The Ones Who Got Away (6 page)

“Candor. That means honesty and sincerity doesn’t it? The way the justice system should work.” Detective Samuel approached the judge after a hearing at the court. He was getting jumpy after waiting for three hours but he kept it cool.

“That’s right. I’m sorry but I have a plane to catch.” The judge said rushing past him but Samuel stopped him in his tracks.

“To Cancun, perhaps? Because Candor is also the name of the resort owned by you and your sister-in-law. She’s an entrepreneur. She also owns nursing homes, rehabs and juvenile centers like Amity. So the state pays Amity for every kid sent there and Amity is own by your sister-in-law and she pays you…”

“You will reconsider what you’re saying if that badge means anything to you.” The judge’s eyes widen at the accusation.

“There is a reason to block transfers like Jamal, for instance, for what? Make a few bucks?”

“Are you accusing me for traditional misconduct?”

“No, that’s for the justice department to sort out. I’m accusing you for murder. A murder of an innocent kid named Rick at a facility that was supposed to protect him.”

The judge looked at him with disbelief. “I did not kill that boy,” he exclaimed.

“No, you are the type of guy who gets people to do them for you. Give me a name. I got records putting you and Rick on the phone the night he died” Detective Samuel said while taking out a pair of handcuffs. It did the trick. The judge’s eyes were clouded in fear.

“Hold on there,” the judge said, his hands up, a sign of defeat. The charade was over. “The boy got my attention. He called me that night and threatened to call the media and pour out everything. Before I could say anything further, someone took the phone from him and the line went dead.”

“Who took the phone from Rick?” The judge would not meet Samuel’s eyes. “Who was it?” Samuel insisted.

***

I sat at the bench, and took in the scenery. Which was not much really to expect from a park in the middle of a metropolis. A flock of birds flew by across the horizon where the sun begins to set. A few joggers passed by, earphones vibrating their eardrums. A child was crying in the distance, the aftermath of dropping from a set of swings. An elderly couple walked hand in hand, their face set in tranquility. Someday, I’ll be like that. Carefree and take walks in the park at noon. My thoughts were interrupted with a mug of steaming coffee thrust at my face.

“Here you go.” Sam said, smiling as he sat on the space next to me. “Black without sugar. Ugghhh” He made a face but I was too busy taking in the rich aroma of the coffee. I was that addicted.

“I can’t believe my own boss would do such a thing.” I said, almost too softly.

My boss was the one who grabbed the phone from Alex that night. He was corrupted as well. He did not want his source of income to be in jeopardy and it would be, if Rick revealed everything to the media. He claimed that in a midst of panic and anger, he pushed Rick and his head hit the wall. Rick was knocked out and became weak. He took advantage and tied up Rick’s wrists and stuffed his mouth so that Rick would not make a sound. That worked. Rick could not breathe a word to anyone any more.

“So, you’re still working there? At Amity?”

“Are you kidding? I resigned from that place. So now I am jobless and soon to be homeless if I don’t get a job soon to pay my rent.”

Detective Samuel chuckled. I playfully shoved him but ended up spilling my coffee all over his white shirt. Before he could come with a sort of payback, I took off and ended up tripping and fell face first to the dirt. He laughed mirthlessly and I couldn’t help but join in. My life was upside down but for the first time, I didn’t care. Amity was supposed to help these juveniles to reenter society as better individuals. They should be treated like everyone else. To me, I held on to Ronald Russell’s’ words that children are what we have made of them,

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child learns to feel shame, he learns to be guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.

If he lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world

Home is where the Heart Is

“Maria!”

Maria kept on going down the school corridor until finally his voice was loud enough to stop her in her tracks.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he held her arm lightly, concern written all over his face. “You’ve been avoiding me all week.” His voice was low, almost inaudible to the stream of people flowing between them.

  “Nothing,” she whispered. Talking required too much energy and she was tired. Fatigue was consuming her, breaking the pillars of strength that held her together. Mentally and physically.

  “What do you mean nothing? You’re crying.” Jason stated the obvious, his voice softened and that was breaking her slowly on the inside.

“I’m scared you’ll hate me.”

“Maria,” he insisted

  “You know how I haven’t been feeling that good.” Maria looked up, boring her glassy eyes into Jason’s hazel ones. “Well, it turns out,” she paused, “I’m pregnant.”

Shock, confusion and panic took turns to be expressed on his face.

“You’re sure? Did you take one of those…”he trailed off

“Pregnancy tests? Yeah.” She looked to the tiled floor. As low as her pride was “It’s blue.”

