“It wouldn’t if you’d let them adjust. What you need is a good hot meal to clear your head.”
“I can’t eat. I’ll just have a cup of tea.”
Zack was definitely in a mood this morning, she thought. Silent and brooding one minute, bossy and argumentative the next. Was he miffed at her about last night? She didn’t see why he should be. He’d certainly seemed to enjoy himself, and the wine had been his idea after all. She tended to be a cheap drunk, flying high after only one or two glasses—one of the reasons she didn’t partake too often. Last night she’d stopped counting after three. Despite her undeniably forward and embarrassing public seduction of Zack, she couldn’t believe he’d minded enough to be carrying a grudge this morning.
Still, there were parts of the evening that remained a mystery, a hazy mix of bits and pieces that seemed more akin to dreams than reality. Trouble was she wasn’t certain which was which, and she wasn’t particularly keen on questioning him to find out.
The waitress arrived to take their order.
Madelyn listened quietly while Zack asked for blueberry pancakes with a side of bacon, hash browns, a large orange juice, and hot black coffee. She ordered tea with milk instead of the usual wedge of lemon.
He stopped the waitress before she could tuck her pad away. “Add an order of scrambled eggs and dry wheat toast to that for the lady, and an apple juice. Do you have any fresh strawberries?”
“We do, as a matter of fact, nice local ones. They’re early this year.”
“Good. Bring her a serving of those as well.” Zack flashed one of his patented heart-melting smiles and handed the menus over. He didn’t notice the doe-eyed look the woman gave him.
Madelyn did.
She waited until they were in private to speak. “Why did you do that? I told you I didn’t want any food.”
“And I told
you
that you need to eat. Caffeine and aspirin aren’t going to cure your hangover. Now, close your eyes.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m tired of staring back at my own reflection.” He reached out before she could prevent him and plucked the sunglasses off her face.
Madelyn screwed her eyes shut like a nervous child, sure the worst awaited her on the other side. A full minute passed before she decided to brave it. Cautiously, she lifted her lids.
“Okay?” he asked.
Grudgingly, she nodded.
“You forget. I’ve had more experience at this sort of thing than you.” He leaned forward, putting his forearms on the table. “Madelyn, I’ve been thinking. About last—”
“Zack?”
Hearing his name, Zack turned his head toward the sound. “Billy?”
A wiry, brown-haired man approached their table. “Hell, man, I thought it was you.”
“Billy.” Zack erupted up out of his seat. “Billy Aikens.”
The two of them flung their arms around each other, pummeling backs and shoulders with fists and the flats of their hands. Grinning like fools, they pulled apart.
“What are you doing here?” Zack demanded.
“Same as you: testing my luck, wasting my money. Lord, how long’s it been?”
“Hell, I don’t know—four, five years? I thought you were out west roughing it in the California hills. Vegas wasn’t enough of a trip for you? You had to head all the way east to find some action?”
“Actually, these days, Vegas is the longer trip. I moved back to Virginia about a year ago. You still in New York?”
“I sure am, deep in the heart of the city.” Zack caught a glimpse of red hair out of the corner of his eye. “Hey, where have my manners gone? Billy, this is Madelyn. Madelyn Grayson. Red, Billy Aikens, an old friend of mine from days long past.”
“So I gathered. How do you do, Mr. Aikens?” Madelyn offered a smile and her hand.
Billy accepted both, taking her palm, his own rough with calluses. “I’m doing well—better now that I’ve met you. Zack here always did have excellent taste in women. And the devil’s own luck too. Bet he’s won a pile of loot at the tables.”
“Actually, it’s Madelyn who did that. She hit the jackpot yesterday. On slots, no less.”
“Well, congratulations; that’s great. Just like I said, either he gets lucky himself or he passes it along to someone else. I know he did for me. Saved my life on our first tour of duty in the service.”
“He exaggerates,” Zack said.
“Exaggerates, my eye. Tell that to the maniac who was about to whack my head open with a tire iron. If Zack hadn’t stepped in when he did, my nineteen-year-old brains would have been splattered all over the floor of that bar in Munich. As it was, Zack took some pretty solid hits, but he got us both out alive before the MPs arrived. A man can always depend on Zack.”
Uncomfortable, Zack changed the subject. “So are you here with Vivian? What about the kids? Did you leave them with your folks?”
“Nah, it’s just me.” Billy hunched his shoulders and studied a spot on the floor. “Viv and I, well, we made our split official a few months ago. The lawyers are licking their chops over the divorce right now. Bloodsucking vermin. A few more weeks and it’ll all be over.”
