Authors: Jessica Stirling
âAfter a fashion, yes.'
âI'm not used to being teased.'
She pursed her lips and frowned slightly. âVery well, sir: I will not tease. I will simply point out a fact that seems to have escaped your attention and that should allay any fears you have about my family's attitude towards you.'
âWhat fact is that?'
âOur meeting was engineered.'
âAh!'
âWe weren't flung together. We were brought together.'
âAh-hah!'
âPonder for a moment,' Cissie said, âand you'll see that I'm right.'
âYes,' Tom said. âI believe you are.'
âPappy thinks you're the man for me, and what my pappy says goes.'
âWhat do you think, Cissie?' Tom asked.
âI think,' Cissie answered, âthat my dear old pappy has the soundest judgement of any person I know.'
âDoes that meanâ¦'
âThat you are the man for me? Of course it does,' said Cissie. âThere now, my dear Mr Calder, does that put your mind at rest?'
âNo,' Tom said.
âNo?'
âIt means I've got to start taking you seriously.'
âNot too seriously, I hope.'
âNo,' Tom said, ânot too seriously. Not just yet,' and, holding the brolly high, swept her through the gate of the 'Groveries into the ground of the Great Exhibition.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Thin grey cloud brought a prematurely early dusk. By nine o'clock the house on Brunswick Crescent was in shadow and, to Lindsay, seemed empty and sad.
Papa had somehow managed to obtain tickets for the Sousa concert and had taken Miss Runciman with him as a treat. Cook and Maddy had also gone to the exhibition but their tastes ran more to riding the water chute and the switchback. Lindsay had volunteered to stay at home to look after Nanny Cheadle who was too frail now to be left alone.
Nanny had been fed early. Lindsay had read to her until she had fallen asleep. She slept a great deal. Papa said that she would simply sleep her life away without pain or concern, for she knew that her time on earth was almost over and that she would soon have her reward in heaven. It was, Lindsay knew, no mawkish sentiment but a reflection of the crusty belief in God's mercy that sustained all die-hard Presbyterians. She didn't know what she believed in these days or what would sustain her when the end became the beginning, the beginning the end for, unlike Nanny Cheadle, she did not dwell secure in a knowledge of God.
She ate a cold supper in the dining-room, cleared the table and carried the dishes down to the kitchen. She looked in on Nanny once more, offered her tea, but the old woman was too drowsy to respond and, after lighting a wax night-light and placing it in a water-dish, Lindsay came downstairs again.
She was restless, loose-endish, agitated. She tried to study an article in
The Shipbuilder
but couldn't summon up concentration. She tried to lose herself in a novel but found that she had no interest in the fate of the fabricated characters. She closed the parlour door, tinkled listlessly on the piano, listened for Nanny, picked out another few bars of musical-hall melody, then, to her vast relief, heard the front doorbell ring. She went at once to open it.
âForbes! What are you doing here?'
âI want a quiet word with you,' he said. âYou don't seem awfully pleased to see me. Aren't you going to let me in?'
âOf course.'
She stood back and allowed him to enter. She watched him take off his oilskin slicker and hang it and his cap upon the hallstand. His hair was damp and he had a slightly dishevelled look that suggested he had walked from Aydon Road or, though she could not imagine why, all the way from the Institute.
She said, âIs it still raining?'
âNo, it's stopped.' He glanced at the darkened staircase; Lindsay had not yet thought to put on the lights. âWhere is everyone?'
âThey've gone to the exhibition.'
âWhat, all of them? Nanny too?'
âNo, Nanny's too sick to go anywhere.'
He pointed at the ceiling. âIs she upstairs?'
âYes.'
âBreathing her last?'
âShe's asleep, Forbes, that's all.'
He sauntered past Lindsay into the parlour.
âCan't last much longer, though, can she?' he said.
âProbably not.'
Lindsay reached for the electrical light switch but Forbes said, âLeave it. Gloaming's more romantic, don't you think?'
âI'm not feeling terribly romantic to tell the truth,' Lindsay said. âDo you want something to eat?'
âI thought you said the cook was out.'
âShe is. I'll make you an omelette if you like. I'm not entirely useless.'
