The More I See You (26 page)

She learned a great deal about Richard that night and one important thing about herself.

She was in love with him.

It was ridiculous and fraught with complications she didn’t even want to begin to think about, but she couldn’t seem to help herself.

Richard stood with his back resting comfortably against the wall and watched the goings-on in his bailey. And somehow, he just wasn’t surprised by the sight of his latest acquisition gearing up for battle. Apparently his priest was ready to begin his ministrations.

And Richard suspected he was the priest’s prey.

He watched the lad fondle his robes as if to give himself courage. Richard didn’t wait until the boy had summoned up enough boldness to cross the bailey. He glared at him from fifty paces. The priest jumped as if he’d been poked in the backside with an arrow, then he turned and looked for more fertile ground to till.

Hamlet and his morning’s victims.

Richard had long since ceased to be surprised by what exercises Hamlet put the men through. The only thing that faintly surprised him was that they allowed him to put them through the like. Then again, Hamlet had been known to prod unwilling pupils with his sword. The man was nothing if not accurate and he was fastidious about a sharp weapon.

The garrison lads were currently hard at work learning one of Hamlet’s inexhaustible store of romantic lays.

Richard smirked. The priest wouldn’t find any work there. The garrison knights were screeching fit to frighten any beastie from Hell. What they needed was not spiritual aid, it was aid with their notes, and Richard suspected not even a boy of the cloth could help them with that.

He turned his attentions to other matters and found them equally as unpleasant. He let his features harden. They were going to do so anyway; why fight it? He was powerless to keep himself from frowning. Kendrick was in the same inner bailey as Jessica. No matter that she had hinted that she cared nothing for the lout. Kendrick’s charm was legendary. Jessica was a woman, albeit a strong, uncontrollable woman—surely she wouldn’t be able to resist him, would she? Merciful saints above, just fretting over it was ruining his appetite! First believing he was going to send her away, then realizing that sending her away was the very last thing he wanted to do. He was twisted in knots and had no idea how to undo himself.

Given that he was already undone, of course.

And by a woman, no less!

Kendrick meandered over to the floor of the great hall and Richard came away from the wall. He didn’t intend to walk over and eavesdrop; he simply couldn’t help himself. Unfortunately, Kendrick had finished whispering his words of love to Jessica before he could get close enough to hear them. Then Kendrick looked over his shoulder and smiled widely. Richard suppressed the violent urge to wipe the smirk off with his fist. He was torn between wanting to jerk Jessica to him and wanting to shove her away. Bloody hell, he wasn’t going to be the one scorned!

Jessica took his hand. He was surprised enough that he looked down and gaped. She intertwined her fingers with his, then brought his hand closer to her and clasped her other around it. Such a blatant show of affection shocked him to the marrow. Richard looked quickly at Kendrick, wondering what his friend would make of it.

Kendrick only put his finger under Richard’s chin and shut his mouth. “You’re drooling, my friend.”

“What did you say to her?” Richard managed.

Kendrick’s smile turned grave, if such a thing were possible for the smirking fool.

“I told her to have a care with you,” he said quietly. His smile faltered. “I think she’s a fine woman, Richard, and you’re fortunate to have her. I thought a few care-and-fodder instructions would be helpful.”

“Fodder instructions?”

“She didn’t know that you’d beg for sweet Italian grapes fresh from the vine. I think she already has a trip to Italy planned, don’t you, Jessica?”

“Very soon.”

“Or those French sweets?” Kendrick’s smile broadened. “How many miles did you drag me through the worst blizzard in history to reach Paris and that bloody inn? I told Jessica that promising you the like would win her whatever her heart desired. She vowed she’d remember it.”

Richard looked from Kendrick to Jessica and back again. “That’s what you were telling her?”

“Of course. What else would I say?”

Richard gave him a warning look and Kendrick laughed. “Saints, Richard, but you are suspicious. Jessica wouldn’t look at me twice. Isn’t that so?”

“Sorry, Kendrick,” Jessica said, giving Richard’s hand a squeeze.

Richard couldn’t believe his ears or his hand. He knew he was hearing things. Feeling things, too.

Unfortunately, he liked both.

Jessica gave his hand another squeeze. “Let’s take the day off.”

“How was that?” he asked.

