The Lawman's Surrender: The Calhoun Sisters, Book 2 (22 page)

Now she knew, truly and intimately, what awaited her should the trial in Denver go badly. If they didn’t find Mrs. Hawkins, then there was every possibility that she could be found guilty of murder, no matter how circumstantial the evidence. Then she would once more feel the tightening of a noose around her neck.

In that split second after the wagon had pulled away and before she lost consciousness, she had realized how short life could be. It seemed so silly to worry about the tenets of fashion or the rules of society, when what was important was being with the people you loved while you were still alive to do so.

She had let the fear of a broken heart hold her back from taking that last step into Jedidiah’s arms. Honestly, what would happen if she gave herself to him as she longed to do, and then he left her? She could now truthfully say that though she would be unhappy, she would certainly survive. And down the line, when the pain faded, she would have the beautiful memories to treasure for the rest of her life.

Now that she was no longer afraid, she found that she also had the courage to look at the other side of it. What if she gave herself to Jedidiah and he came to love her as much as she loved him? What if she missed out on years of happiness with him by her side because she hadn’t dared to take that risk?

Life was short, and her life could be even shorter if she were found guilty of murder. So why not take advantage of what little time they had together to discover each other as man and woman? What was stopping her from going to him right now and asking him to make love to her?

Not a thing.

She turned away from the window and headed toward the door. This time if she died, she truly would have no regrets.

Jedidiah sprawled in the chair in the corner of his room and nursed his second glass of whiskey. Things had definitely not turned out as he had planned.

Caldwell had gotten away. Nate was working on getting a warrant for the man's arrest on the counts of attempted murder and obstructing justice, but Jedidiah still felt restless. For the first time in his life, he wanted to bypass the law and deal with Caldwell himself.

He wasn’t proud of how he felt, but he didn’t deny it either. He was done lying to himself. Susannah was
his
woman, and Caldwell had tried to harm her. Therefore, Jedidiah wanted to rip Caldwell apart with his bare hands. A perfectly logical reaction, under the circumstances.

He tossed back a swallow of whiskey. The image of Susannah dangling from that rope—even for those few seconds—would live in his nightmares for the rest of his life.

He had wanted to stay with her. After the doctor had pronounced her shaken but not badly hurt, Jedidiah had longed to take her in his arms and hold her tight. But he didn’t dare. It was his fault Caldwell had gotten hold of her, and he wouldn’t blame her if she was just as angry with him as he was with himself. And he was too scared to find out.

Caring definitely confused things, he thought sourly, taking another swallow of whiskey.

He heard a sound at the door and turned to look, just as Susannah slipped into the room.

She wore a white nightdress that showed off a distracting amount of slender ankles and calves. Her blonde hair fell over her shoulders in loose waves, and when she closed the door and turned to face him, he realized that he could see the shadow of her nipples through the thin cotton.

He closed his eyes. Two glasses of whiskey in him, and now this temptation?

“Jedidiah?” Her soft voice stroked over him like silk, stirring his blood and his body. Opening his eyes again, he took in the sight of her, silently promising that all he would do was look.

Later, he would take a long, cold bath.

“What can I do for you, Susannah?”

She tilted her head to look at him, her gray-blue eyes so serious, and her hair falling forward like silken moonbeams. “I came to thank you for saving my life.”

“No thanks necessary.”

“Oh, I think it’s very necessary.” She came toward him, her nightgown billowing and settling over every tempting curve. “If not for you, I’d be dead.”

“If I hadn’t left you alone, it would never have happened.”

Her eyes widened, and he pressed his lips tightly together, realizing how harsh his words had sounded.

“Surely you don’t blame yourself?” She came closer, reaching out one slender hand to touch his shoulder. “It couldn’t be helped, Jedidiah. We needed to find Mrs. Hawkins, and you were doing what you were supposed to do.”

“Mrs. Hawkins got away, so it didn’t do a damned bit of good to leave you like that.”

“Lordy, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear before,” she teased, obviously trying to cajole him out of his foul mood. “Isn’t that against the rules of a gentleman?”

 
He wasn’t in the mood to be cajoled. “I’m just a man, Susannah. One who almost cost you your life today.”

“Then I suppose you would be in my debt, wouldn’t you?”

“What?” He frowned at her, puzzled by her casual tone.

“Since you almost got me killed, you’re in my debt,” she clarified.

He shifted restlessly. “I wouldn’t put it that way.”

“Then how would you put it?”

“I almost got you killed, and I’m sorry for it.” He didn’t realize he was shouting until she winced and glanced at the door.

“I’m sorry, too,” she said, turning back to him. “But it’s done now. And I’m still alive, thanks to you.”

“You’re welcome.” Tossing back the last of his whiskey, he brushed past her and fetched the bottle from the top of the bureau with shaking fingers. Another moment with her standing so close, and he would go insane.

“I know you’re upset, Jedidiah, but you don’t have to drink away the pain.” She came up behind him and stroked her hands over his shoulders. He froze, clenching the whiskey bottle in his hand. Didn’t she realize what she was doing to him?

Of course she did. She was Susannah Calhoun, irresistible flirt and accomplished seductress. He turned his head to look at her, arching his brows as he drawled, “Do you have another suggestion?”

“You could make love to me.”

He stared. He hadn’t expected her to accept his challenge, but the steady blue eyes that met his showed no nervousness, no hesitancy as a virgin might display. Obviously Susannah Calhoun had been down this road before.

The thought pricked him, but he wanted her anyway. He put down the whiskey bottle. “Is that an offer, princess?”

“As a matter of fact, it is.” She lifted her chin, straightened her spine. “If you don’t want me, Jedidiah, just say so. I can handle it.”

