The Night Off (30 page)

Turning so they were face-to-face, Emily searched Nat’s eyes, nostrils flaring. “I’m so sorry. I was selfish, and a coward. Telling you that I would pay you to keep having sex with me…was inexcusable. It was disgusting.” She shook her head and looked away. “It was also stupid. Sex isn’t enough. Not with you.”

“For me, either.” Nat had spent the last twenty-four hours steeling her heart so she could somehow try and fuck Emily without loving her—as though that was even possible. Allowing the wall she had erected to come down was more difficult than she’d thought it would be. “What’s changed?”

“Nothing, really.” Clearly self-conscious, Emily folded her arms over her bare breasts and lifted one shoulder in an embarrassed shrug. “Me. I realized how idiotic I was being. I’m miserable without you.”

“Me too.” Nat softened when Emily shivered. She took off her jacket and wrapped it around Emily’s shoulders, helping to cover her chest. “Here.”

Emily pulled the jacket closed and dropped a quick kiss on her cheek before she could back away. “Thank you.”

Dizzy at the sensation of Emily’s lips against her skin, Nat tightened her fists at her sides and put some distance between them. She wasn’t ready to drop her guard just yet. “What about Colleen?”

The smile Emily gave her was tinged with pain. “We’re good. We had a long talk, she apologized for overreacting that night, and she also…” Her voice wavered. “She helped me understand her frame of mind when she found us. Fortunately, her best friend helped her decide that I’m not an irredeemable pervert, and as it turns out, she’s more worried about me being sad and lonely when she goes away to school than she is about me dating you.”

Nat exhaled shakily. She was so close to crumbling and just pulling Emily into her arms, but she needed to be sure that Emily was saying what it seemed like she was saying. “I thought you were incapable of being in a relationship.”

Emily’s smile vanished. “I know I said that, but I guess I’m hoping it’s not really true.” She fidgeted with Nat’s jacket, tightening it around her shoulders. “I don’t want it to be. I’m
better
when I’m with you. I’m happy.”

The last of Nat’s hurt and anger faded away. She took Emily’s arm and led her to the sofa, sitting down and pulling her onto her lap in one swift motion. Hugging her tight, she kissed Emily’s lips. She’d forgotten how soft they were. Between kisses, she murmured, “I forgive you.”

Now sobbing, Emily struggled to match Nat’s kisses through her tears. Her entire body trembled. “Really?”

“Of course. I love you, too.”

Emily broke away to bury her face in Nat’s neck. Nat rubbed her hand up and down Emily’s spine, memorizing the sensation of having the woman she loved back in her arms. She tried not to think about the beautiful, naked curves beneath her leather jacket, or the hot, moist folds that she knew were pressed against her blue jeans. Now that Emily’s wall had crumbled, Nat just wanted to make love to her. However, she sensed that Emily was still trying to process being forgiven.

“I’m so proud of you for getting that job.” Emily fisted her hands in Nat’s shirt, bringing them even closer together. “I hate that we fought right before your interview. I can’t imagine how difficult—”

Nat cut her off with another kiss. “You were scared. It happens.” Pressing her forehead to Emily’s, she murmured, “Just promise me you’re really back. I don’t think I can handle having you run away again.”

Emily shook her head and reinitiated their kisses. “No, you’re stuck with me.” She shifted so she could straddle Nat’s thighs, sitting on her lap so they were face-to-face again. “I’ll do my best not to screw this up. I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m ready to try. I want to try, with you.”

Nat’s heart swelled until she felt like her chest might split open. “You’ll be wonderful.” She cradled Emily’s cheeks, pulling away to stare into her eyes. “Does this mean you’re my girlfriend?”

Emily broke into the goofiest grin, and from the way Nat’s face ached, her expression probably matched. “I guess it does.”

“And does
that
mean I can make love to you now?”

Emily shrugged off Nat’s jacket and let it fall to the floor. Nat lowered her gaze and admired the breasts she’d tried not to notice earlier, when she’d been attempting emotional distance. Soft, plump, and topped with nipples that always seemed to be hard, Emily’s breasts made her salivate like a horny teenager every time she saw them.

Emily curled a hand around the back of Nat’s neck. “Kiss my nipples.”

Slowly, deliberately, Nat dropped a wet kiss on one, then the other. She sucked the stiff peak into her mouth, reaching between Emily’s thighs to cradle her mound. Emily sighed and tightened her grip on her neck. Savoring the incredible heat of slick flesh against her fingers, Nat circled Emily’s clit as gently as she could.

