To Gird's surprise, some bartons now wanted to march out looking for patrols to fight. He reminded them of the dead and wounded, the village destroyed. But this was the first time that his people had fought, in military formation, against their old enemies, and they were elated.
"I can't see why you aren't happier about it," Felis said. "It worked, just as you said it would. Losses, yes: you had warned us, no war without deaths, without wounded. We understand that. But it worked. If we keep drilling, keep working, we can stand against them. And there are more of us; the numbers are on our side."
"I am happy." Even to himself, Gird did not sound happy, and he knew it. "I am—I just see the other side. Felis, we have only one real chance: we have to do it
all
, and do it right, because if we don't, then everyone who dies has died for nothing."
"It's not for nothing; it's for freedom." Felis scratched his sunburnt nose, and stalked around a moment before coming back to plant himself in front of Gird. "Look—you found a way for us to stand against their weapons and their training. It worked. Not even with the best of us, who've been training years now, but with one barton so new they hardly knew their left feet from their right. If you can do it with that, you can do it with anyone. Lady's grace, Gird, the day you walked into our camp I wouldn't believe you could get my men to pick up their own filth. But you did. What's wrong now?"
Gird could not answer. He knew, as he knew the ache in his bones, that it was not that easy. It could not be that easy. But they needed him to say it was, to cheer them on, to give the simple answer he knew was not enough. He felt himself resisting, as he had once or twice when the steward put pressure on him, as if he were a tree, rooting himself deep in the ground. The one thing he knew, the one thing he had to give, was his own certainty when he was right—and if he did not know he was right, he could not say it.
Felis, he could see, did not like his expression or that refusal to rejoice in their victory. Nor did others, who visibly damped their own glee when he was around. He should do it—but when he opened his mouth, stretched it in a smile, nothing came out.
We won,
he told himself, and the depths of his mind, cautious as any farmer to the last, said
We won that time.
He was not even sure what it would take to win, in the way he meant win, in the way that would bring lasting peace. He threw himself into more planning, trying to calculate how many yeomen they had by now, and where, and trying to picture the larger country in which his war would now take place. A few soldiers had defected, men ordered to burn their own villages, or seize their own relatives, men who faced in adulthood what Gird had faced as a boy. They knew more of tactics than he did, and insisted that he had to have support in the towns, as well as the farms.
Meanwhile, the conflicts continued. Another ambush, and another. A guard encampment attacked at night; another village burned, and its fields torched. Like it or not, ready or not, it was on him; he must fly on that wind, or be left behind. Gird drove himself and those he knew best, traveling far to meet the yeoman-marshals of other bartons, to speak to those who were not sure, who were afraid. By autumn, he was moving far beyond the villages and fields he knew best, trusting those he had trained to keep his own group working, to find a safe wintering. This next year would see whole villages rise—even before planting time—and he had to be ready to lead his army in the field.
Something rasped, in the dry winter bushes, a sound too small for a cry, too great for a wild thing slipping away. Gird crouched, stock still, wondering whether to run now or investigate. It could be—it was probably—a trap. Someone had talked, and the town guard were out here to catch him. The sound came again, and with it another, like a sob choked down. Trickery, it would be. They were trying to lure him that way. But even as he thought this, he was moving, carefully as he might, threading his way through the prickly stiff brush.
In the gloom, he nearly stepped on the naked, bruised body that lay curled on its side. He stooped, after a hard look around that showed nothing but more brush. A man, an old man with thin gray hair and beard. One eye had been gouged out; the other showed only bloodshot white behind an enormous bruise. The man's pale skin bore many bruises, scratches where the bushes had torn at him, whip marks on his back, burns on his hands and feet. Yet he was alive, his breathing unsteady and loud, but strong enough, and he had a steady pulse at his neck.
Gird squatted on his heels, considering. It was already cold, and would be colder with full night. An old man, beaten and burned, missing an eye—he'd likely die by morning, left here with no covering and no care. But inside the town, the barton waited. Even now they'd be gathering, waiting for him, waiting for the hope that only he could bring. And the old man might die anyway. Gird touched the old man's shoulder, then wished he hadn't, for the bloodshot eye opened.
