The Persistence of Memories - A Novel of the Mendaihu Universe (14 page)

“What brings the two of you to the Gathering
Table, Dearest One?” Ampryss asked. “I gather all is well?”

“As well as can be,” she answered. “This is
more of a continuation of our last conversation, emha. I wish to
know more about the past
and
the future.”

Ampryss understood without asking for
clarification of her words. “You are always welcome to visit your
sehna lumia,” she said, and reached out to touch her hand. “As is
Amna. No, Denysia, there are other things on your mind.” She
grasped Denni's hand and squeezed tightly. “You question yourself,
don't you?”

“I do, and quite often,” she blushed. “I'm
not questioning my powers as the One, mind you. More
of...well...”

“She doesn't feel like she's herself
anymore,” Amna piped in.

Denni glared at her, her face crimson once
more. “Amzi!”

“Calm down, you know I’m right.”

Ampryss let out a tiny laugh. “I completely
understand, eichi. Once you have become more than what you once
were, it takes time for the spirit to adapt. It’s an internal fight
between adjusting — maturing, shall we say — and yearning to remain
in its original form. The spirit craves change just as much as it
craves stasis. All this is normal, and each spirit accepts it at
its own pace.”

Denni nodded, but couldn’t make herself face
Ampryss directly. She cherished her words, but they weren’t the
ones she needed to hear. She’d willingly and joyfully accepted that
her fate was to bring Love, Peace and Light to those around her. So
why had this new fate of hers become so aggravating?

“You expect much,” Ampryss added after a few
moments. “You're expecting those around you to fall at your feet,
which is not what they wish to do. I can tell it is not what you
wish them to do, either. Denysia, this is the most peaceful and
balanced acceptance of an Embodiment that I have ever witnessed. It
is as if you had changed them somehow, and well before they knew
they had been changed.”

Despite her discomfort, she had to agree. She
had expected them to bow in reverence, no matter how slight. She
didn't want reverence, just recognition. It conflicted with her
emotions, as she did not feel she was worthy of that adoration, no
matter who she was or had been. No, she had merely expected someone
to come and help her in her duties as the One.

Perhaps she was not yet ready to be the One
of All Sacred.

“Perhaps...” Dolan Usara began, leaning ever
so slightly forward. “Perhaps you need to read your own sehna lumia
before you visit those of the Previous Embodiments and make that
judgment, Denysia.”

She stared at him, more out of surprise than
anger. Had he just read her thoughts?

“I can only guess what you're thinking,
Denysia,” he added. “I merely read emotions, and yours are not
guarded at all. Anyone who knows how to do it can read them
clearly. I do not mean to insult you...I am merely informing you of
a potential hazard.”

Goddess, he was right! She calmed herself
quickly and nodded at him. “I’ll keep that in mind,” Denni
said.

“You are still young,” he said. “Yet as the
One of All Sacred, all of time belongs to you. Perhaps you feel as
though nothing is new anymore, now that the One knows
everything?”

“I know far from everything, Dolan,” she said
flatly. “I’m learning something new every day, especially now that
I'm the One.”

Dolan let out a laugh. “Interesting,
Denysia...I never would have expected humility from the Dearest.”
His smile warmed her unexpectedly, so much so that she recognized
its familiarity. He was looking at her almost exactly like Dad
would have...a proud, caring gaze, head slightly down and a crooked
grin on his face. She nearly caught her breath as the memory of her
father came rushing back to her. If he had felt this sudden rush of
emotion, he did not mention it.

“Are you in need of a guide towards your
sehna lumia, Denysia?” he asked.

“As a matter of fact, I am, Dolan,” she said.
“I'd be honored to have you.”

“Honor has nothing to do with it,” he said.
“I'm as curious about this event as you are. Whatever we can find
we can work out together, if that's all right by you?”

Denni studied him then glanced at both Amna
and Ampryss. Why would he be so interested in the Ascension of the
One? Or perhaps no one here understood it, or had not bothered to,
at least not to the degree she was aiming for. Dolan voicing his
interest was enough for her to accept his offer. She reached out a
hand towards his. Tentatively, he covered his hand over hers.

