The Phredde Collection (51 page)

‘You look great,’ I said to Phredde. She was dressed as a wasp, all orange and black, so we really matched.

‘Splendiferous,’ squeaked Shaun. He was still a bat. FLOOSH! Suddenly he was a kid again.

Phredde grinned. ‘It’s difficult choosing a costume when you have wings,’ she said. She wrinkled her nose. ‘Mum wanted me to be a beautiful butterfly! Yuk!’

The four of us looked pretty stunning zapping along on Phredde’s mum’s magic carpet through the streets, especially when Phredde forgot to stop at the traffic lights, but it didn’t matter because we just swooped above everyone.

I don’t know why everyone kept staring though. I mean it WAS Halloween!

We landed by the school hall and it looked GREAT. We’d hung the pumpkin lanterns out the front. Not real ones, just in case the candles burnt through the
pumpkin and burnt the hall down, which would have been a real pity after all the trouble we’d gone to making it look nice.

These lanterns were made from papier-mâché and had battery-operated torches in them (magic was off-limits). We’d hung black and orange streamers everywhere, and the food was all set out on the tables at the back. Phredde had PING!ed all the garlic out before we left. I mean these kids were okay, even if they did talk funny, and they were quite nice about congratulating us after we’d won the football match.

A few ghosts wandered past us into the hall—well, kids dressed up in sheets. Edwin was wearing a banana costume, at least I hoped it was a costume and not something Edwin thought was cool to wear. The music was hammering away, and everyone was dancing. Well, everyone except us, anyway.

‘Come on, let’s hit the dancefloor!’ I cried, when someone hopped up behind me.

‘Hello, Pru,’ he said.

It was Bruce. Phredde took one look and grabbed Shaun and Janet’s hands and dragged them inside. ‘See you later!’ she called as they disappeared.

I blinked at Bruce. ‘What are you dressed up as?’ I demanded.

‘A Werefrog’ said Bruce matter-of-factly. ‘That’s a frog who changes into a human every full moon.’

‘But it isn’t a full moon,’ I said slowly. ‘You look just the same as you always do.’

‘Yep,’ said Bruce. ‘That’s the whole idea.’ He hesitated. ‘You look cool,’ he said at last. ‘Very pumpkiny.’

‘Thanks,’ I said.

Bruce blinked at me with his googly frog eyes. ‘Pru, I’ve got to tell you something.’

‘I’ve got to tell you something too,’ I told him.

‘I don’t know how to say this,’ said Bruce hesitantly, ‘but you really need to know that…’

‘Come on, inside, everybody!’ It was Mr Ploppy Bottom. ‘You don’t want to miss the fun!’

I stared at him. He looked…different…somehow. He wasn’t wearing a costume, just his ordinary teacher clothes—pants and shirt—but somehow he looked stranger than ever.

‘Into the hall!’ giggled Mr Ploppy Bottom. He surged past us and made his way across the dancefloor, under the twirling orange lights and up onto the hall stage.

‘Come on,’ I said to Bruce. I really wanted to hear what Bruce had to say, but something told me that we were about to find out just how weird Mr Ploppy Bottom REALLY was.

Bruce shoved his way to the front of the crowd—frogs have wide shoulders and Bruce is stronger than he looks—and I followed in his wake.

‘Attention!’ Mr Ploppy Bottom yelled. ‘And turn that music off!’

The music pounded even louder as someone turned the switch the wrong way. Then suddenly there was silence.

Mr Ploppy Bottom stared out at the assembled kids and vampires (as well as one phaery, a giant frog and Jessica the bogey-girl too, except she was hiding behind the door—Jessica’s the shy type).

‘You may all wonder why I’ve called you here,’ chortled Mr Ploppy Bottom.

We all stared at him. ‘No, we don’t, sir,’ said Bruce,
puzzled. ‘It’s the school Halloween dance, remember, after the sports day which you organised.’

‘Oh, yes, I forgot,’ said Mr Ploppy Bottom vaguely. Then a fiendish grin spread across his face. It made a change from his ‘I am kind to kids’ beam, anyway. ‘But there is another reason! Tonight is Halloween, when the boundaries between the normal world and the world of the ugly and the terrifying grow very thin! One false move on Halloween and the deadly creatures from beyond the Gates of Reality are ready to invade!’

