Read The Price of Butcher's Meat Online
Authors: Reginald Hill
The way he stressed
affairs
got me curiousâbut our interesting chat must have been observedâfor now it was interrupted by a sergeant-major bellowâTeddy!âwhat are you doing down there?âTime for lunch!â
The bart flinchedâ& made a faceâbut he still started to get to his feet.
Shes really got him at the end of a leashâI thought as we headed back to the group. Must be hard for both of themâhaving to be careful who they got the hots for in case Lady D disapproved. Wonder how shed feel about me?
I was soon to find out!
The women were all on their feet. Clara was gathering up their stuffâbagsâtowelsâLady Ds folding chairâwhile Esther gazed out to sea like she was trying to freeze it over. Lady D greeted me with a stern lookâthen she saidâMiss Heywoodâif you could lend me your armâtoo much sitting makes me stiffâ
Not much sign of stiffnessâthe speed with which she walked me away from the othersâbut it quickly became clear what she wanted was a private chat.
âa word to the wiseâshe saidâTeddy is a fine young manâ
âyesâI noticedâI said.
That got me a sharp glanceâthen she went onâbut alasâhe may flatter to decieveâ
âyou mean hes not to be trusted with a girls affections!âI exclaimedâall shock horror.
âof course I dont mean that!âI am talking of his circumstancesâshe declaredâHe may look like a good catchâbig mansionâexpensive watchâbut Denham Park is entailedâcannot be soldâ& needs more spent on it in repairs than it would probably fetch anyway. As for the watchâ¦
âYesâI noticed the RolexâI saidâall bright eyedâthinking no harm in letting the old cow peg me as a predatory fortune hunterâcould lull her into a false sense of security if I decide to have me wicked way with the bart!âThat must be worth 5 thou of anyones money!â
âyes indeedâshe said triumphantlyâmine!âit was Sir Harrysâmy late husbandsâTeddys uncle. I gave it to Teddy as a mementoâthere was nothing in the willâyou understandâbut I beleive Sir Harry would have wanted itâfamily meant much to himâ& as Teddys circumstances have meant he has had to part with many Denham heirloomsâit is good he should retain at least one itemâto remind him of dear Harryâ& better daysâ
MeaningâI interpretedâthat Teddy wouldnt dare flog itâcos shed be asking him the time whenever they met!
WellâI had news for herâId wondered why the bart took off his Rolex before entering the waterâthose things are supposed to be still working when theyre dredged up from a ten year old shipwreck. So when I collected the guys trunksâI checked it outâ& its definitely a Hong Kong jobâ20 quid off a sampanâyou could bend the expanding “gold” bracelet with two fingers if you took a fancy to! I reckon Ted-on-the-rocks has flogged the originalâ& invested in a fakeâto fool auntie. Could explain how come he could afford a Buell. That won-it-in-a-lottery story had sounded pretty feeble!
Good for him!âI thoughtâ& I said to herâyesâI understandâ& Im sure someone as attractiveâ& talentedâas Teddy will have little difficulty in finding someone his equal in nameâ& his superior in incomeâ
Nicely putâeh?
She noddedâ& smiledâ& saidâIm so pleased we understand each otherâmy dearânow I must toil up this path to lunchâ
She let go of my armâ& Essâwhod been veiwing our tete-a-tete with great suspicionâwent into ministering angel modeâleaping forwardâpresumably to ensure Lady Ds foot did not dash against a stone.
Her ladyship did not look at herâbut gazed on me assessingly. I guessed she wanted to reward me for being a sensible peasantâpossibly with an invite to lunchâwhich I wasnt crazy aboutâbut might just acceptâto put Esthers nose out of joint!
Then she saidâin a very measured extremely condescending toneâMiss Heywood do tell Tom Parker to bring you to my hog roast this Sundayâ
Her
hog roastâwhichâaccording to Maryâthe consortium was paying for!
I resisted the temptation to do a curtsyâ& saidâthat would be lovelyâbut Im probably going home on Saturdayâ
I expected her to react sort of amazed anyone could turn down a royal inviteâinstead she saidâyesâof courseâyour family must miss youâfamily loyalties are so important. Come if you change your mindâmeanwhileâdo feel free to stay here as long as you likeâ& dont be afraid to come againâwhenever the public beach is fullâ
There! In my placeâor what?
I felt like kicking sand in her face.
Instead I saidâvery dignifiedâthank youâso kindâbut I really ought to get back to my friendsâ& off I stalked!
Id gone about a dozen yards when Teddy caught up with me.
âdont take any notice of the old batâhe saidâshe cant help itâstill thinks were living in the dark ages!â
Which might have impressed me with his independenceâif he hadnt still been whisperingâfor fear of being overheard!
I saidâbetter get backâelse you might be sent to bed without any lunchâ
He grinnedâhes got a great grinâ& saidâwho cares about lunchâso long as the company in beds good? LookâId like to see you againâsoonâ
I saidâpushing itâis that an invitation to Denham Park then?âor do you need permission to invite someone to your own home?â
He wincedâthen saidâof course notâthough I warn youâthe plumbings terrible! What Id really like is to give you a rideâon the Beast I mean. You could borrow Ests leathers. The trick isâto get the full experienceânot to wear anything at all underneath!â
Who writes this guys scripts?!!