“Of course,” she beamed. “Shall we
start?”

He nodded silently, a hint of excitement in
his eyes. A second later, he took Amna's hand. She felt a spark of
energy, some kind of...

We're traveling again, aren't we...?

Denni had just enough time to turn and watch
Ampryss stand up from her seat and back away. She couldn't see the
reaction on her face, but her emotion sensing told her that she had
not been invited on this journey. Ampryss had accepted that fact
kindly and turned back to her duty as Watcher of Worlds. Denni
tried to cry out to her, but could not find the breath to speak.
She turned back to Dolan, only to find his form phasing and
morphing into something unfocused and unreal. She felt Amna's hand
in hers, could grasp it, squeeze it, could even feel the flow of
energy between the two of them, but she could not focus on her
either. She had become a white mirage.

Then, at the edge of asphyxiation, she felt a
breath within.

Do not fear death,
it said.
It is
only the beginning of something new.

Then she felt nothing.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Dissonance

Kai walked into Caren and Poe's office and
immediately felt the dissonant energies pushing at her. She wavered
at the door, suddenly lightheaded, and reached for the doorframe to
steady herself. The anger and frustration bled out of the two
agents and pushed hard against their walls of protection, feeding
on itself and growing worse. Kai had to react fast.

Piann nyhndah nehko aladh imhsha!

A cold and tense energy rippled out from her
body as she spoke those words, tearing through everything in the
room. Lights flickered, papers rustled, and the two ARU agents
jolted out of their chairs, eyes wide.

She glared at them. “Pashyo, what in the Name
of the One is wrong with the two of you?” She pushed herself off
the door frame and moved to the center of the room. “You're just
about to bleed each other dry. This is a trying time, I know...but
this is
not
how a Mendaihu acts.”

“I'm
not
quite a Mendaihu,” Caren
muttered. “I’m sure you already know that.”

Kai stared icily at her. The temptation to
knock some sense into her was so strong she had to force herself to
remain calm. She couldn't even trust herself to say anything at
that moment.

Poe, on the other hand, had said nothing, not
even bothering to look at her. He was so fiercely trying to avoid
confrontation by focusing on the work in front of him that she
could feel that absence of Light clearly.
Goddess, he's got
nuhm'ndah
in him.

“Fine,” she said. The both of you, come with
me.” She grabbed both their collars and stepped into Light before
either one could protest —

— and stepped back out, far away from their
cramped office in Branden Hill. They stood atop the Crest of
Breed's Hill, in the Wilderlands conservatory just north of
Bridgetown. They stood perilously close to the outcropping of rock
that dropped away at a sharp angle, jagged rocks eagerly staring at
them from seventy feet below.

Poe nearly lost his footing as he whirled
back at Kai. “What the hell are you —”

Shut up, Alec, and listen to me,
Kai
growled.
Karinna, you will also listen. I will accept no
interruptions.

“N....nyhnd'aladh,” Caren muttered, head
bowed low.

No apologies here. Not now. This is
not
how a Mendaihu Gharra is to act. The both of you, sit down.
This all ends now!

Poe's face whitened as he dropped to the
ground. Kai had never gotten this mad before. She could have
absorbed the residual energies whirling around their office, but
she knew most of it had come from within. Poe had been playing
victim to his errant emotions for too long now. He knew he could
control them and chose not to.

Caren still held herself so tightly in check,
despite the outward change in eagerness. She could have easily let
that impenetrable wall she hid behind come down, and had chosen not
to. She was afraid to let herself fully accept who she was...or
even who Denni was. Even if she showed this acceptance, her
spirit
still pushed these truths away. Yesterday’s events
had made that all too clear for her.

Kai exhaled and rubbed her temples. “Goddess
and the One know that I grant you both the Love and Light that I
cherish…” she said quietly. “Over the course of the last few weeks,
the two of you have become our close friends, our sehnadha
Mendaihu. Ashan and I could have easily returned to NewCanta,
leaving the two of you with the brunt of the healing process we see
before us. But we decided on our very first day to stay and assist
until the process is complete. We’ve all created a bond, and we
will not abandon that.