‘I didn’t know that,’ I whispered to Phredde, who’d fluttered up beside me.

Phredde nodded. ‘It’s true,’ she whispered back. ‘Didn’t they teach you that in kindergarten? Every phaery knows that you have to be really careful on Halloween. Too much magic in any one place can rip open the Gates of Reality and then the deadly creatures…’

Phredde stopped. ‘Uh-oh,’ she whispered.

‘Exactly!’ snickered Mr Ploppy Bottom. ‘That is exactly what I have been working to achieve! Pent-up, unused magic! It’s been a brilliant plan! Phaeries who cannot PING!, combined with a vampire football team unable to vampirise their opponents no matter how much they wanted to!’

‘Golly gosh, that is a filthy canard, you pusillanimous zoophyte,’ yelled Shaun. ‘We do not wish to vampirise our new comrades, just because we were not up to snuff in the football match. Well, not much,’ he added honestly.

Mr Ploppy Bottom gave a yell of laughter. It was proper insane laughter too, just like you hear from crazy people on TV. ‘But it is enough! This whole hall is
oozing pent-up magic! The Gates of Reality are about to open! And now! Now! Now…’

‘Now WHAT?’ I yelled. ‘Come on! Don’t keep us in suspense! What happens next?’

‘Just look out the door!’ whispered Mr Ploppy Bottom evilly. ‘And then you’ll see what happens next!’

That’s when the lights went out.

‘Phredde,’ I hissed. ‘PING! up some lights. Quickly!’

‘I can’t!’ Phredde whispered back. ‘It’s against school rules!’

‘But the school principal who made them is insane! And evil too!’

‘I can’t help it!’ whispered Phredde. ‘School rules are school rules.’

‘Look, you dingbat phaery,’ I began.

Suddenly there was a flicker in the darkness, and then another, and another. Red lights shone in the darkness. Weird, glowing, red lights scattered across the room…

‘It’s you guys, isn’t it?’ I cried to Shaun. ‘It’s your eyes lighting up!’

‘Indubitably!’ said Shaun. ‘That is how we discern our prey in the umbrageous
¹⁶
gloom!’

‘I thought you used those squeaky echo thingies?’

Shaun sighed. ‘Indubitably. But only when we are bats. When we’re in human form we can illuminate our eyes.’

A bright-yellow light joined the red ones.

‘Who’s eyes are they?’ I demanded. My voice was a bit shaky. I tried to steady it. Really, there was nothing to be scared of. Just a hall full of vampires with glowing red eyes, an insane school principal and deadly creatures from beyond the Gates of Reality and…

‘It’s only me,’ said Bruce comfortingly. ‘I brought a torch.’

‘Good idea,’ I said tremulously.

‘Yeah. It attracts moths. Yum,’ said Bruce.

Just then there was a commotion at the door. ‘Trick or treat!’ someone called sweetly.

Bruce shone his torch at the doorway. A small girl stood there. She was
sooo
cute, with brown curls and big blue eyes.

‘She’s not from our school,’ I whispered to Phredde.

Phredde shook her head. ‘I’ve never seen her before. She doesn’t look like a Batrock vampire either.’

The small girl stared into the hall. ‘Oh, a Halloween dance,’ she breathed. ‘I saw the lights from the street! Oh, please, please may I join in? It looks so lovely! I’ve never been to a dance before.’

‘Sure…’ I began, then stopped. ‘Phredde,’ I hissed, ‘what happens when the Gates of Reality are ripped open?’

‘The deadly creatures from beyond the Gates of Reality invade and try to destroy everyone,’ whispered Phredde.

‘Do the deadly creatures from beyond the Gates of
Reality destroy EVERYBODY? Or just one or two?’

‘Everybody,’ said Phredde hollowly.

‘What do the deadly creatures from beyond the Gates of Reality look like?’

‘It depends on the deadly creature. Bogeys just look lumpy and have bad teeth. And they stink. Then there’s Gwyllions and…’

‘Do any of them look like much-too-cute little girls?’

But it was too late. Shaun was moving through the crowd, his eyes fixed on the girl. ‘Oh, golly gosh, you poor wee mite,’ he crooned. ‘Most assuredly you can join us!’

