The Mavericks (12 page)

“I'll take the mules for a drink before we harness them,” Hawk said.

“I'll go with you,” Suzette offered.

Josie grabbed the coffee beans and scooted around the corner of the wagon, protests against being left alone with Zeke teetering on the end of her tongue, but Suzette and Hawk had already turned toward the river. To call them back now would be to offer an even bigger insult. As much as she didn't want to be left alone with Zeke, he didn't deserve that.

“You want me to leave, don't you?” Zeke asked.

“No.” That wasn't exactly a lie. She'd rather he were not here, but her real objection was to being left alone with him. His knowing smile made her squirm.

“I never pictured you as one to lie, even about little things.”

“I didn't lie. I don't want you to leave.”

“Okay, but you don't want me to be here either.”

She nodded.

“Because you don't like me.”

“I don't dislike you.”

Josie didn't understand why it should be so important to her that Zeke believe she didn't dislike him. Maybe she just didn't want him to have the wrong impression about her. After all, she wasn't cruel. She simply didn't want a relationship with a man, and Zeke seemed exactly the kind of man she
most
wanted to avoid. If she lacked any other reason—and she had plenty—the fact that he confused her was enough.

“Why don't you fix your own coffee?” she said, holding the coffee beans out to him. “You know better than I how you like it.”

Zeke took the coffee from her with a disbelieving grimace. “You just can't bring yourself to do anything for me, can you? I wish you'd tell me what I did to make you dislike me so much.”

“I don't dislike you.”

“Yeah, and the look you're giving me isn't saying
I wish you were dead
.” He strode to the back of the wagon. “Where do you keep your extra pots? Never mind. I found one.” He filled it with water and settled it on the coals. “Hawk and Suzette have decided that since we're going the same way, we ought to travel together,” he said, looking up at her from where he was squatting by the fire. “We need to get a few things straight between us if that's going to work.”

Josie's confusion of the last several minutes was nothing compared to the chaos Zeke's announcement created among her thoughts. She was furious at Hawk and Suzette for making such a decision without consulting her, surprised Zeke would even consider it, and
petrified that she might actually be feeling relieved. “What do you think?”

Zeke's gaze narrowed. “That depends on you.”

His gaze was so piercing, she had to stop herself from stepping back. “How do you mean?”

Zeke's gaze didn't waver. “I'd prefer to get our horses to the ranch as quickly as possible. That would be easier without a wagon, and traveling alone, we'd be better able to avoid trouble with horse thieves.”

“How many times has somebody tried to steal your horses?”

“Just once, but we got away without too much trouble. The mares can run faster than a horse carrying a man. Your mules couldn't, even if they weren't dragging a wagon.”

She faced him squarely. “Then leave us.”

“We couldn't do that.”

“Why not? You're more concerned about your horses than you are about us.”

Was that one of the reasons she was so irritated with him? She hoped she hadn't become so pathetic she could be jealous of a bunch of pregnant mares.

“If we decide to take you with us, we'll be just as responsible for you and Suzette as for the horses.”

“I thought it was already decided.”

He gave her a questioning look. “It won't be if you or I don't go along with it.”

“And whether you agree depends on me.”

Zeke poured a healthy amount of coffee into the boiling water. “Look, we both know you practically get hives when you see me. I'm not about to spend the rest of this trip having to watch my back.”

“You think I might try to hurt you?” Surely he couldn't believe she was violent. “Look, I've had some bad experiences with men.”

“Then you shouldn't hang around with men who're drunk and starved for the sight of a woman. It's a bad combination.”

Josie's body stiffened at the implied insult. “I entertain men. I don't
hang around
with them.”

“What do you call working in a saloon?”

“A job.”

“If you lie down with dogs, you're bound to get up with fleas.”

