The Navy's Ghost (Bad Boys of Beta Squad) (6 page)

“It’s a helluva thing.” Todd grinned. “She must’ve impressed the hell outta him all those years ago for him to request her. Shoot, she impressed the hell outta me.”

“She impressed the shit out of everyone.” Jim shook his head and smiled as the steel doors opened to the ground floor. “The only woman to ever make it through BUD/S. You know, we’re the luckiest sonsabitches to have served with her.”

“Damn straight.”

They said nothing more as they entered the cafeteria and Jim swore every mess hall smelled the same no matter where they found it.
Hell, I’ve eaten in worse places.
They picked up some pathetic plastic wrapped sandwiches and bottles of water before paying and finding a table. Jim ignored the pained squeak of the plastic chair as he settled his weight onto it.

“Do you think she
’ll really take Castle up on his offer?”

“You heard her. What else is she gonna do?” Magic unwrapped his meal and took a bite.

“She didn’t sound enthusiastic.”

“No, she didn’t.” Todd stuffed more food in his mouth and Jim let it go.

What would I do if I couldn’t fight?
The idea left a cold lump in his gut and his throat, and he could barely swallow his food. It’d eat at him like a cancer.
Shit, what’s it doing to Ghost?

****

Heat curled around Chris and she opened her eyes to be sure she hadn’t woken in the dry Afghani desert.
Medical Center, Coronado.
Had they turned the heat on in her room? She restlessly pushed the blankets off her good leg and sighed with a little relief. Cooler air surrounded her limb and prickled the drying sweat on her skin. She turned her head toward the window, but no light showed through the closed shades this time.

Damn, she hated the dark.

And the aching agony coming from her leg irritated her.
It’s time to change the bandage again, right?
Why did she feel worse than she had before …whenever it had been? What day was it now? How long had she been here?

Too long, dammit!

She’d been thinking about Magic and Retro again. The way the light shifted over their muscles when they worked out. The intensity in their faces when on an op. God, that beauty always turned her on. She’d never get to see that again and it pissed her off.

Hell,
Chris detested being away from them. Hated not smelling their scents or sensing them around her, integral members of a team working together. Her loss still ate at her, corroding what little good humor she had left in the face of her pain and disability. She leaned her head back on her pillows and closed her eyes.

A new sound startled
her and she opened her eyes. Her two favorite men had returned. God, she loved them. They were the perfect complement to each other, one light and one dark. She tightened her lips before she blurted out anything inappropriate and lifted one had to wave at them.

“Hey no
w, Ghost, how are you feeling?” Magic sat down and took her waving hand.

“A little better, I guess. Still drier than the
Gobi in here, though.”

Retro laughed from her other side and handed her the plastic cup of water.

“Thanks.” She reached for the bed controls to prop herself up, but Jim waved her off. “Thanks again.” The back of the bed rose like a Laz-E-Boy.

“Has
anyone else in the squad visited besides us?” Magic refilled the cup.

“No. At least, I haven’t seen them.” Chris grimaced and
tilted her head at the shades over her window. “Can one of you open them, please? It’s really dark in here.”

Retro sauntered over to the window and she watched his ass the whole way.
Shit-oh-dear, he’s sexy. Maybe it’s a good thing I’m off the squad
. While not forbidden for officers to fraternize intimately, being on the Teams made it impractical for safety reasons. As the only female to ever make the SEALs, the likelihood of fraternization without invoking Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell stretched belief. The government had repealed DADT, but most of the soldiers still followed it out of respect for their brothers-in-arms. What did it matter who they were screwing? As long as they didn’t fraternize within ranks or screw up the fighting dynamic, no one cared about someone’s fuck buddy.

She smiled at Retro as he returned and let her gaze shift over to Magic. Maybe now she could
fantasize about having one of these men as a boyfriend.
Hell, I’m probably the best choice for them.
She’d understand them being gone for long periods of time and always being on call better than any other woman out there.

“Thanks.”

“You say that a lot more these days, Ghost.” Magic winked, a humorous twinkle in his gray eyes.

“Yeah, well, my m
om taught me to be polite and since I can’t do much for myself, I figure I should dole out a little sugar to get someone else to do it for me.”

“Your s
ugar always worked on me.” Magic grinned and refilled her cup.

Chris snorted. “Yeah right. How many times did I have to bust your ass when you started dragging in BUD/S?
”

Magic laughed and heat bloomed in her chest. She loved his laugh
, the sexy mixture of thick molasses and rich, warm velvet. She remembered his laugh when he had to pull splinters from her hands on the helo out of SERE. She could wrap herself up in it and snuggle forever.

“Not as many as you’d
like everyone to believe,” he said without rancor. “But I’d take your sugar any time if you’re givin’ it out.”

Her grin split her face and one of her lips cracked.
“Ow. It’s way too dry in here.”

Retro leaned over her with a stick of
lip balm in his hand.

“Pucker up, buttercup,” he rumbled with a wink
and she pushed her lips forward.

He slid the tube over them and she thought his eyes sparked with arousal, but they shutter
ed so fast she couldn’t be sure. She did hear him mutter “damn” under his breath, but he turned away once she rolled her lips together to coat them evenly.

“Thanks, Retro.”

“God have mercy, I could get used to hear gratitude all the time.”

Chris warmed again and
sweat trickled down the side of her head. Had the temperature in here increased or was it just the two sexiest men alive in the room? She smiled, but exhaustion crept in on her. At least the pain had faded.
God, I’m thirsty.

