Authors: Leigh Greenwood
“Suzette has had even more experience than I have,” she said when Zeke continued to stare at her, “and she doesn't see anything wrong with Gardner.”
Zeke moved to the edge of the river to wash the sand from the bowls. She was prepared for him to argue, to tell her she didn't know what she was talking about, even to say no woman could take care of herself. She wasn't prepared for silence. Hawk was the silent one. Zeke could carry on a conversation with a cactus.
“Are you so angry at me you can't even talk to me?”
“No.” He spoke without looking up from the muddied water. “I just don't have anything else to say.” He stepped farther into the river and rinsed the bowls and the pot in clear water. Zeke kept rinsing the bowls again and again until there couldn't possibly be a grain of sand or a speck of food adhering to them. She found his silence almost as upsetting as his constant irritability.
“Okay, what do you want me to do?” she asked, her voice rising in frustration.
“Just be careful,” he replied in an uncharacteristically quiet voice. “You ready to go back?”
She wanted to take a long walk to get away from the most confusing and frustrating man she'd ever met, but that wasn't a wise choice, so she settled for going back to camp. “Suzette's probably wondering whether I've fallen into the river and been swept away.”
“No, she's not. She knows your big brother is here to protect you.”
It hit her like a smack in the face. Josie didn't believe for one minute Zeke was in love with herâor even liked her very muchâbut no man wanted to feel like a woman's brother. He wanted to believe she thought he was strong, virile, exciting, possibly even a little dangerous. Saying he was like a brother practically emasculated him.
But having hurt his feelings, she didn't know how to go about apologizing without making it worse. She'd never been around a man like Zeke. She didn't really know what went on inside his head. At first she'd thought he was just a big showoff. But even though
she'd only known him for a few days, she'd discovered there was much more to him than she had guessed. She had to find a way to let him know she hadn't meant to hurt him.
“Suzette and I trust you and Hawk to make sure nothing happens to us. I don't know why you decided to let us travel with you, but I know it's not what you wanted to do.”
Zeke walked out of the river. But instead of heading back to the camp, he stopped in front of her. “Hawk was convinced you'd never make it to Tombstone without running into trouble.”
“Do you always go along with what Hawk wants?”
At first he seemed angry at what she implied, but that faded quickly to be replaced by something like sadness.
“Hawk and I are brothers, and not just because we were adopted together. I do things because he wants, and he does things because I want. I know people don't like or trust us because we're different. But no matter what happens, no matter how great the danger, I know I can count on him to cover my back. We've been each other's best friend for twenty-three years. Yes, I'd do anything for Hawk just because he wanted it.”
Josie didn't know what to say. She'd never met two people who'd developed such a close, trusting, and giving relationship. She had thought it was impossible. Yet as hard as it was for her to understand, she believed Zeke. He had spoken easily and directlyâfrom the heart.
“I wish I had somebody I felt that way about,” Josie said.
“You won't as long as you fight with people who try to help you.”
The truth of Zeke's words was like a stab of pain. Josie was embarrassed by her behavior, frightened by how close Zeke had come to the truth. She
had
been afraid to trust people, so she'd used them, making her almost as bad as her father. But she'd had no other choice. She did it to survive. She spun on her heel and headed back to camp. She probably ought to ask Gardner to accompany them to Tombstone so Zeke and Hawk could go straight to their ranch.
But she wouldn't do that. Despite their inability to be together without fighting, she trusted Zeke. She didn't trust Gardner's silver tongue, but that didn't mean she wouldn't use his interest in her to get a job. Life wasn't easy for women who entertained miners.
“Where's Zeke?” Suzette asked when Josie returned to the campsite alone.
“Probably trying to forget he ever met me.”
Suzette was seated close to the fire, her knees drawn up under her chin, her arms wrapped around her legs. “Is it possible for you two not to fight for the rest of this trip? Hawk says we ought to reach Benson in four days. From there we could make it to Tombstone by ourselves.”
