The Perfection of Love (23 page)

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“Dana, have you organized yourself properly this year so that dinner will be out on time?”
  Mitchell was snarling and that made my heart palpitate.  My hands were sweating and I couldn’t steady my hands.  I never enjoyed Christmas.  In fact I had begun to hate it which was ridiculous considering we had a young child but it was the same shit every year.  We always had dinner at our home and invited both families.  Mine refused to sit with Mitchell so it was just me with him and his family.  Mitchell wanted everything perfect.  In his eyes this was the one time of the year where he wasn’t working and he wanted to enjoy his time off with no hiccups.  Every year I got something wrong.  The last Christmas we spent together I thought I was all on top of it.  The decorations were up.  The presents were wrapped.  I’d even taken care to make sure they had ribbon around them and matching bows with labels for everyone.  Mitchell had scowled when he saw some of the presents to my family but I didn’t care.  They were my family.  He didn’t have to like them but it was my money that bought the gifts.

All was going well until I went to get the bird out of the oven.  Jakey had been playing in the kitchen and a couple of his toys had been left on the floor.  Lego had been my arch nemesis for years and today was no exception.  I stood on it while carrying the mammoth size dish from the oven and tripped.  I think the whole street would have heard it splat against the kitchen wall and drop to the floor.

“What the fuck Dana!  My parents are going to be here in less than an hour and we’ve got no food for them.”  Mitchell looked like he was going to explode.  I was secretly hoping he would.  Then he’d be dead and I’d be free.

“Shit.  It’s ok Mitchell.  I cooked a honey glazed gammon joint as well.  There’ll still be more than enough food.”  I was on my knees cleaning up the mess when he came up behind me.  He grabbed my ponytail.  One of these days I was going to have to cut the thing off.

“You had one simple thing to do.  Just sort the dinner and you can’t even get that right.  You’re supposed to have turkey for dinner on Christmas day.”

“Mitchell let go of me.  You’re hurting me.  Not having turkey is not the end of the world.  Having no food whatsoever is still not the end of the world.  It will be fine.”  He dragged me into the living room where Jakey was playing on the floor.

“Jakey go upstairs baby.”  Jakey knew the drill.  He ran upstairs without a second glance.

“You see those fucking presents under the tree.  Your head was so wrapped up in getting gifts for people who can’t even be bothered to show their faces that you couldn’t even fix dinner for my parents who always make an effort.”  He shoved me away from him and I went into the tree.  Baubles scattered everywhere and I felt the branches cut into my uncovered skin.  When I managed to get myself up I saw Mitchell stamping on all the presents I had bought for my family.  I straightened myself out and went back into the kitchen to try and save Christmas dinner.  I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing my tears.

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This year was different.  Not only was I spending Christmas with my family but Deacon was now a part of that and was spending it with us.  I couldn’t wait.  When Christmas day arrived I think I was more excited than Jakey.  I had taken hours to pick everyone’s presents and spent even longer wrapping them and putting them in exactly the correct position under the tree.  Jakey had no interest in Christmas.  Since I’d left Mitchell I had tried to make it as fun for him as possible but I think he associated it with a time of sadness and tension.  I had snuck out of Deacons room at about four in the morning so that I would be in my own room should Jakey come in early to ask to open his presents.  He didn’t.  At seven I was wide awake and I heard Deacon get up and knock on my door.  His head appeared through the gap.

“Is Jakey not awake yet?” He asked.  I shook my head.  “Aren’t kids supposed to be up at the crack of dawn to open their presents?”  I looked away from him at the wall that separated mine and Jakeys room as if I could see him through the bricks.

“Jakey hasn’t had that many good Christmases.  He’s still getting used to the fact that Christmas day doesn’t equal his mum being hurt.”  Deacon came and perched on the side of my bed and stroked my bed.

“Well we need to show him that all our Christmas’s together from now on are going to be amazing.  I was thinking maybe each year we could alternate between your family and mine.  I know my mom already thinks of Jacob as her grandson so she’s going to want to see him.  Plus you need to experience a Greenwood Christmas.  It’s epic.”  I couldn’t believe that he was planning so far ahead.   I really did love this man.  I pulled him down to kiss him.  Closed mouth of course because morning breath is never sexy.

“Mum, is it ok if I go downstairs and watch TV?”  I never heard Jakey enter the room.  I panicked and shoved Deacon away completely forgetting his leg was still in a cast so he fell off the bed.

“Oh my god, Deacon!?”  I peered over the edge of the bed to look at him sprawled out awkwardly on the floor.

“I’m good.  I’m going to just hang out here on the floor for a bit.  You sort Jacob out.”

“Don’t worry mum.  I can do it.” He turned to walk out the room.  “You both know that I know you sleep in the same room most nights right?”  I heard him skip down the stairs.  Deacon was laughing.

“He’s quiet and you think he’s not paying much attention but that boy observes everything.”

“WOW!” I heard Jakey shout from downstairs. “Mum come and look at this.”  I looked at Deacon and he shrugged his shoulders.  I flung on my dressing gown and went downstairs.  The living room was packed.  When I say packed, I really mean PACKED with presents.  “Mum, there’s loads of them.  They’re all from Deacon.”  I felt Deacons arms come around my shoulders.

“Merry Christmas.  As this is our first Christmas together I wanted it to be memorable.”

“Deacon it looks amazing.  But you didn’t have to, really.”  He kissed me on top of my head and then nudged me towards the tree.

“Your presents under the tree that are tagged in red are for you to open later when we’re back home from your grandparents.”  He winked and like that I was more excited than Jakey.

