The melody in our hearts (29 page)

“It was…perfect,” she whispered, still daydreaming, and this time it was Karen who giggled.

“You’re
so
in love, aren’t you?” Valerie nodded, and Karen noticed the look in her eyes: It was the same look Valerie had had all of her life, every time Ryan was near. She had always known that those two would end up together one day, despite what they kept saying about being nothing more than friends. She and Kevin had always known this day would come, and she was glad they had been right in the end. “But what happened to the brother-and-sister kind of relationship? How did things between the two of you change, if they ever were like that?”

Valerie shrugged. “You know they were; I’ve always considered Ryan the big brother I’d never had, and I knew I was like a little sister for him. But when I was holding his heart in my hands, when I realized that I was never going to be able to see his smile again, hold his hand, feel his arms around me, well…it just hit me hard. I realized that, if he died, I would kill myself because my life without him would mean nothing, nothing at all. And, apparently, he felt the same. He said he heard me call his name, and he came back from Heaven to be with me.”

“Wow….” Karen said, bringing a hand to her heart. “This is, like, what true love’s all about, isn’t it? I mean, Kevin and I, we’re head-over-heels in love now, yes, but when it all started it was, like, all about great sex and having fun together. Love came after a few months. But you guys, this is like a fairy tale. It’s so romantic!”

“All about great sex, huh? That’s gross, Karen, spare me the details, will ya!”

“But it was! It still is, as a matter of fact. Well, whatever,” she stopped when she saw Valerie wrinkle her nose, feigning disgust. “So I guess he finally dumped his long-legged, super-skinny girlfriend for you?”

Valerie nodded, feeling strangely happy about not having to ever see Jennifer again and knowing that Ryan was now officially hers only.

“And he’s going to leave the music business and apply for a job at Berklee; he’s tired of being a celebrity. He wants to be with me and be free to be himself and write his music.”

“Wow, that’s an important decision! If he’s willing to leave it all behind just for you, well, Valerie, the guy’s got it pretty bad for you.”

“And I for him,” she whispered, bringing her mug to her lips and sighing.

“Aww! You’re so cute, Doctor Fogarty!” Karen giggled and patted her shoulder mockingly. “I’m so glad you two finally opened your eyes. Kevin and I were running out of ideas to make you two get together.” Valerie stared quizzically at her and she shrugged, gulping down the other half of her coffee. “Well, a close proximity to death wasn’t something we had thought of but, well, since it worked….”

Valerie was just about to say something when she heard her name being called, so she stood up, put the mug in the sink and, after telling Karen she’d see her later, she ran out of the room, leaving Karen to giggle on her own, thinking how odd love was.

~
Fifty
~

Valerie had had a long, tough day, but as soon as Ryan opened the door wearing a gorgeous smile, she felt all of her worries and events of the day suddenly dissipate like snowflakes in warm water.

Two weeks had already gone by since she had gone back to surgery and, although it was tough, she realized she’d never been this happy when she was in the ER: Surgery was her life, her mission, and she could endure the longest shifts without complaint. After hearing about the way she had saved Ryan’s life, the chief surgeon had spoken to the hospital manager, and they had both asked Valerie to leave the ER and go back to cardiac surgery; she had taken a couple of days to think it through, although she knew she would eventually accept. Working in the ER was okay, but now that she didn’t get panic attacks passing by the operating room anymore, she was actually looking forward to be a surgeon again, to saving lives and doing what she had studied for. So in the end she had accepted, and Ryan had been the happiest about her decision, as well as Karen, who was glad to have her back in her ward.

Valerie stepped in and flung herself at him, taking his face in her hands and kissing him slowly, tasting the sweet flavor of wine on his tongue.

“Hmm….” he said, when she eventually pulled back. “What was that for?”

She shrugged. “I had a tough day. I needed to feel you close. Why, do you mind?”

“Not at all!” he said, shaking his head vehemently. “I only wish you had more tough days, then!” He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, squeezing her, and she let the sound of his heartbeat lull her and the familiar, reassuring smell of his cologne calm her nerves.

“You taste like wine: Have you been celebrating without me?” she asked, her head buried in his sweatshirt.

“I popped a bottle for our dinner, and I had to taste it to make sure it was all right.” He kissed the top of her head, and she suddenly felt light years away from the hospital, the operating room, and all her everyday problems. “So,” he continued, stroking her back gently. “What happened at work? Did something go wrong?”

“Four-hour double coronary artery bypass, and we almost lost the patient. She’s fine now, but it was tough.”

“No kidding!” He brushed a lock of hair from her eye and tucked it behind her ear. “But try to leave it all behind now because your shift is over and you’re off tomorrow. Let’s just enjoy tonight, just you and me and no hospital between us. Come with me – I have a cure for you, Doc.”

He pulled her toward the kitchen, and she noticed lots of pans and kitchen utensils in the sink, while a lovely smell of salmon lingered in the room in spite of the scented candles he had lit, and she was suddenly teleported back into her Irish home, when Grandma Maureen used to make salmon for her.

When he turned back, he was holding two goblets of sparkling white wine and she smiled, taking the one he was offering.

“There’s nothing a glass of good Chardonnay can’t fix,” he said, winking as he clinked his glass with hers.

“When did you become an alcoholic, Ryan?”

He laughed, shaking his head, and took a sip from his glass.

“A glass of good wine always helped after a long day of interviews, fan meetings, and rehearsals. But I never really drank more than one, so you don’t have to worry about me going into rehab.”

“I should very well hope so, mister. I don’t want to date an ex jazz star with low self-esteem and alcoholism issues.”

