The Persistence of Memories - A Novel of the Mendaihu Universe (15 page)

He flashed a quick grin. “Makes sense, given
the circumstances.”

They sat in silence for a while longer, each
of them taking time to think things over. Kai could feel their
minds and spirits running at a much slower and calmer pace now,
much to her relief. “How is Denni doing?” she asked eventually.

“As well as can be,” Caren said. “She's been
quiet lately. She still hasn't told me all the details, but I'm
guessing that she went up to that nonspace to heal. Heal what, I
don't know, but whatever she's done, she's doing better. It worries
me, though. She's been staying home a lot, like she's afraid to
face the world, now that everyone knows who she is. I think it's
more that she feels she's lost that bit of privacy. She's lost that
piece of herself that nobody else knows.”

“Has she said anything about what she's been
doing since she returned?”

Caren's frown deepened. “She's been
Lightwalking a lot. She comes back within the half hour, though.
Most of the time she just says it's for the practice.”

“No stops anywhere?” Kai pushed.

“Stops? You think she’d…?”

“She may be visiting someone. Ampryss
perhaps.”

Caren let that sink in. “On Trisanda? You
really think she’s ascended that far already?”

“She's learned to transcend timespace
limitations. She heard Ampryss contacting her after the Awakening.
They’ve been talking ever since. Not too many people can reach
Trisanda alone right now...but it is possible. Only the strongest
of the Mendaihu and the Shenaihu can do it. And even then, not
everyone can complete the trip.” She let that implication sit for a
few moments, and anticipated Caren’s next question. “Their souls
live on, Karinna, that I can promise you.”

“How can you promise something like that?”
Poe grimaced. “How can you even know something like that?”

“An old Gharné phrase: 'proof denies faith.'
This ties in with what I’d said earlier. The heart that distrusts
itself — the soul that refuses to accept the reality it's been
given — is a heart that's afraid of the truth. A soul cannot hide
from its reality, but it can learn to accept it. These were souls
that attempted to reach Trisanda and failed; their physical bodies
may have died in transit, but their souls live on. How do we know
this? Because we can feel them. Same as the Rain of Light. We can
feel its presence.”

“Some days it’s hard to avoid,” Poe muttered,
still watching the city. “I meant to ask why we didn't sense the
Rain of Light until just before the Ascension.”

Kai gave herself time to come up with a valid
response. Poe had noticed its presence when they’d first met up
here, though he wasn't entirely sure
what
it was he'd
sensed. It made no impression on most sensitives. It was the lack
of aura that blinded others to their presence.

“It was because we were looking for Mendaihu,
spirits similar to our own,” she answered. “We weren't looking for
nuhm'ndah.”

That answer seemed to appease him for the
time being. Caren, however, had perked up in that way that only
meant her thoughts had latched on to an idea and she wouldn't give
up until she was satisfied. She was quite the Mendaihu in that
respect, but she'd also inherited that wonderful trait from her
parents. She'd told Kai the story of her family a few weeks ago,
which served to answer quite a few questions regarding Caren's
behavior until recently.

“Have we ever stopped to talk to these
nuhm'ndah, Kai? I mean, meet with a number of them in mediation, to
figure out what they want?”

Kai suppressed a smile; despite her moods and
thoughts sometimes, Caren was often quite the optimist, especially
when it came to judging people and groups. The smile soon faded,
however. “November the first, the year 2608,” she said. “The
previous Embodiment.”

Caren frowned. “What happened?”

“You were alive back then,” Kai said. “You
should remember.”

“I was six years old,” she said, cocking an
eyebrow at her. “All I remember is a lot of angry people, my
parents included, and a lot of hiding.”

Kai nodded. “You remember more than that. You
just need to access it.”

Caren tapped the side of her head with her
knuckles. “It's been too long, Kai. I couldn't possibly remember
any of it now.”

“You'd be surprised.”

Poe shot back into the conversation again.
“You're talking about the sehna lumia, aren't you?”