We spent all morning opening presents.  I left Deacon and Jakey tidying the wrapping paper and putting away the presents while I made breakfast.  We then all got ready to head over to Ma and Pops in time for lunch.  The house was heaving with people.  I sent Jakey and Deacon to find Pops and made my way to the kitchen.  I passed Lana on the way who had laid the table and was currently attacking the Christmas tree which was something she did every year.  She was convinced that Ma decorated it like something even the Gallagher family from Shameless would reject on purpose just so Lana would come and do it properly.  Tara, Mills and Ma were in the kitchen which meant Joe was probably with Pops.  Mills and Joe always came round for lunch because their foster parents had Christmas dinner.  They both ate like horses and still managed to stay slim so it worked out for them having two massive meals on one day.

“Hey.  Merry Christmas everyone.”  I gave them all hugs then perched on the only free counter in the kitchen.  “Where’s Mara?”

“She’s on her way dear.”  Ma handed me some of the food that was ready to go out on the table.

“She said something came up in the morning that knocked her off schedule so she’s running late.”  Tara was speaking with her mouth full of piggies-in-blankets.  Ma gave her a look which told her to swallow her food before speaking again.  “I reckon it’s something to do with whatever stunt Lana pulled with her.  Whatever it is it’s epic this time.”

Dinner was actually non eventful which was a miracle.  Even when Mara came she didn’t say anything to Lana.  She was quiet all evening.  After food we all sat in the living room and watched awful TV.  It was perfect.  As usual Pops went to do the washing up and this time Jakey, Deacon and Joe went to help him.  Ma turned off the TV and we all looked as occupied as possible.  When the TV went off and Ma didn’t leave the room, that meant that one of us was about to be put on the spot.  Please God, let it not be me.

“Mara.” Thank God.  Mara was in the spotlight.  “What is going on?”

“Grandma, I don’t know what you are talking about.”  Mara avoided eye contact and I saw Tara squirm in her seat.  Ma was onto something.  I needed to see how this was going to play out.

“Mara Annabelle Daniels.” Oh she was getting full name treatment.  “I know you girls occasionally think that I don’t see what you girls are getting up to but let me just inform you that I see everything.  Lana I am aware that you have set your sister up.  While I don’t know the schematics of what you have done.  You.  Will.  Fix.  It!  Mara, you just remember who you are.” Then she pointed to all of us, “All of you remember who you are and where you come from.  We are strong women.  There isn’t a man out there who can bring us down and keep us there.  You all must stay true to yourselves and never forget that.  As sisters you need to look after each other and support each other.”  Now we were all avoiding eye contact.  Ma must know that we all love each other but when we fought all hell broke loose.  I still had no idea what was going on with Mara and something told me that I would only find out when I needed to.  My sisters were always there for me when I needed them and Mara needed to know that we were here for her as well.  I got up and pulled Tara and Lana with me and took them over to hug Mara.  She looked like she more than needed it.  Fuck me.  She was crying.  This was bad.

“I’m sorry Mara.  I thought I was helping.  I’ll fix this.  My heart was in the right place I swear.  I love you and I love you all too.  You know that right?”

“I know Lana.  You’re just a fucking fruit loop sometimes but this time I don’t even know what to do with the mess you got me in.”  Mara wiped the tears off her face.  She hardly ever let her walls down.  I noticed that Ma had left us and it gave us all the opportunity to talk with Mara.  She was in a mess but we all agreed that the only person who could fix it was herself.

As usual after Christmas at Ma and Pops I had to take a taxi home.  It had been a long day.  After our sister therapy session, Tara brought out the cocktail glasses and various liquors, liquers and mixers.  It was a messy job but we got through all the bottles.  Normally I would have crashed in my own room with Jakey but I didn’t think Ma would have been comfortable with Deacon staying over.  Plus the fact that the rest of my sisters were intoxicated beyond reason.  Lana and Joe had some heated discussion before he tore out of the house followed quickly by Mills.  Lana and Joe had been in the same class at school for most of their teenage years and had been friends for just as long.  They occasionally clashed but it was usually left in good humor.  Not this time though.  I’d drunk too much tonight to dwell on it.  Knowing them they’d act as though nothing had happened the next time they spoke.

Deacon helped get Jakey and I inside the house which wasn’t easy.  Jakey had fallen asleep in the taxi and I could barely walk upright.  With Jakey finally in bed, Deacon and I stood on the landing.

“Are you sleeping with me tonight, Dana?”  Deacon was holding my hand.  I shook my head and then smiled at him.

“We’re going to be in the same bed tonight Deacon.  All night.  But there’s not going to be much sleeping.  I walked to my bedroom taking off my dress on the way.  I climbed onto the bed in my underwear with my ass cheeks presented to Deacon.  I can’t speak for anyone else but my body inhibitions definitely disappear after a few drinks.  I love that Deacon didn’t need any instruction as to what I wanted.

I fell asleep fully sated with Deacon spooning me some time in the morning.  It must have been early because I couldn’t see any light creeping through the curtain, I could hear my phone vibrating.  I wriggled out of bed to find my phone in my handbag.  It was an unknown number but I answered anyway as it must be pretty important for someone to be calling at this time.

“Hello, Dana Daniels speaking.”  My voice was still croaky as I wasn’t fully awake.

“Hello Dana.”  I knew that voice.  “We need to talk.  I want to see my son.”

SHIT.  Mitchell is back!

“Mitchell what are you doing out of prison?”  He wasn’t supposed to be out for another six months.  While I was enjoying myself being a family with Deacon and Jakey I had forgotten about Mitchell for the most part and the fact that I was going to have to deal with him again soon.

“What that place, where you left me to rot?  You left me.  You took my son.  My life is in ruin Dana.”  He sounded so bitter but I had no sympathy in my heart for him.