peg, known for her endless capacity to party, seemed oddly distracted, as if she had somewhere else to be. And Suzy—well, Suzy at twenty-three was on the hunt for a man and had the annoying habit of latching onto the cutest male available, then disappearing with him for the rest of the evening, abandoning her friends without a second thought.
The three of them tucked Suzy into a crosstown cab, then decided to walk a block up and over, where they figured they’d stand a better chance of finding rides home for themselves. Halfway to their destination, Peg slowed. “Hey, isn’t that Zack Douglas? There in that restaurant?”
In a booth next to the window, he sat as visible as an actor spotlighted on center stage. No doubt at all, it was Zack.
And he was with a woman.
Even from a distance, his companion had the look of a siren, a dark-haired beauty, lush and steamy, with a touch of the exotic blended in. She laughed and twirled a swizzle stick through a tall, boldly shaped martini glass. She turned her head and for an instant the light caught her eyes, glinting as green as shards from a broken bottle, the lipstick on her mouth a hard slash of crimson.
Only Zack wasn’t laughing with her, his body held in a posture of displeasure and, if Madelyn wasn’t mistaken, barely veiled contempt. She watched him toss back a finger’s worth of liquor, then motion to the waiter to bring him another. He rarely drank, usually opting for club soda or black coffee. Knowing what she did of his past, she’d never questioned his reasons. But he wasn’t abstaining tonight. Who was the woman? Why was he with her? And what did she mean to him?
“I wonder who she is,” Peg said. “You don’t suppose she’s the reason he’s been such a good little boy at the office lately? Angie Lewis in media was actually complaining how he barely flirts anymore. Said he walked right by her a couple days ago and didn’t do more than give her a smile and a quick hello.”
Madelyn glanced away for a moment, even more uneasy than before. She didn’t relish the idea of Zack making time with every female at work, but neither did she want a marked change in his behavior, one that would provoke people’s curiosity—especially people like Peg. She’d have to mention it to him.
If
she decided to mention anything to him ever again. Who was that woman? She narrowed her eyes.
“Whoever she is,” Peg mused, “the two of them certainly are striking together with all those dark, sultry good looks.”
A cruel wave of jealousy rolled through Madelyn as she watched, tempered only by the conviction that he was not having a good time. At least she hoped he wasn’t. The idea that he might be made her already low spirits sink even lower.
Linda made an impatient noise. “As riveting as Zack Douglas’s love life is, the babysitter clock is ticking and if I don’t get home soon I fear she may turn into a pumpkin. Or eat every last thing in my fridge. So let’s get a move on, you two.”
Taking one last penetrating look, Madelyn trudged along the concrete sidewalk after her friends.
• • •
They had agreed to meet at the house of one of Zack’s friends, someone with no connection to work, who’d offered to let them store one of their cars in his garage over the weekend—so she and Zack could drive together. Zack still hadn’t told her where they were headed, wanting to keep it a surprise as long as possible.
With last night’s mystery woman fresh in her mind, Madelyn almost decided to stay home—almost. For just as fresh remained the memory of Zack, his unhappy demeanor and the uncharacteristic way he’d been tossing back drinks. The obvious answer—that he was seeing another woman—simply didn’t add up.
Eyes bloodshot and tired, he looked a bit rough around the edges despite his neat casual clothes and close shave. Expecting a typical show of male pride, she was surprised when he asked if she’d drive. He had a headache. She agreed without commenting on his health, accepting his murmured directions as they left the city behind.
For late morning on a Friday, traffic was light, allowing her to settle easily in the center lane. After several minutes of silence, she switched on the radio and tuned it to a classical station. The car interior filled with the gentle, melodic strains of Bach.
Five minutes passed. “Do you actually like that highbrow stuff?” Zack shifted in his seat, unable to stretch his legs their full length even in her well-appointed automobile.
“Yes, actually. I like all sorts of music. I thought your head might appreciate this a bit more than hard rock or hip-hop, but if you’d rather I can—”
“No, leave it. It’s fine. For now.” He checked their progress, then closed his eyes again. “How was your birthday dinner last night?”