“Christ, Billy. I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry, man.” Zack laid a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
Billy shrugged as if it was just one of those things, but a deep sadness shone in his eyes. “Me too. Twelve years, you know. You think it’s gonna last forever. Then one day you wake up and everything’s changed. You deny it at first, until you realize it’s too late. Too much has passed and no matter what you do or say, it’s not ever gonna be the same again.”
“Your kids?”
“Viv’s got ’em. They’re young. Kids need their mother.”
Their waitress approached, hips swinging as she wrestled with an oversize tray stacked high with food.
Billy stepped out of the way. “Breakfast’s here. I’d better let you two get to it.”
“No, stay,” Zack pressed. “Have something with us.”
“Yes, we’d be delighted,” Madelyn agreed.
“Appreciate the offer, but I’d just finished my own meal when I looked up and recognized this one here.” He jerked a thumb toward Zack.
“Coffee, then?”
“Thanks, but I’ll have to take a rain check. It’s my last day here and I’ve got some recouping to do if I want to leave a winner.” He thrust out a hand. “Man, it was great to see you.”
Zack took his friend’s hand and they shook, grips as hard as steel. “Look me up. You’re always welcome in New York.”
“Same for Virginia. McLean’s not so bad if you don’t mind all the government spooks.” He winked.
In parting, they beat each other on the back one more time in the way men do.
Billy turned to her. “A true pleasure, ma’am. You take care and don’t let this one pull any wool over your eyes.”
“The pleasure was mine. And I already know to be careful of that wool.”
Billy laughed, waved good-bye, and strolled away.
Zack resumed his seat. “Your eggs are getting cold. Eat up.”
Hearing the curtness in his voice, and still feeling less than one hundred percent herself, Madelyn decided to set the subject of Billy Aikens aside for the time being. She eyed the congealing yellow globs on her plate and picked up her fork with a sigh.
Z
ack was quiet, unusually so. She could tell his thoughts were elsewhere even as he watched the highway ahead.
Madelyn fingered her new necklace, the one he’d given her, tracing the plump warmth of the opal, the pointed coolness of the tiny diamonds that encircled it like stars around an orbiting moon, and pondered the possibilities.
He’d insisted on taking the wheel even though they were driving her car, and she’d been perfectly willing to let him. Physically she felt much improved. As annoying as it was to admit, he’d been right; breakfast had been just the thing to sweep away the worst of her symptoms. Still, a weary sort of malaise lingered on, and she knew she wouldn’t complain tonight when it came time to crawl between the sheets. Her only regret was that Zack wouldn’t be there to crawl in next to her.
Out of the corner of her eye she watched him as she reviewed the events of that morning. As pleasant a person as Billy Aikens had seemed—and she had no doubt he was—Madelyn wished he and Zack hadn’t happened upon each other. Ever since the encounter, Zack had been remote, although truth be told, he’d awakened in an odd, unfathomable mood, one she’d never seen from him before.
“Thinking about your friend?” she questioned softly.
He tossed her a glance. “Which one?”
“Billy, of course. What other friend did you run into today?”
Instead of answering, he maneuvered around a slower-moving vehicle.
“I just wondered,” she continued. “You’ve been quiet ever since. Did it upset you? Seeing him again?”
“No, why would it? I always like meeting up with old friends, and he was a good one even if we haven’t kept up the way we should have.”
“What is it then? What’s wrong?”
“Why do you think something’s wrong?” He snapped, his tone sharp enough to cut through metal. “I’m just trying to work a few things out, that’s all.”
“Okay, I didn’t mean to intrude.” She crossed stiff arms over her breasts and angled her body away from him. “I’m tired. I think I’ll take a nap.”
Madelyn closed her eyes and concentrated on the sound of the tires beating in rhythm against the dark asphalt, the gentle hum of the engine, anything to keep the tears from falling.
Zack sighed.
She sniffed and tucked a hand beneath her cheek, pressing a thumb to the corner of her eye to hide the dampness she couldn’t quite control.
“
Aw, God
, Madelyn, are you crying?”
“No.” She sniffed again, harder this time, and screwed her eyes closed as tightly as they would go—a mistake that forced a near flood to erupt. “I’ve got something in my eye, that’s all.”
“No doubt from where I’ve been grinding my heel,” he murmured. “Please don’t cry, okay? I’m just tired and moody today.”
She dug a tissue out of her purse and blew her nose. “Everything was fine . . . at least I thought it was fine, until this morning. Did I . . . did I do something last night to upset you? Was it because I was drunk?”
“Your being drunk’s more my fault than yours. I’m the one who kept refilling your glass, even after you told me to stop. I didn’t realize you were really serious when you said two glasses was your limit.”
“I’m not much of a drinker.”
“It’s okay. Having a weak head for liquor isn’t a crime, you know.”
“It is when you can’t remember everything that happened,” she confessed.
“What do you remember?” His voice held an odd note of curiosity.
