He covered my hand with his and turned his head to press his lips against my palm. “Then I hope you're ready to stay forever because I'm not letting you go.”
A thrill went through me, but I still cautioned myself to temper my hope. Forever was a long time, and people changed. I would take it though, however long I had with him. I kissed the tip of his nose, smiling as he chuckled.
“I need to get cleaned up,” I said.
I could feel his eyes on me as I walked up the stairs. Unlike before, when I'd felt someone watching me, there was no concern, no fear, only warmth and desire.
I took my time in the shower, more out of necessity than anything else. I'd wrapped my hand in one of the bathroom trash bags to prevent it from getting wet, but I could still only use my right hand to wash, and considering how much blood I still had to get off of me, it wasn't an easy task. When I stepped out onto the bathmat over a half hour later, however, I felt clean. The cut on my hip hadn't needed stitches, but I did need to replace the bandage, which took a little more skill to do one-handed. By the time I was finished, I was glad the damage had been done to my left hand. If it had been my right, I wasn't sure I would've been able to manage much of anything on my own.
I'd used the shower in the guest room, so when I came out, I was able to just toss my towels towards the laundry basket and crawl under the covers. I'd fully intended to wait until Rylan came to bed, but my body and mind clearly had other ideas. My last conscious thought was how good it felt to be back in this bed and then I went under.
When I woke up, it was dark but I didn't panic. I recognized the arms around me, the naked body warm against my back. Rylan had showered too. He smelled of soap and that other scent that was just him. His breathing was slow and even, telling me I'd been asleep long enough for him to have showered, come to bed and fallen asleep.
I slowly rolled over in his arms. I wanted to see his face. I'd done my best to memorize it, but a memory couldn't compare to the real thing. There was enough light coming in through the crack between the curtains that I could just make out his features. Softened in sleep, I marveled at how young he looked. The worry lines that he'd accumulated over the last few months had smoothed out. Guilt stabbed me. They were my fault.
I didn't want to wake him, but I needed to touch him, almost more than I needed air. I traced his eyebrows with the tip of a finger and then down the straight line of his nose. As my finger ran along his bottom lip, he stirred, but didn't wake. He made a small sound and his hands tightened around me. His cock twitched against my thigh, sending a rush of arousal through me.
“There are so many things I wish I could say when you're awake,” I whispered as I ran my fingers down his cheek. “Tell you how you make me feel safe, how much I love you. How much I need you.” I pushed hair back from his face. “How hard it was for me to walk away and how selfish I am for not lying to you now so you would leave me.”
The thought of what would have happened if I'd lied, of being alone right now chilled me to the bone and I snuggled closer to him, welcoming the heat of his body. I rested my head against his chest. My fingers played across the hard muscles there.
“I swear,” I murmured. “I will do everything in my power to not make you regret giving me a second chance.”
“You don't have to do anything.” Rylan's voice was low.
I didn't look up at him, but I stiffened. “How much did you hear?”
“Enough,” he said. He kept one arm tight around my waist and reached down with the other hand to hook his finger under my chin and tilt my head up so we were looking at each other. “I'm only going to say this one time, so you need to listen.”
I nodded mutely. His touch wasn't harsh, but there was an edge to his tone that told me he was serious.
“No one is allowed to make the woman I love feel like she is less than everything to me. Not even the woman I love.”
He kissed me then, hard enough to make me whimper as his mouth pressed against my injured lip. He didn't stop though, one hand burying itself in my hair to cup the back of my head as he rolled us over until he was above me, taking his weight on his elbows even as I parted my legs so he could rest between them. He thrust his tongue into my mouth, his teeth bruising against my lips. I made another sound, pain mixed with pleasure and I wasn't even sure which I was feeling at the moment.
My body was on fire every place we were touching, my nipples hardening as they rubbed against his chest. My bottom lip was throbbing in time with my heartbeat and Rylan sucked the injured flesh into his mouth, his tongue gently soothing it for a moment before releasing me from his kiss.
