The Only Shark In The Sea (The Date Shark Series Book 3) (18 page)

“I’m so sorry for everything Stephanie put you through these last few weeks,” Natalie said softly. “I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me, and I can’t explain why she lied to you. What I do know is that it wasn’t about you, Vance. She loved you, and she did trust you, more than anyone else in this world, but she didn’t trust herself and she couldn’t overcome her fear of herself. Maybe she would have eventually, maybe not. The point is, none of what happened was your fault.”

Vance heard every word. They brushed against his skin, sinking deeper until the suffocating guilt he had been buried under changed. It didn’t leave him. It didn’t lessen. Something changed, though, like a hand reaching through the fog to guide him back to the sunlight. Vance took in a deep breath, and it felt like the first one he’d taken since Guy’s call that night.

“Thank you,” he said. One of Natalie’s shoulders bobbed and she tucked her knees in more tightly. He was bothered by her brushoff of his apology and felt the need to convince her. “It does mean something to me. It means a lot. Especially from you.”

Natalie looked up at him over her huddled knees. “Why?”

“Because you understand her better than anyone else, and because…” Vance paused, taking a second to word his thoughts correctly. “Because you’re the strongest person I know. Right now I feel about as tough as a tissue, but I know you won’t let me fall apart.”

“I’m not strong,” Natalie argued, her head shaking back and forth.

Vance stared at her and smiled. “Really? So it doesn’t take strength to face down your fear of interacting with people every day? Or to call Guy or agree to sessions with me when it terrified you? What about going out painting that night, or trying group therapy? Letting me in here tonight took a lot of strength, so much that you really surprised me. All of that takes strength, Natalie. A lot of it.”

Biting her lip so hard the dark pink flesh paled, she looked at everything in the room but him. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to help you through this.”

“That’s okay,” Vance said softly, “because I do.”

Chapter 21

The Thank You

Unable to respond to what Vance had said, Natalie took the coward’s way out. She gathered up the bowls and hid in the kitchen until Vance nodded off on the couch. Even once she heard his breathing even out, she continued to hide. Having him in her apartment wasn’t nearly as bad as she had thought it would be. She wasn’t sure why, but expected it had something to do with her shift in perspective. Vance wasn’t going to hurt her, and she was determined to find enough strength to hold him together from the outside while he pieced himself back together on the inside.

Digging up that hidden strength Vance seemed to think was so easy to see took her a few more minutes. When she finally felt steady enough, she slowly stepped out of the kitchen and peeked into the living room. Mouth open and head back, Vance was completely out. He looked extremely uncomfortable sleeping upright like that, but there was no way Natalie was going to attempt moving him.

Nor was she going to ask him to go home, she realized.

Even with good heating, winters in Chicago were cold in older buildings such as the one she lived in. Vance might have been exhausted enough that he’d sleep through the night regardless of the chill, but Natalie felt guilty leaving him there like that. Moving back into the kitchen, she crossed the tiled floor, darted through the entryway, and stopped in front of the linen closet in the hall.

Reaching in, she grabbed a good blanket, but hesitated before closing the door. Being in the same room with Vance all night was sure to mean a restless night’s sleep, but escaping to her room and not being able to keep an eye on him was equally unnerving. Natalie hadn’t slept a single night with company of the human variety since running from her parents’ home. She wasn’t sure she could do it. The other option was waking Vance and asking him to leave, and she couldn’t do that either.

Indecision kept her standing in front of the linen closet for a long while before she finally forced herself to be calm and rational and took a second blanket from the shelf. The walk back to the living room felt like a death march. Her whole body was trembling by the time she approached Vance’s slumped form. He had fallen slightly to the side, but still wasn’t lying down.

Breathe. Keep breathing
, Natalie reminded herself as she clutched the blankets to her chest. Putting one on Vance was simply too much for her in that moment. Instead, she took the second blanket and dropped it on her chair for later use.
Deep breath
. Without turning around, Natalie shook the blanket out, holding the edges so the remainder of the blanket hung down in front of her.

Her eyes squeezed shut no matter how hard she tried to be brave and keep them open. Knowing her own apartment as well as she did, it was no problem to sidestep the coffee table and place herself next to the couch without opening her eyes. Soft snores from Vance told her where he was and that he seemed to have fallen over completely. Not wanting to toss the blanket on his face by accident, Natalie strained to open her eyes.

