Kelly was a good woman and a great mom. He respected the fact she was worried about her son’s feelings when it came to the possibility of a new man entering their lives.
If she was so worried about one man, what would it mean if
two
suddenly came into the picture?
It will work out.
Toweling dry and entering his bedroom completely naked, he tiptoed to the bed and pulled the covers back, listening as Devin mumbled.
“Hey,” he whispered, crawling up beside him and getting comfortable. “It’s just me.”
“Mhm,” Devin murmured sleepily. He rolled over and opened one eye to peer at him, smiling. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he whispered back, immediately wrapping his arms around him and pulling him closer. “How was your evening?”
“Good.” Devin cleared his throat and rubbed at his eyes, and then yawned. “Pretty uneventful. Kelly came by.”
“Did she? That’s nice.”
His stomach muscles twitched as Devin’s fingertips brushed over them and he inhaled sharply, watching as two beautiful eyes sparkled with mischief.
“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” He dared to ask, though he’d have no qualms with whatever Devin was planning.
“You never let me touch you,” Devin murmured, inching his palm up his chest. “It flummoxes me.”
“That’s a mighty big word.”
“I’ve found that I like using big words from time to time.” He leaned in to kiss his chest, lips soft and hot against his flesh.
“So you like big things, then?”
Devin’s eyes snapped to his again. “I might.”
“Well, I guess that’s going to work out in both of our favors.” A sly grin crossed his lips as he buried his fingers into Devin’s thick hair and pulled him in for a kiss. “Mm. Delicious.”
“So, can I touch you now?”
Never had such a simple question turned him on.
“If you want to touch me, I won’t say no,” he replied, licking his lips and tasting Devin upon them. “I just don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“I just have amnesia, Nick. I’m not incapable of thinking for myself.”
As silk lips descended his chest, his eyes slid closed and he relished in the pleasure of Devin exploring every inch of skin he could find, which was all of it.
“Use your teeth, if you want,” he encouraged, arching off the mattress as Devin’s tongue swirled around his nipple. “I like that.”
Devin obliged and trapped the hypersensitive bud between his teeth, causing little bolts of euphoria to soar straight through his nerve endings.
“Ah, fuck. That’s nice.”
Lower and lower Devin went, licking and sucking and tasting his abs before stopping just below his bellybutton. Listening to his breathing, Nick heard the small hitch and lifted his head to gaze at him.
“You okay?”
“I’m fine,” Devin said, reaching for the blankets. “Just admiring the view.”
Damn him if he didn’t make him smile like an idiot.
Pushing the blankets further down, Devin’s eyes drank in the sight of his manhood and Nick swallowed hard. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so anxious about someone seeing him, all of him, before.
Keeping his breathing calm, he watched in silence as Devin’s timid fingers brushed over his length, and as he began to harden, his eyes grew bigger.
It made Nick grin smugly like the cocky bastard he could be, but that grin disappeared as soon as Devin’s tongue darted out to greet the head of his growing erection.
“Oh...fuck.”
For someone who hadn’t been with a guy before, he was
pretty damn good
at using his mouth.
Squirming on the bed, his eyes snapped open and threatened to roll into the back of his head as his hand found Devin’s hair again, pulling occasionally.
“Fuck, baby. Just like that,” he panted, losing himself in the pure bliss known as Devin’s mouth. “Just like that.”
Devin groaned against his skin, sending shivers to all the right places as he sucked and slurped.
It was crazy and totally unexpected, but he was pretty sure he was about to have one of the fastest orgasms in history.
His balls tingled and every muscle he possessed became tight, winding up for that magical moment he lived for—this one would be the best yet.
Clutching Devin’s hair, his back arched again and his free hand moved to tap Devin’s forehead.
“Going to...” He tried to warn him.
But Devin didn’t move.
He just kept sucking, harder and harder, perfect and persistent. Surprisingly precise with that damn tongue of his as it swept over the veins of his shaft, coaxing his orgasm, as if he were begging for it.
“Baby...” He groaned, breathless, trembling as the pressure continued building up, threatening to explode at any second. “Might want to pull back now...”
