The Lawman's Surrender: The Calhoun Sisters, Book 2 (27 page)

“You didn’t do it.”

“I know that, and you know that. But does the jury know? Will they believe me? We’ve had no luck at all tracking down Mrs. Hawkins. What was I thinking, starting a love affair with you? What do I possibly have to offer besides a few moments of shared pleasure?”

“Don’t talk like that.” He came across the room and took her by the shoulder. “You have so much to offer. Don’t berate yourself because I’m too much of a bastard to take a chance on us.”

Tears welled in her eyes as she looked up at his beloved face. “Don’t you see, Jedidiah? There is no
us
. We’ve been fooling ourselves all this time.”

“This is real.” He shook her once, gently. “What we feel, what we have together—it’s real, Susannah. I’ve never felt this way before about anyone. I don’t think I’ve been feeling anything for years. Not until you came into my life.”

“Oh, my God.” She raised a trembling hand to her mouth, tears overflowing down her cheeks. "Not now, Jedidiah. Please don’t make me feel these things now.”

“Why not? You do the same thing to me.” He cupped her cheek in his good hand and brushed the teardrops away with his thumb. “You make me feel things I never thought I would ever feel again, Susannah. You make me long for things I had packed away in the back of my mind and labeled impossible. You make me think about taking a chance again.”

“A fine pair we are,” she said, trying to smile.

“Susannah.” He rested his forehead against hers. “A long time ago, I lost everything dear to me in the War Between the States. My parents died, my sister had disappeared and my fiancée was killed by Union soldiers. I had nothing left, and I decided that I would continue to have nothing so that nothing could ever be taken away from me again.”

She pulled back to look at him. “Oh, Jedidiah, I’m so sorry. That must have been awful. How old were you?”

“I was nineteen. Eventually I found my sister again, but the damage had been done. For years I’ve traveled around, able to help people with my skills but with the advantage of leaving them after the deed was done.”

“That explains why you left so abruptly last year,” she realized.

“You were getting too close,” he admitted, stroking her hair. “And Donovan. And Sarah. For the first time in a long time, I wanted to stay someplace. I got scared, so I left. But I’m not leaving now.”

“No, you’re still here,” she said with a faint smile.

“I don’t want to leave you, Susannah. But tomorrow, in Denver, I may not have a choice.”

“I know that.”

“All we have is tonight, and I want to spend it with you. I care about you, Susannah, more than I’ve ever cared about anyone in the past twenty years.”

“I care about you, too. In fact,” she continued with a deep breath for courage, “I’m in love with you.”

He opened his mouth to speak, but she placed two fingers against his lips. “I’m not asking for words or for feelings back. It’s enough for me that you wouldn’t leave me if you had a choice. But I didn’t want to go through tomorrow without you knowing how I feel.”

“You’re so brave,” he said with quiet admiration. “You aren’t afraid to live, to feel, to face the unknown of tomorrow. In a lot of ways, you’re much more courageous than I am.”

“It’s not easy to admit how you feel to a person,” Susannah said tenderly. “Even if you hadn’t been hurt, there’s always the chance of rejection. I admire you, Jedidiah, for having the courage to tell me that you care. It means a lot to me.”

He pulled her into a one-armed embrace, burying his face in her fragrant hair. “I wish we had more time.”

“We’ve got tonight. And I want to spend it with you, Jedidiah.”

“I want to show you how I feel,” he said. “When you’re standing up in front of that courtroom, I want you to remember tonight and to know that I love you.”

A sob escaped her. “Oh, my God.”

He smiled, his eyes uncertain. “Hell. I said it, didn’t I?”

“You certainly did.” She hugged him hard, burying her face in his neck. “And I can face anything, knowing that you love me.”

He stroked a hand over her hair. “Letting you go tomorrow will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done,” he whispered.

“No regrets,” she said, tilting her head back to look at him. "Let’s make this night perfect.”

