The Laws of Attraction (15 page)

But the instant she put the kayak in the water, the memory of the first day she’d taken it out came flooding back to her. She pulled the paddle out of the water and let the tears she’d held back earlier come flooding out. They were hot and endless, proving that it wasn’t going to be half as easy to put Josh behind her as she’d hoped.

Her tears eventually slowed to a sad trickle, and she was drifting when he pulled alongside her in his rowboat.

“Ashley?” There was an unmistakable note of worry in his voice.

She wanted to disappear. She didn’t want him to know that he’d caused her one second of anguish. “Go away.”

“Not with you floating around fifty feet from shore crying your eyes out. I could hear you from a hundred yards away.”

Embarrassment turned her cheeks red. She’d had no idea she was sobbing so noisily. “I’m not crying over you,” she said, feeling it vital not to let him think she was.

“Never thought you were,” he said, though his lips quirked just a little.

“And I don’t need you to rescue me.”

“Of course not,” he agreed. “I’ll just stick close by, in case the waterworks get out of hand again and the kayak starts filling with water. Doesn’t take much to swamp a little thing like that.”

She finally lifted her gaze to meet his and wiped away the traces of tears on her cheeks. “Not going to happen,” she said fiercely. “See, dry-eyed. You can go now.”

He looked as if he wanted to say something more, but eventually he merely nodded. “Okay, then. I’ll see you around.”

She held on to the paddle until her knuckles turned white as she waited for him to disappear from view.

Oh, yeah, it was obvious she could handle bumping into him, she thought with self-derision. She’d all but come unglued just at the sound of his voice. A part of her had wanted to dive over into that rowboat so she could fling herself into his arms. Given that he was just as furious with her as she was with him, that could only have come to a bad end. It was entirely possible he’d have tossed her straight overboard. Just because he’d been worried finding her drifting along on the water didn’t mean he was any more ready to forgive her than she was to forgive him. He would have done the same for anyone, because that’s who he was…a nice guy.

Well, she didn’t need his concern. Or his sympathy. Or his pity. In fact, the last would be unbearable.

Which meant she had to get over him. Right now. A nearly hysterical sob rose up. Sure, like she could snap her fingers and make that happen.

Much as she hated to admit it, she was probably way too much like her sisters. Once she gave away her heart, which she’d apparently done without giving it a conscious thought, it was all but impossible to take it back.

Josh hadn’t wanted to feel a damn thing when he’d spotted Ashley out in that ridiculous kayak that she didn’t know how to handle. He’d wanted to turn around and row away before she even knew he was around, but the instant he’d heard her sobs, his heart had flipped over. He hadn’t been able to make himself leave, not without assuring himself that she would be okay. He figured his appearance alone would snap her out of it, and it had up to a point.

Making her mad had accomplished the rest well enough. He knew she’d hate his pity, so he’d done his best to act solicitous and sympathetic, knowing that she would place the worst possible spin on that and assume it was based on pity. What he’d wanted to do was to haul her into his boat and into his arms. That wasn’t a good idea for either of them right now.

He figured he’d eventually get over his own hurt feelings, but first he had to understand how he’d allowed her opinion to matter so much. He had a feeling it went back to those days when he’d known she was out of reach and he’d felt inadequate.

This afternoon, for the first time since they’d met as adults, she’d made him feel inadequate all over again. To have that happen after being so close to her had ripped all of his hard-earned self-confidence apart. It was like discovering indescribable joy only to have it snatched away because he didn’t measure up in some way that couldn’t be changed.

He arrived back at Idylwild in time to hear the phone ringing. He managed to grab it before it stopped.

“Hello,” he said breathlessly.

“Josh, I thought you were in better shape,” Stephanie teased. “Or have I called at a bad time?”

“Very funny. What’s up?”

“You’re making my father very unhappy,” she said. “And the worst of it is, he’s blaming me.”

“You? Why?”

