“You do not see yourself clearly.” She
repeated a line from our first conversation of long ago.
Gavin must have made the same deal with Edna
as he had with me, because she gave me new clothes, an entire
classic and renaissance collection on an MP3 player, new pajamas
that were surprisingly skimpy, and a book on famous painters. She
shuffled over behind the tree and found her last gift. It was
covered in the tradition of homemade wrapping, which on Edna’s
mountain meant the Sunday funnies. I tore the colored newspaper off
the soft package to find the quilt that had hung on her rack for
years. Edna’s great-grandmother had made it out of scraps of dress
material when they moved into the new farmhouse in the late 1800’s.
I loved the different textiles in the Appalachian star patterns. It
was the oldest piece of history Edna owned, and meant more to me
than all the money in the world. I hugged her as tears trickled
down my face, truly touched by her thoughtfulness. I would treasure
it forever.
She laughed, and we both hugged Gavin and
thanked him for his generosity. I started to go back and sit on the
couch, but Gavin held me for a moment. His expression softened as
he grinned, pulling a long rectangle box wrapped in gold from
behind his back. Beneath the gold paper was a velveteen box that
shook as I opened it. Nestled in satin was an emerald necklace with
a thick, golden chain.
“Gavin, it’s too much!” I stammered through
tears, feeling the smooth, cool stone that almost covered my entire
palm.
He unlatched the clasp. I wrapped my hair to
one side and looked down so he could fasten it in the back. His
lips briefly touched the notch at the base my neck. The pit of my
core warmed, and I could feel his face pull into a smile as he
recognized the reaction. The emerald lay perfectly above my heart.
I let the symbolism behind that thought ring in my mind. His eyes
were molten with desire, and I had to concentrate on keeping the
blue. I kissed him and whispered, “I absolutely love it.” His
embrace tightened, and I emptied my mind, just allowing his
emotions to fill my soul. The room grew uncomfortable. I sighed,
returning to my seat between Rena and Elaine.
Rena made Tark a sculpture of the sea out of
a cobalt stone of some sort. Tark had gotten Rena a necklace and
matching ring. She and Elaine already had bracelets similar to
Edna’s on their left wrists. When I asked Rena about it, she said
it was in the elfish tradition, and Tark had given it to her long
ago; they never took them off.
Elaine and Elias had given each other their
gifts in the privacy of their own room. I could only imagine what
that could have been. Gavin raised his brow at where my thoughts
were headed, and Rena laughed at my blush.
Only one box remained, and my pulse raced as
Gavin read the tag.
I purposefully kept my shield up whenever I
worked on it or thought of it. This was the gift I was most excited
to see opened. Rena and I had filled the box with packing peanuts
so he couldn’t see it right away.
“Just what I always wanted,” he laughed, as
he lifted the lid. Instinct wrapped my mind in sky blue.
He unearthed the sculpture from its Styrofoam
tomb and held his breath. The shield weakened to a fog as I watched
him appreciate the circle that represented our energy. The love
filling me was so overwhelming, I wasn’t sure my human heart could
take it. The need to feel his emotions course through me, and then
have my energy surge back into him almost overpowered my
self-control. I hadn’t opened my mind to him since the night of the
fall festival.
Reading my thoughts while holding the
sculpture was too much, and he set it down. Gavin pulled me off the
couch and wrapped his arms around me, kissing me as if we were
alone. The sincerity simply took my breath away.
He rested his forehead on mine and took a
deep breath. “This is the best gift I have ever been given. Thank
you, my love,” he said softly. I closed my eyes; sheer peace
saturated every part of my being. Placing my hand over his heart, I
could feel him struggling as much as I was at this moment.
“You two stop that before I get the
preacher,” Edna’s mountain voice rang. I laughed, he kissed me once
more, and I took my place on the couch again. We sat in the fire’s
glow, enjoying each other’s company while music softly played in
the background.
Edna and I went to the kitchen while the rest
of the family put the gifts away. I realized we hadn’t had some
alone time in a while.