Josie strode around the fire, her skirt swishing angrily around her legs. “I'm sure Zeke wouldn't fight if I didn't drive him to it.”
Suzette's gaze narrowed. “I've never seen you act like this.”
Josie stopped in her tracks. “You make it sound like a lovers' quarrel.”
Suzette's smile was wry. “I certainly hope this isn't how you'll act when you fall in love.”
“I'm
never
going to fall in love.” She started circling
the fire again. “I thought Hawk and Gardner would be back by now.”
“You know what men are like when they start talking about horses.”
“No, I don't. How are they?”
Suzette shrugged, but Josie thought she saw the suggestion of a smile.
“They get so involved they can't stop. Sometimes I think it's their substitute for talking about women. There are lots of things they can't say about a woman, even to another man, but there's nothing you can't say about a horse. I've seen men go glassy-eyed talking about a mare's limbs, her shoulder, her rump, her breeding potential. And the whole time they're running their hands all over the poor horse.”
Josie looked at her friend in dismay, only to realize Suzette's eyes were twinkling with merriment. “You awful woman. You were kidding me the whole time, making me think terrible things.”
“I would never do such a thing.” But Suzette could barely manage to protest without laughing.
“I never knew you were such a dishonest woman.” But Josie's accusation lacked conviction. She wasn't immune to the laughter in Suzette's eyes. Giving in to the impulse, she dropped down next to her friend. “What prompted you to say something like that?”
Suzette leaned toward Josie until their shoulders touched. “It stopped you from thinking about Zeke, didn't it?”
Josie sobered. “For a few seconds.”
“Well, don't start again. Put your mind to work figuring out how we're going to get the best possible deal from Mr. Gardner.”
“Do you think he really owns part of the Birdcage?”
Suzette turned to Josie. “Don't you?”
“I don't know what reason he would have to lie about something so easily disproved, but Zeke keeps telling me not to trust him.”
“Zeke is jealous.”
“No, he's not!”
“I'm not saying he's in love with you, but no man likes to have another man show up and monopolize the attention of a woman he previously had all to himself.”
“Considering what he thinks of me, I'm surprised he wasn't delighted.”
Josie didn't believe she could have been so wrong about a man's feelings for her. She prided herself on knowing exactly the effect she was having on a man, or men in general. It was what made her successful. If she'd misjudged Zeke, then it was possible she'd misjudged other men in the past.
Zeke's return kept Josie from asking Suzette why she thought Zeke liked her, but she made a mental note to ask her as soon as they were alone. The possibility that she'd made a mistake in judgment bothered her almost as much as this inexplicable attraction she had for Zeke.
“Hawk and Gardner not back yet?” Zeke asked Josie.
“Nope. You ready to go to sleep?”
“No. Just wondering what they could be talking about for so long.”
Almost as if they knew they were being talked about, Hawk appeared out of the night, followed closely by Gardner.
“That's a fine group of mares you boys have,” Gardner
said to Zeke. “I'm surprised you managed to find them, much less talk their owners into selling.”
“A lot of people owe us favors,” Zeke said. “And when that fails, there's always cash.”
Gardner laughed easily. “I expect you had to hand over quite a bit of that.”
“No more than we had,” Zeke replied.
Josie thought Gardner's questions were getting a bit too personal, but she was relieved Zeke didn't appear to be upset. It certainly would be a relief if he could be so reasonable for the rest of the trip.
Hawk poured coffee into his cup, swallowed the hot liquid without waiting for it to cool, then hung his cup on a mesquite branch. “The horses are quiet, but I don't like to leave them alone. I'll see you in the morning.”
“Aren't you going with him?” Gardner asked Zeke.
“I sleep next to the wagon.”
“I thought since I'm here you wouldn't have to stay.”
“Hawk doesn't need my help. And if he does, he'll call. Now, I'm bedding down between the fire and the wagon. You got the rest of the ground to choose from.”