“Nice. The food was great and the girls gave me a very pretty scarf plus a stack of lottery tickets—thirty—one for each year. Who knows, maybe I’ll get lucky and hit the jackpot.”
“If you do, there’s a gold Rolex I’ve had my eye on for a while.” He rolled his head toward her, a grin on his lips.
Madelyn didn’t return his smile.
“Hey, I’m joking, you know.”
“I know.” She locked both hands firmly on the steering wheel. “How was
your
night? Did you do anything in particular?”
He studied the passing scenery for a moment. “No, nothing special. Had dinner, read for a while; then I went to bed.”
“Hmm.”
Her hands tightened involuntarily. “Quiet evening at home, then?”
A long silence ticked past. “For the most part.”
Her heart sank. “That’s odd. Peg and Linda and I saw you out, having dinner with a woman around ten o’clock. Who is she, Zack?”
“She’s no one,” he said, his words clipped.
“She didn’t look like no one.”
“She isn’t important. She has nothing to do with you and me.”
Anger settled as hard and cold as a stone inside her chest. “You told me once that you didn’t like to share lovers. I don’t either.”
“Is that what you think?” He sounded amused.
“What else am I to think?”
“For one, that she’s rather old for me. You obviously didn’t get a good look.”
Annoyed, furious, she shot him a glance as she shifted into the slow lane. “We were passing by in front of the restaurant.”
“Were you ladies spying on me?”
“Don’t flatter yourself. We were walking up a block to flag down a cab when Peg spotted you. If you didn’t care to be noticed, you shouldn’t have chosen a window seat.”
“Touché. But then, you see, I didn’t care. Believe me, Madelyn, she’s no one you need to concern yourself with.”
She sighed. “If that’s true, then why won’t you tell me who she is? Why the lies?”
“I haven’t lied to you. Omitted a few details, perhaps, but not lied.”
“A few details?” she scoffed. “Maybe I should just turn the car around.”
“You are not turning the car around. Jesus, you’re the most obstinate female I’ve ever met. She’s my mother, all right?”
Shocked, Madelyn looked him full in the face. “Your
mother
?”
“Yeah. Hey, watch where you’re going before you run us off the road.”
She returned her attention to the highway, taking a moment to digest what he’d revealed. “I thought your mother abandoned you when you were a boy.”
“She did.” He rubbed a hand over his jaw, bitterness leaching into his words. “She found me a few years ago, after I earned my degree, after I landed my first decent job. I still don’t know how the hell she tracked me down.”
“Because you’re her son and she wanted to know you.”
His lips curled cynically. “You’re sweet, Red, you know that? Really sweet. No, what she wanted was my money.”
“Surely not.”
“She has a habit of running low on funds when she’s between men,” he explained. “Last night she gave me the heartbreaking news that she’s split with her fourth husband.
“God, you’d think she’d learn her lesson and have enough taste to shack up with them for a while, instead of going to the bother of making it legal. With all the lawyer fees, she never comes out with anything more than a few new dresses and some jewelry that she eventually winds up pawning. When she’s tapped out, she finds me.”
“Why don’t you tell her no?”
He laughed, but it was without humor. “Don’t think I haven’t wanted to. If it were just me, I’d have cut her off without a cent long ago. But she knows where Beth lives and she’s threatened to drop in on her for a visit—to see her grandchildren. I’m not going to let her bother Beth. She’s ruined her life enough as it is.”
His sister, he was protecting his sister. Madelyn reached for his hand. “I’m sorry, Zack. Does she ask for a lot?”
“Enough. She’s not bleeding me dry or anything. Most of the time she links up with a guy who has enough cash to bankroll her high-maintenance lifestyle. She likes feeling important. She’d be thrilled, by the way, to know you thought she was young enough to pass for my date, even if she was only seventeen when she had me. I guess the plastic surgery’s been worth every penny.”