His eyes were fierce, nearly black in the dim light. “I never want to hear you talk that way about yourself again, do you understand me? Never.” He rested on one elbow as he grabbed my good hand by the wrist and stretched it out above my head. “I love you and I won't have you thinking you don't deserve it.”
His touch was gentle as he took my injured hand and moved it up to join the other. He lightly kissed my jaw and I tilted my head so that he could continue down my neck. I moaned as his teeth scraped against my throat.
“And if you ever say anything like that again, there will be...consequences.” His voice dropped even further until the last word was nearly a growl. He bit the place on my neck where my pulse throbbed and I knew I was going to have a mark. “Do you understand?”
“Yes.” The word came out in a hiss of air as one of his hands covered my breast.
He raised his head, the expression on his face softening. “You're everything to me, Jenna.” The hand on my breast was caressing rather than squeezing. “I need you so badly that sometimes I feel like I can't even breathe.”
“Me too,” I confessed. I forced myself to admit the rest. “And it scares the hell out of me.”
“I'll never hurt you, Jenna.” He lightly touched the side of my face. “You don't have to be scared of me.”
I laughed softly. “I'm not scared of you, Rylan. I'm scared of me.” He frowned, confusion plain on his face. “I'm afraid I won't be strong enough.”
“Then we'll be strong enough together,” he said. “Because I won't lose you again.”
His lips were gentle against mine this time. When he pulled away, he started to sit up.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
He gave me a wry grin. “I need to...” He glanced down with a meaningful look in his eyes. “Take care of something. I'll be right back.”
Instinctively, I crossed my arm over my breasts, turning my head away. I knew it was foolish to feel like he'd rejected me, but I couldn't stop it.
“Hey, what is it?” His voice was so full of concern that I didn't want to look at him. He didn't give me a choice though, turning my head back with a firm hand.
“It's nothing,” I said, hoping it was dark enough he couldn’t see the tears burning in my eyes.
“Don't lie to me.”
“It's nothing,” I insisted. “My emotions are just fucked up from the crazy day.” That was the truth, but I doubted if he'd accept it as the whole truth.
He didn't.
I watched as his eyes moved from my face down to where my arm was covering my breasts as well as it could. Understanding dawned.
“You just had one of the worst possible days and you're in pain. I'm not going to take advantage of you.” He moved my arm back up over my head and reached down to run his thumb over my nipple. “No matter how badly I want you right now.”
The part of me that always insisted I question everyone and everything was telling me that he was only saying what he thought I wanted to hear. I looked at his eyes, his desire clear. I ran my gaze down his body to where his cock was hard, curving up towards his stomach, swollen and ready.
I told that part of me to shut up. Rylan loved me and he wanted me. I was done sabotaging my own happiness because I thought I didn't deserve it. I knew from experience that it wouldn’t be as simple as a single time telling those feelings to go away, but for tonight, that negative voice fell silent.
I smiled up at Rylan. “What if I want you to take advantage of me?” My smile widened as a shudder ran through him.
“Don't, love.” He groaned. “If you're not sure. I don't think I could handle stopping.”
“Then don't.” I reached down and put my hand between my legs, my fingers easily sliding between my lips. “Please, Rylan. I need you inside me.”
I wasn't sure which part broke his resolve, but it didn't matter because he was pulling my hand away, pinning it above my head as he eased his way inside.
“So fucking tight,” he said through gritted teeth. “It's been too long.”
I nodded, unable to speak. I was surprised I could even breathe. Every cell in my body was focused on the place where he was entering me. I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to have him stretching me so wide, filling me. His fingers tightened around my wrist, just adding to the sensations coursing through me. Even the pain from my injuries had faded into the background, overshadowed by the intensity of everything else.
I'd thought he'd come to me the same way he'd kissed me, that fierce, rough claiming, but he didn't. He stopped for a moment when he'd gotten all the way inside, his breath hot against my cheek. When he began to move, his strokes were slow and steady. His muscles flexed against the insides of my thighs and I began to raise my hips to meet his thrusts. I wanted to touch him, but his grip on my wrist was firm and I was aware enough to know to keep my left hand immobile. All I could do was squeeze him inside me, use my legs around him to pull him deep and hard.
