The Playboy's Proposal (Sorensen Family) (18 page)

Well, it wasn’t like he’d asked the woman to do it, had he?

Lela, however, was now licking the mustard off her top lip, and he forced himself to look away.

And he’d thought coming along to the stupid date had been a bad idea. Asking Lela, a woman that he knew would annoy the hell out of Benny, might have been even worse. Why had he chosen her instead of any other nameless woman he’d gone out with in the past week?

Someone might say it was a form of punishment, some way at getting back at the woman who so evidently preferred Luke to him. But that was ridiculous. He had made it clear they should only be friends. That she
should
be with Luke.

Benny rolled her eyes now and grabbed Luke’s hand, lacing her fingers with his. It was hard to miss the softening on Luke’s face as he smiled back at her before lifting her hand and pressing a kiss to it.

Another punch to the stomach.

“There’s no way I can eat all these on my own,” Lela said and bit into one of the nachos. “Here.” Before he could say anything, she was pushing a cheesy chip his way, and he barely had time to open his mouth. Her finger reached out and dabbed at his mouth. “Sorry. You missed some.”

It was a trick from the same book he’d once tried to teach Benny. And he had to admit, it was kind of…annoying. From the look of open disgust he saw on Benny’s face a second later when he turned to see if she’d caught the moment, which she had, of course, she appeared to agree.

Although it didn’t stop her from picking up her churro and feeding a bite to Luke. Benny one-upped them all when she leaned over and removed the cinnamon sugar from his lips.

With a kiss.

For some reason, the superficiality of the whole thing suddenly made him furious. At the game, at Benny for playing it, and at men like him who thought women had to play. It was too much.

Benny shouldn’t have to sell herself out for anyone.

He waited until she excused herself to use the restroom, waylaying her outside the door before she could go in. The image of her kissing that sugar off Luke’s lips permanently emblazoned in his brain.

“What are you doing out there?” he asked, his tone harsher than he’d expected. He took a breath in and out, trying to explain. “Feeding him and kissing him like that? It’s a little desperate, don’t you think?”

“Really? You’re going to accuse
me
of desperation after you asked out Deep Throat out there. I almost threw up right then.”

He acted like he hadn’t heard her, unable to fully understand the anger and jealousy roiling in his gut. “And what’s with all the makeup? I thought you abhorred the whole glamazon thing. And now you’re dressing like someone else entirely?”

Her face went a deep shade of red. “Are you kidding?” she practically shouted. A few people passing them paused and looked over, and she lowered her voice. “Everything I’m doing—how I dress, how I act—is because you
told
me to. And now you’re judging me?”

Of course he’d told her all of that. He’d been an idiot and hadn’t realized then the utter perfection that was Benny Sorensen.

He raked a hand through his hair, trying to understand what he wanted to say. “Okay, so maybe I did. But I was wrong. Luke should be able to appreciate how great you are without all that.”

Luke should be able to see past it to the inner strength and beauty that was Benny.

She put her hands to her head as if to calm herself down and then returned them to her sides, her hands now balled in fists. “I don’t understand where this is coming from. This was what we were working for. And now that Luke and I are finally getting to know each other, you’re springing this on me? Whatever
this
is.”

He laughed in derision. “Getting to know each other? Is that what you’re doing? Because as I recall, up until Saturday, he was convinced you loved—and were quite adept at—playing golf. And sushi—how long are you going to pretend you like that? Up until the wedding? Maybe after the first child is born? I hardly think what you two are doing is being honest with each other.”

“That’s the most sanctimonious bunch of BS I’ve ever heard. What would you know about honesty? Coming from a man who was lapping up the same crap from Lela a few minutes ago, your words lack any real meaning.
That’s
the type of woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?”

“I’m not the one looking for happily-ever-after, one person forever, yada, yada. That’s you. I’ve been honest from the start about my expectations in a relationship. I’m just looking for fun. What’s wrong with going out with someone who likes to have fun? Who doesn’t look at every motive with cynicism like you do? Who doesn’t judge people or try to hold them up to the lofty standards you expect? We’re humans. Not cyborgs.”

Okay, so maybe he’d gone too far with that last part, especially after seeing the way she’d flinched.

“You know what your problem is, Henry? You pat yourself on the back for being so honest.
I’m Henry, I don’t do commitment
,” she said, dropping her tone to imitate him. “You’re not honest, though. You’re just a coward. You are too afraid to try and have anything real with someone because you’re worried they’ll see that, deep down, you have no substance. That you’re just a kid who never grew up. A woman, a relationship—they’re just toys to you, something you play with until the next shiny thing comes along. Isn’t that what you said all people were like? Looking for the best and brightest and newest? Well, I’ve got news for you, Henry. Real people aren’t like that. They have more substance, more maturity to find something good, something special, and make it work. Geez. I was such a moron to ever listen to you.”