‘I bet she’s luring him outside! Phredde, stop him!’ I cried.

‘How?’ shrieked Phredde.

‘PING! him back here!’

‘But I can’t…’

‘What the…’ I shoved my way through the crowd and grabbed Shaun’s shoulder, just as he reached for the girl’s hand.

ZANG! Sparks flew as soon as Shaun touched her hand. The girl’s pretty face melted and in its place was a burst of fire that reached out to Shaun, but I was in the way! Hot, red flames that seared and burnt so I was…

FLOINGGGGGGGGGGG!

Suddenly a bucket of water was in my hands. I threw it at the flames.

‘Noooooooo…’ The girl’s voice vanished into the darkness as she dissolved into a puddle.

I took a deep breath. ‘What was that?’

The other vampires were looking after Shaun—he was a bit shaken but seemed okay.

‘It was a deadly creature from beyond the Gates of
Reality,’ said Phredde helpfully.

I sighed. ‘I KNOW that. But what SORT of deadly creature?’

‘I think,’ said Phredde, ‘it was a Lhiannan-shee. People used to call them fairy sweethearts, but they’re not phaeries. They lure people out into the dark and then they…’

‘I can guess the rest,’ I said sourly, glancing over at Bruce, who was inspecting the supper table in case there were any flies on it. Why wasn’t he panicking that I may have been hurt? I couldn’t understand it! ‘Well, at least we’re safe now!’ I said to Phredde.

‘Actually…’ began Phredde.

I looked at her. ‘You mean we’re NOT safe?’

‘No,’ said Phredde.

‘There are more ghastly creatures from beyond the Gates of Reality?’

‘Yes,’ whispered Phredde.

‘More of those Lhany-what’s-its?’

‘Not THEM,’ said Phredde. ‘Others. They’ll keep coming and coming while the Gates of Reality are opened! They’ll try to destroy us! And the rest of the world too!’ she added.

‘Then how do we close the Gates of Reality?’ I demanded.

‘We can’t! We have to defend them till Halloween is over!’

‘When is Halloween over then!’ I yelled.

‘Midnight!’ declared Phredde. She looked a bit scared herself, which worried me. You don’t often see Phredde scared.

‘But I told Mum I’d be home by 10.30!’ I stared around the hall. I raised my voice to address everyone
in the hall. ‘Does ANYONE here know how to shut the Gates of Reality?’

I’d never thought a crowd could be so silent. There wasn’t a sound, apart from insane giggling from up on the stage.

‘Doomed, doomed!’ cried Mr Ploppy Bottom. ‘You’re all doomed! Every horrible magic one of you! Doomed by your own magic!’

‘But why?’ I yelled. ‘I’m not magic! There are lots of us who aren’t magic.’

Anyone who plays with magic should be doomed! All of you in this school! And Batrock Central too! Doomed! Doomed!’

Phredde snorted. ‘He gets a bit boring, doesn’t he?’

I nodded. I was trying to work out what to do next. I mean if we got this wrong we could all be…I shut my mind to that one. While I didn’t exactly know WHAT the creatures from beyond the Gates of Reality might do to us, it was a pretty good bet they weren’t going to bring us baskets of cherries and new video games.

But one thing was clear. It was up to me to protect the school! And the world!

‘It’s up to me to protect the school!’ I told Phredde.

‘Stop being a drama queen,’ said Phredde crossly. ‘This is serious!’

‘I’m not being a drama queen! Well, not much, anyway,’ I added honestly. ‘But look, my FLOING! will keep me safe! The deadly creatures from beyond the Gates of Reality can’t hurt me. But they CAN hurt the rest of you.’

‘She’s right,’ said Bruce. He’d hopped up without me noticing. ‘It has to be Pru who fights the deadly
creatures from beyond the Gates of Reality. Her FLOING! will protect her.’

I glared at him. Why wasn’t he doing the macho thing, like all those guys on TV who take charge and say,
No, leave it to me! I’ll fight the deadly creatures from beyond the Gates of Reality for you?

‘How come you know so much about FLOING!s?’ I demanded.