“Let’s take some food and go eat on the beach.”

“Why would we want to do that?”

“Because it would be fun.”

Richard looked at Kendrick. “She has the strangest ideas.”

“A day of liberty? We used to do it often, Richard. ’Tis the responsibility of Burwyck-on-the-Sea that weighs on you so. I’m for it, lady. What shall I do?”

“Find a blanket or two for us to sit on.”

“Find your wits also while you’re about the task,” Richard muttered.

Kendrick laughed. “This will be good for you. Why, Richard, you might even laugh today as you did that one time in Paris.”

“Laugh?” Jessica echoed, sounding shocked.

“Actually, ’twas more of a snort, but charmingly done.”

“Careful, my future lord Seakirk,” Richard warned, “or you’ll find yourself floating to your bride facedown.”

“I’m forewarned. Let go of your lady, Richard, so she can fetch the food. You wait here and practice your sunny smiles, and I’ll fetch a blanket or two.”

“From your bed, not mine,” Richard called.

Kendrick waved as he walked away. Richard looked down at Jessica.

“Fun?”

“Amusing. Entertaining. You can get back at Kendrick by telling humiliating stories about him. Or we can just watch the sea. Won’t that be great?”

“Great,” he agreed. “And I’ll have your frozen body next to mine this night and likely catch my death.” He released her hand. “I’ll fetch a cloak or two for you.”

“Thank you,” she said with a smile. “Very gallant.”

“Only one act per day,” he tossed over his shoulder as he walked away. “Wouldn’t want to spoil you.”

Her laughter followed him as he crossed his new hall floor. He took a passing moment to marvel at the levelness of it, something that certainly hadn’t been the case in his father’s hall. She’d smoothed over all the rough places as if they’d never been there before.

A bit like what she was doing to him.

He winced as he climbed the stairs. The thought was enough to send him scampering out the gates never to come back.

Kendrick was waiting outside the chamber door, blankets in hand. Richard ignored him as he went inside and fetched two cloaks. Kendrick was still waiting once he
was finished. The man looked ready to talk. Richard sighed heavily.

“What, dolt?”

“You love her very much, don’t you?”

Richard couldn’t have been taken more off guard if Kendrick had plowed his fist into his belly.

“By the saints, nay,” he gasped.

“Then you won’t mind if I kiss her this afternoon—”

“Do and your life ends,” Richard growled.

Kendrick’s eyes twinkled merrily. “Pitiful, de Galtres. Truly pitiful.”

“I do not love her,” Richard said curtly. Oh, that was all he needed—for Kendrick to spread that tale from one end of the isle to the other.

Kendrick sobered instantly. “Truly?”

“Truly.”

“Then, for pity’s sake, say nothing of it,” Kendrick said in a low voice, “for she, my friend, loves you dearly. So much, I vow, that it pains me to watch the way you treat her.”

“Treat her? What’s amiss with how I treat her?”

“Have you ever smiled at her?”

Richard was silent.

“Given her a kind word?”

“Several.”

“I doubt it. That isn’t how you keep a woman, Richard.”

“I don’t care about keeping her,” Richard said, but he knew it was a lie.

“Then let her go.”

Richard looked heavenward, but found absolutely nothing to say.

“Be good to her, Richard.”

“Or you will?” Richard demanded.

Kendrick shook his head with a smile. “Why bother? She can’t see me for you. I envy you.”

“Don’t,” Richard said shortly. “There’s naught to envy.”

Kendrick fell silent and they descended the stairs together.
Jessica was standing at the bottom with a basket in her hands. Her face was white. Richard felt his heart sink like a rock. Had she heard their conversation?

Had she heard his lies?

God’s truth, he loved her. It frightened him witless, but he couldn’t deny it. He took the basket from her, set it down, and tried to put a cloak around her shoulders.

“I think I’d better stay,” she said crisply. “You two go on.”

“Now, why would I want to go with sour-faced Richard?” Kendrick asked brightly. “Especially when I could gaze upon the most beautiful woman Edmonds has ever produced?”

Richard caught Kendrick’s look over Jessica’s head and he flinched at the fury in it. Kendrick very rarely lost his temper but Richard suspected he was on the verge of it. He looked back helplessly. How could he possibly apologize for something Jessica never should have heard? She wouldn’t believe him anyway.