Kai nodded. “It's all there. Every single
detail, every nuance. Your complete history.” She paused again, a
bright thought coming to her. “Denni must be accessing her own
sehna lumia when she’s Lightwalking.”

“Which leaves us here, on
Gharra
,”
Caren said, a bit of cynicism creeping into her voice. “If our
sehna lumia is on Trisanda...how are we to access it if we can't
get there?”

Kai smiled again. “That's where Ashan and I
come in. We can train the two of you to access it without having to
leave Gharra. The sehna lumia may be a physical place on Trisanda,
but the threads of memory themselves can be accessed anywhere in
the universe. This library is the One True Convergence within the
universe.”

“We don't have much time,” Poe said.

“Where and when would this training take
place?” Caren added.

“That's entirely up to you,” she said. “We
can train you while you're going through Mendaihu training, or we
can do it beforehand. It doesn't take long. A day or two at
most.”

Caren and Poe looked at each other and
without speaking, within or aloud; they had already come to the
same decision.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Sehna lumia

I am Light...I am thought...I am Love...I
am...

Denni cautiously opened her eyes and took in
her new surroundings. She was seated on the cushioned sill of an
open arched window, leaning up against the frame. The room was an
open space with no roof, no doors and little furniture. The floor
was rough slate, cool on her feet. A chair, a lone cushion on a
pallet, and one empty table...and her. She could hear voices
nearby, but she was completely alone. Amna and Dolan had both
disappeared. She could sense they were close, their spirits moving
through this elsewhere, but they were not with her.

Come to think of it, this room looked
very
familiar…

I am Light,
she thought, and blinked.
Why was I just thinking that?

She felt different, not completely herself.
She had not chosen the formless toga-style wraparound that hung
loosely over her shoulders, comfortable though it was. She felt
older, like the form she’d taken just after the failed
Ascension.

She stood up and walked to the wide entryway.
It led out into an expansive garden, flanked on either side by a
high row of overgrown boxwood hedges. A young forest bordered the
far end of the garden some thirty yards away. The voices were
louder out here. She stepped out onto the soft grass.

“Hello?” she called. “Amna? Edha Usara?”

The voices quieted just for a brief moment
before starting again, as if dismissing an unimportant noise. She
continued to listen as she looked around, standing on tiptoes and
peeking over the shrubbery in each direction, but saw no one. The
voices became clearer and more distinctive as she approached the
far end of the garden. They spoke a language she did not recognize.
It wasn’t even close to Anjshé.

I am Light...I am thought...I am Love.

Those words again! She was not speaking, no
one was. Or
everyone
was, and they had finally spoken in
unison, in a language she could understand. She twirled around and
faced the gazebo. They were coming from the arched window she’d
just left.

I am You, Denysia. I am the One of All
Sacred.

She moved her jaw, but said nothing.

We are a part of you Denysia. And you are
all of us together.

“Who are you?” she called out. Something
about this voice seemed so familiar to her! Where had this happened
before? During the Awakening ritual? Or the failed Ascension?

You are Denysia. You are the One of All
Sacred.

“Where are you? Show yourself!”

“Denysia.”

The
real
voice startled her. She heard
it off to her left and turned, hands reflexively pulled up in a
defensive stance. Where had she learned that? A young man, perhaps
only a few years older than she, stood at the perimeter of the
garden, just on the other side of the hedge. He was Meraladian
tall, about six foot five for his young age, with short brown
matted hair and a wide face. He was wearing the same style of toga
as hers, only his was black. He was smiling at her, gesturing for
her to come closer.

“Who are you?” she asked.

“I am Kindeiya Shalei, emha. You may have met
or seen me before on Gharra,” he said. “There, I am a Watcher of
Worlds. Here, I am merely a Shalei cousin of yours.”

“Who was just talking to me now?” she
asked.

“Who, indeed!” He let out a polite laugh.
“That was the true voice of your spirit, emha. They're bound to be
a bit
lost
when you first connect with them. The same thing
happened to me when I first came here.”

“Why would my spirit voice be separate from
me?”

“A very good question, Dearest,” he said, and
gestured towards the gazebo. “May we converse inside?”

