The Last Of The Wilds (53 page)

“Wait…” he exclaimed, catching his balance. “Auraya!”

She attacked again. Though she now knew who he really was, she could not help feeling surprise at his strength. She had known Leiard was powerful, but not
this
powerful.

“What of your promise?” he half-shouted at her. “You said I would not be harmed. You swore on the gods!”

She paused, then battered him with magic again.

“I swore that Leiard would not be harmed. You are not Leiard.”

He wasn’t fighting back.
He must know he has no chance of winning
, she thought.
I have only to increase the strength of my attack until it overwhelms him
. As she drew in more magic his expression changed to one of determination and she braced herself for a counter attack.

“But I
am
Leiard,” he said quietly. “It is time you knew the truth.”

Where there had been nothing suddenly there was a mind. She saw a flood of memories and images and felt intentions and emotions.

! Huan hissed.
Don’t look!

It was too late. The answers to all Auraya’s questions were there for her to see. Mirar’s mental voice spoke to her and she could not stop herself listening.

s is how I died…

She saw Juran fighting and felt Mirar’s disbelief and betrayal as his strength failed. He reviewed all he had done and could not see how any of it justified his execution. His only crime had been to annoy the gods. Nobody had died. Nobody had been harmed. He’d only encouraged people to question and offered them a choice. And in return…

She saw a great explosion of dust and stone and felt an echo of the agony of being crushed. She understood that Mirar had reached out for enough magic to sustain a fragment of himself, and how he had evaded the gods and Juran by suppressing his personality and creating another to replace it.

s is what I became.

Not the man she had known as Leiard. Not at first. His body twisted and scarred, his memory gone, he had roamed the world a miserable cripple. Only after many years did his body recover. Only when he came to Jarime and became Dreamweaver Adviser did his true identity begin to stir.

s is why I remembered.

His disguise had unravelled because of her. His instincts, created when he’d made Leiard, told him to stay away from Jarime, but the desire to stay near her was stronger. She felt her heart twist. Leiard
had
loved her. She had not been deceived. But Leiard was not real.

e is. This is what I have become.

She saw what she had only glimpsed before. The link memories of Mirar were his real self returning, but Leiard had spent a century becoming a real person. After the battle he had travelled to Si with a friend. Glimpsing this beautiful young woman, Auraya felt a stab of jealousy.
Who is she?
The friend had helped him realize that Leiard could not be anything that Mirar was not capable of being. Accepting that if Leiard loved Auraya then he must too had been the moment he had become whole again. Knowing he could not be with her hurt, but so did the thought that he might cause her trouble, so he intended to leave Northern Ithania when the Siyee had recovered and to take himself far away.

:I
am Leiard
, Mirar said.
I am also Mirar. Neither of us are the same as we once were. But what we
—

! Auraya started as Huan’s voice drowned out Mirar’s. A glowing figure flared into existence beside her.
Whatever you have been this last century, you are no less guilty of the crimes you committed
.

t crimes? he asked defiantly.
Being annoying? Giving people an option other than worshipping you blindly? Telling them the truth about your past? You and your companions are guilty of far worse crimes than I
.

Auraya frowned as she glimpsed terrible memories in Mirar’s mind. He glanced at her as he pushed them aside.

:I
would show you
, he said,
but to do so would cause you great pain
.

Yet from what she had seen she knew that he believed the gods were capable of cruelty and injustice. He also believed he had done nothing to deserve death.

She also knew he had done nothing to her or the White out of spite or malicious intent. He had been bumbling about, struggling with the return of his true identity, and getting himself into strife.

.

She turned to the goddess, numb from shock at all she had learned.

:I
s
it a crime to deny a soul immortality? Mirar claims he offered mortals a choice, but he cannot offer them an existence after death. To lure a mortal away from us is to cheat them of eternity. You know this
.

Mirar shook his head.

e would prefer that, rather than an eternity chained to your side. I might not be able to preserve their souls, but I also cannot use that end as a reward or punishment. Perhaps I should
show Auraya some of the things you have done
—

s I did in the distant past. The Age of the Many ended long ago, Huan declared, her head high.
The excesses of that time are forgotten. Even you must acknowledge that we, the Circle, have created a peaceful, prosperous world in the last century
.

Mirar paused.

u have, he admitted.
But if your past can be forgotten, then why not mine?

Auraya felt a smile pulling at her lips. He had a point.

Then the glowing figure that was Huan suddenly flared brightly.

e you continue to work against us, immortal. See, Auraya, how he turns our words against us! She turned and walked toward Auraya.
He has befuddled you with twisted truths and hidden lies. Give over your will to me
.

Auraya’s heart stopped. Give over her will… Huan meant to possess her? She took a step back as the goddess drew close. Instead of colliding with her, the glowing figure passed through her. She found herself surrounded by light.

e over your will, Huan commanded.

Mirar was staring at her. Different expressions crossed his face: first horror, then fear, then resignation.

:I
must do as she says
, she told herself.
I must
.

It would be so easy to just give over the responsibility for Mirar’s death to the goddess. It wouldn’t matter that killing him was… was…

Unjust. Unfair. He had done things she did not approve of, but nothing deserving of death. Circlians did not execute people without good cause—at least not the law-abiding ones. There were alternative punishments for minor crimes. Imprisonment. Exile.

y me, Auraya.

She put her hands to her face and groaned.

:I
can’t. This goes against the laws that
you
laid down, and that you gave us the responsibility to uphold and refine. Killing without just cause is murder. I can’t kill Mirar. I can’t allow him to be murdered
.

She waited for Huan’s reply, but none came.

“Auraya?”

