Before I could think on that, I heard a car heading in my direction. I wasn’t surprised to see Brody’s beat-up truck when I turned my head. Who else would be coming here at three in the morning? Only the man who was looking for me.
He slammed his door shut and walked toward me in long, purposeful strides. I could see the tension in his shoulders and the set of his jaw from yards away. Yet, as he neared, the expression on his face softened. “Mind if I take a seat?”
One look at his handsome face and his warm brown eyes and my heart gave a traitorous flip. I offered him a timid smile. “Sure, I guess. How’d you know where to… ah… find me?”
“Just had a hunch is all,” he replied, crouching down beside me. “Whatcha doing out here, Shan?”
It should be easy to answer, but it just wasn’t. I knew how offended he’d be if I explained the doubts I’d been having. “Thinking.”
“Good things?”
As calm as he tried to keep his voice, I heard the apprehension at the edges of his question. I had to get away from those dark, probing eyes, so I turned my gaze back toward the water. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, it’s not that hard to figure out, honey,” he laughed. “Either it’s good, or it’s not. What’s it about? Maybe I can help.”
I bit down on my lip, hard, tightening my jaw. “You know what it’s about.”
“Us?”
“Of course. What else?”
“I have to admit, Shan, I’m pretty confused over here. I thought we had an amazing time together.”
“We did,” I admitted softly, still striving to avoid eye contact. “It’s not that… or maybe it is… just, going down this road again with you…”
“I thought we’ve been over this.”
“I know, I know. But I’m still so confused and… do you remember earlier? When you asked if I trusted you?” I glanced at him in time to see him nod. “I do… trust you, I mean. But then I don’t at the same time.”
“You’ve lost me. I don’t know what to say right now, Shan.”
“I know, me too. I don’t know; I’m just so confused.”
He leaned over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders; I stiffened under his touch, but after a few moments I relaxed against him. “Walk me through it. We’ll figure it out together.”
“That’s just it. Do you remember, ah… I was supposed to be leaving for Brown and I… I came to your house and tried to talk to you…” I trailed off, my cheeks flushing in embarrassment as I heard the meekness in my voice.
“Look at me, Shana Rae.”
I shook my head mutely, knowing I wouldn’t be able to take the anger I’d see on his face. Or maybe he’d just be annoyed. Maybe he’d be both. Either way, I couldn’t see it or I feared I might break down and cry.
“Come on, Shana.”
What was it about that deep, rich authority in his voice that drew me despite my intentions? I didn’t know for certain, but I did turn my head. The moment I’d obeyed, he seized my chin and trapped it between his firm fingers so that I couldn’t turn away again.
He certainly didn’t look angry. In fact, he looked concerned and a bit embarrassed. When he spoke, his voice was full of regret. “I was a stupid kid. I am so, so sorry, sweetheart. I should have… listen, you were right. You were right to put off marriage and go to Brown. If you hadn’t, you never would have been happy. I realized that, before you left, but I was too much of an asshat to tell you. I should have come down and told you right then and driven you to the airport, but I couldn’t stand the idea of making up with you only to say goodbye all over again. I thought it was… better that way. Like I said, I was stupid.”
I nodded slowly, trying to take it in. He’d thought I was
right
?
“I should have called you when you got there, I should have told you all this before now and I don’t really know why I didn’t. Foolish pride, I guess, but it’s not worth losing you a second time. Tell me what I need to do. I’d do anything for you, Shana.”
How different our lives might have been if he’d called. My mind was reeling from the thought. When I saw the worry in his eyes, I offered a smile. “I know.”
“What do I need to do, baby? Help me make this right.”
“I guess… I’m still a little scared.”
His grip tightened on my chin, but it felt comforting as he tipped it up so that I was looking him in the eye. “Aren’t we all? If you don’t want this, then tell me, Shana. I care about you enough to leave you alone, if that’s what you really want. But if it’s not, you have to stop running anytime you get confused or things get hard. My old heart can’t take it, honey.”
“You’re not old,” I scoffed, my smile fading a bit when I thought about what he’d said. “I don’t know, Brody. I want to believe you, I want to, but…”
“No buts,” he said firmly. “If you want to, then you have to. Give us another shot, Shan. If you don’t, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering ‘What if?’”