"No . . ." breathed a tremulous voice.
"You're safe," said Gird, knowing he lied, but not what else to say.
"Cold . . ." came a murmur.
"It's all right." His mind went back to his own home, the times he'd teased one of the women for that soothing "It's all right," when it wasn't. He could understand that now. It didn't make things all right. With a gusty sigh—too loud a sigh, he thought instantly: it would carry in the quiet twilight—Gird stripped to the waist and laid his shirt, sweaty as it was, on the old man's body. He had to have his dark jerkin for later . . . but he could spare the shirt.
"I'll help you," he said, and put his arm under the old man's shoulder. Groaning, and obviously trying to smother it, the old man managed to get his arms into Gird's shirt.
"You—should not—"
"I can't leave you here to die," said Gird. He couldn't help it that the words came out harsh, not comforting. He was late, and he was going to be later yet, and if he had to climb in over the wall, he was very likely to be seen.
"Who?" Now wrapped in the shirt, the old man had recovered scraps of his dignity; he asked with little volume but much authority. Gird chose to misunderstand the question.
"Who beat you? I don't know; I just found you. You don't remember?"
The old man held up his hands—longfingered, graceful hands, for all the ugly burns—and said softly, "Esea's light be with you, the High Lord's justice come to you, the Lady of Peace lay her hand on your brow—" He paused, as Gird scrambled back, careless of noise. "What's wrong?"
"Don't curse me!" It was hardly louder than the old man's murmur, but the anger in it carried.
"Curse you?" The old man chuckled, a breathy sound much like the whuffling of a horse. "Lad, it's a
blessing
—I'm giving you my blessing. Don't you know that much?"
Gird shifted uneasily. "What I know is, the longer we stay here, the likelier well be seen. Whoever beat you—"
"The senior priest at Esea's hall," said the old man. He was sitting up on his own, now, looking with apparently idle curiosity at the burns on his feet. "He called me a heretic, and held what he would call a trial by fire. I call that torture, but the law permits it. And as I lived still when he was done, they stripped and beat me and threw me off the wall."
"You should be dead!" said Gird, and then reddened, realizing how it sounded.
The old man chuckled again. "That's what the high priest said, in other words—that I should be dead, for the harm I'd done and might do, and he did his best. The gods, however, sent you—" He reached around, in the gathering darkness, as if groping for a staff, then stretched his hand to Gird. "Here, then. Help me up."
"But you can't—"
"I can't lie here in the cold in your shirt. Come now—give me your hand. It's not so bad as you think." Gird reached out, and felt the man's hand slide into his. It was bony, as old hands are, with loose skin over the knuckles, but stronger than he expected. And he could not feel, against his own horny palm, the crusted burns he expected. The old man staggered once, then stood, peering about. "Ah—" he said finally. "There they are." Gird looked, and saw nothing but the chest-high bushes disappearing into evening gloom. "If you will wait," the old man said, more command than request, and he plunged into the tangle without making a sound. Gird waited, although he was definitely going to have to climb the wall. The barton would be wondering if he'd been caught.
When the old man came back, he had a very dirty ragged garment slung around his shoulders, over Gird's shirt, and some kind of covering on his feet. It looked, in that light, much like the rags peasants wore wrapped around their feet in winter, when they had nothing better.
"Now, lad," he said, far more briskly than Gird would have thought possible. "Now we can go into town without fear."
Gird opened his mouth to argue, but instead found himself retracing his path through the bushes, the old man's hand clenched firmly on his elbow. The old man's other hand held Gird's staff. Without fear? Did the old man plan to ask the gate guards to let them in, when he'd been beaten and left for dead? What was he?
When they came to the gates, the postern was still open, and the last few townspeople were hurrying in. A row of torches burned brightly, lighting their faces for the guards to see. Gird tried to shy aside, into the shadows, but the old man's hand forced him to walk right up the middle of the trade road, into that golden light. He thought frantically how he could get out of this without alerting the guards, and glanced sideways at the old man.