“I see you have a very high opinion of me!” he said, feigning offense. “And here I was thinking you loved me and making you a nice, romantic dinner.”

She put the goblet back on the table and closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around his neck and standing on tip-toes to kiss him.

“Of course I love you,” she whispered, her lips brushing his. “I just want to make sure you’re okay with leaving it all behind. Music’s always been your life: Are you sure you’re not rushing things?”

“I’m not. I’m happy with how things are now; being a jazz star wasn’t so exciting. After all, it kept me away from you, and I want to have you around every day now. So,” he said, staring at her with a smile and clearly wanting to change the subject. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m starving! What’s on the menu?”

“Irish salmon,” he said, proudly. “I thought you might be needing some good food after your double-shift.”

She took a step toward him and kissed him unexpectedly, long and slow, thinking how much she loved him and how lucky she was to have him.

“Wow,” he said, taking a deep breath when she finally pulled back. “If this is what I get for cooking salmon, what will you do if I make you a three-course meal?”

“Who knows….” She grinned and stroked his cheek, which was soft and smooth compared to the last time she had stroked it, the previous day. She had been working almost a full day non-stop, and she realized she hadn’t seen him since the previous morning, when he had gone out to Berklee to speak to the dean and had kissed her goodbye while she was still half-asleep.

“Go make yourself comfortable now. I’ll finish cooking and we can have dinner whenever you’re ready.”

She disappeared into the ensuite bathroom for a long, hot shower and when she walked out into their bedroom, she felt renewed. The thought of having a whole day off tomorrow and a nice, quiet dinner with Ryan came as a relief after such a tough day, and she was really looking forward to it all. She put on her favorite tracksuit and let her hair down, combing it with her fingers and fixing it behind her ears.

As she reached Ryan in the kitchen, she gasped in surprise, mesmerized by the wonderful atmosphere he had created: A vase with fresh daisies sat in the middle of the table, and two candles on each side of it lit the room. The napkins were neatly arranged and the salmon was already on the plates, surrounded by roasted potatoes and green salad; she felt her stomach grumble, and she realized she hadn’t eaten anything since midday.

She loved the way Ryan always looked after her and seemed to know every time what it was she needed; with her crazy working hours and shifts, sometimes she was so tired that the last thing she wanted to do when she got home was cook something. But Ryan always made sure she was well-fed, and he’d make sure she’d find croissants or muffins when her night shift was over, or order a pizza or take-out when she got home at night after a long day shift. She had moved in with him days after he had been released, and she had never regretted it. Karen had moved in with Kevin weeks before Ryan had had the accident, and she couldn’t afford to pay the rent all on her own, but she didn’t look forward to having another roommate. Ryan’s apartment was closer to the hospital and much bigger. Besides, even though she had thought it might be too soon, he had made her realize that they had known each other for basically all of their lives and there wasn’t a thing that either of them didn’t know about the other. He had been right, as usual, because the thought of going back to an empty apartment didn’t really compare to coming home to a cozy place where the love of her life was waiting for her. She knew she was never going to need anyone else in her life, and he was the only one who had ever made her feel whole, so all of her doubts had disappeared as quickly as they had formed, as soon as Ryan had kissed her and looked into her eyes.

“Hmm…I see you’ve dressed up for our romantic dinner….” he teased, interrupting her reveries, and she looked up, blushing hard.

“Sorry,” she apologized, looking down at her baggy tracksuit. “I just needed to be comfortable after wearing scrubs all day.”

He laughed and closed the distance between them, taking her in his arms.

“I was kidding, you eejit.” he said, nuzzling her neck. “And I think you’re quite sexy anyway, even in a tracksuit.”

She laughed, shaking her head and enjoying his cuddles, before her stomach started grumbling again and they both understood cuddles would have to wait.

~
Fifty-one
~

When dinner was over, he objected to her helping him clean up and asked her to simply sit down and relax while he finished. She was too tired to argue, so she simply kissed his cheek and went to the living room, slumping down on the couch and closing her eyes for a moment, inhaling the sweet scent of roses that came from the candles he had placed all around the house.

He switched the kitchen light off and saw she was sprawled across the couch, probably close to falling asleep, and he guessed the romantic night he had planned for them would have to be postponed.

“You wanna watch a movie?” he asked, not sure if she was already asleep.

“Just put on one of Frank’s CDs and come over here: I need cuddles.”

He chuckled and switched the stereo on, adjusting the volume and walking toward the couch; she lifted her legs up so that he could sit, and then she rested them on his.

She stroked his cheek and he smiled, making all of her weariness suddenly disappear; she would never tire of seeing his beautiful smile light up his face – it was like the sun in her life.

“
Moon river
” started playing and she closed her eyes, remembering that rainy July afternoon seventeen years before.

“You wanna go to sleep?” he whispered, thinking she was tired, and she opened her eyes, shaking her head.

“I was just… reminiscing.” He stared quizzically at her and she smiled. “‘Moon river’ was playing at the Club the day I first met you.”

“Really? I don’t remember.”

“I do. I remember every detail of that day, the day my life changed forever. It still feels like yesterday, although we were just kids.”

He chuckled and stroked her hair, her beautiful, soft hair he loved so much running his fingers through.

“Do you remember the first time we danced at the Club? I think it was a Sinatra song, wasn’t it? You were too shy and didn’t want people to make fun of you, so I had to drag you on the dance floor.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I remember. I felt silly and clumsy, but once I was in your arms, everything changed. I’ve always felt safe and warm in your arms.”