“Oh, Nat.” Emily groaned, rocking her hips in a slow, sensual rhythm. She keened softly when Nat took a nipple between her teeth and bit down. “Go inside. I need you inside me.”

In no mood to tease, Nat slid her index and middle fingers into Emily, driving them as deep as she could go. Emily clutched at her shoulders and cried out, a smile playing across her face as she adjusted to the invasion. Nat took as much of Emily’s breast into her mouth as she could, never stopping the motion of her thumb against her swollen clit. When Emily’s thighs began to tremble, Nat rubbed faster, desperate to hear her come.

“I love you,” Emily whispered, moving her hand to rest on Nat’s head. “I love you, Nat.
I love you.
”

Overcome by the intensity of Emily’s words, Nat released her breast with a salacious nibble and looked up into her eyes. “I love you, Em. You feel so good wrapped around my fingers. So tight. So beautiful.” She was babbling, but that was okay. They would have time for eloquence later. Right now she needed Emily to know that the emotional weight of this moment was mutual. “I will do
everything
to make you happy. Anything.”

“Just you.” Emily gasped, rising and falling on her fingers. “I only want you.”

Tangling her free hand in Emily’s hair, Nat brought her down for another passionate kiss. She licked Emily’s bottom lip, then bit it lightly. “Come for me, baby. Let me hear you.”

Digging her nails into Nat’s scalp, Emily rode her fingers until she climaxed with a series of achingly feminine moans. Nat dropped her hand to press between Emily’s shoulders, keeping her upright as she came down from her high. Emily’s body twitched with each stroke of her thumb against her sensitive clit, but rather than pull away, she only cuddled closer.

“I’m so stupid,” Emily said in a tearful whisper. She dropped a hand between her legs, holding Nat in place. “I almost lost you.”

“No, you didn’t.” Without removing her fingers from Emily, Nat shifted their bodies so they lay on the couch, belly to belly. She used her free arm to gather Emily into a tight hug, alarmed by the raw emotion pouring from the woman in her arms. “Don’t cry. I’ve got you.”

Nat closed her eyes as Emily snuggled against her chest and took deep breaths. She played with the fine hairs on the back of Emily’s neck, pleased when that seemed to help calm her down. After some time, Emily exhaled shakily.

“I really want you and Colleen to meet. Properly, this time.” Drawing away, Emily gave her a tentative smile. “Maybe you could come over for dinner soon.”

Nat beamed. Being invited into Colleen’s life told her more about Emily’s intentions than any number of declarations of love ever could. “How about I make Colleen’s favorite meal? What is it?”

“She says the best thing she ever ate was chicken satay at this little Thai place downtown.” Emily traced her finger over Nat’s lips, returning her smile. “But if you made her homemade Thai or Asian
anything
, she’d be totally impressed.”

“Chicken satay it is.”

Emily replaced her finger with her mouth, giving Nat a slow, deep kiss. “She’s going to love you once she gets to know you.”

Slight anxiety rolled through Nat’s stomach at the thought that she might not. She appreciated Emily’s confidence, but worried what the consequences of her relationship with Colleen not living up to Emily’s expectations might be. “I hope so.”

“She will. And even if she doesn’t, for some crazy reason, what matters is that
I
love you.” Emily lifted her thigh, allowing Nat to finally remove her hand. Then she slid her own hand between their stomachs, deftly opening the button on Nat’s jeans and slipping inside. Allowing her legs to fall open, Nat groaned when Emily stroked her clit carefully. “What matters is that you’re mine.”

Nat’s inner muscles clenched at the words. The strength of her reaction to the idea of belonging to someone surprised her. She should hate the thought, but she didn’t. In fact, she couldn’t think of anything she wanted more than to belong to Emily Parker—body and soul.

Eyelids heavy with the pleasure of having Emily’s soft, delicate hand working inside her shorts, Nat struggled with a sudden, intense desire to let Emily possess her completely. It was a privilege she didn’t allow even those she trusted—not Janis, not even Bridget during the couple of appointments they’d worked together—and so it was the perfect way to give herself to Emily completely. She had no idea if Emily understood just how significant that act would be. “Baby, wait.”

Emily froze, then removed her hand from Nat’s jeans. “Do you want me to use my tongue instead?”

Nat caught Emily’s wrist, keeping her close. “No, I want your fingers.” Uncharacteristically shy, she cringed as heat rose on her cheeks. “I just…think we’d be more comfortable in bed.”

“Okay.” The look of adoration on Emily’s face helped calm her racing heart. “I definitely want you to be comfortable, because I’m about to give you the best sex of your life.”