A small moment of panic gripped her at the sight of him lying so peacefully on her couch, but it faded quickly. Surprised by that, Natalie tried desperately to hold onto the feeling as she stepped closer and carefully lifted the blanket and set it across his body. One corner, the one nearest her, had folded up and was exposing his forearm. Wanting as much of him covered as possible, Natalie’s heart rate spiked as she reached down to gingerly lift the corner of the blanket and straighten it out.

She had just started to pull her hand away when he shifted and his fingers brushed against her hand. Freezing, Natalie waited for the panic to hit her. It was normally such a sure thing. It never came. Her level of discomfort with the situation was high to begin with, but even a glancing touch like that would normally have terrified her.

Not this time.

Pulling her hand back and staring at it, she almost could have sworn his touch caused some sort of physical reaction. Where he touched her seemed warmer somehow, as if it had been cold for so long that even that slight brushing of skin against skin revived some small amount of life. It was startling, and somewhat frightening, but she didn’t jump away like she might have usually done.

Experimenting with a second touch was simply not going to happen. Grabbing her blanket and curling up on the loveseat that sat at an angle to the couch was slightly more acceptable. It was strange being so physically close to another person without being forced into it. Not bad, but not good either. Natalie curled up under her blanket and sat staring at Vance until she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

***

Waking up with a jolt, only the stiffness in her body prevented her from leaping off the loveseat. Vance was directly in her sights, still asleep and unaware of her abrupt waking. Soft, early morning light filtered in through the blinds and Natalie dove for her phone in a panic. Finding it lifeless, she clambered up off the loveseat and into the kitchen in search of a clock.

Her heart leapt into her throat as she saw that she would normally have left for work half an hour ago. A dozen thoughts all tumbled through her mind in that moment ranging from how fast she could get ready, to what to do about Vance, to finally remembering that her boss had given her the okay to take time off.

Even remembering that, Natalie hesitated. Taking the day off meant spending it with Vance. Not because he would expect it or insist, but because he needed someone with him. Wildly uncertain that was wise, it almost sent Natalie sprinting to her bedroom to dress, just to escape the responsibility. An entire day with another person. It was unthinkable.

Then everything from the previous night slowly rolled back to the front of her mind and her racing thoughts and heart began to calm. Instead of running, she walked quietly over to her laptop and opened the top. The email was sent a few minutes later, and she was about to close it when a response popped up almost automatically. Curious, she opened it and read.

Glad to hear you’re taking some time off. It’s well overdue and it sounds like your friend could use the support. I know you only asked for today, but I don’t want to see you back here until Monday. I know you have more than enough leave stored up and the project you’re working on isn’t up for review for another three weeks. Take the time.

Donald

Natalie’s response was short and quickly typed.

Are you sure?

Her boss’s response was equally brief.

Yes.

That seemed to be the end of it. It was only Wednesday. He wanted her to stay away from work until Monday? What was she supposed to do with herself for five days? The last seven years of her life had been nonstop school or work. Her only reprieve was hiding out in her apartment with Gypsy. Not only was she overwhelmed by the idea of having that much time to herself, there was still Vance to consider. What on earth was she supposed to do with him?

“Natalie?”

His voice treading so closely behind her thoughts startled a gasp from her as she spun around to face him. Holding up his hands, he said, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just woke up…here. In your apartment.”

He seemed confused by that. Not that Natalie could blame him. “You fell asleep last night and I…” She bit her lip before admitting to that brief encounter while covering him with the blanket and the way it had affected her.

“And you felt bad waking me and asking me to leave,” Vance finished with a sigh. His embarrassed and regretful expression said more than his words and Natalie felt compelled to correct him.

“I wasn’t going to ask you to leave,” she said as she wrapped her arms around her middle to calm the strange, unsettling feeling of nerves in her stomach.

Vance didn’t seem to believe her, but he shrugged it off and ran a hand through his unkempt hair. Touching his hair seemed to make him take stock of his appearance. He grimaced. “I should go home. Put on something more presentable.”

