Helen Barclay smiled.
‘
Yes, I believe you are—and how much of it is due to
Mr.
Leighton—to Roger?
’
Julia frowned a little.
‘
Mother, just because he brought me home, don
’
t run away with the idea that he—that he and I—He was coming to this part of the country, anyway.
’
‘Maybe, but he need not have included you in the trip if he hadn
’
t wanted to. You know, I
’
m glad now that you didn
’
t succeed in buying the boat business yourself. It would have been a big responsibility for you and a great tie, as well as taking all your money. As it is, you
’
re still working with boats, you haven
’
t the responsibility, you can leave any time you like and you still have a little money. And last, but not least, you
’
ve met someone else.
’
‘
Mother!
’
remonstrated Julia.
‘
Because
you
’
ve
taken a liking to him, which you obviously have, that doesn
’
t mean there
’
s anything special between him and me. He
’
s merely my boss.
’
‘All right, dear, if you say so. But a person can still be important to you and change your life a great deal without necessarily becoming a permanent part of it. And I think you needed someone like Roger to shift the focus of your thinking away from the past.
’
Julia knew what her mother was trying to say. She had needed someone with Roger
’
s strong personality to help her to forget David, though a romantic attachment was not essential. But forget was not the right word. She would never forget David. She had loved him too well.
Watching her face, her mother touched her hand.
‘My dear, I
kn
ow
what David meant to you, and a period of grieving—of still reaching out—is natural, but it
’
s all too easy to live in the past, to become obsessed by it.
’
Julia smiled faintly and nodded. ‘I know.
’
Helen Barclay rose and bent to kiss her daughter
’
s cheek.
‘
Bless you. Good-night, then, and sleep well. It
’
s lovely to have you home again, if only for a short
s
tay
.’
Julia put out her light and settled down to sleep, but it did not come easily. Her mind was occupied with so many things. Her mother had so nearly hit on the truth. Roger Leighton had already had some effect on her thinking. She could never feel the same about him as she had about David and there was no question of his ever taking David
’
s place even if he himself had the inclination—which he certainly had not. But there was no denying the fact that for the first time since David
’
s death she had found herself interested in what another man thought of her and was beginning to feel free of the pain which had bound her to David
’
s memory. She thought of Celia Palmer, and became more and more convinced that she and Roger had been in love and had quarrelled. It was obvious that Celia had gone to Norfolk specially to see Roger, and though he might still be angry with her, she was still very much in his mind.
Julia told herself that his private life was nothing to do with her, and plumped up a pillow which had become as hard as a rock, but it was his face and not David
’
s which was etched upon her mental vision as she closed her eyes in sleep.
The week-end passed all too quickly. Shopping with her mother on Saturday morning, lunch in town, and after more shopping in the afternoon, a high tea at home and a theatre in the evening. A lazy day on Sunday with a drive out to the orchards with her father in the afternoon and visiting friends in the evening. It was while she and her father walked for a little while among the still leafless apple trees that her father said:
‘
If you ever feel you want to come home, you know, Julia, I could do with your help. I
’
ve got a new girl in the office, and your work has more or less become split among three other people, including myself, but there are so many things I now have to think about for which you used to take responsibility. Having other people to work for you isn
’
t the same as having your own. And needless to say, I
’
ve missed you as a daughter, too. It was pretty good having you around the place, though I realize, of course, that I could never have hoped to keep you at home for ever. Anyway, if you want to come back, don
’
t think for a moment that you
’
d be doing anyone else out of a job.
’
Julia squeezed his hand. ‘Thanks, Father. You
’
re the best there is. I might take you up on that. I
’
ll have to see how things work out with Roger Leighton and myself. When the boatyard gets busy I might find I don
’
t like working for him, after all. On the other hand he could very soon tire of the country life and go back to being an oil magnate—or whatever the term is. In which case I presume he
’
d leave me in charge. At least, I hope he would.
’
‘And then you
’
d be happy to stay in Norfolk indefinitely—and possibly ma
rr
y and settle down there?
’
Julia shrugged lightly.
‘
I expect I shall marry one day, though at the moment—
’
‘
Still can
’
t quite accept the idea of putting anyone in David
’
s place?
’
her father asked quietly.
‘Something like that, I suppose. But I must say, I seem to get more homesick rather than less as time goes on.
’
Tom Barclay flashed her a smile. ‘They say
“
home is where your heart is
”
, don
’
t they? See how you feel at the end of the summer. By then you might feel there
’
s nothing to keep you in Norfolk.