Rage consumed Josie so completely, she picked up the pot of brewing coffee and hurled it at Zeke before she realized what she was doing. When he yelled and threw himself to one side, escaping the boiling water, she went after him, the pot raised over her head. One minute she was chasing him. The next he had her firmly in his grip, her body pressed tightly against him. He applied pressure to her wrist until her grip relaxed and the pot slid from her grasp.

“What in hell is wrong with you?” Zeke demanded.

“I won't let anybody call me a whore.” She struggled to break away, but Zeke's grip was like iron. She tried to kick him, but he pinned her legs between his.

“I never said anything like that,” Zeke protested. “I wouldn't even if I'd thought it.”

“You accused me of lying down with dogs.”

“That's just an expression. It means if you hang around dangerous people, you can expect dangerous things to happen to you.”

The fight went out of Josie, but she didn't stop
struggling. She didn't want Zeke to know how relieved she was he didn't think she was a whore. “I don't believe you.”

“So what else is new?”

The feeling coursing through her body was new. Now that the blinding rage had receded, she was aware her body was in intimate contact with Zeke's. Her back was pressed against his chest, his arms across her chest resting against her breasts as he held her hands in his unbreakable grip. But it was the power of his thighs holding her lower body motionless that was gradually draining the strength from her muscles, making it impossible for her to struggle against him.

Even though she tried to tell herself she didn't want him to touch her, that she didn't even want him close to her, her body was ignoring her brain and sending its own messages, forcing her to acknowledge them in spite of herself. She didn't want to feel pleasure at a man's touch. She didn't want to feel excitement at his closeness. Most of all, she didn't want to feel desire for a man,
need
for one. That need had made a slave of her mother even after the law had declared she was free.

“Let me go,” Josie said.

“Not until I'm sure you won't throw anything else at me.”

“I won't.”

“How do I know you're telling the truth?”

She couldn't tell him she wanted him to let her go because she was afraid she would start to like being held in his arms. She certainly wouldn't tell him the feel of his body against her own was making her so warm she was having trouble thinking clearly. She absolutely wouldn't tell him that she was beginning to
wonder if he might be different from all the other men in her life.

Despite the fact that he was attracted to her—she'd seen evidence of that on at least two occasions—he didn't lose control. She felt something perilously akin to regret. She took pride in her ability to control her feelings for men. Consequently, it embarrassed her to be unable to control her feelings for Zeke. In the same vein, she prided herself in her ability to make any man want her. It hurt her vanity—and threatened her security—to discover that Zeke could control his feelings for her more effectively than she could control her feelings for him.

“You don't, but you can dunk me in the river if I make any attempt to attack you again.”

“Well, well.” Suzette's voice came from behind them. “And I thought you two didn't like each other.”

Zeke released Josie and stepped back. It would be impossible to explain the circumstances. He could tell from the expressions on Suzette's and Hawk's faces that they weren't going to believe anything he said.

“We've decided to become best friends,” Josie said, sarcasm vying with embarrassment for prominence in her voice. “That was just our way of sealing the agreement.”

The satisfied look disappeared from Suzette's face. Hawk's expression barely changed. It was his eyes that told Zeke he didn't believe a word. He looked for the coffeepot and found it only a couple feet away. He poured more water in it and set it back on the coals.

“I thought the water would have been hot by now,” Hawk said.

“We had an accident,” Zeke said.

“It was no accident.” From her stormy expression, it
was clear that Josie didn't mean to hide behind Zeke's excuse. “Zeke is just trying to protect me. I misunderstood something he said and threw the coffee at him.” Her cheeks aflame, she faced Hawk and Suzette as though daring either of them to say anything. “I missed. He very wisely grabbed hold of me to prevent me from throwing anything else. I should apologize. He's never done anything to make me think he would make a rude remark.”

Leaving three people staring at her in disbelief, Josie walked away and disappeared along the path to the river. Zeke was surprised that Josie had taken responsibility for the misunderstanding. It was even harder to believe that she'd apologized.