Denni looked over her shoulder at the
dwelling, and smiled in spite of herself. Of course! This was not
her personal sehna lumia, for that was closer to home, on Gharra.
This gazebo and garden was the sehna lumia of the One of All
Sacred. It was its palace of its memory, housed in the only place
it should rightfully be: within her own spirit, the one connected
to Trisanda. Kindeiya Shalei was just outside of her realm of
being, just outside the garden. Following the cardinal rule of all
sehna lumia, he could not enter unless she gave him permission.

She remembered Kindeiya's name from the
Ascension when she had talked to the thousands of people in the
warehouse at once, as the Rain of Light fell back on itself and
brought the cho-nyhndah spirits to life. He had been one of them.
On Gharra, he was a reality seer, and quite an important one; he’d
been the one to guide Nehalé Usarai towards the Awakening ritual.
He’d also guided Caren and Alec towards accepting their fates as
the natural cho-nyhndah that they were. Caren still harbored a
deep-seated anger towards him, but there was also a wary
acceptance. He had not pushed at her to cause pain, but to free her
from her own barriers.

She could trust this man.

“Come forth,” she said, and started walking
towards the gazebo. “You are welcome here, Kindeiya Shalei.”

He flashed a wide smile at her as the hedge
parted between them, rustling and folding in on itself, opening a
narrow transom for him to walk through. He stood tentatively for a
moment before the opening, looking down at the clearance, somewhat
surprised at its simplicity. When she waved him on, he stepped
through without incident.

“That was a bit anticlimactic,” he said.

Denni giggled at him. “Were you expecting a
herald?”

“Something a little less mundane, I guess?”
he laughed. “Sa’im taftika, emha.” He gestured forward and Denni
led the way.

She understood she always held control here,
even over any visitors she admitted in. She thought of the garden
as her own personal space, perhaps another lumisha dea, with the
gazebo as the main meeting place and her protection from the
elements. Back inside, she took her seat at the sill, and Kindeiya
sat diagonally across from her at another sill.

“You look younger than you actually are,”
Denni said, looking at him. “You're much older on Gharra, aren't
you?”

“Yes,” he said. “I'm in my early forties
there. Time is subjective in this place, so I like to recapture
some of my youth. I see you have advanced a year or two.”

Denni agreed. Here she was perhaps closer to
Caren's age than her own. It hadn't been a conscious choice, but
then again none of this had been. “Where are we, anyway?” she
asked. “Is this our own private sehna lumia, or is it a stopping
place towards another destination?”

“It’s a bit of both,” he said. “It’s your own
Garden of Eden, in a way. You can come here whenever you feel the
need to retreat, and nothing will come to harm. You can also come
here to meditate or relearn the stories of your spirit’s past. I
assume you have come here for the latter.”

She nodded. “Where should I begin?”

“It is completely up to you. Most begin by
taking stock in themselves spiritually, aligning themselves to
Light. Others connect themselves to others, like we have done. The
advantage to connecting is that you acquire a more universal
understanding of what it is to be Trisandi.”

It took a moment for his words to make sense.
“Interconnection. That’s why there’s always a crowd at the
Gathering Table, isn’t it? It’s not just meeting up as a party. And
it’s not always planned either. It just happens. Souls you’ve met
at some point, whether it’s this life or past. Whoever feels the
pull of that connection.”

Kindeiya laughed. “Pashyo, you're a quicker
study than I expected!”

“It’s exactly what I felt during the failed
Ascension,” she admitted. “I didn’t know how I was able to do it,
but I get it now.”

“You
are
the One of All Sacred,
Denysia. It was only natural for you to pick this all up.”

“I have studied philosophy and religion in
school, you know,” she retorted, a wicked smile on her face.

“Perhaps. But you are not the Embodiment that
everyone expected.” He sat back against the window arch, smiling at
her. “I am a strong Watcher, but you never cease to amaze me.”

“You said that earlier,” she said. “You’re a
Watcher of Worlds, like Ampryss. You were one of the people behind
my Awakening. Nehalé admitted as much.”