âI know you're not,' he said. âSo they're all out, are they? Well, well!'
Lindsay moved away. Circling the upright music-stand, avoiding the sofa, she perched on one of the hard chairs that flanked the fireplace.
The fire had been set but not lighted. The day had been stiflingly hot and the air in the parlour had a sour, bakehouse smell that the rain had not eliminated. The recesses of the room were in almost total darkness but the light in the window was strengthened by contrast and Forbes moved against it like a shadow-shape.
âI haven't seen you in days,' she said. âWhere have you been?'
âBusy,' he said. âVery busy.'
âWhen are the diploma exams?'
âToo damned soon.'
âAre you not prepared?'
âAs prepared as I'll ever be.'
She put her hands on her knees and rocked a little. She was embarrassed to be alone with him. She struggled to find something to say, anything to say: âYou won't fail, will you?'
âOf course I won't fail,' he said. âAnd once I've got it, Linnet, I'm not going to hang around. I expect she'll be gone by then, your old Nanny, and those rooms upstairs will be vacant.'
âForbesâ¦'
âTalk to him. No, sod it,
don't
talk to him.
Tell
him. Tell him you want to marry me and can't wait any longer.'
âYou're too young, Forbes. You'reâ'
âChrist!' he said.
She lost sight of him as he merged with the shapes in the room.
Then she felt his hands upon her. He caught her under the armpits, pulling taut the fabric of her tea-gown.
She gave a little cry as he lifted her, then yielded, sliding from the chair into his arms. He thrust his mouth down, licked her neck with a tongue that was as rough and as sleek as a cat's. He kissed her mouth. She felt the sudden thickness of his tongue, the fierce weird thickness of penetration. When he pulled away she pursued him, seeking that wet, writhing contact once more. She did not even enjoy it: she needed it. He swung her around him, both her feet off the floor. He kicked the piano bench. It toppled and fell. He pushed her against the piano. She felt the hard satinwood mouldings press on her buttocks and spine, crushing her summer garments. He pinned his forearm across her breasts and pushed his hand between her legs.
She groaned when the heel of his hand found her, cupping her so fiercely that even through three layers of clothing she felt as if he might tear that part from her. She tilted her hips. When he took his hand away and pressed his body against her skirts she wrapped her arms about his waist and pulled him closer, so smotheringly close that there seemed to be nothing between them. She was aware that his breathing had become shorter and sharper until it seemed to have within it an element almost of panic; then, as she sagged against him, spending, he released three or four sharp little cries, high-pitched and more feminine than her own. She clung to him, trembling, appalled at the alacrity with which it had come about, at its clumsiness.
It was not as she had imagined it would be. She felt weakened by her inability to refuse him his will. She tried to stand upright but her knees were like jelly and Forbes, gasping, held on to her, not tenderly or demandingly but simply for support.
After a moment or two he pushed himself away. Saying nothing, offering no apology, no explanation, no word of gratitude or affection, he turned his back on her and attended to himself.
âForbesâ¦'
He glanced over his shoulder, his face chalk white in the half darkness.
âYou'd better do something about that mess,' he said.
Lindsay touched a hand to her dress.
âYes,' she said, âI'd better,' and hurried upstairs to change.
*Â Â Â *Â Â Â *
Her father looked up from his bacon and eggs. He had already demolished a full plate of porridge and several slices of hot buttered toast and, with the sun at his back, had a purring, contented air that Lindsay could only put down to the influence of John Philip Sousa bouncing through âThe Washington Post'.
She seated herself cautiously at the breakfast table. She had no pain, no actual discomfort, for nothing had been taken from her, but she felt leaden and listless and more than a little guilty at what had occurred last night.
âHow was the concert?' she made herself enquire.
Miss Runciman, also purring a little, doled out porridge.
âA wonderful experience,' the woman said. âDo you not agree?'
âI do. I do,' Arthur Franklin said. âQuite stunning, in fact.'
âScintillating, I believe, was the word you used last evening.'
âWas it? Yes, that's the word for it â scintillating.'
âSuch precision,' said Miss Runciman, passing a plate to Lindsay. âSuch meticulous phrasing. I have never heard trombones like it.'