“Seeing Gavin give you that necklace reminds
me of Arthur. He gave me jewelry every year.” Her guilt glared, and
I went to her side. “Arthur never knew my bracelet was from
Michael, although he suspected there was someone else that held my
heart. He knew how I felt, but loved me anyway. When my bracelet
came off, I put it away and never wore it again. Arthur tried to
replace it every year. It was sweet … he was a good man.” Her gaze
stayed fixed on the counter.
“Edna, you have no reason to feel guilty.
Very few women ever really have the privilege to love one person;
you were blessed with two. I think it’s because your heart’s so
big.” I gently reminded; she sadly smiled.
“Would you help me to my room?” The evening’s
festivities had taken a toll on her. We held hands as I helped her
up the stairs. She had to stop half way up to catch her breath and
I decided we needed to get a doctor here tomorrow.
Edna’s sitting chamber was almost as large as
Gavin’s, but the colors were all things blue. I still hadn’t seen
her bedroom, but instinct whispered not to ask. She went to her
couch, and I sat across from her on the matching love seat. My
resolve to not bring up her physical state dissolved as the soft
glow of the lamp brought out the sallow color of her
complexion.
“Edna, will you please tell me what’s wrong?
I’m so worried. …” Her eyes darted toward the floor, and I waited.
“I’ve tried to respect your wishes and not pry, and I don’t need to
know the specifics … just let me know what I can do. Can I take you
to see someone in Charlotte?”
Edna sighed, reaching over to pat my hand.
The feeling was the embodiment of home.
“I’ve already been to a specialist, Sunny,
and there’s nothing anyone can do,” she admitted, as she smiled
with that twinkle in her cloudy blue eyes. My heart lurched; her
expression intensified.
“Nora, I believe life’s like a good book.
Time makes up the pages that will be your story. Every time your
life changes, you start a new chapter. To me, there’s nothing more
depressing than someone getting to the end of their days and
realizing they’ve only written one long, boring passage.” A single
tear fell as I looked at the best person I had ever known.
“My life’s full of many adventures, and you,
my dear, are one of my favorites. Your book started with a sad
beginning; the first section written by your father. But being who
you are, you refused to make that your theme.” Her spry eyes
twinkled as she smiled. “Your book’ll be fascinating, and I’m so
privileged to be a part of the chapter in which you discovered
happiness.”
“Sunshine, you’re getting ready to start a
new chapter, one full of love and promise. I suspect this will be
full of the best life has to offer. Understand this is how we were
meant to be. I’ve loved you for ten years now. You were destined to
be in my life, and I in yours.” I sat there silently, my heart in
my throat as I watched her tears finally spill over.
“I have helped pen the first pages of your
book, but I know you’re ready to start writing on your own. You
must be brave; you’re my fighter, Nora. I’ve been praying for
peace, having faith you will not be alone, and God has answered my
prayer.” She placed a shaky hand on my cheek, her voice intense.
“We are coming to a time in which we will leave this place and
start new chapters; our storylines will no longer intertwine. Life
is precious … don’t waste it with pettiness and pride, Sunny. Love
your Gavin as I loved Michael, and your book will be full, as mine
was meant to be. I’m writing my last pages in this life, and I am
so blessed it includes the best of my story—Michael, the mountain,
and my Nora,” she whispered. As her eyes clouded with memories,
tears continued to weave their way down her beautifully wrinkled
face.
My first instinct was to cry out. She
couldn’t die—she was all I had. I would find her the best care, and
I knew Gavin would help. We would be able to save her so she could
plant strawberries in the spring. The recognition in her expression
told that she had fulfilled her last task. She made sure I was
taken care of before she left.
“You were the light in my dark world that
gave me a path different from the one set by my father. I’ll never
forget that, and I’ll always love you.” I pressed her soft, fragile
hand to my cheek, feeling a loss I didn’t think possible. There was
a knock at the door, and I knew Gavin simply couldn’t be away from
me for one minute more.
Edna reached over, kissed my cheek, and
sighed. “I’ll get it while you get yourself together. We wouldn’t
want your Gavin to think I drug you through the hedges backwards,
now would we.” She smiled and steadied herself before shuffling to
the door.