“Because I won’t bend to his will and come chasing after you,” she said dryly. “He’s sure we can work out all the pesky things bothering us and eventually find our way to the altar, after all.”

“That just shows how stubborn he is,” Josh said. “He’s obviously not listening to either one of us. At least I assume you’ve told him the same thing I have, that we’re not right for each other.”

“I’ve tried,” she said, “but you know my father. He ignores anything that doesn’t agree with his view of the world.”

“Then what do you suggest?”

“Come back to Richmond. We see him together and present a united front, so he can’t dismiss this as some silly misunderstanding. Maybe then he’ll get it and get off my case. Otherwise I’m afraid any other man I bring around will be doomed. Dad will only compare them to you and find them lacking.”

Josh laughed. “Is there a compliment in there somewhere?”

“You are a tough act to follow, Josh. There’s no question about it.” She hesitated. “Did you need reminding of that for some reason?”

“As a matter of fact, I did,” he said. “If it’ll help you out, I’ll come back to go with you to see your father.” In that instant he made up his mind about something else that had been weighing on him. “But I have to warn you, Steph, I intend to quit while I’m there.”

“Oh, jeez,” she said with an exaggerated moan. “Can you at least wait till I get out of town?”

“Afraid not.”

“Out of the room?”

“I can do that,” he promised, smiling.

“What are your plans?” she asked him.

“I’m going to move down here and open up a practice,” he said decisively. “It’s what I should have done from the beginning. I’m not cut out for the barracuda pool.”

“No, you’re not,” she agreed. “You have the talent, but not the bloodlust. That’s one of the things I like most about you.”

“I think that could be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” Josh told her.

“Oh, I’m sure I said a few more flattering things from time to time,” she teased, then turned serious. “Are we okay, Josh? Can we go on being friends? I’d miss that a lot.”

“Absolutely. You’re the best one I have.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Is she worth it?”

His heart lurched. “Is who worth it?”

“Whoever you’re moving down there to be with. There has to be a woman involved.”

Josh sighed. He saw no point in denying it. “I thought she was.”

“Has she done something to change your mind? Has she hurt you?” Stephanie demanded indignantly.

“Whoa, girl! You don’t need to swoop down here to protect me.”

“I will, you know.”

“I know and I’m grateful.”

“So are you sure this a good time for you to get away? I don’t want to mess up whatever you have going on.”

“Actually, your timing couldn’t be better,” he told her honestly. A day or two away might allow the dust to settle.

“Then when will you come down here to see my father?”

“Is tomorrow okay? We might as well get this over with.”

“I’ll set up lunch at the club,” Stephanie told him. “He’ll be much more mellow after a Scotch, a steak and a cigar.”

“Mellow or dead,” Josh said wryly. “He needs to quit all of those things.”

“Which I’ve told him repeatedly, but since he hasn’t, I intend to use them to my advantage,” she said, sounding decidedly chipper. “See you tomorrow at noon.”

Josh hung up, then went to stare out the same window where he’d found Ashley earlier. Had it only been that morning? He felt as if an eternity had gone by. He waited to see if he would catch a glimpse of her on the water, but she didn’t appear.

He wondered how she would take the news that he was relocating, or if it would even matter to her. Probably not. He couldn’t let her reaction matter to him, either. This was the right thing to do. He’d known it the
minute he’d uttered the words to Stephanie. For the first time in months, he honestly felt as if his future were on the right track.

Now if only he had the right woman by his side.

W
hen Josh stopped for coffee on his way out of town, he ran into Mike and Rick. He hesitated at the café door, but they spotted him before he could turn right around and leave. Reluctantly, he went to join them. He had a hunch they were going to want to get into things he had no intention of discussing.

“Going somewhere important?” Mike asked, noting the unaccustomed suit Josh was wearing.

“I have a meeting in Richmond,” Josh admitted, figuring that was safe enough ground.

“Big case?” Rick asked.

“Nope, my boss and his daughter, the woman he expected me to marry.”

Both men regarded him with amazement. “And you’re walking into that willingly?”