Silence fell between them, her words weighing heavier on him than he’d have liked.

What had been his point in confronting her like this?

Because this? This conversation hadn’t been what he’d intended.

“Is everything okay here?” They both looked over, startled, to see a security guard next to them.

Henry smiled, even though it pained him to do so. “Everything’s fine.”

The guy was looking at Benny now, waiting for her agreement. “Yes, we’re finished,” she said, leveling her gaze on Henry. “Nothing to worry about.”

The guy nodded, and with a warning glance Henry’s way, walked away.

Benny took a deep breath in. “Henry, I’m going to use the restroom, and when I get back to the seats, I’d…I’d really like it if you and your date could be gone.”

He nodded. “Certainly. You two enjoy yourselves. I just want to ask one thing. If you’re never honest with Luke about what you truly want, how is he going to really know you? Stop trying. You shouldn’t have to.”

Before they could start another argument and continue saying things they could never take back, he walked away.

He remembered her words, though. About his cowardice. His superficiality. And his own comments that hadn’t been framed as eloquently as he would have liked.

Maybe…maybe it already was too late.

Chapter Nineteen

Benny sat back on her sister’s couch the next day and listened to Daisy argue with the girls upstairs that they’d had just as long of a snuggle time as their brother, Paul, and to stop getting out of bed or there would be no TV time in the morning. It was a familiar argument and despite the tears and sadness that had hung over her all day, she smiled at the antics.

Benny had arrived at Daisy’s about an hour before, not long after her sister had called to demand an explanation for why Benny had skipped family dinner. Daisy hadn’t bought the story she’d given their mom about coming down with the stomach flu and insisted Benny come over that night to explain or she’d haul the three kids over to Benny’s. It was as if ever since her sister had become a mom, she’d developed some radar that told her when something was wrong.

Even if Benny couldn’t entirely understand what was wrong herself.

That explosion at the ballgame yesterday? To say it was unexpected was an understatement. That Henry had the gall to call her on her behavior had been infuriating. And what he’d said after had been…devastating.

So much so that after she’d returned to her seat and found that Henry had followed her advice and taken off with his date—something that she’d instantly regretted saying, along with a lot of others—she’d felt even worse. It hadn’t been hard to beg off after the game, pleading she wasn’t feeling well, even though she knew that, like Henry had accused, she wasn’t being fully honest. But she’d needed time to regroup.

Or fall apart.

And that’s what she’d done for the past twenty-four hours—fall apart and try to figure out how everything had gone wrong. Why she felt so horrible.

A few minutes later, Daisy was on couch next to her. Waiting. “So what happened? Did you and Luke get into some sort of argument?”

Benny smiled a little wistfully. “Luke and I? Hardly. We have nothing to argue about. Being with him is so…easy.”

“Then what’s wrong? Why have you been crying all day—and don’t try to deny it, I can spot the signs.”

Well, they’d actually be kind of hard to miss, what with Benny’s eyes and face as puffy as the Pillsbury Dough Boy, which was precisely why she’d avoided her family and dinner tonight, to avoid these very questions.

Benny sighed. Trying to figure out exactly where to start things. Because it had started much earlier than yesterday. More like the moment she’d make that deal with the devil.

So she jumped back, relaying to Daisy exactly what she’d been up to the past few weeks with the makeover, the clothes, the golf lessons. Stopping short of detailing the feelings that had developed out of nowhere for the wrong guy.

“So as I understand this, you and Henry have been working together to make you into someone else? Like a real-life Henry Higgins and Eliza Doolittle?” Daisy asked.

“Something like that, I suppose,” Benny said almost sheepishly.

“I see,” Daisy said, but she sounded confused while also—knowing Daisy—a little hurt. “Why did you think you couldn’t tell me this?”

Benny shrugged. “I guess I was a little embarrassed. I mean, you’ve never had to worry about catching a guy’s attention. They’re naturally drawn to you. I’ve never known how to act or talk around guys. Not that they were ever looking. I mean, I’ve never really been much to look at.”

“What are you talking about? Benny Sorensen, you make it sound like you were some sort of golem or something. You have always been so funny and strong and independent.
And
pretty.”

Benny snorted. “Come on, Daisy. I was a lot of things, but pretty was never one of them.”

“Are you freaking kidding me? You have those amazing blue eyes, lashes I’d give my right leg for, and you’ve never had to worry about stuffing your bra. You’re funny and smart, not to mention that you just have this way of feeling so…certain about everything.”