But Devin stayed put, nose buried against his pelvic bone, undoubtedly being tickled by the short hairs that had managed to grow back since his last trim. His breathing was fierce through his nostrils and Nick could feel every damn breath he took as he finally let go, unable to hold on for a second longer.
It was like lightning struck him as he came, releasing himself into that heavenly, hot mouth. Curses flew from his lips as goose bump-inducing shivers raced down his legs and burst from the tips of his curled toes.
The world disappeared for a few seconds and his vision became a little hazy. He loosened his grip on Devin’s hair, and he became helpless as the sound of eager gulps reached his ringing ears.
He. Fucking. Swallowed.
It was like an out-of-body experience and it took an eternity for him to return to reality. Never in his life, never, had an orgasm been so intense.
Then again, he wasn’t sure he’d ever received such an amazing blowjob.
Sucking air into his lungs, he felt the bed shift and Devin joined him again, pressing soft kisses to his shoulder as he tried to regain feeling in his body. Goddamn, no one had ever made him feel like that before.
“Was it good?”
“Good?” His voice trembled. “Are you fucking kidding me? Where did you learn to suck dick like that?”
“I don’t know.” Devin admitted with a quiet laugh. “It just...came to me?”
“I’ll say,” he chortled, wrapping him up in a hug. “Came being the keyword.”
They shared a laugh and nothing had ever felt so perfect.
But he knew, deep down, that there was room for improvement.
Everything will become more perfect once we’ve got Kelly.
—————
D
evin
It took a few days to work up the courage to call Lydia to arrange a meeting. Kelly had happily given him her phone number and she encouraged him to call sooner rather than later, but it was difficult for him to reach out to the woman he’d made so miserable as a child.
He still didn’t understand why he’d done it. What made him physically hurt a little girl? That just didn’t feel right to him – it didn’t seem like him at all.
But he had a lengthy record for doing such things. Try as he might, he could never forget the details the doctor had given him. And worse, Jebson McIntosh was always in the back of his mind; those angry eyes staring him down and silently condemning his soul.
Maybe he was just being a coward.
Lydia was the one who said she forgave him for everything that happened in the past, so what made him hesitate meeting up with her?
Entering the local bookstore,
Bookleberry Finn’s
, he soon remembered.
Her big scary husband stood near the counter and though he smiled in greeting, his eyes promised bodily harm if Devin took one step out of line.
And who could blame him if he did?
I made his wife’s life hell,
he thought as he smiled nervously, swallowing his nerves back into place.
God, this was a bad idea.
Thankfully Lydia was there, too, smiling brightly, as if she’d suddenly forgotten he was responsible for her dark childhood.
I was the little punk ass who beat up girls. I don’t deserve that smile.
“Hi, Devin! I was beginning to wonder if you’d show up or not,” she said, immediately approaching him and reaching a hand out. “You’re looking better. I see the bruises healed up. I’m sorry about that.”
“Hey. Yeah, it’s okay,” he replied, pushing away the memories of Jebson’s merciless beat down.
I deserved it.
Shaking her hand as delicately as he could, he tried to be extra kind to her. Plus, her husband was watching him like a hawk. “I really haven’t been exploring town very much. It took a few minutes to figure out where I was going.”
That wasn’t a complete lie. Prairie Town was still a learning process for him. He’d gotten lost a few times, though he’d never admit it.
“Gosh, that has to suck. But you’re here now, so let’s talk.” She smiled and nodded towards the back of the store. “We can sit in the office if you like. It’ll probably be less chaotic.”
“It doesn’t seem so chaotic out here.” He glanced nervously at her husband. “Are you sure you want to be in a room with me?”
“I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t sure.” She blinked. “I mean, unless you plan on beating me up or something.”
“No.” His eyes widened. “God, no. I-I-I wouldn’t do that. Not ever.”
“Relax, Devin,”—her hand touched his arm and she laughed—“I’m just messing with you. Come on.”
Reluctantly, he followed her down an aisle of books and through a door, entering a small room with bright pink walls. Whoever the place belonged to, they must have really liked pink.
