The Ones Who Got Away (2 page)

“Oh, so this is also one of your other hobbies, huh? You know, besides running into people’s cars and bumping behind them.”

“Yeah,” I smiled. “It’s trending. Didn’t you look it up on twitter?”

“I’ve got better stuff to do,” he grinned. He lifted the hood and checked my engine. “Wow! Where did you steal this engine from? The museum?”

I made a face.

“Why don’t you hop in my truck and I’ll take you where you need to go. I’ll call my guys to tow this car later and bring it to my shop.”

“You’re a mechanic?”

“Yeah. You can say that. So, you’re getting in or not?” and with that I got into the truck.

“Thanks but” I paused.

“But what?”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“I’m Niall” his eyes bored into me making my heart skip a beat “and yours?”

“Adrianna,” I smiled

“So, where are we going?”

I showed him the e-mail in my blackberry.

“Adrianna” he said. My cheeks flushed “Do you know this guy?” he asked, referring to the address in my iPhone.

“No, but I’m about to find out.”

“Well, he’s my father”

And so we drove to his house.

***

His father was warm and as easygoing as he was. After a few laughs over some tea, I showed him the chain.

His eyes sparkled at the sight of it. “Where did you find it?”

“Do you know them?” I showed him the photograph Ms. Salina gave me. I saved the answer for his first question for last. Now, I needed my own answers.

He put on his glasses and a hint of recognition flashed across his face. “Yes, this was Kate and her daughters,” I could faintly hear sadness in his voice but it was barely audible so I ignored it.

“Do you know what happened to them?”

“No, I wasn’t close to them”

“So, why did you give her your army badge?”

“I came to San Diego in the 80‘s when I was shifted to the army base here.  A couple of weeks before I moved to the base I stayed at my cousin’s house. I think you know her, Ms. Salina?”

I nodded, eager for him to continue.

“Well, I met Kate there. She wouldn’t talk to a soul but I would usually play with her kids. Twins they were. I remember they kept telling me that they never wanted to go back home. When I asked why, they said Daddy will make Mommy cry again. One of them even had a cast on. When I asked them who did it, she looked terrified and didn’t want to answer. The other one was braver. She told me that they were supposed to say that she fell at the playground but actually their Daddy did it one night when he came back from work,” he swiped a tear. I was already in tears.

“So, I gave the girl my badge that I hung on a chain and told her to give it to her mom. It will protect your mom, I said but what was most important is that both of you should be brave and keep your mom safe. I remembered that girl until today. The braver one. She was hard to forget because she had a huge scar on her forehead. It looked almost like a crescent.”

I pulled back my fringe showing him the scar. The scar I loathed but now was the key in unlocking my past.

He was taken aback and for a few moments we froze.

“Mr. Evans, I need you to tell me everything about Kate.” because I sensed he was keeping something from me. Years as an investigative journalist have taught me to read body languages. Mr. Evans averted his eyes and looked at anything but me.

Finally, he said “I told you I stayed at the shelter a few weeks right? Every single day I would cross paths with Kate. She never looked my way and I didn’t even realize that I had started to grow feelings for her. I was not married that time and I didn’t have much in my bank account but I wanted to protect her. I could not bear to see her cry because that was what she did every day she was there. She wouldn’t cry in front of me of course, but it was obvious. Her face was tear-stained and she hardly smiled.”

Mr. Evans continued, his face full of pain as he let loose what he kept under lock and key for years. “When I confessed my feelings, she refused at first but after convincing her, she agreed. I helped her in filing a divorce against her husband and we were in the midst of preparing the documents when he came in and somehow, persuaded her to leave. I wasn’t there, mind you, when she left. I was at town, meeting with a lawyer to help plead her case and when I reached the shelter, she, and her children were gone. I could hardly believe my ears when they told me she went back to her husband and drove around their house for hours but it remained dark and empty. I was too late. They were gone.”

Before I left, he said “If you ever find Kate, tell her I did my best to save her,” and he added in an almost whisper “But I guess my best was not enough.”

***

In his truck, all Niall asked was “Are you  okay?” and everything started to spill out of me, words flowing out of my mouth like water running from a tap.

“I always knew I was adopted. My parents didn’t want to keep something of that magnitude a secret from me. But I never felt like I was adopted. I was one of the few who were lucky, I guess. They found me wandering on the streets, the soles of my feet were red raw and bleeding after walking barefooted for God knows how many days” I told him. All the while a river flowed down my cheeks.

“I was weak and they took me in even when they already had five kids that time. They loved me and I always felt we were like a real family but I always wondered about my real parents. My mom, especially. And now, I guess I’ve found her and it hurts me to know what she’s been through. I used to blame her for leaving me but now I guess she did it to save me from my dad.”

Niall kept silent and just lent his ear and his shoulder to cry on. I was grateful for that. I just needed someone to listen.

Before reaching my apartment, he made sure I was okay and even stopped by at a mini mart to get me a large bar of chocolate. “This makes me feel better whenever I’m down,” he said. “Your car will be ready in a few days’ time. Just some minor problems. In the meantime, if you need a ride, just give me a call, okay.”