She closed her eyes and
tried to breathe evenly. The futile wish for the world to go back to what it was echoed through her mind and frustration built until it spilled from her eyes.
No, no, no. Can’t cry in front of them.
But her emotions ignored her orders and tears slipped free.

Chris
grimaced. “Dammit, there I go again. It’s gotta be the drugs. I keep crying like a girl.” More tears escaped her eyes and Retro grabbed her hand, squeezing it while Magic wiped away the liquid sorrow.

“I have to say I don’t mind the girly side of you
so much, Ghost.” Magic caught her gaze when she opened her eyes.

G
ray eyes sparkled with compassion. Steel blue encircled the pupils, but it faded toward the edges of the irises. Humor and something else glimmered in their depths.
Is that what love looks like?

Retro snorted his derisive amusement from her other side and she
had to agree with his sentiment as she turned her head toward him.

“Mind? Hell, I think we’d both love to see you in
a skirt and spike heels. Not that it’s ever gonna happen.” Despite his words, his expression filled with tenderness.

Chris released a watery laugh, but the humor
quickly faded and tired her out even more. Heat prickled her face and scalp, but she burned for the men beside her. She wanted to tell them what she’d been thinking about, but uncertainty held her back. Magic had shared his feelings, but she couldn’t get a read on Retro. And she had no idea what Magic would think of her interest in having them both. At once.

Damn, they’ll think I’m a freak.
The whiney voice ignited her anger.
Put out or ring out, Brickman! You gonna chicken out because someone once said you can’t do it?
The naysayers promised she’d never make the SEALs.
How was this any different?
Or any harder?

But physical exertion paled in comparison to matters of the heart, and Chris didn’t have the energy or endurance
to face the challenge at the moment. She closed her eyes and let the world shift away from her.

Images swirled behind her eyelids and eventually resolved into a white arbor festooned with flowers. Todd and Jim stood beneath the cascading blooms in their dress blues, framing a man who looked like a chaplain. They all smiled at her and her SEALs each held a hand out to her as she closed in on their position. Chris reached for them and they pulled her up to the front, her white skirts tangling her feet a little.

Hang on, am I at a wedding?

The men beamed at her before facing the chaplain and Chris followed suit with bemusement. The chaplain resembled her granddad and he gave her an encouraging wink.

“Repeat after me. I, Christiana Brickman, am not the most conventional woman.”

She wasn’t sure who snorted with sarcasm, but a grin cracked the faces of her companions as she repeated the words. “
Joining the SEALs is a dead giveaway. I only wear dresses for special occasions, usually under duress, and I’d much rather hump a heavy pack twenty klicks through desert sand than attend the spa. And I can fieldstrip an automatic weapon in under thirty seconds.”

These didn’t sound like any vows she’d ever heard before, but she dutifully repeated them. The men around her nodded with each statement. Her chaplain granddad winked at her.

“I’m also not conventional in my sexual tastes…” Wait, had he just said that aloud? And he expected her to repeat it before God and country?

Chris glanced at the men beside her and bit her lip. Magic’s expression had softened into thoughtfulness, but Retro wore shock like a bad Halloween mask.

“Uh…”

“I’m
not gay or bi, but I’ve come to the conclusion I’m not traditional, either.” The chaplain held the only serenity in their little group while Chris just gaped. How the hell did he expect her to repeat this?

“
I’m not gay or bi, but…uh, guys?”

N
either of them said a word, but both of their faces had drained of color. Intense emotion flickered behind their eyes and Chris’s gut tightened.
Is it disgust or worry?
Her face heated and she dropped her gaze to her feet.

A hand pressed gently against her chin, lifting her head until she met the chaplain’s eyes. “Tell them how you really feel. They need to know.”

“But—”

“It’s important,
Christiana.”

Deep breath. Easier than Hell Week
.
She tightened her grip on the men’s hands. “I’ve been with you both for four years and you’re my best friends. The first people I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last people I think about before I hit the sack. The problem is I don’t want just one of you.” She fixed her gaze on Magic and hoped he’d understand.
Please, God, let him be okay with sharing.
“I’ve been trying to figure out which one of you I would choose to be in my happily-ever-after if SEALs ever get such a thing.”

“
Ghost—” Chris squeezed Todd’s hand, interrupting him with a shake of her head.

“Please, just
hear me out. It’s traditional for a woman to choose only one man for the role, but I don’t want to. I love you both.” She turned her gaze to Retro. “Here, today, I’m declaring I want both of you in my life.”

F
or such different men, they wore the exact same expression. They both looked like they’d been poleaxed. The silence stretched after her statement, filling the space under the arbor with the hum of tension. It lasted so long she resisted the urge to squirm and sweat ran down the sides of her face.
Why is it so hot here under the arbor?

“I love you both
,” she croaked, her throat dry again. “Retro, for your quirky sense of humor and your steel-trap memory for useless knowledge—you know I’m never going to play trivia games with you.” Retro snorted softly, but he didn’t smile. “And Magic, I’ve never been so quiet and at peace as I am with you. Your steady strength and backup mean the world to me.”

When they didn’t say anything, she grimaced and sighed.
Here she stood in her wedding finery and her grooms appeared to be getting cold feet. But she couldn’t ignore her heart and she refused to hide her feelings. She’d hidden them for too long.
Time to stop
.

As the silence expanded
, her hope of acceptance faded like the paint on her granddad’s old Jeep Willy. She met the chaplain’s eyes, hoping to find some reassurance, but he’d left the arbor. Chris frantically grasped for Todd’s and Jim’s hands, but the world tilted and darkness seeped into the edges of her vision.