The Mill House (31 page)

'No, but we can ask,' Fen replied, picking up her mobile and speed-dialling Tilde's number.

A few minutes later, after some close quizzing and note-taking, Fen rang off and returned her gaze to Julia. 'Apparently she was quite young, fortyish, which is young to dear Tilde, plump, wore a purple-coloured dress that might have been brown, had short, dark hair, cut a bit like a pageboy, and drove a light blue or silver car. I can see this is ringing some bells.'

Julia's expression was incredulous. 'Apart from the car,' she said, 'the only person I know who comes close to fitting that description is my sister.'

Julia was still wide awake, staring into the moonlit darkness, when she heard Shannon coming in downstairs. She barely registered it, however, for her thoughts were entirely focused on Josh, and how much she was regretting the way she'd cut him short when he'd called, half an hour ago, to find out how she was. But she'd been too exhausted for another row, which she'd felt almost certain would happen, so she'd told him it was better that they both got some sleep and spoke in the morning.

Now, as the minutes ticked by, and the reality of his affair grew larger and larger in her mind, a desperate urgency was coming over her to call him, to make him swear that he still loved her, and that he despised Sylvia and regretted every moment he'd ever spent with her. But her mobile lay untouched, not only because she wouldn't allow herself to beg, but because she was afraid of finding his line busy. If it was, she knew she'd

convince herself he was talking to Sylvia, and already she was imagining what they'd be saying to each other, how intimate they might be, and what form their masturbation might take. Denial and rage made her push her face into the pillow, as though she could block the hideous images from her mind, but she could still hear Josh's voice, see every part of him, and even feel how much he must be wishing he was in New York now. The pain of it rose up like a fire to engulf her, and in despair and fury she struggled hard not to scream. He couldn't be doing this, he just couldn't. She had to make him stop because the pain, the jealousy and the fear of where it might lead was tearing her apart.

Dimly aware that her own imagination was tormenting her even more cruelly than the truth, she made herself sit up and take several deep breaths. She needed to regain some control, for she was becoming almost obsessed with the thought of them together, and if she carried on like this she was going to end up saying or doing something she'd bitterly regret. So in an attempt to blot it from her mind she tried focusing on her sister for a while, which brought no comfort, but it was still a welcome distraction.

Though she'd left several messages throughout the evening, Pam hadn't yet deigned to call back, and considering how little love was lost between them, Julia didn't imagine that even telling her it was urgent would particularly rouse her. So, for the time being at least, she was left wondering what might have brought Pam here six weeks ago - if indeed it was her whom Tilde had seen -

and if it was, how had she known where their father lived?

Finally accepting that no answers were going to present themselves tonight, about anything, she decided to try and let it all go till morning. God only knew what would happen when she spoke to Josh, but she could at least call Pam again, or hopefully Pam would call her. In the meantime, Shannon was knocking on the door.

'Are you awake Mum?' she whispered, putting her head round. 'Can I come in?'

Reaching out to turn on the lamp, Julia struggled up against the pillows, and grunted as Shannon all but threw herself on top of her.

'I had the most fantastic time,' she sighed ecstatically as she rolled back on the bed and spread out her arms. 'I absolutely love it here, Mum. It's so cool. Don't you love it here?'

In spite of the heaviness in her heart, Julia was regarding her with a knowing smile. 'So did you kiss him?' she asked, wishing her own life could be so uncomplicated and pure.

Shannon's head came up. 'No! I did not,' she cried. 'You told me I wasn't allowed to.'

'You're not,' Julia confirmed. 'But I take it you had a good time anyway?'

'The best. Ottie's friends are so cool. They're like really switched-on and they're into all the same kinds of things as me, like the same music, and stuff. Can I learn to play tennis, Mum? I mean, I know I didn't like it before, but everyone's going over there tomorrow, and I really want to go too. Please say I can. They've all got their mocks coming up, and their parents are allowing it.'

Julia was stroking her hair, and gazing into her lovely, fresh young face. 'OK,' she said.

Shannon could hardly believe she'd won without a fight. 'I love you, Mum,' she declared. 'You're the best mum in all the world. I told Dad that when he called me earlier.'

Julia's heart immediately reacted. 'You did?' she said. What did he say?'

'He said he knew.'

Feeling a surge of longing for him, Julia closed her eyes and let the warmth of it spread all the way through her. 'How's Dan?' she asked, looking at Shannon again. 'He'd had a row with Gavin the last time I spoke to him.'

'I think it's all sorted out now, but Dad really can't stand that boy. Nor can I. He's just a bully, and he doesn't deserve to have Dan as a friend.'

Julia winced, as Shannon shifted round to lie next to her. 'I thought you'd like what Dad said about you,' she said, settling her head on Julia's shoulder. 'He really loves you, Mum, I know he does. I think you've just got to be a bit nicer to him and then everything will be all right again.'

Julia was listening and smiling, and thinking that there was nothing quite like receiving advice on her love life from her teenage daughter, particularly when Shannon didn't know the half of what had gone on. Nor did Julia want her to, for there was nothing in the world to be gained from destroying Shannon's illusions where her father was concerned 'So with all this talk of Ottie's friends, am I to understand that someone else has replaced Rico in your affections?' she asked hopefully.

Shannon sighed long and forlornly. 'No,' she replied, picking up Julia's hand and twisting her wedding ring. 'I really, really like him, Mum. I mean, I know he's too old for me now, but lots of people marry someone ten years older than them, don't they?'

'It might be a little early to be thinking about marriage,' Julia said softly.

'But I'll be sixteen soon. It'll be OK then.'