Gavin patted Edna’s shoulder. His resolve
echoed in his face, and my heart sank. He knew all this time and
had kept it from me. His creature held me, but I was too upset with
both of them.
Why don’t we fight? What, we are going to just
give up?
My silent accusations flew across the room.
“You promised to take care of her. Remember
your commitment to me, Gavin,” she ordered. His emotions wailed
with grief.
“You have my word. I will remember my
commitment to both Michael and you,” he assured.
“Good night, Sunny. Thank you for the best
Christmas of my life. I love you,” she said. She kissed my cheek
once more, and then quietly went in her room and shut the door.
As we walked to the third floor, I was
fighting being truly angry with Gavin. He knew she was sick, she
was going to die, and he didn’t do anything about it. Was he not
Keeper of the Mountain? He once said he could heal all of the
mountain’s creatures. Well if Edna wasn’t a creature of the
mountain, then I didn’t know what was. How could he keep this from
me? My mind whirred and raced as I hurled accusation after
accusation at him. By the time we got in the room, I was furious.
His creature never left me, his emotions stayed calm.
Aren’t you going to say anything?
I
huffed.
“You have every right to be angry, Nora. I
would feel the same. I do have the ability to heal, but this isn’t
something I can fix.” My hard hazel met his understanding
green.
“Not even with your source could I help Edna.
I made a promise to her I would keep her illness a secret until she
felt it was time to tell you.”
How can we sit here and do nothing? How
could you?
“After I found out she was Michael’s muse, I
had a different commitment to fulfill. Both of these I have honored
in keeping her secret. Would you have me disrespect Edna? Would you
have me go back on my word to the dead to appease your need for
knowledge? That doesn’t sound like you, Nora.” His emotions were
anxious, but his resolve was strong. He knew he had done the right
thing and he wasn’t going to apologize for it.
Tears started to flow as I reached for him.
I’m sorry … I know you’re right. I don’t know what I should do
about it. I cannot just sit by and let her die.
My breath
hitched as I clung to him.
“The Creator made both human and Alfar, and
both of our histories tell of a higher plane of existence. I
believe when Edna leaves this earth, she will be reunited with
everyone who loved her, including Michael and Arthur.” His embrace
tightened, as I sobbed.
“There has to be some comfort in the fact
that this is her true wish. She doesn’t want to prolong her time
here on earth with medicine. She doesn’t want her last day to be in
a hospital hooked up to machines; she wants to be in her room.”
Are you ever going to tell me the
significance of that room?
I thought aggressively. I knew I
shouldn’t have asked, but at the moment I wanted something to make
sense.
“I will when I can, I promise. Now is not the
time. Edna’s room is not mine to share.” The memory of the first
time I toured this home replayed in my mind. The Alfar took great
effort to assure that everyone had a place of their own. I would
respect Edna’s place.
“Thank you, love. I know this is hard for
you,” Gavin whispered.
I kissed him, and then went to the bathroom
and took a shower. I knew in the back of my mind Edna was probably
sick and she didn’t want to tell me, but the thought of her time
being limited was inconceivable. The hot water on Edna’s mountain
would have run out long before now; my fingers pruned, but I didn’t
care.
Gavin was right. Edna wouldn’t want her last
days spent in a strange hospital bed, with needles poking her and
people she didn’t know trying to make her life longer, not better.
I doubt she’d ever been in a hospital. Knowing that she was at
least doing this her way brought some resolve to my soul.
I dried my hair, put on one of Edna’s
Christmas pajamas, and came out with a new determination. I would
cherish each day as Edna had.
Gavin came and held me, his nose taking in
the scent of my coconut shampoo he loved.
“Can I ask you a question?” he said, his
emotions pensive.
You know you can ask me anything.
I
could feel the insecurity swirl.
“Would you like a place of your own?”
I realized he must have been mulling this
over as I showered. I placed my hand over his heart.
“
You
are the place of my own. You are
where I want to be at the end of every day.” His gaze softened; the
clarity of my conviction seeped through the blue.