Nat had no doubt that Emily would do exactly that. Instantly, her anxiety eased. Need took over. She extracted herself from their embrace, then helped Emily onto her feet. “Again.”

“Pardon?”

“You’re about to give me the best sex of my life…again.” Unable to resist touching Emily’s naked skin, Nat ran her hands down her back to settle on her ass. “I want to try something new,” she said, squeezing gently. “If you’re up for it.”

“I’ll try almost anything at least once.” Emily entangled their fingers and led her toward the bedroom. “Whatever you want.”

Nat watched Emily’s hips move as they walked. “You really are the perfect girl.” The comforting warmth of Emily’s hand helped bolster her nerve for what she was about to do. When they reached the king-sized bed, Nat took a deep breath and slowly removed her shirt, enjoying the way Emily’s eyes stayed riveted to her body. “That’s why I want to give you something I haven’t wanted to give anyone in a long time.”

Emily lifted her gaze to meet Nat’s. Then she touched Nat’s cheek, rubbing her thumb over her bottom lip. “Only if you really
are
comfortable.”

“I promise I’ll tell you if I’m not.”

Dropping her hand, Emily curled the tips of her fingers in the waistband of Nat’s jeans. Her abdominal muscles tensed as Emily’s knuckles brushed against her bare skin. Emily’s throat moved, but she never broke eye contact. “You want me to go inside you.”

Nat exhaled. Nodded. “Yeah.”

“I guess I assumed you didn’t enjoy that.”

“I haven’t, with other people.” Sheepish, she murmured, “With men.” Relieved by the lack of judgment in Emily’s gaze, Nat lifted a shoulder, allowing a brief smile. “I’ve enjoyed it on my own, though, a few times. And I…I want to know how you feel inside me.”

Emily wobbled slightly on her feet. “Me too.”

Nat glanced down at Emily’s hand in her pants, then raised an eyebrow—an attempt at cockiness she didn’t really feel. “Come on, then.”

“Yes, mistress.” Biting her lip, Emily unbuttoned and unzipped Nat’s jeans, then knelt on the ground to remove them. She tugged off her boxer briefs next, leaving Nat bare. Then she planted her mouth between Nat’s legs. The sudden motion took Nat by surprise, sending her tumbling backward onto the bed.

Without breaking her stride, Emily crawled forward and pressed Nat’s thighs apart onto the mattress. She went back to work with a sensuous moan, licking up and down her slit slowly.

Nat echoed her moan. “Oh, fuck.” She put her hand on the back of Emily’s head, enjoying the sense of control she got from holding her in place. “That’s so good.”

She could feel Emily smile against her wetness. Her slim hands slid up to rest on Nat’s stomach, then moved higher, covering her breasts. Nat lifted her head so she could watch, thrilled by the sight of such a beautiful woman pleasuring her so enthusiastically.

Soon Nat’s thighs began to quake. She tugged Emily’s hair. “Stop before you make me come.”

Emily gave her one last kiss on her clit, making Nat shudder. Rising, she crawled onto Nat’s prone body and straddled her hips. Nat bit her lip at the scorching heat of Emily’s pussy on her stomach. She wanted to roll Emily over and plunge inside her tight warmth, but she resisted, just as badly wanting the fire within her own belly sated. Emily rocked against her as she bent to capture her mouth in a kiss that carried Nat’s own distinctive flavor.

Breaking away from their kiss, Emily whispered, “You’re in charge. Tell me what to do.”

Nat wrapped her arms around Emily’s back and gently placed her on the mattress at her side. Then she took Emily’s hand, bringing it to her mouth so she could kiss her knuckles. “Start with one finger.” She uncurled Emily’s index finger and sucked it into her mouth. “Go slow.”

Emily propped herself on her elbow. She bent for another kiss, setting her hand on Nat’s stomach before sliding it lower, between her legs. Taking a deep breath, Nat allowed her knees to fall open. She wasn’t entirely certain why she was so nervous. Emily wouldn’t hurt her. And it wasn’t as though she hadn’t been fucked more times than she could count. Of course, those had been some of the most painful, humiliating experiences she’d ever had. That made her tense about the prospect of letting it happen again, no matter who was preparing to penetrate her.

Yet this was different. This was about
her
pleasure, not her partner’s. She wasn’t just a warm, wet hole to Emily. From the way Emily cautiously dipped her fingers into her folds before touching her clit in a feather-light caress, it was clear that nothing would happen without her consent. If she didn’t like it, Emily would stop. Because Emily loved her.