He kept quiet, not knowing how to respond but Maria cut in “We need to fix it.” Maria’s voice trembled. She clenched her fists in an effort to stop herself from breaking into sobs in the crowded corridor.

“Yeah,” he promised. “We’ll take care of it.”

A promise that was hard to keep

***

My eighteenth birthday was last week. Not that I cared about my birthdays but this birthday was different. It mattered to me because now it meant I was free. Free to venture to the outside world and stand on my own two feet. I can finally get out of the orphanage that has been my home since birth. But most importantly, I have a brighter chance of finding the one who left me here. My mother.

***

I knocked on the door coated with white wash. It was a beautiful home with flowers in their full glory, waving in the light morning breeze. The grass was neatly trimmed and not a single weed poked out. It was a nice neighborhood and it tore me up that my mother never bothered to share this life with me.

The door was opened by a beautiful woman in her thirties. She gasped at the sight of me.

“My god. I can see Jason all over your face,” she exclaimed. Then, she regained her placid composure. “I’m sorry. It’s just that you remind me of someone.”

My tongue was tied. I had been waiting for this moment all my life. I have been imagining what I would say to her, impress her, to make her want me. But then, it struck me. She must have not cared about me at all. She was the one who was supposed to search for me. I was her child, for crying out loud. I turned on my heels and walked away but her hand clasped my arm.

“Come inside,” she pleaded. “Please.”

Her house was like all the family houses I have been to. I was not always trapped at the orphanage. I was close with the warden and she let me cut some slack. I was allowed to go to Diana’s house, my desk mate for three years, after school or spend the weekend there. It was the closest thing I had to experience having a family. I envied all the things she loathed. Boring family dinners, annoying brother, and parents drilling on her exam grades and their string of advice and motivation that followed. It showed that they loved her and at times, I felt that Diana did not deserve it and wished I was born in her place. But then I would quickly wipe that thought away. Diana was my best friend after all and there is a silver lining in every cloud.

The woman’s eyes were on me as I drank a cup of tea in the living room. The hot liquid burned the inside of my cheeks but it was not the most painful thing that I have felt. The silence was so loud; it could have drowned us both. “Why? Why did you leave me and never returned?” Those few words escaped my burned lips. No reply came and I could not take it anymore. Before I could control myself, I burst out in a rage and all my life’s history poured out and finally ended with tears. She took me in her arms and hugged me.

“I’m sorry, baby.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“I messed up…bad,” she said between tears. “I was just so sad. Jason didn’t want me anymore.” And her story flowed out….

***

Jason trudged his way to the clinic a couple of blocks away. Laura was a nurse there.  She was his sister’s close friend who came by the house often and she was the only one he could turn to for help. Especially the situation he was facing right now.

“Another sprained ankle?” Laura asked. Jason was a track runner and the only reason he shows up at the clinic at times was always because of track-related injuries. But today, that was not the case.

“No… I’m in a situation with my girlfriend,” he said, choosing his words carefully as if he was treading on broken glass. “She’s pregnant.”

“Oh” was all Laura could muster.

“I brought two hundred bucks. We want to take care of it.”

Laura noticed Jason was drumming his fingers. She was always around to know that he did that when he was nervous or scared. Right now, she could not tell which one he was feeling.

“Well, first of all, it costs more like a thousand bucks. And you both need parental consent.”

“We can’t,” he interrupted her.

“And Maria would never be able to have children again,”

“Oh.” Realization dawned on his face. “I…I didn’t know that,” he stuttered.

“You know what; I have something that you should see.” Laura handed him a folder from a drawer.

Jason’s face was in horror as he stared at the photos.

“Can you imagine, legs and arms broken…” Laura continued “and then suctioned away. It’ll probably scream just like the babies do.”

Jason was in tears. “I thought it was early. It…it would be easy.” He finally said after tearing his teary eyes away from the folder.

“Murder is never easy.” Laura replied.

“Whoa. Umm, I guess.. thanks Laura.” Jason mumbled before he ran out of the clinic.  

The folder contained photos of past abortions. Gruesome ones. “I had to do it Jason,” Laura uttered under her breath. “You have to face the repercussions of what you did and that baby doesn’t deserve to die.”

Little did she or Jason knew someone had heard their conversation. Someone lurking in the shadows who had heard every single word.

***

Maria waited at the park. Jason had told her to wait for him there. He said there was something important he wanted to talk about. She held her breath with every passing second and finally exhaled when he showed up.