Another shudder ran through him and I knew he was close. I turned my head so that my lips were pressed against his ear. “Come for me, love. Come in me. I'm here and I'm not leaving.”
I felt tears hot against my neck as he cried out my name. He surged forward to bury himself deep as he came. I ground up against him, giving myself the extra friction I needed to join him in release. As he slumped down on me, he released my wrist and I wrapped my arms around him, letting the pleasure carry us, together. I closed my eyes, suddenly aware of the enormity of what I'd almost lost.
Never again, I promised myself. No matter how insecure I felt, I would never leave him again. We belonged together in a way that I couldn't explain. I didn't have to explain it though. It was enough that it existed and that we both felt it. Things wouldn't be easy, I knew that, but I also knew now that it didn't matter how hard they got because nothing was more real than what was between us.
I held him inside me even as we fell back asleep, secure in the knowledge that tomorrow was a new day and that we'd go into it together.
Chapter 28
The pain in my hand woke me up, but finding myself wrapped in Rylan's arms, my head on his chest, I found it difficult to want to move. Thanks to my past, I actually had a high tolerance for pain, but broken bones were never pleasant. I started to pull myself out from Rylan's embrace when I felt him move.
“Sorry,” I murmured as I tried to sit up without jarring my hand.
“I was already awake,” he said as he helped me sit. “Here.” He held out a small white pill. Once I took it, he reached back to the bedside table and handed me a bottle of water.
I swallowed the medicine gratefully and gave him back the water. I sighed as I leaned back against the pillow, waiting for the pain killer to kick in.
“Yesterday,” Rylan started to speak, hesitated and then continued. “I didn't actually ask you if you still wanted to move in here with me.”
I looked over at him, surprised as much by his tone as I was by the words. “Do you love me?” I asked him the same question he'd asked me on the drive from the hospital.
“Yes. You know I do.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“Of course not.” He reached down and grasped my good hand.
I smiled at him, lifting our hands so that I could press my lips against the back of his. “Then I'm home.”
He leaned forward and gently kissed me. “Good.” He released my hand and climbed off of the bed. “Now, you stay right there and I'll go make you breakfast.”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “It's a couple broken fingers and some bruises. I'm not an invalid. We'll eat in the kitchen.”
He chuckled. “That's my girl.”
The words warmed me and did more for diminishing the pain in my hand than the pill had. I watched him walk into the bathroom, admiring the length of him, the muscles flexing under his tanned skin. Desire hit me hard, twisting all of those things low inside me. Not for the first time, I wondered if it would fade over time. Would there be a point where I could look at him and not want him?
I hoped not.
There was something soothing about sharing the morning rituals, like it was what we'd always been meant to do. We both dressed simply. Him in a pair of sweatpants, me in one of his shirts and a pair of boxers. As I brushed out my hair, he came up behind me and slid his arms around my waist, his hands moving under his shirt so that he could place his palms against bare skin.
“Have I mentioned recently how much I love seeing you in my clothes?” He nuzzled behind my ear. “Even more when I know you're not wearing anything underneath them.”
“Which reminds me,” I said, leaning back against his warm, broad chest. “We need to talk about getting my things moved over here. Specifically, my clothes.”
“Nope.” He shook his head. His reflection showed the laughter in his eyes. “I like this better.”
His hand slid down, moving underneath the elastic waistband. I sucked in air as his finger parted my folds.
“Easier access.”
I would've made a smart comment but I was having difficulty thinking with his finger rubbing my clit. The hand still around my waist moved up and he cupped my breast. It didn't take him long to bring me to orgasm and he held me there, his teeth and tongue teasing my ear as he whispered all of the things he wanted to do to me today. By the time he took a step back, I had to put my hand on the dresser to keep from falling and his sweatpants were doing little to conceal how much he'd enjoyed himself.