“But we are awfully tired of your distancing.
You can only hide from harm for so long. Eventually there will be a
time — and believe me, it will come — when you must fend for
yourselves, and right now...” She shook her head, closing her eyes.
She was on the verge of tears, and fought as hard as she could not
to let them flow.

“Right now, neither of you are ready.”

“I —” Poe started.

“No, Alec,” she said. “Both of you have
survived some life-altering events. Neither of you are the same
people you were six months previous. And yet neither of you have
changed at all. And I mean that in a positive way, I honestly do.
Poe, you have always been a cho-nyhndah. Caren, you have always
been a Mendaihu Gharra, and also a cho-nyhndah deep within. Denni
has always been the One of All Sacred. It was only the events
surrounding you that brought the three of you together to
understand that.

“Look for those connections, my sehnadha. Be
aware of them. Do not fear them. Live them, let them be a part of
you.
Dehndarra Né hra nyhndah.
”

She let them sit in silence for a full five
minutes to let them think that over while her own anger simmered
down to mere irritation. They were so close to the breaking point
and completely unaware of it. How had it gotten this far?

“Nyhnd'aladh,” Caren said weakly, breaking
the silence. Her voice was trembling. “I'm sorry, Kai. I shouldn't
have —”

“It's not me you should be apologizing to,”
Kai said. “You didn't insult me.”

“I don't...”

“Please, Karinna. You can let it go. You've
hurt for long enough. Apologize to yourself.”

“I...”

Before Caren could speak another word, Kai
had moved to her and embraced her. She held her close, closed her
eyes and felt the pain. The overwhelming heartache that welled deep
within Caren, finally coming to the surface. Kai knew this feeling,
the soul tearing away from that which had died some time ago, and
waking anew. Caren's wavering voice gave way to quiet, choking
sobs. She was willfully accepting Kai's soulhealing here, however
minute it may be. Caren stayed there, cradled in her arms, for a
long time.

She glanced over at Poe. He was distracted,
looking out over the Sprawl with dark, sad eyes. Slowly,
tentatively, she reached out a gossamer thread and whirled it
around him, never touching him but inching as close as she dared.
She felt no emotional walls surrounding him this time. She moved in
a little closer, tasted the peculiar
cherry
sensation of his
spirit.

Alec,
she whispered to him.
You are
strong. You are
much
stronger than you think. Do not give in
so easily. Promise me this —

“Anything,” he whispered aloud.

Kai faltered...

He turned and faced her, his eyes meeting
hers, and for a moment she felt a sensation, an intensity in his
heart so strong it transcended its physical realm. He wasn't
feeling emotion...he
was
emotion. He was a living embodiment
of Love, Peace, and Light, an energy so intense it could consume
spirits around him. He had subconsciously understood this. He was
not protecting himself. Just like Caren, he was protecting those
around him from himself.

Promise me...
she said again.
Promise me you will learn all you can about cho-nyhndah. Promise
me you will learn control.

“I promise,” he said, and managed a quick
smile.

Caren moved out of her arms and wiped her
tears away. She smiled awkwardly and let out a quick giggle. She
didn't want to say anything, for fear she'd lose the moment.
Instead, she merely bowed and sat down on an outcropping of rock
close to Poe.

Stranger things indeed,
Kai thought,
exhaling. She found a seat on the other side of Poe and joined them
in their view of the mid-afternoon cityscape of Bridgetown and all
its citizens. She did not reach out to feel the flow of the city's
spirits as they were doing now. She had done enough of that during
the Awakening. She did not need to do it again for some time.

He
is
Light,
she
thought.
Goddess...he's stronger than even
I
could
sense.

Poe turned to Kai. “Back then. What does
that…piann nyhndah, whatever you said, mean?”

“Oh...you mean 'piann nyhndah nehko aladh
imhsha'?” Kai touched him on the shoulder but too shaken to smile.
“It's an old Meraladian adage. A rough translation would be
a
shuttered heart distrusts itself because it's afraid
.”