Taking her hands from her face, she looked at the man standing before her. Whether Leiard or Mirar, he had brought her more trouble than anything else in the world. She wanted him gone. “Go,” she found herself saying. “Leave Northern Ithania before I change my mind—and never come back.”

! Huan’s voice boomed.
Do not defy me!

As Mirar hurried away, his boots splashing in the stream, she felt her knees weaken. She sank to the ground, feeling ill and desolate and yet also a bitter and disturbing satisfaction.

If I just made the right just choice, then why do I feel so bad?
She shook her head.
Because I just disobeyed one of the gods and for a moment there I was proud of it
.

And Huan can’t have failed to notice.

The Drayli family had so much luggage with them that Emerahl suspected they’d brought every possession they owned apart from their home. They had been dismayed to learn they would have to sell or throw away at least half of it.

“My boat is small,” she had reminded them. “Not only will there be no room for you if we pack all this in, she’ll probably lie so low in the water that the slightest wave will flood the boat, and you’ll lose everything. Can you swim? I hadn’t thought to ask until now.”

Shalina had turned white, which told Emerahl her question had had the desired effect.

“They are only things,” Tarsheni said quietly to his wife. “Possessions. We can’t let mere objects get in the way of our search for the true deity.”

The sorting out of their belongings had taken a frustratingly long time, then Emerahl had to accompany the family to the market to watch over the selling of them. Their friendly innocence and generosity made up for their expectation that she would help them in all matters. When the afternoon grew old, Tarsheni had insisted he pay for a meal and a room for her at the boarding house. They did not want to search for the tunnel in the dark, concerned that their children would be frightened.

Now, as she watched them climb tentatively into her boat, she found herself worrying how they would cope with a sea journey. She sensed determination and excitement from both adults and curiosity from their son. The baby was blissfully unaware of the adventure his family was undertaking. They gazed at the other water craft as Emerahl guided her boat out of the docks.

Leaning forward, she gave Shalina a small bottle.

“What is this?” the woman asked.

“It is for seasickness,” Emerahl told her. “Take one capful each and a third for the boy. Give the babe a drop mixed with some water and let me know if she starts to redden.”

“I don’t feel sick at all,” Tarsheni said. “I don’t think I’ll need it.”

“You will when we get out into the waves. The cure takes some time to work and isn’t as effective after you get sick, so best take it now.”

They did as she said. Once free of the docks, Emerahl directed the boat in line with the Isthmus. The boy began asking his parents a flood of questions about sea-related matters. Emerahl resisted smiling at some of their answers.

“How are you moving us?” Tarsheni said suddenly. “The sail is down and you’re not rowing.”

“Magic,” Emerahl told him.

His eyebrows rose. “A useful Gift for a sailor.”

She laughed. “Yes. One tends to learn and practice what is useful to one’s trade. Do you have any Gifts?”

He shrugged. “A few. I am a scribe, as all my ancestors were. We pass down Gifts used for preparing parchment and ink, sharpening tools, and to defend ourselves.”

“Defend yourself?”

“Sometimes the letters we deliver are not well-received, even if we did not dictate them.”

Emerahl chuckled. “Yes, I imagine that would happen occasionally.”

“I hope to write down the words of the wise man of Karienne.”

“You seem to know a lot about him already,” she said. His quiet enthusiasm had impressed many at the boarding house the previous night. Emerahl had almost expected to find a string of boats following her to the tunnel today.

“Only what I have been told by others who have listened to him,” he admitted. “Sometimes what is said is contradictory. If his words are written down, none can alter his meaning.”

“In theory. Others might alter your work later.”

He sighed and nodded. “That is possible. If there were a Gift I could use to prevent it, I would dedicate my life to learning it.”

“You said last night that this god created the world, the gods, all creatures and every person. If it created humans, and they are capable of cruelty and murder, then it must either have intended that to be so, or made a mistake.”

Tarsheni grimaced. “That is a question I wish to pose to this wise man.”

“If it wasn’t a mistake, I don’t think I’d like this… Is that the runnel, do you think?”

Emerahl felt the boat shift slightly as the family turned to follow her gaze. She had seen a fold in the steep side of the Isthmus ahead. As they drew closer she noted a path running down to the gap.

“It looks like it,” Tarsheni answered.

“Yes,” Emerahl agreed. “No—don’t bring that into sight yet,” she added as he drew out his purse. “Let’s see what we find here first.”

He looked anxiously toward the tunnel. “Do you think it is a trap?”

“Just being cautious.”

The fold deepened, and as they reached it they could see lamps hanging from the walls on both sides of a tunnel and a half-circle of light at the other end. The walls were supported by brickwork, which looked like it had been recently repaired at the entrance. In what Emerahl guessed was the center, a large metal gate filled the gap. The path became a ledge that ran along one side of the tunnel.

She could see figures ahead and sense interest as they noticed her boat entering. Her skin pricked as their interest changed to greed and anticipation.

“How did you find out about this tunnel, Tarsheni?”

“A man told us about it. He said he could sail us north in exchange for the fee to get through the tunnel.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“We didn’t like the look of him.”

“Hmm. It seems to me that this tunnel ought to be busier or there’d be no profit in making and manning it.”

“Perhaps it is too early in the day.”

“Hmm.”

She considered who might use the tunnel. Fishermen could find it useful, but the tunnel was too small for any craft except little boats like hers. Only travellers like herself, alone or with a few others, would seek out the tunnel.

“What else did he say about the tunnel?”

Tarsheni shrugged. “That there used to be many tunnels through the Isthmus, most carved by smugglers, but people began to worry that they’d collapse and the Isthmus would be washed away by the sea. They had them filled in.”

Emerahl thought of the repairs to the brickwork around the entrance. Had this tunnel been blocked, then recently reopened?

“Did he say if anyone objected to this tunnel being reopened?”