“Eagerly, in fact,” he told them. “Stephanie and I intend to convince her father that we would have made each other miserable, then I intend to quit my job. It’s not going to be a great morning for Creighton Williams. He doesn’t like being thwarted when he has things all planned out.”

“Isn’t he the lawyer who cuts the opposition into itty-bitty pieces at trial?” Mike asked worriedly.

“The very one.”

“You’re a braver man than I,” Mike said.

“It has to be done,” Josh told them. “Then I’ll be free to come back here and open a practice.”

“Does anyone else know about this?” Rick asked.

“If by anyone you mean Ashley, the answer is no. We’re not exactly on speaking terms these days. This has nothing to do with her. It’s a decision I should have made years ago, but I was blinded by dollar signs.”

“Mind if I ask why you think this doesn’t affect Ashley?” Mike inquired.

Josh regarded him with surprise. “You don’t know?”

“Not me,” Mike said. He turned to Rick. “You?”

“Haven’t heard a word,” Rick confirmed.

Josh wasn’t sure what to make of that. He’d been sure Ashley would run to her sisters with the tale of how he’d betrayed her. Maybe she’d been too embarrassed that she’d missed something so obvious about the man she was sleeping with.

“Bottom line, she found out I was a lawyer before I could tell her.” He gave them a rueful smile. “You underestimated her fury. Then I discovered that she’d assumed I did some sort of menial, undemanding labor and that it suited her just fine, because that made me
safe, since she couldn’t possibly fall in love with someone with so little ambition.”

“Safe and unambitious?” Mike said, his expression puzzled. He glanced at Rick, then back toward Josh. “Is that as demeaning as it sounds?”

“I certainly thought it was,” Josh said. “Things pretty much went downhill from there.”

“Yet you’re coming back here to go into practice,” Rick said. “Why?”

“Because it will give me the chance to practice the kind of law I always wanted to practice, helping regular folks with the things that matter to them, instead of big corporations that only want to get bigger.”

“And you honestly don’t see Ashley anywhere in this picture?” Mike asked.

Josh hesitated. He didn’t want to admit just how badly he wanted her to be a part of it, not after what had happened between them. What would it say about him that he was willing to grovel to make it happen? Bottom line, though, she had to discover on her own exactly how well-suited they were and that they could be professional as well as emotional partners.

“You can admit it, pal,” Rick teased eventually. “We won’t think any less of you. We’ve both been there. The D’Angelo women are worth whatever it takes to keep them.”

Josh was surprised by Rick’s understanding. “You don’t think I’m an idiot for wanting her, even after she proved how little respect she had for me?”

“Personally, I think you’re looking at it all wrong,” Mike said. “I think it’s a testament to how much she respected you that she overlooked what she was sure
were your shortcomings and fell in love with you anyway.”

It was an interesting spin, but that’s all it was. Even so, Josh desperately wanted to believe him. “You think so?”

Rick grinned. “If that’s the interpretation that gets you through this impasse, then hang on to it for dear life. Pride’s a mighty cold bedfellow.”

Josh nodded slowly. “I’ll keep that in mind. Now I’d better hit the road, so I can get this over with. I can’t have much of a future, if I don’t deal with the past once and for all.”

“Good luck,” they both told him as he scooted out of the booth.

“Thanks.” He wasn’t going to need it, though. It was an image of the prize at the end of it all—the albeit slim possibility of a future with Ashley—that was going to get him through today.

“Are you seeing the big picture here?” Maggie asked when Ashley told her the whole story about discovering that Josh was an attorney with a firm in Richmond that was so influential she’d heard about it all the way in Boston.

“He lied to me,” Ashley said flatly. She didn’t want to hear her sister’s spin on that. The lying was the only thing that mattered. “How can trust flourish when one person lies about something so basic? And without trust, what kind of relationship can we possibly have?”

“Maybe it was a lie. Maybe not,” Maggie said anyway. “Josh said he was here to think about what he wants, the same as you have been. Haven’t you wrestled with that on your own without asking for his input?”

