He
Now that we have those vegetable stem cells, we can grow anything from scratch, without having to
propagate.
I know I shouldn't object to what happened in the VR, but I can't help feeling that the story's
making it hard to be professional. I mean, how can you supervise someone you've mated with and whose child you've borne against your will?
She
Poor Campion, I thought he was going to have a fit when he realised that he was pregnant.
He
I'm an experienced enough traveller to know that you lose all dignity on a space trip. But that's usually to do with toilet matters, not being banished to a forest with your student, turned into an animal and forced to reproduce.
Mind you, the birth was kind of interesting. I've often wondered what it feels like to have a baby. Though I guess that bearing a fawn doesn't quite count. Animals are better at it than women; they seem to suffer less pain. Even that was enough. But I never even lay down, just stood. And oh, the baby's sweet aroma when he came out!
She
So Campion and I are parents! And when the year of being deer was over, we went back to Math and showed him the fawn.
He
What's amazing, though, in all this, is that the
sensations of being a mother were so much more
sophisticated than they should be, given the primitive VR equipment we were wearing. I can't understand it. How did I know to lick the fawn's faeces and urine in order to hide his scent? It's as if instinct was wired into the game in a way I can't explain.
She
And Math seemed pleased and touched the fawn.
And suddenly there he was, a lovely strong boy,
much larger than he should be for his age. Though I suppose, I'd been counting in deer, not human, time.
He
I was horrified when Math turned the boy into a human child. That made it real, somehow. While we were in the forest, we were just animals. I was glad
when Math sent the boy away to be baptised and
fostered.
I wanted nothing to do with the creature.
6
Breeding Season
Joint Thought Channel 3 Feb 2210, 09:00
Apprentice
I still don't think it's fair that I've got to be Gilfaethwy
this time.
You said you'd keep me from being sexually
molested again. I don't want to be the female like you were last time.
Inspector of
Wrecks
As far as sex goes, we're quits. You've been raped, I've been topped by a buck. Look, we don't know what will happen
next. You've just as good a chance of being safe in
Gilfaethwy as anybody else.
Apprentice
Like hell.
Inspector of
Wrecks
What was that? If I thought you were being insubordinate, you'd be back on Mars in a trice.
Apprentice
No, no, I wasn't. Please don't send me back.
Inspector of
Wrecks
There are lots of people who would give their right arm for this opportunityâ¦
Apprentice
OK, OK. I'll take Gilfaethwy, even if it means being
punished some more.
Inspector of
Wrecks
It's got nothing to do with what happened last time. I need to be Gwydion because it's looking more and more likely that he's the Mastermind. And if we can find his domain, then there's a chance that its archaeology will show us what happened on board this ship. After all, we have nothing else to go on.
Apprentice
Right.
Inspector of
Wrecks
Now I don't want to waste any more precious VR time
arguing. There's a limit to how long we can spend in this mode. Are you ready?
Apprentice
I am. Let's go.
Inspector of
Wrecks
Oh, the forest again. Looks just like before. Except taller. And the smells, if anything, are even stronger.
Apprentice
It's not that the trees have grown, it's that we're shorter. Look!
Inspector of
Wrecks
So we are. We're back to being animals.
Apprentice
Looking at you, I'd say we were some species of wild boar.
Inspector of
Wrecks
Doesn't the soil smell sexy? I can't keep my snout out of the humusâ¦
Apprentice
I don't want to be the bearer of bad newsâ¦
Inspector of
Wrecks
Can you smell that fungus? Quick, I'm sure there are
truffles under this oak. Dig!
Apprentice
But it seems to me that I'm the taller of us twoâ¦
Inspector of
Wrecks
You're obviously not as sensitive to scent as I am, I'm a champion hunter. Here! Look! I've found the delicacy, which I snuffle, scoff.
Apprentice
Math has swapped our roles around this year. Gwydion, who was the male last time is now the sow. And Gil
faethwy's taking his turn as a male, so that both brothers
get to learn what it is to bear young. Oh, that's funny.
Inspector of
Wrecks
What are you saying?
Apprentice
Because you swapped roles, you get to be the female again. And you know what happened last time. We're meant to breed!
You get to bear the young! That'll teach you to cheat!
Inspector of
Wrecks
If I were you, I'd change your tone of voice.
Apprentice
Sorry.
Inspector of
Wrecks
Of course, it's perfectly fine with me to be female again. I suppose the idea is that I bear another child. Well, Math will dispose of it as he did the other. Can't even remember its name. Hyddwn or something. Never see it again, I hope.
Apprentice
That's a bit heartless, even for a sow. To bring a child into the world and then abandon it gladly.
Inspector of
Wrecks
I never wanted it, so why should I care?
Apprentice
Because, even if it is a fawn, it's our flesh and blood and we created him.