In torchlight, the old man looked altogether different. Smaller, crook-backed, with a dry seamed scar where his eye had been, not the red dripping socket Gird had seen. Almost bald on top, and a wisp of pure white at his chin, a patched leather cape over a rough wool shirt (and it doesn't even look like my shirt, thought Gird), patched leather breeches on bowed legs, feet indeed wrapped in dirty rags. He leaned on Gird's arm, and the staff, as if his legs could hardly bear his weight.
"Ho, there!" One of the guards stepped forward, lifting a torch to peer at their faces. "And who be you, coming in so late—don't know your face!"
Gird opened his mouth, and found a name in it. "Amis of Barle's village, m'lord, and m'father's father Geris, come to pilgrimage at th'shrine."
"Should've come earlier; the gate's closed to outsiders."
At this the old man mewled, an infantile wail of misery and disappointment. The guard grinned, insolent but not unkind. "Never seen anyone needed a miracle more, and that's a fact. Got any honey to sweeten the sib, Amis of Barle's?"
"Honey, m'lord?" Gird let his jaw hang down stupidly, and patted his "grandfather's" hand. "We's no bees, m'lord, that's for them's got orchard trees. But we's barley-cake—" He fished in his jerkin for the stale end of barley cake he'd saved from breakfast, and offered it. Whatever was going on, he was supposed to pretend stupidity and meekness. The guardsman looked at him, long and steady, then pushed it back. "If that's all you've had, coming in from so far, keep it. Now, gransire, we've had an upset today, and I'll have to see your hands before you enter."
"Hands?" asked Gird before he thought. The one on his arm squeezed hard, hard as a strong young man, and released him. The guard nodded.
"In case a thief tries to sneak back in," he said. "He's hand-branded, that one, and we're to look at all strangers, especially those with one eye gone. I'm sure your gransire isn't the thief, but I must look." And he took each of the old man's knotted hands, and looked at the palm. So did Gird—and saw nothing but old pink skin, marked by heavy work. The guard jerked his chin up. "Get on in, fellow, you and your gransire, and be sure you're not up to any mischief this night. Beggars' steps on the winter side of Hall, and no laying up in someone's doorway."
"Thanks, m'lord." Gird found himself pulling his forelock before he thought of it, and edged by the guard with care for his companion.
Once through the town's wall, the old man used his grip of Gird's elbow to guide him toward the main square. The streets were busy yet, full of people who knew exactly where to go. Gird had his own directions from the gate, but he went where the old man wanted him to—he had no choice.
In the square, a few stalls still had shutters open. A bakery, its main doors closed, sold the remnants of the day's baking out a broad window. From one stall came the sour smell of bad ale, from another the stomach-churning scent of hot oil and frying meat. Gird swallowed his hunger, and found that his tongue now responded to his own will.
"I've somewhere to go," he said gruffly. "Can you find a safe place?"
"Better than you," said the old man. "Could you have come through the gates alone?"
Gird grunted. Of course he couldn't, not that late, but if it hadn't been for the old man, he wouldn't have been that late. "I don't understand you," he said. "You were hurt, you could hardly move—"
"We can't stand here in the open talking," said the old man. "I want my supper." This last became a weak whine, suitable to the aged cripple he seemed to be, and Gird was not surprised to see a couple of guards walk by, scanning the faces as they went.
"I don't have anything but that barley cake," said Gird, and added unwillingly, as the guards paused, "Granther, you know that. It took all coppers we's got to make this trip for your eye. Here—" He fished out the barley cake, and broke it, as the guards watched. The old man took his share in a shaky hand, almost whimpering in his eagerness. A drop of spittle ran down his chin into his beard, glittering in the guards' torchlight.
"Beggars' steps over there," said one of the guards gruffly, gesturing across the square. Gird bobbed his head, hoping he looked stupid and harmless. The guards moved on, stopping to joke with the baker's lass, as she reached to close the shutters at the window. The old man touched Gird's arm, pushing him gently towards the beggars' steps.
When they sank down on the lowest of the five steps, Gird stuffed his piece of barley cake back into his jerkin, and said again "I have somewhere I must go. Can you stay here? Will they find you?"