“I suppose, but that hasn’t stopped him from giving it to me,” Ashley grumbled.

“But my point is,” Maggie continued as if Ashley hadn’t said a word, “this just gives you something more in common besides the great sex.”

“Who said the sex was great?” Ashley retorted irritably.

“You did. Besides, if it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be so rattled by all of this,” her sister said confidently. “You’d write him off, finish making up your mind about what you want to do for the rest of your life and then get on with it. Have you thought about that, by the way? Or has the issue that brought you running down here taken a back seat to your feelings for Josh? If so, what does that say about your priorities these days?”

The truth was she hadn’t thought about anything except Josh for days now. Since everyone around her knew it, she might as well admit it. “No,” she responded testily. “My priorities have gotten a little confused. That’s all the more reason to forget about Josh and get back to what’s important.”

“There is nothing more important than love,” Maggie said. “A very wise older sister once told me that.”

“Must have been someone else,” Ashley insisted sourly.

“Come on, Ashley, admit it,” Maggie chided. “Doesn’t it tell you something that your priorities have changed since you came here? You’ve actually found someone who’s more important to you than work.”

“He’s not,” Ashley said fiercely. “I won’t let him be.”

Maggie laughed. “Too late, sweetie. You don’t get to control everything, you know. Some things just are. Love is one of them.”

“I will not be in love with Josh.” She said it with more wistfulness than conviction. Naturally her sister picked right up on that.

“Good luck with that one,” Maggie replied. “Keep me posted.”

Ashley scowled at her. “I can still go back to Boston. In fact, that was exactly what I intended to do as soon as I talked to Josh night before last. Then one thing sort of led to another, I wound up spending the night there and then yesterday morning I stumbled across this little bombshell.”

“Why did you come here today?” Maggie asked. “Why didn’t you just leave for Boston? What’s keeping you here?”

“I wish to hell I knew.” She gave Maggie a bemused look. “God, I hate this uncertainty. I used to know how to make quick, clean decisions and live with the consequences.”

Maggie laughed. “Tell me something I don’t know about you.” She gave Ashley a penetrating look. “Why are you confused? Seems to me if you’re really through with Josh, if you really think he’s a pig, then there’s no reason to stick around.”

“Logically, you’re right,” Ashley admitted.

“But logic has nothing to do with it, sweetie. Josh suddenly seems more suitable, now that you know he’s a lawyer, doesn’t he?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “That’s part of it.”

“Do you realize just how shallow that sounds?”

“Yes,” she said miserably. “Believe me, he called me on it, too.”

“You still haven’t answered my question. Do you
want to go back to Boston as much right now as you did when you first found out? Or do you want to stay and fight for what you could have with a good, decent guy who happens to love you?”

“I like it here,” she admitted, still a little stunned by that fact. Even in the throes of discovering that Josh had lied to her, she’d realized how much she would miss him and Rose Cottage. That realization had changed everything. In fact, it had left her torn. It had ruined the cold logic she usually used when analyzing her lists.

“Then stay,” Maggie said as if the decision were easy.

“It’s not that simple. I like being here with Josh, and maybe we could get past this monumental lie or omission or whatever, but Josh doesn’t live here, or have you forgotten that?”

“I haven’t forgotten anything,” Maggie said calmly. “Not even the fact that D’Angelo women fight the hardest when they’re about to go down for the count.”

Rick wandered in just then and overheard them. “Guess you haven’t heard,” he said, picking up an apple and biting into it.

“Heard what?” Maggie prodded.

“Josh is gone.”

Ashley felt her heart tumble straight to her toes. “He’s gone? Where? Back to Richmond?”

“Uh-huh. I spoke to him this morning right before he took off.”

“I see,” Ashley said, her voice flat. It really was over then. He hadn’t stuck around to fight for her. That hurt a hell of a lot more than she’d expected it to.

“Not sure you do,” Rick said, a surprising twinkle in his eyes.