“Can you?” He turned to face her, cupping her cheek and spearing his fingers into her hair. “Be very sure, Susannah, because I’m in no mood to stop. I want you very badly.”

She swallowed hard, but her eyes never left his. “I want you, too.”

“All right then.” Smooth as water, he dipped his head and pressed his mouth to hers.

He was so demanding, Susannah thought with a thrill, parting her lips for his seeking tongue. Demanding, but gentle. She followed the urging of his hand on her back and stepped into his embrace, pressing her body to his. It was heaven the way their bodies met and matched, fitting together as if made for one another. Eager for more of him, she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him back with all the love and hunger she’d bottled up for so long.

He groaned, slanting his mouth across hers, showing no signs of the gentleman she had always known him to be—and she loved it. His hands caressed her back and held her trapped against him. She felt his fingers tangling in her hair, his thigh pressing between hers, his heart pounding hard and furious in his chest.

He broke the kiss finally, gasping for air like a drowning man, then held her face in his hands and looked deeply into her eyes. “I asked you once before, Susannah. Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Yes.” Boldly, she took his hand and kissed the palm, then laid it on her breast. “I want this. I want you.”

“No turning back.”

“No turning back,” she echoed.

When they reached the bed, he sat down on it, pulling her to stand between his legs.

“You are so beautiful,” he said with quiet reverence. “Not just your eyes and your hair, but your smile and your wit and your laughter. And I feel like the luckiest man alive tonight.”

She smiled slowly, pleasure blooming like a rose inside her. “I’m the luckiest woman.”

He took her hand and guided it to his shirt. “Here. Unbutton it.”

As she did so with fingers that trembled, he reached out and cupped one of her breasts in his palm. She gave a soft gasp as he tested the weight of it, squeezing it gently and rubbing his thumb across her hardening nipple. No man had ever touched her like this before, and even if one had, she doubted it would ever have felt this good.

“You like that.” Laughing softly, he caressed the other one as well. “I want to see you. To taste you.”

Her knees almost buckled. Heat smoldered in his sherry-colored eyes as he continued to fondle her breasts. She managed to get four buttons undone on his shirt, but the touch of his hands was making her light-headed.

“Touch me,” she begged, rubbing her palms against the hair-roughened expanse of his chest. “I want to feel everything.”

“Come here.” He edged her closer. Then he slipped his hands beneath the hem of the nightgown and glided them up the backs of her thighs to cup her rear end.

She gasped with surprise, then groaned as he leaned up to take one nipple in his mouth, right through the material. Her knees felt watery, and she thought she would pass out from the pleasure of his hands and his mouth. A flush stained her cheeks as his strong hands began to knead her bottom. No one had ever touched her there either. Jedidiah would be her first lover, and she was glad she had waited for him.

“Take this off,” he murmured, bunching the nightgown in his hands. “I want to see all of you.”

She hesitated, shyness taking over. But Jedidiah impatiently tugged at the nightdress, finally drawing it over her head and tossing it into the far corner.

“Sweet Lord.” He studied every inch of her, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Almost reverently he stroked her breast, smiling as the nipple beaded beneath his wandering fingers. Then he touched her slender waist, teased her navel, and finally, with a soft sound of triumph, tangled his fingers in the nest of blonde curls at the juncture of her thighs.

She grabbed his shoulders as her legs collapsed, and he laughed, falling backwards on the bed with her straddling him. Instantly he cupped her breasts in both hands, kneading the sensitive mounds with gentle skill.

“Open my shirt, sweetheart,” he urged. “I want you to touch me, too.”

Susannah reached for his remaining buttons, but the sensations his hands were bringing forth staggered her all over again. She managed to get his shirt open, and by the time he leaned up to suckle one pale pink nipple, she realized that they had only just begun.

The tugging of his mouth at her breast combined with the tickle of his mustache against the delicate skin struck her as an incredible sensation—one she wanted to feel everywhere. Suddenly she got greedy for his kisses and his knowing hands. Tugging his face to hers, she kissed him with all the sweet passion streaking through her veins. She fell forward, still kissing him, and he held her as he gently rolled them over.

Now she lay on her back, naked beneath him even while he was still mostly clothed. He pressed his mouth to her neck, his mustache sending streaks of excitement shooting to her center. He strung kisses down her throat, then paused, coming to the mark the noose had left around her neck. Very gently, he brushed slow, tender kisses along the welt.

Her heart swelled and all but burst from the love that overflowed from it. She knew he didn’t want her love, but she gave it to him anyway with her hands and her mouth, showing him without words how she felt about him.

He shuddered under her touch, this tall, strong man who had the strength of a cougar but now purred like a kitten. He traced her thighs with first his fingers, then his mouth. She opened to him like a flower in the sun, and shivered with reaction as he stroked her delicate woman’s flesh, his caresses soft and sure.

She was burning with a hunger she had never known but had waited for all her life. She lifted her hips off the bed, her body longing for a completion she didn’t fully understand. She knew what happened between men and women. She had been raised working with farm animals, after all. But somehow she had never suspected the force of the need that went with the physical act. This demanding fire that stoked desire and singed all vestiges of reason.

“Jedidiah,” she whispered, stroking his hair, arching beneath his hands.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart.”

“I want…”

“I know.” He pressed his thumb over a sensitive spot that made her gasp and open wider, offering herself to him.

“Please, Jedidiah!”

“Yes,” he murmured, kneeling up to shed the rest of his clothing. “Here, help me.” He took her hand and placed it at the front of his trousers.

“Oh!” Blushing furiously, she jerked her hand back from the strange male hardness.