“I’m sorry I’m late. I had to run a few extra miles today. Coach Eugene said I needed to get in shape so that he can recommend me for my track scholarship. You know how strict they are in evaluating….”

“Cut to the chase, Jason.” It came out harsher than Maria intended. With the baby coming, she knew her future was over, not that she had one in the first place. But Jason was doing well, getting good grades, probably even a scholarship and she knew he could leave her anytime to deal with the baby alone and that frightened her.

“I spoke to the nurse that I know and it’s too expensive to abort the baby not that money is the main obstacle. But there’s too many risks and I’m not willing to take it,” he paused. “We’re keeping the baby.”

“What? Jason, you‘re not thinking straight. Who‘s going to look after her. Buy her diapers and milk. It‘s going to cost a lot of money and you know I don‘t have that.”

“Shhh…” He hushed her and look around the park. Besides a few toddlers at the slide, there was nobody at the park. “Maria, don’t freak out. Let me explain. I’ve found someone to adopt the baby. They’re good people and they have been wanting a child of their own. You just have to hang on there for a few more months and it’s over. I promise.” Jason convinced her.

And Maria nodded. Words lost.

***

“But it wasn’t that easy.” Maria, my mother said. “Every time there was PE, I would give the same excuses. Either period or a migraine. I was sick of playing sick and tired all the time. I wanted my life back and whenever I let this out on Jason, he would tell me to be patient. Just a few more months he would say. Hang on there. But then I got mad and I unleashed that anger on him. I started blaming him. I was mad at myself, really, for being too careless.”

Maria absent-mindedly brushed off invisible dust off her skirt. “Jason was patient at first but then not even an angel could tolerate being shouted and yelled at every day so we became restrained and sort of drifted off from each other.”

“What happened then? How did you conceive me?” I asked.

My mother stared off at the distance as if reminiscing the past before she continued…

***

The music from the speaker reverberated the grandly decorated hall. It was the event every high school senior waited for and every junior dreamed of. It was the Form 5 formal dinner and the theme was James Bond. The boys were dressed in smart black tuxedos while the girls floated around in sparkling dresses. Rich perfumes lingered in the air and everybody was moving their bodies to the beat. It seemed like everybody wanted to shine in the limelight except for Maria.

She hid in the shadows at the back of the hall, a sweater over her protruding belly. She was nervous and her forehead glistened with sweat. Across the hall, her eyes met Jason and he nodded as a response. It was time.

“Jason!” Kiera called out before he could take a step further. “Where are you going? You’re gonna miss the slide they’re about to put on. You know how I’m close to Jenna, the one doing the slideshow so she let me take a peek. There’s a photo of us during sports day. It was candid and a bit blurry but you can definitely tell it was us.” She went off like a bullet train off the tracks.

“Oh yeah, cool.” Jason turned on his heel but Kiera stopped him.

“Listen, I would love to chat with you but Maria needs me right now.” Jason said, frustration tugging at his brow.

“I don’t know why you still like Maria. She’s nothing. She’s just like a background girl.” Kiera said, not bothering to hide her jealousy. She had been crushing on Jason since Form 1 but he always had his eyes on Maria.

“No she’s not!” Jason’s voice raised a few octaves. “She’s shy but…forget it, you don’t know her.” And made his way through the crowd, away from Kiera.

“Well, I think she’s fat!” Kiera yelled at his back. She then stomped off in a huff.

Jason headed out through the back door of the hall into the school corridor and the sound of his footsteps bounced off the walls as he head to the bathroom where Maria was waiting.

The next hour was pure torture for Maria. She bit into a handkerchief to stop from screaming on top of her lungs. She was in labor and every muscle in her body ached and she thought she could not survive. But she did.

“It’s a baby girl.” Jason said at last when Maria gave her last push. Beads of sweat rolled down their foreheads and Maria was full of tears. “I have to find him.” Jason said, a smile breaking his face. “Wait for me, I’ll be right back”

Maria nodded. That was all she could do. She waited with the baby in her arms but he never returned. She was panicking as the hands of the clock raged on. “Shhhh..” Maria tried to hush the baby as she walked out of the bathroom after hours of waiting and went into the janitor’s room. The room was small with mops, brooms and dustpans crammed into it. She placed the baby gently on one of the stacked up stools and wrapped her with her sweater. “No matter what happens baby, your mom and dad always loved you.” She kissed her forehead, held back the tears and took off.