’
Julia wondered. Perhaps her mother had been right. She had been obsessed by the past which concerned David. Perhaps by the end of the summer she might be glad to leave Norfolk and the boatyard.
On Monday morning Roger called at precisely the hour he said he would, and after a quick cup of coffee to send them on their way, they said goodbye to Julia
’
s parents and set off on their journey back to Norfolk.
After a while, Roger said with insight:
‘
I hope your week-end didn
’
t unsettle you too much.
’
She gave him an amused glance. ‘Do you?
’
‘
Of course. I wouldn
’
t like to have to start hunting round for someone to take your place.
’
Julia felt rather deflated, but she said swiftly,
‘
Oh, I wouldn
’
t leave you in the lurch. I
’
d stay on until at least the end of the season.
’
‘
Does that mean you
’
re thinking of doing so?
’
he asked sharply.
She laughed briefly. ‘Why, no, not necessarily. I mean—simply that, having decided to stay on, if at some time in the future I should change my mind and want to go back home and work for my father, then the end of the season is the time I would choose.
’
‘
I see. But if you had succeeded in buying Wingcraft, you wouldn
’
t even have considered leaving Norfolk, providing the business remained flourishing.
’
‘I suppose not. But none of us can say with any certainty what we
’
re going to do six months hence, can we?
’
she countered. ‘By the end of the summer you might decide you
’
ve had enough yourself.
’
‘What makes you say that—wishful thinking?
’
A swift frown creased her forehead. ‘That
’
s—not quite fair, is it?
’
The element of truth had found a raw spot, and she was hurt that he should have made the point.
‘
But it
’
s true, isn
’
t it?
’
he pressed relentlessly.
‘
Aren
’
t you rather hoping that I
’
ll get fed up or something like that and leave a .clear field for you
?’
She felt her cheeks colouring from the unwarranted attack. She would have offered to resign immediately, but she thought he had genuinely meant it when he said he didn
’
t want to start looking for someone to take her place. She could only suppose that he had had a trying week-end. She thought for a moment longer.
Was
she still hoping he would want to sell the business in about six months
’
time? Honestly, she wasn
’
t, she decided, if only for his sake, because if he did, it would mean that he had failed or had found that he hated the country life. Or even that Celia had persuaded him to go back to the oil company. And that, for some reason, she would find the worst.
‘No,
’
she answered quietly.
‘
That is
not
what I
’
m hoping.
’
Her answer brought a silence. He took advantage of a red traffic light to turn and look searchingly at her. She met his gaze calmly, but she had the feeling that he was not altogether convinced of her sincerity. He drove in silence for quite a long time, and she did not speak, either. She tried to put her finger on the reason for the small knot of pain deep within her. Was it disappointment that the promising friendly relationship between them was fading, or had already faded? How were they going to work together happily if he did not trust her, if he thought she was waiting for his defeat? It was a ve
r
y difficult position. She couldn
’
t very well keep changing her mind about staying on even though she was not looking forward to the months ahead. But perhaps he would learn to trust her as time went on, and as soon as the holiday season was in full swing they would be too busy to cut across each other a great deal.
‘Would you like another coffee or shall we carry on until lunch-time?
’
His voice pierced her musings.
‘Whichever you feel like will be all right by me.
’
Was it her imagination or was there a conciliatory note in his voice
?
Julia glanced at the car clock which showed a little after eleven.
‘
Lunch will do fine,
’
she answered.
‘
Sure?
’
‘
Quite sure.
’
‘Then we
’
ll make it an early one. Twelve or thereabouts.
’
He gave her a sidelong glance. ‘Do you like travelling?
’
‘
Motoring, you mean?
’
‘
Yes—and travel in general, seeing places.
’
She nodded, glad that he had begun to talk again, and on what should be a fairly safe subject.
‘I like motoring—and I must get myself another car. With regard to travel, I
’
d like to have seen more places than I have.
’
‘What prevented you—time, money or a suitable travel companion?
’
he quizzed.
She couldn
’
t help smiling.
‘
A bit of all three, I suppose. On an annual holiday, one can
’
t see much of the world at a time and the days are gone when parents could afford to send their sons and daughters abroad for six months or a year for their education
‘Only the very wealthy were ever able to do it,
’
he said. ‘And I suppose it
’
s still done today, though money has become more evenly distributed.
’