Easily able to understand her infatuation, and remembering just how intense it could be at that age, Julia gave her a squeeze, and said, 'Time for bed now. We can talk some more in the morning.'

Shannon got as far as the door before turning back with a worried look on her face. 'You're not going to stop me seeing him, now I've told you that, are you?' she asked.

Julia smiled. 'No, but I do want you to remember your promise that you won't do anything you shouldn't.'

Shannon brightened. 'I will remember and I won't, I promise,' she said. 'Love you, sweet dreams.'

'Love you too,' Julia responded, and reaching out to turn off the light, she closed her eyes, hoping that sleep might come quickly to release her from the ready torment of her conscious mind.

Chapter Eleven

Josh was laughing quietly into the phone as Sylvia regaled him with some of the more lurid details of a party she'd just left in New York. Since she was talking about several people he knew, he was easily able to picture the scene she was describing, and even hear the outrage in one publisher's voice as he'd publicly insulted another.

Though it was still only seven in the morning, making it two a.m. in New York, they'd already been on the line for over half an hour, and since Dan was still asleep below decks there didn't seem to be any reason to ring off yet. Besides, at some point he intended to try again to persuade her that she really did have to stop calling.

Twenty minutes later they were still talking, laughing as they discussed how to handle an awkward situation that had arisen between Sylvia and her American agent. He didn't imagine she couldn't negotiate it without his input, but since she seemed to be valuing it, he saw no reason not to advise her. And from there the conversation

seemed to flow on quite naturally to various deals he'd pulled off in recent times, some of which she claimed to be impressed by, while she teased him playfully about others.

Ignoring the fact that someone had been trying to get through for some time, he continued to listen, occasionally chuckling as she applied her caustic wit to descriptions of people neither of them much cared for, and the various encounters she'd had with them, until finally she yawned sleepily and said, 'Well, as much as I'd love to spend the whole night lying here talking to you, my darling, I've got a breakfast meeting at eight, so I think it's time to ring off. I'll call again when I wake up.'

Though he started to protest about her calling later, he found himself lacking the words, since there had been nothing sexual, or even particularly intimate about this morning's call - they'd simply been chatting like old friends who had a lot in common, and who enjoyed each other's humour, so to make any objection to speaking again seemed inappropriate, and even petty.

After they'd said goodbye, he slipped back down through the hatch, and after looking in on Dan who was still fast asleep, he put on some coffee then checked his messages. He suspected there would be several, for the line had been almost constantly bleeping towards the end of his call. He wasn't surprised to find that one was from Julia, letting him know that she'd woken up early and just wanted to hear his voice, and another was from Marina asking him to get back to her the minute he could. There were also several more

calls with no messages, two easily identified from Julia, the others only coming up as private numbers.

Already feeling wretched for having to lie to Julia about whom he'd been speaking to for so long, and so early in the morning, he decided to put it off tor the moment, and call Marina first.

'What are you doing in the office at this hour?' he asked when she answered.

'I can get a lot done before the phones start,' she reminded him. 'I assume you've been on the line to Tim Roper all this time,' she added, referring to the American author who'd sacked his publisher the day before.

Taken aback, he said, 'It's three o'clock in the morning over there, he'd hardly be calling me now.' Then realising the unidentified numbers were probably Roper's, he said, 'What's happened ?'

'I'm sure you won't be surprised to hear he's on one of his benders. I won't repeat what he intends to do to his publisher, his New York agent and the world's press, just suffice it to say, you're the only one he feels he can trust, and he wants you over there now!'

Josh stiffened, then immediately began shaking his head. 'It's just not possible,' he said. 'I told you yesterday...'

'And I told him, though I didn't mention the divorce bit but he's absolutely insisting you go over there, or you're fired too.'

Though he wasn't at all sure he intended to go, Josh was already frantically searching his mind for a way to sell this to Julia, as if such a possibility

actually existed. 'What time did you last speak to him?' he asked.

'About five minutes ago. He might well have passed out by now, because he certainly sounded on the verge of it.'

'We can always hope,' he responded, turning to pour himself a coffee. 'Look, I've got a big day on with Dan today. There's no way I can let him down, so let's give Roper some time to sleep things off, and I'll speak to him later, see if his problems can be dealt with over the phone.'

'Meanwhile, shall I go ahead and check out the availability of flights for tomorrow?' she asked.

Reminding himself that his conscience was clear over this, for Roper's drink problem was not in his control, he said, 'OK, but don't book anything yet, and if Roper calls you before me, remind him that other people have lives too.'

As he rang off he finished pouring his coffee, then turned to watch a bleary-eyed Dan climbing out of his berth.

'Who were you talking to?' Dan asked, yawning as he came into the cabin.

'Marina. Mum's called a couple of times, do you want to call her back?'

He nodded and yawned again as he took the mobile. 'Can I have some orange juice first?' he asked.

'Of course. Then I'll make you some porridge.'

It wasn't that he was avoiding speaking to Julia, exactly, he just wanted her to be fully mindful of the fact that Dan was around when he floated the possibility of having to dash over to New York.

Julia had no idea whether it was because she'd drunk too much wine last night, or because she was coming down with some kind of flu, but her stomach was rejecting everything this morning, even water, her head was pounding, she was cold, shivery and so numbingly tired that she'd already decided, once she'd spoken to Josh and Dan, she was going straight back to bed.

Since Shannon had dashed off early to go riding with Ottie, she'd been alone in the kitchen, tidying up from last night, and repeatedly trying to get hold of Josh. Though she dreaded the reason for how long his line had been busy, she'd somehow forced herself to stay calm, but as she carried a hot lemon drink to the table now, and sat down next to the phone, she was feeling so anxious and nervous that she was actually afraid to pick it up.