“Have a seat,” she instructed, hopping up on a stool and crossing one long leg over the other. Her glossed lips curved into another smile as she flipped her long dark hair over her shoulder. “I promise no one is going to hurt you.”
I deserve to be hurt,
he thought solemnly.
How was I ever cruel to such a lovely creature?
Easing down into the office chair and glancing around the room, he tried to pretend he wasn’t as nervous as he felt. Even though he desperately wanted answers about his childhood and the boy he’d befriended, he wasn’t sure coming to Lydia was the best idea.
Why the hell would she help him anyway?
“So....” She started after a full minute of painfully, awkward silence. “You wanted to ask me something about grade school?”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said, nodding. “I had hoped Kelly could help me, but she said she was homeschooled. She said you’d be my best bet.”
“Gosh, I don’t remember too much from back then, but I’ll do my best. What do you want to know?”
Why did I hurt you?
He wanted to ask.
Who else did I hurt?
His stomach churned.
“My mom came to see me the other day and she mentioned a friend I had when I was little. We were close, apparently. I was, uh, hoping maybe you might remember him.”
Lydia’s eyebrows pinched together and she gazed at nothing in particular as she thought it over.
“Hmm,” she mumbled, frowning. “Can you be a little more specific? You were always pretty popular, even in elementary school. You had a lot of friends.”
Fake friends, maybe,
his jawline tightened and relaxed.
None of them were true friends to me.
And he knew that to be the truth because he’d also been informed he intimated people into hanging out with him. He was ‘that guy’. The guy everyone preferred hanging out with rather than getting punched in the stomach on a daily basis.
It still bothered him that he couldn’t remember what made him into that kind of person.
It wasn’t entirely his father’s fault, was it?
“His name started with a J, I think,” he offered, hoping it would help jog her memory. “My mom’s memory isn’t as good as it used to be, or so she says. But, she said it might have been Jimmy or Johnny.”
“Johnny?” She asked, surprised. “Are you sure she said Johnny?”
“I’m not one hundred percent positive,” he admitted, sighing. “It could be one or the other, or maybe an entirely different name.” Quirking an eyebrow, he watched her squirm and that was a telltale sign that she knew
something
. “Do you remember a Johnny though? There
was
a Johnny?”
Her lips thinned and her gaze shifted to the dark pink pig figurine on the desk.
“Lydia?”
“Yes. There was a Johnny.” Her eyes remained on the pig as her bottom lip disappeared between her teeth. “I remember him.”
“Is that...bad?” He scooted the chair closer with his feet and tried to catch her attention. “You don’t seem too thrilled to talk about him.”
“Something like that.” Her voice became so soft he almost didn’t hear her.
“I’m sorry. Did he...”—he gulped—“Was he mean to you, too?”
“No. God no.” She finally looked at him. He was taken aback by the expression on her face. Was it sadness or anger? “Johnny was just...a lost soul. He was a lot like you are now, I suppose.”
“I’m guessing you don’t mean amnesia.”
“No, but he spent a lot of time trying to figure out who he was, where he fit in.”
“And did he ever find out?”
“Eventually.”
It probably wasn’t any of his business, but if there was a small chance Johnny was the guy he needed to find, then he needed to know what happened to him – where he could find him. As if she somehow knew what he was going to ask, Lydia held up a hand and he closed his mouth, no sooner than it opened, giving her the floor.
“You won’t find him, Devin.”
“Oh.” His heart sank. “Is he...you know?”
“Dead?” A small laugh escaped her. Uncrossing her legs and hopping down from the stool, she moved towards the filing cabinet in the corner of the room, busying herself with straightening a trophy sitting on top of it. “I suppose you could say that.”
“
Oh
.”
The grief that overcame him was totally unexpected and inexplicable. The mystery man he’d been hoping to reconnect with had come and gone in an instant. There was no way he’d get answers about anything, not about who he was as a child, not about the special bond they’d shared, not even the truth of how the horrible version of him came to be. It was hopeless if the guy was dead.