“Yes,” he agreed, then took her mouth in a sweet, lingering kiss.

Everything seemed to slow to the steady rhythm of a heartbeat. Every touch meant something more than a means to arouse, every kiss spoke of words of love and a longing that tomorrow would never come.

He pulled the ribbons from her hair so it fell like spun moonlight over her shoulders. She opened his shirt one button at a time, following the path of her fingers with her mouth. His heart pounded against her lips as she pressed soft, loving kisses to his chest.

They touched as if they had never touched before, lingering over caresses designed to stimulate the senses. When he discarded his sling, she peeled the shirt from his body, marveling at his strength, making a soft noise of dismay at the bandage wrapped around his upper arm.

“It’s nothing,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. “What hurts more is my need to be inside you. I love you, Susannah.” He gave her a lop-sided grin. “Maybe if I say it enough times, I’ll get used to it.”

“You can say it a hundred times, and I’ll never get used to how you make me feel,” she replied. “Let me show you.”

He inhaled sharply as she pressed a soft kiss to the bandage, one delicate hand tracing his sensitive nipple.

“I want to make love to you tonight,” she whispered against his skin, pressing her tongue to the pulse that thundered at the base of his throat. “Let me love you, Jedidiah.”

“Anything,” was his husky response.

She took his hand and led him to the bed, pushing against his bare chest until he sat on the edge. Then she knelt at his feet to tug off his boots.

It was en erotic sight. As she bent forward, her breasts plumped forward above the neckline of her pink dress, and her long hair spilled over his legs as she struggled with his boot.

“As much as I’m enjoying the view,” he drawled as she struggled with his boot, “it might be easier if you turned around. Straddle my leg and pull the boot with both hands.”

“All right.” Smiling gamely, she lifted her skirts, exposing a pretty length of shapely calves, then stepped over his outstretched leg so that she straddled it. She bent forward to grab the boot. Her new position offered him an arousing view of her shapely backside that sent a sharp dart of lust through him as he remembered their lovemaking that morning. Slowly, he lifted his other leg, braced it against that firm bottom, and pushed. She stumbled forward, taking his boot with her. Cheeks flushed with victory, she grinned at him and tossed his boot aside, then got into position to repeat the action for the other boot.

By the time she stripped his socks off his feet, he was hard and desperate to be inside her.

But Susannah was having none of it. When he reached for her, she smiled like a siren and shoved him backwards on the bed. He would have protested, except she reached for the fastenings of his pants. The feel of her fingers against his belly made him groan with need, and he fell back obediently, letting her have her way with him.

Susannah smiled as she tugged the rest of the clothes from his body. He was such a beautiful man. Though she knew he was almost forty, his body was as long, lean, and muscled as a man ten years younger. Broad shoulders, a slim waist, slender hips. His legs were long, his thighs roped with muscle from sitting astride a horse for long hours. And his feet were long and narrow. Kneeling between his legs, she traced a finger along the bottom of his foot, surprised to find the skin there so soft. He jerked and she giggled.

“Ticklish, Jedidiah?” she teased.

“You want to tickle something, sweetheart? I’ll give you one guess at a better place than that.”

She knew what he meant. Curious, she reached out and stroked her hand down the hard length of his erect shaft. It twitched as she touched it, startling her. But then she became fascinated with the hardness beneath the velvety texture of his skin, the delicate drop of moisture that beaded at the tip, the rough-skinned pouch that tightened at her tentative touch. From the way his fists clenched on the bed, she knew he was sensitive here. She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his belly.

“Jesus, Susannah,” he hissed with an indrawn breath.

Heady with power, overflowing with love, she drew her hands slowly up his thighs to cup his manhood between her fingers. He jerked and arched his hips as she explored this new territory.

“Tell me what you like,” she whispered.