“Why don’t I make us some breakfast first?” Natalie offered. She wasn’t sure she could keep anything down with how unstable her stomach felt in that moment, but she was determined to keep Vance from slipping back into his drunken stupor no matter how far outside her comfort zone she had to stretch.

Looking at the light coming in through the windows, he frowned. “Don’t you need to get to work?”

Admitting the truth made her squirm, but she wasn’t capable of coming up with a believable alternative on the spot and caved. “I’m off until Monday, actually. My boss insisted.”

His confusion deepened, but he didn’t argue with her. She wasn’t sure if that was because he didn’t think it was his place to argue, or if he really just didn’t want to be alone. “Breakfast would be great,” he finally said.

Breathing out a sigh of relief that she didn’t have to explain her time off in any more detail, Natalie actually began to relax. The hint of a smile even made its way to her lips. “Are blueberry crepes okay?”

“Perfect,” Vance replied with a smile of his own.

He didn’t offer to help with breakfast, which Natalie greatly appreciated. Having him in such close quarters would not have been something she could have handled along with everything else. As exhausted as he still was, she wasn’t surprised to find him dozing on the couch again after she set the plates on the dining table and went to let him know the food was ready.

“Vance,” she called lightly from the edge of the living room.

He woke immediately and shook his head. “Sorry.”

“You’re fine, really,” she assured him. “Breakfast is ready whenever you are.”

She turned and stepped back into the kitchen for silverware and juice, leaving him to take a few minutes to wake back up. By the time she returned, he was seated at the dining table and less bleary-eyed than before. His hair and rumpled clothes would need to be addressed at some point, but Natalie decided to leave the issue alone until he was ready to discuss it.

A heavy dose of anxiety hit her as she gripped the back of her chair. Sitting down with him at the table was no closer than they had been at the diner the night Stephanie died, but this time they were alone. Vance said nothing. The patience she was used to seeing from him had once again settled on his shoulders and he gave her as long as she needed to talk herself into taking her seat.

Natalie knew she kept him waiting way longer than she should have, but she was eventually able to pull out the chair and sit. Once she had actually taken the step, she sighed in relief that her newfound strength from the night before hadn’t vanished before she was able to make use of it. Following her sigh was the soft clinking of silverware against plates as they both started in on their meal.

It was a long while later when Vance pushed his plate aside and set the envelope between them. Natalie tensed up at the mere sight of it and pushed the last few bites of her food away. Her appetite had vanished. Almost accusingly, her eyes snapped up to Vance’s.

“What are you going to do about this?” he asked.

Burn it
, was the response she wanted to give, but part of her feared ignoring whatever the letter contained. For once, it wasn’t about a need to obey her father. It was fear that she might miss a warning of some kind. Her fingers curled in on themselves at the thought of touching the letter—something his hands had also touched—but she knew it would be a mistake to throw it away.

“I hate the thought of touching it,” she admitted, “but I need to know what he wrote.”

Vance slid the letter closer to her and took his hand away. “You don’t have to tell me what it says. I just want to know whether or not you’re in danger.”

Nodding slowly, Natalie willed her fingers to stretch out and take it. They weren’t interested in obeying at the moment. Noticing her hesitation, Vance reached forward, broke the seal, and extracted the letter. He didn’t try to peek at its contents. He merely pushed the single sheet of paper closer to her and withdrew his hand.

Free of the envelope, the tri-folded paper expanded, the top fold lifting upward like an invitation. The last thing Natalie wanted was to be in communication with her father in any form, but she had to know if he was coming for her. She doubted there would be any direct timeline, but she couldn’t resist the need to protect herself. Lifting the edges of the paper with just her fingertips, she held it open and read.

If you think ignoring this will make it go away you have clearly forgotten the kind of man I am. I have attempted civility with you and have failed to make you see reason. You were taught to face your mistakes and not hide from the consequences. The shame you have caused our family can never be erased, but returning to face punishment will be the first step. This is your final warning. Do not make me force the issue, Clara. It won’t end well.

He didn’t sign it. There was no need. She had heard similar speeches from him so many times, there was no mistaking that the letter and the threats it contained were from her father. Numb, she released the paper and let it fall back to its half-open, half-closed position and crumpled against her chair.