Oh, how right he was about that. I already knew so well. “OK,” I said, exhaling the word with relief.
He gazed at me with soft, loved-filled eyes as he stroked my cheek. “And about running away?”
“I… I’ll try, Brody. I promise. I don’t know where along the line it became my defense mechanism, but…”
“Shh.” Brody pulled me tightly against his chest and kissed my straight black hair. “I know, baby. I’ll be patient with you if you’ll give me the same promise.”
“Deal.”
We both fell silent after that. I’d always loved watching the water. Brody had always been baffled by it, but he didn’t seem to mind so much just now.
“Brody?”
“Hmm?”
“Do you think you should… punish me?”
“Punish you for what?” He asked, surprise showing on his face.
“For… you know. Running away.”
“I wasn’t planning on it. We’ve never talked about it before, but now that we have, I expect you to hold up your end of the bargain. Understand?”
“Yes, but…”
“But what, Shana? Do you think I should? Do you need me to?”
This was as crazy as crazy could get. I knew I should tell him no, of course not, don’t be silly, but when I opened my mouth what came out was, “Maybe. Maybe I do need you to.”
“We’re talking a spanking here,” he clarified. “And if you ask me to punish you, I’m not going to hold back. Are you sure this is what you want?”
“I don’t want you to hold back.”
“OK, baby. Let’s get this over with then.”
When I put myself over his awaiting knees, the strangest sense of satisfaction came over me. Brody must have felt it too, because I could feel his rock-hard erection pulsing hungrily through the fabric of his jeans.
“You know, Shana… I’ve always known every inch of you was made for me, but this… when you submit to me like this,” his hand caressed gently over my bottom, “waiting for my punishment, it’s like a dream, a wish, and every fantasy I’ve ever had coming true all at once. I love you.”
His voice was thick with emotion and the unshed tears that had formed in my eyes earlier began to fall down my cheeks, one by one. I turned my head back to look at him, my eyes wide.
“You… do?”
“Yes,” he reached a hand over to stroke my silky black hair. “I do. Why are you looking at me like that? I’ve said it before.”
I shook my head, still amazed that he’d said it at all. “Not since… it’s been a long time.”
“You are so silly, woman. Of course I love you—who could help but love you?”
“I don’t care about anyone else but you,” I replied softly.
“Let’s get this over with, OK?”
Without a word, I turned back around and Brody repositioned me over his lap. As soon as he had me right where he wanted me, I felt his hand smack against the seat of my shorts. I couldn’t help but grunt with the impact, which was repeated with each of the stinging eleven spanks he put right in the same spot. By that time, I was whimpering and wriggling. I wanted him to stop, but I didn’t ask him to. I trusted him—I knew he’d stop when it was right, and not before. Something about that knowledge gave me the strength to relax against him and take my punishment. It even gave me the strength to admit—to myself, if no one else—that I
needed
his punishment. Maybe I always had, even if I hadn’t known it.
I squirmed when he slipped his fingers into the band of my shorts and peeled them down slowly. He slid his hand over my bared bottom cheeks and I could feel his cock straining even harder against the fly of his pants. Delicious tingles rippled through me at his touch, but no sooner had I begun to enjoy it than he lifted his hand and began to cover my cheeks with swift, firm spanks. I cried out as the pain resumed anew, grinding my pelvis against his thigh.
“Lie still,” he warned gruffly, “or I’ll spank you standing up.”
If I’d thought it hurt before, he quickly proved me wrong. As soon as I’d settled down, he turned up the heat, spanking with a paddle-like hand that flattened my sit-spots with each and every swat. They were all delivered rapid-fire and only ceased when my body was racked with sobs of remorse. My bottom was stinging unforgivably as he helped me up and pulled me onto his hard thigh. He held me tightly, stroking my hair and murmuring that he loved me over and over again until the tears stopped.
“Thank you,” I whispered, my voice muffled as I pressed my face into his chest.
He gave me a squeeze. “For what, honey?”
“For… you know… spanking me.”
“Oh, it was my pleasure,” he quipped.