The words all but made his eyes roll back in his head. He knew what he wanted her to do, but she was inexperienced, and he didn’t want to shock her. Instead, he sat up on his elbows. The sight of her kneeling between his thighs with his erection cupped in her pale, delicate fingers almost sent him over the edge right there and then.

“Take off your clothes,” he said instead. “I want to see you.”

Her eyes grew dark with emotion. Slowly she stood and reached for the buttons of her dress. Her gaze never left his as she removed each article of clothing one at a time, drawing out every movement until he was surprised he wasn’t foaming at the mouth. When she was naked, he reached for her, guiding her down to the bed with him so they lay skin to skin, nothing hidden.

Facing each other, their mouths met in a leisurely kiss, hands gliding over each other’s flesh, seeking to tease, to stimulate, to glory in simply being together.

He cupped her breasts one at a time with his good hand, kneading the soft globes as he tenderly suckled at one, and then the other. She fisted her hands in his hair and made sweet soft sounds in the back of her throat. Her thighs slid over his, tucking his aching manhood between them as they sought to linger over the pleasure of exciting each other.

When his shoulder started to ache, he rolled onto his back, tugging her with him so that she straddled him. Then he shocked her by wrapping his arm around her hips and placing an intimate kiss on the soft folds between her thighs. She grabbed at the headboard of the bed as he pleasured her with lips and tongue, and when the orgasm exploded through her, she cried out his name.

As the ripples faded, he shifted her sated body over his and sank into her, his penetration rekindling the echoes of her satisfaction, and when he took her nipple in his mouth, she climaxed all over again.

They couldn’t get enough of each other. Throughout the night, they made love, then dozed, then woke to make love again. There were no limits, no inhibitions. They learned each other through soft words and deeds, curious touches and experimental kisses. Toward dawn, they lay in each other’s arms, longing to make love yet again, their bodies exhausted though their spirits were willing. In the end, they simply lay in contented silence, communicating through tender caresses that meant “I love you” as the first rays of dawn crept over the horizon.

Chapter Nineteen

Morning came, though it was late morning by the time Jedidiah awoke.

The echoes of the night had not yet faded, and he leaned on his good elbow, watching Susannah sleep beside him. It seemed right that he should wake up beside her. Like something that should happen every day.

But today was the day they had to leave for Denver. Their time had run out.

Suddenly furious, he sat up, wincing as the abrupt movement jostled his wounded arm. It wasn’t fair. Had he dared to love again, only to lose her so soon?

Twenty years ago, Fate had ripped away almost all he held dear, and he had sworn never to be hurt like that again. Yet here he was, in the same situation all over again. Was he going to calmly sit on the sidelines and wait for Fate to snatch away the first woman he had ever truly loved?

To hell with that.

He had to take a stand. He had to face down destiny and steal what time there was. He would not let Fate have the upper hand this time.

But how could he keep her safe? Once they arrived in Denver, the authorities would take her away, and he would have no more rights to her. In their eyes, his job would be done.

Unless he married her.

Impossible! The practical side of him rejected the idea immediately. It was a clear conflict of interest. He would be putting his job on the line—perhaps he would even lose his badge. He couldn’t step so far over the boundary.

But could he stand back and let Susannah face what was coming all alone?

If he married her, he would have all the rights of a husband. He could continue to be with her through the ordeal ahead and all the years afterward.

He needed time to think.

Slipping from the bed, he gathered his clothes. He would take a walk, go see how Caldwell had spent the night, perhaps telegram his superiors and feel out the situation.

There had to be a way he could have Susannah and keep his job as well. And he would find it.

It was nearly noon when Jedidiah walked into the office of Sheriff Ransom MacElroy.

And into a battle zone.

“I demand you release my nephew to my custody immediately!” The commanding bellow shook the tiny structure. A cluster of well-dressed gentlemen crowded around the sheriff’s desk, the most vocal of whom was a tall older man with a mane of flowing silver hair. None of them had noticed Jedidiah’s entrance, so he leaned in the doorway and listened.