“Dinner and the wine, obviously. Then we went someplace in the hotel; they were playing music and a woman was singing. Then I started . . .”
“Yes?”
“Kissing you, touching you.” She flushed. “Did I unbutton your shirt?”
“Yes, and left some rather colorful marks as well.”
“Really? Where?”
His lips quirked. “Where it makes me glad I’m required to wear a suit and tie to work and not an open-necked jersey.”
“Let me see.” She reached out a hand.
He held her off. “No. If I show you now, I might wreck the car. You can look later. So go on.”
“With what? Oh. Well, I . . . I remember kissing you again and getting in the elevator to go to our room, and . . . well, this can’t be right.”
“What?”
“Some prune-faced woman and an old guy who was staring at my chest.”
Zack laughed. “You’re batting three for three so far. Do you remember rubbing my thighs?”
“Your thighs?”
“Yeah. Luckily you hadn’t tried to take off my pants yet.”
“Zack!”
“Just my shirt. Go on.” He prompted.
“Then we went to our room and started making love and somewhere along the way I stopped to brush my teeth. Is that right?”
“Yes, that’s right. And then what?”
“We made love and went to sleep. That’s it. Is there something else?”
He paused. “No. Your memory seems fully intact.”
“Then what’s bothering you?”
“I told you, I’m just tired and we have to be at work tomorrow. Last day of vacation grumbles, that’s all.” He reached over and laid a hand over hers where it rested against her knee.
She clasped his hand and relaxed. Still, she couldn’t help but feel he was holding something back. She dropped the subject and the two of them talked of ordinary things until they reached the home of Zack’s friend.
She climbed out, enjoying the buoyant lift of warmth that signaled the approach of summer, the skies clear now. Zack retrieved his bag from her trunk, then stowed it in the backseat of his car.
She waited for him to come and kiss her as he did each weekend before they parted ways. Lately, those kisses had been long and intensely passionate, stirring her blood in a way that left her nerve endings humming for hours after, her mind crowded and cluttered with thoughts of him.
But when he walked back to her and took her in his arms, she saw that the shadows had returned to his eyes. And the kiss he gave her—no more than a brief pressing of lips—sent a chill straight through her heart. He was about to step away when Madelyn drew him back down, compelling him to kiss her again, grinding her lips against his own with heated determination. Something snapped inside Zack and he forced her mouth wide, brutal and bruising, uncontrolled.
Abruptly, he set her aside. “I’ll see you at work.”
And in that moment she remembered everything, the words resounding in her ears as clearly as if she had just spoken them.
I love you too
.
Oh, God, Zack, I love you too
.
So much
.
She climbed into her car and started the ignition, hands shaking. She knew he wouldn’t leave until she did, so she made herself pull away from the curb, thankful for the sparse traffic and the residential side street.
When he finally made the turn that separated them—the one that would take him to his own apartment—she drove for two, maybe three blocks, then pulled over. She double-parked, ignoring the horn that blared from behind and the irate driver who squeezed around and roared away, tires screeching. She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and let the truth wash over her.
She’d told him she loved him.
And he hadn’t said it back.
• • •
She made herself go to work the next day even though all she really wanted to do was huddle underneath the bedcovers and pretend none of it had ever happened. Instead she forced herself up and into the shower, letting the hot water bring her fully awake.
She dressed in one of her favorite outfits, a teal blue midi-length skirt and a saffron yellow–and–white-striped silk blouse. On her feet she wore a pair of white Mary Janes; the opal pendant that dangled around her neck added the perfect finishing touch. She nearly took the necklace off but refused since doing so seemed like too much of an admission that her and Zack’s affair might be coming to an end.
Her day was a hectic game of catch-up that left her little time to think of anything but work. At first she worried about running into Zack and seeing in his eyes what she feared—indifference or, worse, an uncomfortable kind of pity. Then she heard he’d left the office for a daylong taping of a television commercial, news that should have been a relief but lowered her spirits instead. By lunchtime, though, she was so wrapped up in her own work she managed to forget about him—well, almost forget about him.
It was late, the office empty by the time she rode the elevator down to the lobby. After trading good nights with the building security guard, she headed for her car. Halfway there she remembered the file she’d left on her desk—the one she was supposed to have sent down to production hours before. Grumbling under her breath, she did a sharp about-face.
The hallways on the ninth floor were illuminated by lights that dimmed but never slept, the vacant offices and cubicle areas draped in layers of gray shadow. Anxious to complete her task and head for home—again—she walked briskly into her office, grabbed the file, and turned to leave. That was when she heard the sounds coming from the supply room at the end of the hall, muffled bumps and a small scraping noise, the kind you might hear when someone was trying to move furniture.