Benny looked into her sister’s dark eyes, pretty and hypnotic, full lips that easily smiled and beguiled. “Great big boobs and great eyes. Just what every girl wants to hear. Daisy, you have to know that you are, and always have been, the beauty of the family. You never had to try with guys. They just wanted you. I, on the other hand, couldn’t get one to take a second look at me.”

Daisy shook her head, still disbelieving. “Like who? I don’t remember you ever even being interested in a boy when we were growing up.”

“Scottie.”

Daisy’s mouth opened and then closed as she thought another moment. “The lifeguard?”

Benny nodded. “That summer, didn’t you think it was odd that I dragged myself to the community pool nearly every day with my pile of library books? Me, the girl who hated wearing a swimsuit and usually shunned the sun? I was there because I hoped that maybe, just maybe, Scottie would look at me and see me as someone he might…like.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? I would never have dated him had I known you liked him.”

“It didn’t matter. He didn’t want me.”

“That’s not fair. Benny, think about it. He and I were both eighteen. You were…what? Fourteen? I don’t think Scottie would have dismissed you because you weren’t his type, but because you were still a kid. You know, when we were dating, he always liked you. He thought you were funny and cute. Do you remember that time we took you with us to the Fourth of July fireworks show? We were all set to go and you were in lying on the couch reading a book. It was his idea to bring you along. And why? Because he liked you. Maybe not the way you wanted, but with time and age, that could have changed.”

Benny hadn’t known any of that. Especially about the Fourth. She’d been certain that Daisy had dragged her with them because she felt sorry for her. “He really thought I was cute? You’re not just saying that to try and make me feel better?”

“You were cute. You
are
cute. There is nothing to make up. Which is bringing me to my second question. Why did you think you had to change at all? I mean, come on, Benny. You’re the success here. Out of the two of us? You’ve always been so smart and independent, knowing what you wanted and then setting out to get it. You’re a doctor, for crying out loud, and everyone is so proud of you, me included. But what can anyone say about me? I’m the failure of the family. I didn’t get good grades in school and never really knew what I wanted to do when I grew up. Two months pregnant with Jenna, I dropped out of college before I even completed my degree to get married to Leo. Being pretty only goes so far. Now I’m divorced and, other than three of the most amazing kids on the planet, what do I have to show for myself? If anyone needs a makeover here, it’s me.”

Benny had never ever thought of her sister as a failure. But hearing Daisy say all of that, she could see her sister believed it. Daisy thought Benny was the success. It was like her world was being flipped upside down.

“Daisy, you are not a failure, and I’m so sorry that you could ever believe that. You are smart and warm and have the biggest heart of anyone I know. You also have your own talents. You started over with nothing, financially wiped out, and over the past year you have found a job you love, moved you and the kids out of our parents’ home and into a place you’re paying for on your very own, and your kids are bright and smart and happy. You are a success.”

They looked at each other for a moment before Daisy reached forward and pulled Benny into a hug. “You are, too. Don’t sell yourself short.”

This time, the tears that filled Benny’s eyes weren’t because of her own pain, her own self-pity, but in realizing that she wasn’t the only one who’d thought she wasn’t good enough.

Who would have thought that Daisy could ever have been jealous of
her
. It seemed insane.

Tears wiped away, Daisy studied her again. “So…is it Henry you want?”

That had come out of nowhere. “What?”

“Don’t play coy with me. I’ve seen you two together. We all have. It’s clear you guys are crazy for each other. What you’re doing with this Luke guy—perfect dream guy or not—is beyond me. Is that why you’re upset? Did something happen with Henry?”

“You could say that.” She dropped forward, covering her face with her hands. “There may have been a few more things we practiced together.”

Daisy sat openmouthed as Benny detailed the first kiss she and Henry had shared on her couch followed up with the totally unexpected but heart-stopping kiss out in the garden at their parents’ on Sunday. Not to mention last night’s horrible fight.

There was a moment of silence as Daisy continued to process.

“Are you going to say anything? Because I feel like a totally horrible person right now, having said those things to Henry. Half of them weren’t even really true. Then there’s the utter crap he said to me.”

More silence as her sister studied the ceiling.

“What? What are you not saying?”

“I think both of you embellished things a bit, but I also think there was some truth in each of your comments.”

Benny blinked. “Wait. Whose side are you on?”

“Yours. Always yours. It’s just that…Henry does have a point. If you’re not being yourself—not being the same outspoken, strong-minded person who I love and appreciate, then you
aren’t
being honest. How can you know if you’re right for each other if you can’t tell Luke something as simple as the fact that you hate sushi?”