âAnd the timpaniâ¦'
âCertainly made my heart beat faster,' Miss Runciman said.
Arthur scooped up a forkful of crisply fried egg and put it into his mouth. He made a round eye, then said, âHow are
you,
Linnet? How was
your
evening? Did anyone call?'
âCall?'
âOn the telephone?'
âNo, no one called,' said Lindsay.
âYou were in bed early, were you not?' said Miss Runciman.
âWell, Eleanor, we were rather late coming home,' Arthur put in. âAfter eleven it must have been.'
âI heard you,' Lindsay said. âI wasn't asleep.'
âNanny no trouble?' said Arthur.
âNone. She slept through â all evening, I mean.'
âShe is not a well woman,' Miss Runciman said. âI fear sheâ'
âHush now,' Arthur said. âLet's not hurry the poor soul away. She'll leave us in her own good time.'
âIn God's good time,' said Miss Runciman.
âQuite!' said Arthur. âOh, by the way, Lindsay, guess who we saw in the concert hall last evening?'
âI can't.'
âGo on, have a pop at it.'
âPapa, I can't. Really.'
âYour cousin Cissie.'
âOh?'
âIn the company of Tom Calder, no less.'
âTogether?' Lindsay said.
âAbsolutely,' her father said. âNo question about it, is there, Eleanor?'
âNone whatsoever,' Miss Runciman said. âBehaving like lovebirds they were. That, if you ask me, is a match in the making.'
âNonsense!' Lindsay heard herself say. âTom isn't interested in Cissie.'
âOh, yes, he is,' Arthur said. âAnd if he isn't then he ought to be horse-whipped for leading the poor lass on.'
âLove-birds, what do you mean by “love-birds”?' Lindsay said, almost indignantly. âTom isn't the “love-bird” type.'
âHow do you know?' said Eleanor Runciman.
âI â I just do.'
âMen change,' Miss Runciman said. âDo they not, Mr Arthur?'
âIndeed, they do. “Take a Pair of Sparkling Eyes”, and all that.'
âCissie's eyes don't sparkle,' Lindsay said.
âAh, but they do,' her father said. âAt least Tom Calder thinks they do.'
âWhat were they doing?' Lindsay said.
âListening to the music,' her father said.
âAnd holding hands,' Miss Runciman added.
âIn public?'
âGood Lord, Lindsay, what's got into you today?' said her father. âGot out of the wrong side of the bed, did you?'
âShe isn't for him,' Lindsay said. âCissie isn't right for Tom Calder.'
âThat's not for you to say,' Miss Runciman reprimanded. âAfter all there are those who might think that Forbes McCulloch isn't right for you.'
âWho?' Lindsay said. âCome along, out with it â who?'
âOh, please,' Arthur said. âDon't squabble. It's a beautiful morning and we should all be glad to be alive and fit enough to enjoy it.'
âDo you think Forbes is wrong for me, Miss Runciman?'
âNot I,' Miss Runciman answered, emphatically.
âPapa?'
Arthur Franklin shrugged. âNot for me to say, dearest, though I admit that Forbes isn't the sort of chap I'd have picked for you, given choice.'
âYou don't have a choice.' Lindsay realised that she was behaving badly. She had ruined her father's breakfast and his bountiful mood, but guilt made her headstrong and she pushed on, angrily. âForbes is my choice. My choice, do you hear? What's more I do intend to marry him.'
âWell,' her father said placatingly, âwe'll see, we'll see.'
Lindsay threw down her napkin and got to her feet. âWe will not see. I will marry Forbes if I want to and there's nothing you can do to stop me.'
âThat's true,' said Arthur, sighing.
âI'm tired of waiting. I intend to marry Forbes as soon as possible.'
âWhere will you stay?' Miss Runciman said innocently.
âHere.'
âPerhaps Forbes â your young man,' Miss Runciman said, âwill not be so keen to share you and a house with us.'
âYes, he will. It was his idea in the first place.'
âI might have known it,' Arthur said. âI might have damned well known that he would find a way of getting his feet under my table.' He leaned an elbow on the tablecloth and crashed his cheek into his fist. âThere's no stopping them, is there. Like mother, like son.'