“What did you say to her?” Even Hawk, usually indifferent to people's behavior, was curious about what could have caused such a change in Josie.

His words hadn't seemed ugly when he'd said them, but now Zeke felt slightly embarrassed. “If you lie down with dogs, you have to expect to get up with fleas.”

“That doesn't sound so terrible,” Suzette said.

Zeke ducked his head. “It's what I said earlier that made it sound bad.”

Hawk chuckled softly. “And you're supposed to be the one who's good at talking to women.”

Zeke looked up, shrugged, and reached for the coffee beans. “All bets are off when it comes to Josie.”

Suzette moved closer to Zeke. “It's not your fault. She's had some bad experiences with men.”

“I'm not asking her to fall in love with me.” Zeke was unable to keep the frustration out of his voice. “But I don't see how traveling together will work if she's going to take everything I say the wrong way.”

“Are you saying you won't let us travel with you?” Suzette asked.

Suzette's dismay was obvious. Zeke measured out the coffee with great care to give himself a moment to think. He moved the pan with the cooked bacon to the edge of the coals and put the coffeepot in the center. It wasn't any better for Hawk to become emotionally entangled with Suzette than it was for him to become entangled with Josie. Would he be doing Hawk a favor by forcing him and Suzette apart before they could become seriously interested in each other? Did he have the
right
to decide something like this for Hawk?

“No, I'm not,” he said. “But you'd better talk to Josie before we decide.”

He and Hawk had each been interested in several women over the past twenty years, but this was the first time Zeke thought Hawk might be on the verge of developing a serious relationship. He didn't know why he should think that—Hawk and Suzette barely knew each other—but there seemed to be something between them he'd never seen in any of Hawk's previous affairs.

“I should go talk to Josie,” Suzette said.

“Good idea. Would you like me to make some biscuits?” What the hell was he doing, trying to bribe Josie with his cooking? So far his competence had done nothing but irritate her. He wondered if she'd like him better if he was so helpless she had to do everything for him. Some women liked it when they believed a man couldn't survive without them.

“Can you really make biscuits?” Suzette asked.

“Sure. Hawk and I learned to cook for ourselves
long ago. If we hadn't, our choice would have been to starve or eat bad food.”

“I'll be back soon.”

“Take your time. It'll be better for everybody if Josie is sure about what she wants to do.” His expression turned stony. “You can also tell her we reserve the right to reconsider this arrangement at any time.”

Suzette's eyes widened in surprise. She turned to Hawk. “Do you agree with that?”

Hawk stared at Zeke for a moment before swinging his gaze to Suzette. “Yes.”

Suzette looked disappointed. She appeared to want to say something. Instead, she shrugged her shoulders, turned, and started down the path Josie had taken.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Hawk asked.

Zeke poked needlessly at the coals and reconsidered his offer to make biscuits. He and Hawk had already eaten. Why had he offered to cook for the women? Making biscuits wasn't going to make Josie like him any better, and it would make them even later getting on the trail. He got to his feet with a frustrated grunt. He might as well stop debating and get the makings from the wagon. For reasons he couldn't identify, he had to make biscuits.

“I'd rather wrestle a grown steer,” he said to Hawk as he gathered flour and hog fat from the wagon, “but you know as well as I do this woman is under my skin. I've got to get her out before she drives me crazy.”

“We could just leave.”

“What about Suzette?”

Hawk's expression didn't change. Only his eyes indicated
that Zeke had touched a nerve. “What about her?”

“You like her. I think she likes you.”

“We're attracted to each other, but it's something either of us can walk away from. It's not like that with you and Josie.”

Zeke wasn't sure Hawk was right, but he was too confused about his own feelings to think he knew what was going on with Hawk. He dumped some flour on a board and began mixing it with lard until the mixture was crumbly. It felt good to have something to do with his hands, something he knew he could accomplish. “Whatever is between me and Josie isn't going anywhere, but that's not true of you and Suzette. It could develop into something serious.”