‘That’s what I was trying to tell you,’ said Bruce patiently. ‘I tried to tell you at your party, too, before you poured that banana custard all over me…’

‘I tripped,’ I said sullenly. ‘You just happened to be in the way.’

‘And then outside, before Mr Ploppy Bottom called us in. I wanted to tell you that…’ He stopped and cocked his froggy head to one side. ‘What was that?’ he whispered.

It sounded like something galloping. A few kids screamed. Someone fainted up by the stage. Mr Ploppy Bottom’s giggling grew louder.

The galloping noise grew closer and closer. I peered out the door, then took a breath in relief. ‘It’s only a guy on a horse!’ I called out to everyone.

Phredde peered around behind me. ‘Um, Pru,’ she said.

‘What?’ I was so relieved I didn’t have to go fight another hideous monster my voice sounded all giggly.

‘Take a closer look,’ warned Phredde.

I peered out into the gloom. One horse, one rider, with long black boots and a long black cloak and a long black sword and long black gloves and…and…

‘He’s got no head!’ I whispered. ‘He’s a headless horseman!’

Bruce peered out into the darkness. ‘Or a headless horsewoman,’ he corrected. ‘It’s hard to tell without the head.’

‘Okay, a headless horse-person! How am I supposed to fight someone with no head?’

‘Don’t worry. You can’t fail!’ Phredde reminded me.

‘Yeah. But maybe I can get my head cut off while I’m not failing!’

‘Crit, crit, crit,’ croaked Bruce.

I glared at him. ‘What does that mean?’

‘Sorry. I was swearing in froggish,’ apologised Bruce.

‘Well, that’s a great help!’ I muttered. ‘We’re in dire and immediate peril and all you can do is swear in froggish! You know what I think? I think you can take your froggish and…’

‘Er, Pru,’ said Phredde warningly.

‘And stuff it…’

‘Pru!’

‘…right up…yes, what?’

‘That headless horse-person is getting awfully close!’

‘She’s scared,’ snickered Amelia. She was dressed as a witch, which was just right for Amelia, though the white bandage on her ankle spoilt it all a bit. ‘Pru’s a scaredy pumpkin! Scared of a headless horse-person!’

I thrust my shoulders back. ‘I am not scared!’ I snarled. ‘You go fight the headless horse-person if you’re so brave!’

‘Me!’ Amelia blinked. ‘I can’t go because I twisted my ankle,’ she said hurriedly.

‘Huh!’ I snorted as I stepped out into the night.

How do you get rid of a headless horse-person? I tried to think quickly. ‘Um…go away!’ I yelled.

The horse galloped closer and closer still. My legs were saying,
Run! Run! Run!

So I did.

‘Oh, what the heck…’ I screamed, and ran forward, as fast as I could. It wasn’t much of a battle cry but YOU try being charged by a headless horse-person and see if you come up with a better one.

Gallop, gallop, gallop. (That was the headless horse-person.)

Flip flop, flip flop. (That was me, in my pumpkinseed slippers.)

Closer. Closer. The headless horse-person was nearly upon me! I drew the most fearsome weapon I owned—my foot—and kicked the horse right in the kneecaps and shut my eyes. This is IT, I thought. Either I’m going to be trodden into squelshy bits of sodden Prudence pumpkin or else…

FLOINGGGGGGGGGGG!

Or else I’ll be floating up above the hall while the headless horse-person goes PLIP! and vanishes. Then I’ll float down gently…

‘You did it!’ screamed Phredde.

‘I said she would,’ said Bruce smugly.

‘So what?’ said Amelia. ‘It was the FLOING! that did it really!’

‘But still Pru had to put herself in danger first for the FLOING! to be activated!’ Phredde pointed out. ‘It only works if she’s in danger.’

Suddenly Mr Ploppy Bottom was beside us, staring at me with his cold, cold eyes, while his too-friendly smile beamed at me.

‘Very good!’ he said, but something else dripped behind his words. ‘A brave little pumpkin indeed! Let’s
see how you cope with the next threat, hmm?’

‘The…the next threat?’ I whispered.

Mr Ploppy Bottom’s beam shone brightly over us all. ‘Oh yes. I’m sure there’ll be one. Aren’t you?’

And that was the trouble. Because I was sure too.