Curious, she approached, listening to the low murmur of voices, the words hushed and indistinguishable. Perhaps a pair of the administrative assistants had stayed late to inventory supplies and straighten out the stock, which had a habit of snowballing into a disaster zone every few weeks. She hesitated at the closed door.
That’s when she heard the moan, high and keening, as if someone were in pain. Immediately she opened the door.
Posed in profile, a couple was making love. Braced atop a four-box stack of unopened copy paper, the woman’s bare arms twined around the naked torso of the dark-haired man who held her, her skirt hiked up way past indecent, her bare legs curved around his waist as he kissed and stroked her, their movements rocking the boxes of paper she was sitting on, banging them inelegantly into a nearby filing cabinet.
Madelyn let out a squeak and averted her eyes, starting to back out. Then she caught a glimpse of the woman’s face.
“Peg?”
The woman looked up.
“Madelyn?”
Peg’s lover turned to look at her.
“Todd?”
“Madelyn!”
he squeaked.
“Oh—my—God,” Madelyn said, each word spaced in stunned disbelief.
The lovers sprang apart, hopping around like chickens who’d just lost their heads as they tried to cover bare body parts.
Madelyn knew her eyes must be the size of dinner plates. “Oh, wow. Oh, gee. Oh, just . . .” She flapped her hands. “Just forget I was ever here.”
“Wait. It’s not what you think.” Peg fluttered a hand, her blouse hanging askew and misbuttoned. “Well, it is what you think, but—”
“For Christ’s sake,” Todd muttered, his face stained with embarrassment. “I thought you’d locked the door.”
“I thought
you’d
locked it,” Peg told him.
“What’s all the commotion? Is somebody hurt?”
Madelyn looked over to find Zack standing in the doorway, surprised that he was still at the office. He lifted one dark eyebrow as he surveyed the scene, a ripe grin spreading over his mouth as understanding dawned.
“I didn’t know you two had hooked up,” he said to Peg and Todd. “Well, carry on, by all means. Madelyn, shall we go?”
Madelyn met his eyes and nodded.
“No, wait, both of you!” Peg exclaimed as she gave her short skirt a firm downward tug. “Todd and I have an announcement.” She reached out and grabbed Todd’s hand, pulling him close. “Coming in here—it was just . . . foolish spontaneity. We got carried away from the excitement.” She grinned, beaming as widely as a model in a tooth-whitening ad. “Congratulate us. We’re getting married!”
Madelyn’s jaw dropped. “
What?
You and Todd? How? When? No offense, Todd, but I didn’t think you even came up as a smudge on Peg’s radar screen.”
Todd draped an arm across Peg’s shoulders. “You’re right. She barely knew I existed, not until that wonderful night when I forgot my wallet and missed my train home. The guy she was going out with got all bent when she arrived with me in tow. He really bristled up when she told him she’d offered to let me share their cab.”
“You wouldn’t believe the big asshole Bruno turned into,” Peg said, taking over the story. “He was just awful to Todd, bellyaching about how he wasn’t going to pay for an extra ten-block cab ride just to give a lift to one of my coworkers. How if Todd was any sort of man he’d make it home on his own. It was freezing that night and beginning to sleet.”
“I remember,” Madelyn murmured.
Peg continued. “He made me so mad, I told him he could forget the date; Todd and I would share a ride on our own. Bruno grabbed me and tried to force me into the cab he’d flagged. That’s when Todd came to my rescue and hit him.”
“Hit him?” Madelyn and Zack repeated together.
“Yeah, a real roundhouse punch right in the nose. Dude, you should have seen the blood fly, gushed all over Bruno’s white wool sweater. He whined like a baby.” Peg looped an arm around Todd’s waist and smiled at him with the dopiest expression Madelyn had ever seen. “My hero.”
Todd smiled back, losing himself in his beloved’s eyes. A few seconds later, they were kissing.
Madelyn allowed them a moment, then clapped her hands. “Hey, break it up you two, or we’ll be back where this all started. I assure you, I don’t need to see it again.”
“I didn’t see it.” Zack leaned a shoulder against the doorjamb. “If they want to stage a reenactment, they should go ahead.”
Madelyn ignored Zack and his suggestion. “So what’s the rest of the story?”
Flushed and breathless, Todd and Peg forced themselves apart.
Todd recovered first. “Peg and I took another cab. I’d banged up my knuckles pretty good, so when we got to her place, she invited me up to put ice on my hand. We started talking and before either of us knew it, half the night was gone. We found out we have a lot in common. Did you know her brother was best friends with my cousin Jim in high school?”
“I had no idea.” Madelyn remarked.
Peg shot her a look. “To cut to the chase, Todd and I started seeing each other. We decided to keep it quiet at first, in case things didn’t work out. Then later, well, it just seemed simpler not to say anything, what with our working together and all.