“I guess that means I don't get to sleep in the wagon?”
It was obvious Gardner was trying to make a joke, but Zeke set about laying out his bedroll as though he hadn't spoken. Tired of the tension between the two men, Josie turned to Suzette. “I'm worn out.”
Suzette got to her feet. “Me, too. I'd forgotten how tiring it can be to ride all day.”
Josie didn't think it could be as tiring as being caught between Zeke and Gardner. She was looking forward to a full night without having to deal with any
man. The only problem was that she couldn't stop thinking about Zeke. Last night he'd even invaded her dreams. No man was that important to her. She simply wouldn't allow it.
Suzette waited outside the wagon until Josie got settled. There wasn't a lot of room inside, so it was easier if both of them weren't trying to move around at the same time. She didn't mind, because the wait gave her a few moments to think back over the day.
She recalled how all during breakfast that morning Zeke had practically walked on eggshells to keep from upsetting Josie. He hadn't complained when Suzette wordlessly helped him clean up, and just as silently helped him harness the mules to the wagon. He kept up a steady conversation, answering his own questions when necessary. If there hadn't been so much tension in the atmosphere, it would have been funny.
Suzette had looked back at the wagon several times during the day, but all her hopes of seeing Zeke and Josie talking together in a relaxed and pleasant way came to nothing.
“Zeke did all the cooking,” Josie had announced after breakfast. “He said I wasn't used to cooking over a fire yet, that I didn't know how to keep grit or ash from getting into the food.”
Josie appeared to be taking the criticism in stride, but Suzette had never known Josie to take
any
criticism well. She just hoped the two of them could get along a little better from now on. The sexual tension between them at breakfast had given her a knot in her
stomach. There would be no living with Josie until she figured out her feelings for Zeke.
But most of her thoughts were about Hawk. The longer she was around him, the more she saw of him, the stronger her attraction to him became. In almost no time at all it was threatening to become an obsession. She had felt a strong physical desire for several men since her husband's death, but she'd been able to handle it without any undue strain. Why was it so different with Hawk?
During the day they'd been separated by the mares, but once they stopped, there was no distance separating them. She could see him when she looked up, stand close to him, even bump into him. Sometimes, when their eyes met, he would smile at her. Whenever that happened, something inside her would turn over and she'd feel almost light-headed. At the same time, she could feel heat stir in her belly. Once that morning, her limbs felt so weak she'd grabbed the saddle horn to steady herself. Though she relished the time they spent looking for good graze, and picketing and hobbling the horses for the night, she had been relieved when they went to the wagon for supper.
“You can climb in now,” Josie called. “I'm all settled.”
It was so dark inside the wagon, Suzette had to feel around with her hands to find the small trunk that contained most of her clothes. She had to choose the items she wanted by texture. Experience had taught her to separate her clothes into piles in the morning when she got dressed, but tonight she wasn't looking for her nightgown. Instead, she searched for and found the quilt Laurie's mother had given them. Next
she took the two blankets Josie wasn't using. “I'm going to sleep out tonight,” she said.
Josie sat up. “Why? There's plenty of room in the wagon.”
They were friends and partners, but Suzette wasn't ready to discuss her real reasons. “I feel guilty letting the men sleep on the ground while we sleep on a soft bed in the wagon.”
“They
want
us to sleep in the wagon because it's safer.”
“Maybe, but my mind's made up.” She was relieved it was impossible to see Josie's expression in the darkness. Or for Josie to see her expression. She was certain the truth was written all over her face.
“You won't be able to sleep on the ground. It's too hard.”
“I'll have to learn.” She felt around until she found a small canvas tarp to put under her to keep moisture from seeping into her bedding. “If I get too miserable, I can always come back.”
“Are you sure about this?” Only one question was asked, but many were implied.
“Yes.” She wasn't, but she'd made her decision.
“Come back if you change your mind.”