“I
will
be honest with him. Just like with the golf, in time I will…” She trailed off. It was hard to hold on to a position that you were beginning to doubt yourself. “Okay, but the thing is, Henry told me to do all this—be this person who licks her lips, bats her eyes, pretends avid interest in anything her date says—and it’s a tad hypocritical now for him to chew me out for following his advice.”

“Yes…Henry. That leads me to the other question. Why was he so outraged by it all? If he is ‘just a friend’ and not interested in you, why does he feel so strongly about seeing you feed a churro to your date?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea.”

“Don’t you?” her sister asked, smiling. “Because I think that maybe Henry is feeling something stronger for you than friendship. But because of this distorted view you have of yourself and your own value, you’ve convinced yourself that Henry could never be interested in someone like you. The thing is, until you tell him the truth about how you truly feel, put it all out there, how will you really know?”

“Know how I feel?”

Her sister just smiled.

Was Benny that transparent? Because the truth had been hitting her over the head for the past couple of weeks, but she’d refused to accept it. She studied her hands. “That I love him.”

“Yeah, you dope. That you love him. Have you seen him at all since last night?”

Benny shook her head. “No, I’ve been hiding out in my bedroom all day up until now.”

“Chicken.”

Benny laughed, even though the prospect of doing what her sister was proposing—telling Henry that she loved him—had her absolutely terrified.

She came to her feet, already feeling the tiniest bit hopeful.

“Heading home already?”

“I’ve got a lot of thinking to do. A few people to speak to.”

One person she
needed
to speak to. Needed to tell how she really felt, now that she was ready to recognize it herself.

…

Henry had been stalking his front door, listening for the sound of the elevator all day with the hopes of catching a glimpse of Benny.

He felt horrible for how things had gone last night, for things that were said. And he needed to know whether she finally came clean to Luke about everything. Let him truly see who she was.

Even if that prospect completely terrified Henry.

Because Luke was everything that Benny wanted. A true hero who was compassionate and honorable, not at all superficial or—how had she described Henry? With no substance. There was nothing stopping them from being crazy happy together.

And so what? So she’d be happy. Henry had been perfectly happy before Benny Sorensen came into his life, and he’d continue to be happy long after she rode off on that priggish white horse with Saint Luke.

He was happy, damn it.

Someone knocked on the door, bringing his pacing to a halt. He was certain that he hadn’t heard the elevator. Henry sauntered to the door, curious.

It was Benny.

He opened the door, noticing her flushed face and her heavy breathing. Had she taken the stairs to the tenth floor?

“Hey,” she said breathlessly.

That’s it? Okay, he could be casual, too. “Good evening.”

“Can I come in? I promise I won’t yell at you or insult you,” she said in a tone that was almost…upbeat.

“Of course.”

He stepped aside to let her in and shut the door. Had he imagined the evening before? Or put too much weight on their words, spoken in anger? He was new at this ‘just friends’ stuff. Maybe blowups like that were par for the course.

“Is everything okay?” He studied her face, finally noticing the red-tinged, swollen eyes. She’d been crying? “What happened, did something happen with Luke?” he demanded, more abruptly than he’d intended.

“No,” she said and smiled slightly. “Nothing like that. I, uh…well, I’ve been doing some soul-searching since our talk yesterday. And after a conversation with Daisy today, I’ve reached a few realizations.”

He nodded, trying not to feel alarmed. “Do you want to have a seat?”

“No. I don’t think I could sit right now. I’m too nervous. I just need to get this off my chest.” She took a few steps closer, her gaze on the floor, as if gathering her thoughts. “The past few weeks have really surprised me. Not just because I liked my haircut or my new clothes, or the attention I suddenly was getting. It surprised me because I found myself actually enjoying one more unexpected thing…spending time with you.” She looked up now, meeting his gaze. “I like hanging out with you.”

She couldn’t like at him like
that
. All soft and hopeful. It was playing havoc with his head. He swallowed but remained still as she went on.

“Whether it’s watching television from my couch, getting golf instructions at the crack of dawn, or watching my brothers beat the crap out of you…I enjoy my time with you. You make me laugh, sometimes at myself, sometimes at you. Then last Sunday, when we kissed on the garden bench, I—I lied when I agreed with you about it being a mistake. Kissing you was one of the truest moments in my life. Because sometime in the past few weeks, I went and fell in love with you. Not with Luke, with you,” she said, her voice trembling at the end as she continued to gaze at him, her blue eyes bright and hopeful. “And I think that you feel the same way.”