Inspector of
Wrecks
I think you're forgetting that this is a computer game.
Apprentice
Even in a game, some things are sacred.
Inspector of
Wrecks
Hark at you! Body of a boar, mind of a woman!
Apprentice
But if it's like last time, Math will turn our animal
offspring into a human child. Doesn't that mean anything to you? I'm sure it's important. After all, we're in here not to play but to find out what happened on board this ship. Working out the values of the crew from the VR has got to be part of the job.
Inspector of
Wrecks
At this point, I'm thinking it's just a game, with these ridiculous forays into animal nature.
We're not even close to the part of the programme I want to find.
Apprentice
But surely this section contains relevant information. The crew was human, so it must signify something that the animal young are turned into boys.
Inspector of
Wrecks
I think you're mistaking pseudo-medieval fancifulness for actual data. This is all decorative.
Apprentice
But it feels so much more real than it needs to be. Why would they waste resources on something that doesn't mean anything?
Take how we feel in here, it's breathtaking. I'm finding the forest floor so delightful that it's arousing. The excitement reaches around my bowels, and I shit where I stand, with the thrill of just being here.
Have you got over your snit at being the sow?
Inspector of
Wrecks
I'll ignore that remark. What's really shocking is how easy it is to revert to being animal.
Apprentice
Those early VRs usually made people into more evolved
beings than they actually were. This one goes backwards, down the evolutionary scale. It's actually much more interesting.
Inspector of
Wrecks
It has its pleasures. Even otter scat tells me a story.
Apprentice
Except that our offspring will be turned into a human child, remember. It's as if we're beginning to generate a story quite independent of what we're experiencing now.
Inspector of
Wrecks
That's the imagination for you. Look at the detail! I must say, you have a particularly fine set of nape bristles. Quite handsome.
Apprentice
Thanks. You don't look bad yourself, I love the little wiggly tail.
Inspector of
Wrecks
Here's a particularly fragrant patch of mud. Care to roll with me?
Apprentice
What about our mission? This is too much like fun.
Inspector of
Wrecks
I don't see anything else to do but go with the flow at this point. Got any better ideas?
Apprentice
What's that noise?
Inspector of
Wrecks
I can smell humans. They know where we are.
Apprentice
Oh, no, dogs! It's a hunt!
Follow me! I know where the underbrush is thick and they can't follow. That's the joy of having such short,
powerful legs, we can run to the undergrowth and use
brambles and nettles as cover.
Inspector of
Wrecks
We've got to survive this, or we'll never get out of the forest!
Apprentice
Don't worry, humans are no match for wild pigs, especially ones which have human minds. Remember, if all else is lost and you're cornered, wild boars have been known to charge and attack their pursuers.
Inspector of
Wrecks
I'll see you back at the mud patch in half an hour, when we've lost the hunters.
Tally ho!
*
Synapse Log 3 Feb 2210, 23:45
Inspector of
Wrecks
Hychddwn, Hychddwn. Can't get the name out of my head, or how the little boy went so obediently with Math. He left us without one look backwards. I felt quite hurt, given that⦠oh well, never mind. After all, it's just VR, isn't it?
Nona's turned out to have a natural ability in the game. It's much more old-fashioned than the stuff the kids are playing these days, but she's got the
knack of standing a little aside from what she's
experiencing. I must say I'm beginning to rate her comments. Though she's cheeky and I can't have that. But what's the use of caring about discipline? I'm through. She won't be working with me but in the new unit. Still, it's important not to let standards slip, even now.
I might give her more scope in the VR as we go on. She's perceptive. And it's good to have another pair of eyes on the interior landscape of the ship. It's been a long time since I worked closely with somebody else. I'm beginning to like it.
Are you lonely, you old fool?
Reason I chose this job was so that I wouldn't have to manage other people. So that I could follow my own train of thought without interference.
So what am I facing now when I retire? A solitary cell. As much of my own company as I want. To come back home and know that everything will be in exactly the place my own hand left it. Doesn't sound quite so good as it used to. Still, I worked hard all my life to make things that way. I chose it.
Stupid, I'm feeling a little low. Must be the effect of seeing that kid going off with Math. Think I'll look out of the porthole for a while. That always cheers me up, puts things in the right perspective.
No, I won't look down on Mars but out into space. I like the way they put a telescope at each of the windows on this ship. It lets you view the skies at any wavelength you choose, so that you can see the full range of what's out there. My favourite is the infrared. There, that's adjusted. No, I'm not interested in the black but in the dense areas of stars, the parts of the sky so speckled with light that it looks like an inflamed rash, as if the whole universe were in a fever.
Oh, and look over there. Filigree gas and clouds from a nebula, dense as the petals of a rose. With shock waves reaching far into the pulsing sky.