Maggie gave him an impatient look. “If you have something to say, spit it out. This is not the time for games.”

He looked unrepentant. “I thought maybe it was. Seems to me that your sister’s reaction was very telling.” He turned to Ashley. “You felt as if the wind had been knocked out of you, didn’t you?”

She stared at him with a narrowed gaze. “Your point?”

“That you’re in love with the man.”

“Well, of course, she is,” Maggie said.

“I am not,” Ashley said, but without much conviction. “Okay, of course I am. Admitting that does me a fat lot of good when he’s gone back to Richmond.”

“You could go after him,” Rick suggested, then added slyly, “Or you could wait till he gets back tomorrow.”

The sudden pounding of Ashley’s heart told her everything she needed to know. “He’s coming back?” she asked, trying to keep the hope out of her voice. It was humiliating how badly she wanted to have another chance.

Rick nodded. “He went down there to quit his job. He’s decided this is where he wants to live.”

Maggie scowled at him. “And why did he confide all this to you, rather than Ashley?”

“Because we were there,” Rick said simply. “Besides, the way I hear it, they aren’t speaking.”

“Where?” Ashley asked, ignoring the comment about the lack of communication between her and Josh at the moment.

“At the café. He had breakfast this morning with Mike and me.”

“And he thought you should be the first to know about this important, life-altering decision? Guess that shows where I fit in,” Ashley said.

“Hey,” Rick protested. “I thought you women were all in favor of us bonding with him and pumping him for information.”

“You’re supposed to share it,” Maggie reminded him impatiently.

He stared at her. “I just did. Was I supposed to call on my cell phone from the café? You know the damn thing never works.”

“Okay, you two,” Ashley scolded. “Play nice. I won’t have you fighting because of me and my problems.”

“Sounds to me like you don’t have any problems,” Maggie said, suddenly more cheerful. “Josh is coming back. You can make things right with him, if that’s what you want. Is it?”

“He’s furious with me, too,” she reminded her sister. “He might not want to make things right.” She glanced at Rick, to see if he’d admit to any insights on this point, but he was suddenly silent.

“Oh, no,” Maggie scoffed. “He’s just giving up his thriving law practice with a prestigious Richmond firm so he can be near the water.”

“Actually, that’s exactly it,” Rick said.

Maggie frowned at him. “You’re not helping.”

Ashley turned to Rick. “It has nothing at all to do with me?”

“How could it? He doesn’t know what you intend to do.”

Her spirits sank. “I see.”

Maggie gave her a hard hug. “Stop it. You look as if
it’s over. It’s not. You have a second chance. You just have to grab it the minute he gets back to town.”

Ashley nodded slowly. Her pride was screaming that Josh ought to make the first move. She’d try to tell her pride to shut up and be reasonable, but the reality was that she usually let it rule her decisions. Wasn’t it pride that had made her scurry out of Boston just when she should have stayed there with her head held high? Her uncharacteristic retreat had probably only fueled the media frenzy she’d left in her wake.

She made a decision of her own then. “I have something I need to do,” she told Maggie and Rick, gathering up her purse and the jacket she’d worn over.

“What?” Maggie asked.

“I’m going home.”

“Home?”

She nodded. “To Boston. There are some things I need to take care of.”

Her sister’s gaze narrowed. “But you’ll be back?”

“In a few days.”

Rick looked completely confused. “What should I tell Josh if he asks?”

Ashley and Maggie both turned to him at once. “Stay out of it!” they said in a chorus.

He frowned at both of them. “Is it any wonder men don’t understand women? You keep changing the blasted rules on us.”

Ashley gave her brother-in-law a kiss on the cheek. “Stick around, pal. You’ll get the hang of it eventually. I can see your potential. Obviously Maggie can, too, or she wouldn’t have married you.”

“Small consolation,” he grumbled, but he pulled
Maggie into his arms and kissed her so thoroughly it made Ashley’s mouth go dry.

“I’m out of here,” she said hurriedly.