I nodded and I could feel his eyes on me until I entered the main door of the apartment.

I tossed and turned but I could not sleep a wink that night. I looked at my alarm clock. 11.30 pm. I was about to fish for my car keys when I remembered it was at a workshop. I pulled on a cardigan and walked into the night. It was cold and but I kept on walking along the beach. The coconut trees were waving in the breeze that made me wrap the cardigan around me even more tightly.

I felt drawn towards the water and let my feet hit the waves that was surprisingly warm. I walked deeper and deeper into the ocean until my whole body was soaking wet and I started to go under. I never learnt how to swim because before tonight, I would never let an inch of my body near the sea. But people change, I guess, so why shouldn’t I. I felt my heart palpitate faster as it tries to get as much air but I didn’t bother helping it do its job. Instead, I stayed motionless, letting the blackness of the ocean to engulf my body. Maybe this way, the pain will go away.

I must have been close to death because my heartbeats started to beat slower and slower until I could barely hear them. I closed my eyes and braced myself for whatever comes next. You know how people say that as right before your soul leaves your body, your life flashes before you. The things you love, hate, your regrets, disappointments, heartbreaks, memories you treasure or try to forget. My hunch was right about being close to death as everything started flooding back and crash over me like a wave including that night that traumatized me until it was wiped off my mind together with a colossal portion of my childhood.

***

My dad came to the shelter that night. He talked to my mother and even brought a bouquet of flowers to beg her to return to him. I caught my mother’s eye and shook my head. I did not want to go back. I touched my scar. It was just about to heal. My father had pushed me off my mother when I was trying to defend her. My head hit the edge of the dining table leaving a huge gash and blood started to drip. Just a few days before, he snapped my sister’s arm when she started crying.

However, my mother told me to start packing. “There’s nowhere else to go.” She kept on repeating as if to convince herself. We got into my father’s car. My sister kept quiet throughout the journey. She couldn’t risk another broken arm. I was silent too and just listened to my parent’s conversation. 

“We’re a family. We’re gonna work this out. That’s what families do. Isn’t that right, girls?” My father said glancing behind.

“Yes daddy,” we replied. Careful not to get him in his temper.

“Good. That means we can start again.” He turned to face my mother “You and me.”

“Adrian, you always say that…” she started but was cut off.

“I’ll kill myself if we couldn’t. You’re the only thing in my life that counts.” He sobbed. “I’m nothing without family.” he then wiped a tear from my mother’s cheek who was also in tears. “I missed my wife.”

“I missed you too” was all she replied but I could tell she did not mean it. Just joining in the charade.

But then I spoke too soon. “But mommy, what about Uncle Evans? He’ll be waiting for us at home.” ‘Home’ was what I referred to the shelter because it really felt like one.

My mother quickly cut in “We don’t need to talk about him.”

At once, my father’s expression hardened. The monster within him has reared its ugly head.

“Who’s Evans?”

“I’m sorry,” came out as barely a whisper from my mother.

“Me too,” my father said. In a tone that didn’t suggest he meant it. I held my sister’s hand. We drove off in silence after that.

He stopped the car suddenly. It was at the beach. I remembered Uncle Evans brought us here one day and it was the best day of my life. We had banana splits and a boat ride, but that was in the evening. Now was pitch black and the beach was empty, devoid of nothing but sand and the huge stretch of the sea.

“What are you doing, Adrian?” My mother started panicking. “What are you doing?!”

My father opened the rear door of the car and led us out. He gripped my hand firmly in his right palm and my sister in the other. He gave a venomous look to my mother.

“You think you can just drive off into the sunset with some random guy and live happily ever after?” he spat out. He lifted my five year old self in one arm and my sister in the other and ran across the beach into the sea. My mother was screaming but she could not keep up with him and by the time she got to us, we were already in the water. I managed to keep myself upright by moving my arms and legs but my sister had a broken arm and she was weaker than me. I screamed soundlessly as she disappeared into the water. My mother managed to save me and we ended up in tears and in the cold as my father drove off, deserting us. Never to be seen of again.

***

I felt an arm on my back and another behind my knees as I was pulled out of the water. I opened my eyes slightly and half expected it to be my mother and for a second it was there but then it faded and was replaced by a familiar face. Niall. He carried me to the shore and shook me. I didn’t want to wake up. Life would be so painful after what I already knew. But Niall did not give up and at last, I opened my eyes and started to break down.

I spent the next few weeks hospitalized as they had to pump out water from my lungs. A second longer and I would have died. I smiled at my savior as he sat beside my hospital bed.

“Thanks for the whole saving my life thing but I’m curious. How did you know I was there?” I asked Niall.

“You’re welcome. I usually don’t add saving drowned girls in my services but fixing car engines can be boring sometimes.” he joked. “I was driving home late after spending extra hours there. Fixing your car, actually. Then, I saw this woman. She looked so beautiful that I almost thought I was seeing things. She looked so peaceful that I stopped to watch her and I realized it was you. I kept silent not knowing how to respond.