“Do you have to make everything a joke?” I swatted at his chest. “Some things never change.”
“Hey, now.” He caught my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. “Behave.”
“Yes, sir,” I replied with a little sigh, settling back against his chest. As I inhaled his sweet, manly scent I could swear the clock turned back and we were teenagers again. My love for him hadn’t diminished one iota in all that time. But it was better now. This time, I knew it would last. Some things never changed—but when things did, sometimes they were even better than before.
Epilogue
Six months later
“I just can’t believe you’re moving out. You’re so grown up, honey.”
I refrained—just barely—from rolling my eyes. “Mom, I’m going to be thirty-five.”
“Oh, I know, dear. Just… you know this is all your father ever wanted for you.”
“To move out?” I asked as I wrapped knick-knacks in newspaper.
“No. For you to find a man who would take care of you and love you just the way you deserve. I know he’d be so proud of you.”
It was hard not to get teary-eyed when she smiled at me with that trembling smile. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Who would have thought you’d meet the right one for you when you were nine?”
“I sure didn’t think so at the time!” I laughed.
“Oh, I know just how you feel. Have I ever told you about the first time your father asked me out on a date?”
“No.” I shook my head, surprised there was a story about my parents I hadn’t heard already.
“Well, he asked me to a school dance or some other nonsense like that and I laughed in his face.”
“You didn’t!”
“Oh, don’t look so shocked, dear. Your father was quite the ladies’ man, and I didn’t want to step on any toes.”
“You’re making that up!”
“No, no, it’s quite true. He never gave up though. He kept asking until he’d worn me down.”
I giggled at the thought. Now that sounded like Dad. He was a firm believer in ‘If at first you don’t succeed…’
We spent a peaceful, relaxing afternoon laughing and remembering old times as we wrapped my life in bubble wrap and stored it in boxes. When Brody had first asked me to move in with him, I’d regretfully turned him down. I hadn’t thought Mom could handle living on her own—and after all, that had been the primary reason I’d moved back in the first place. But I’d been in the middle of a rotation at the hospital when I ran into her doctor. I asked him to have a cup of coffee with me and as we discussed my mom’s case, I realized something. He’d expressed concern over her health, assuming that it would have improved drastically on the current drug he’d prescribed.
Something had clicked into place then and I’d gone home to do a thorough search of the house. I’d found two things: first, that Mom had been taking her medication only half of the time, and second, that she’d bought a weight-loss drug over the Internet, which she’d kept hidden from me. She’d known that I wouldn’t approve, but what she couldn’t know was that the drugs in her weight-loss pills would render her dementia medication useless.
I’d taken Mom off the weight-loss drugs with stern orders not to ever, ever take anything without checking with either her doctor or me first. She’d gained five or six pounds, but she’d also returned to a much more functional version of her happier self. It was almost astonishing to see how much she’d changed in such a short span of time. It made me feel better about leaving, although Mom had been the one to talk me into it.
And if things ever got that bad again, I could come back. Brody only cared about what was best for my family. A happy glow settled over me as my mind strayed to him. I couldn’t believe how far we’d come, but one thing was for sure: I wouldn’t go back for anything.
“Oh, I don’t see Mr. Soft Paws,” Mom commented, putting her hands on her hips and surveying the half-packed boxes. “You’re not going to leave him behind, are you?”
“Not a chance.” I grinned at her. “Brody’ll have to learn to live with it.”
* * *
It had been a hellish week at the hospital and I was so looking forward to an evening of relaxing. Maybe we’d pop some popcorn and watch a movie, I mused as I let myself in the door.
“Hey, hon, that you?”
I laughed to myself as I shut the door. “Unless you have another girlfriend, then yes.”
Brody popped his head around the corner, grinning. “Yeah, but she only comes on Tuesdays because that’s the night you work late.”
“Hey!” I cried indignantly, playing along. I picked up the hand towel off the counter and tossed it at him. It hit harmlessly, but it was enough to bring him racing into the room and charging after me. Laughing, I took off, but I didn’t fight too hard and before long he caught me in his strong arms and pinned me beneath him, tickling me mercilessly.