“Richard,” Kendrick said carefully, “take Jessica’s hand and let us go. I’ll catch up after I’ve seen to a guard, aye?”

Jessica’s hands were firmly clasped in front of her. Richard shot Kendrick a pleading look.

“Very well,” Kendrick announced, “
I’ll
take Jessica’s hand and you see to the guard. Come, Jessica. I’ve a mind to see this shore of Richard’s. I daresay we might find a shell or two, think you?”

Richard watched them go, saw the stiffness in Jessica’s shoulders, and thought he just might weep. Sweet Mary, he would never win her. And if he won her, he’d never hold her. He would say aught amiss, hurt her feelings as he had that day, then she would leave him. Her heart would be broken and his would be shattered.

“Richard,” Kendrick bellowed, “make haste!”

Richard made haste because he’d been told to and he couldn’t seem to think for himself. He caught up with Kendrick and Jessica soon enough and followed them around the outer wall and down to the shore.

It wasn’t a bad place, as far as strands went. The shore near the keep was too rocky for any but the most bold with heavy boots, but there was a fine bit of sand farther north. Kendrick spread out the blankets, set the basket down, and went in search of wood. It was cold. Richard tried to put a cloak around Jessica’s shoulders but she shook it off.

“Jessica,” he said helplessly.

She said nothing.

He realized in that moment that silence was his usual response. No wonder she became so irritated by it.

Kendrick built a fire. Richard tried to eat but found his appetite had gone the way of his lady’s affection, if she’d ever felt it at first.

“Jessica?” he called softly, trying to get her to look at him.

She did.

He wished she hadn’t.

The hurt in her eyes made his own eyes burn. He started to reach out to her, but she moved aside, then crawled to her feet. She walked down the shore and Richard rose to go after her. Kendrick’s hand on his ankle stopped him.

“You hurt her, you fool,” Kendrick accused.

“How do I apologize?”

“Try, ‘I’m sorry. Forgive me.’ It has been known to work wonders.”

“She’ll never believe me now.”

“And you want her to?”

“Of course I want her to, idiot!”

Kendrick released his ankle and smiled smugly. “I
knew
you loved her.”

“A fat bloody lot of good it does me now!” Richard thundered. “Thanks to you, you blabbering fool!”

“Go to hell, de Galtres.”

“Not if you’ll be there, de Piaget!”

Richard grunted as he soon found himself with Kendrick’s head in his stomach. They both went down to the sand. Richard was furious but he’d forgotten that Kendrick was two years his senior and had also grown up at
Artane, where wrestling was as much a part of the daily fare as ale. And the Artane lads weren’t shy about throwing their fists.

Richard managed to save his teeth, but his nose felt like it was broken and he couldn’t see out of one eye after a few minutes. He rolled off Kendrick after delivering a final blow to the belly, then groaned when the blood draining down his throat made him cough. He sat up and spat.

“Saints, Kendrick, you didn’t have to ruin my sweet visage while you were at it.”

“Yours?” Kendrick choked. “I’m to be wed in less than a fortnight!”

“Leave tomorrow and go up to Artane. Your mother will tend your wounds well enough. I’ve no one to tend mine.”

“Perhaps Jessica will pity you now that you’re so ugly.”

Richard shook his head. “Don’t start with me. Once a day is enough to listen to your foolishness.” He sat up and pulled off his overtunic. He mopped his face with a bit of wine and winced at the pressure on his nose.

“’Tisn’t broken,” Kendrick observed. “Should be, though. I must be going soft.”

Richard scowled as best he could with a split lip, then rose. “Tend the fire. I’ll return. I hope,” he muttered as he walked away.

Jessica was a goodly distance down the way. He followed her, feeling his palms begin to sweat and his heart hammer against his ribs. Why had he allowed this perverse wench to become so important to him? He should have cast her from his hall immediately.

Nay, even that wouldn’t have been soon enough. He should have let her steal Horse. Never in his life had he lost his seat, not to mention to a woman, yet she’d shoved him off Horse’s rump and been off without a backward glance. That should have been an omen.
Trouble ahead, all sensible men turn tail and flee.

He came up behind her quietly. He thought he might
have heard a sniff or two, but he could have been imagining that. He put his hands on her shoulders.