Butâlike a good thrillerâit may be a load of crapâbut you cant stop reading it!
I saidâIll think about itâ& scrambled over the rocksâback to the main beachâeven more crowded now than before. Suddenly the peace & friendliness of Kyoto House seemed very attractive.
So off I set to trudge back up the hill.
But my exciting adventures werent over yet!
Howeverâyoull have to wait for the next exciting episodeâas I have to go & interview a woman who says that an infusion of whortleberries & a nettle oil massage have taken 20 years off her age.
You seeâIm a working girl too!
Â
Much love
Charley xxx
Hi again!
Well that was fun! If the berries & nettles have made her 20 years youngerâshe must have been nigh on 100 before. Fits under my
grasping at straws
category. Ready to beleive anything except that youre going to die.
Back to the land of the living. Now where was I� Oh yes. The foot of the hill.
The road up North Cliff seemed a lot steeper than when Id come downâ& showing off to the bart had taken more out of me than I thought. By the time I reached Witch Cottage I was ready for a restâso I sat on the little garden wall. There was an ancient motorbike plus sidecar parked outside. Some poor sod hoping to alleviate his saddle soreness by having needles stuck in his bumâI theorized.
I heard the door open behind meâ& glanced round to see Yan Lee ushering a man out. He was wearing motorbike leathersâ& putting on a helmetâbut the brambly beard was a dead giveaway. It was Gordon Godleyâthe healer from Willingdene. I remembered Tom saying hed agreed to come overâto check the setup here in Sandytown. Remembered too my sense he knew a lot more about the setup here than hed let on.
& when I saw them exchange a hug & a kissânot a one cheek peck eitherâbut a full lip jobâI thought hello!ânot so unworldly after allâbit of pillow talk going on here Id guessâwonder if theres a book on faith healing in that
Teach Yourself
series!
When he clocked me sitting on the wallâhe stopped dead in his tracks like hed seen a rabid Doberman. Behind him Miss Lee gave me her little Oriental bobâwent back insideâ& closed the doorâleaving him & me standing facing each otherâboth stock stillâlike a pair of gunfighters in a spaghetti westernâeach waiting for the other to make a move. While his biking leathers didnt do for him what they did for the bartâthey did have a juvenating effectâ& I adjusted my estimate of his age down a few notchesâmore 45 than 55â
He cracked first & finally started toward me like a man on his way to the gallows!
Funnyânot nice having a really off-putting effect on somebodyânot even somebody you dont care a toss about! Id have moved off without passing the time of dayâbut I felt I owed it to Tom to make it clearâin case Mr G hadnt grasped it on our previous meetingâthat I wasnt a permanent blot on the village landscape. Wouldnt want it on my conscience that I was responsible for putting the Sandytonians out of reach of godly Gordons healing hands!
So I said brightlyâhelloâMr Godley. Charlotte Heywoodâremember? (Not that there was much doubt of thatâthe way he was looking at me!)âOn your way to see Mr Parkerâare you? Im staying with the family for a couple of days. Its lovely round hereâisnt it? (Doing my best to give the place a puff!)âbut I wont be sorry not to have to face this hill every dayâ
Even as I said itâI thoughtâoh no!âsounds like youre trying to hitch a ride!
Sure enoughâwhat I could see of his face beneath the fungus turned color a couple of timesâlike you when youre nerving yourself up to go in off the high board!âthen he mumbled something about a lift.
My first instinct was to sayâno way!â
Then I thoughtâdont be a pratâyouve cut off your nose to spite your face once already by letting Lady Ds patronizing ungraciousness drive you off her empty beach. Its stupidâ& bloody difficult!âto cut off your nose again.
Soâa moment laterâI was sitting in the sidecarâbouncing up the hill!
I couldnt help but contrast the Godley motorbike experience with what Teddy Denham had promised me on the pillion of the Beast. This was a bit like being dragged behind a tractorâin an old tin bath! At least it meant I didnt have to make small talk.
When we got to Kyoto I hopped outâsaid thanksâ& dashed insideâyelling at Tom as I passed his workroomâMr Godleys here!â
When I got to my roomâI met Minnie coming out. Said shed been looking for meâbut I wasnt fooled. I remember when I was her ageâI was always looking for a chance to get my sticky little fingers on your gear & makeup! I said I wanted to get out of my wet cozzieâ& went inâthinking shed stay outside. But she followed me inâ& sat on the bed watching as I toweled downâlike she was a judge at a gymnastics floor exerciseâso I saidâOK how many points do I get?â& she saidâquick as a flashâ7 for performanceâ8 for interpretationâ
Cheeky little cowâbut you cant help but like her.
I took the chance to pump her for info about Miss Lee & Lady Dânot that it took much pumping!
Seems Miss Lee got Witch Cottage on a long lease from Lady Ds land agentâwhose arthritis shed fixed with a couple of judiciously placed pins. Then the great consortium came into beingâ& it dawned on Lady D that funny old Witch Cottageâwith its gingerbready appearance & magical historyâcould be a real little money spinner when the tourists started pouring in. So she wanted it back. Only Miss Lee had a tenancy agreementâsoâlike the Chinese train passenger in that awful non-PC joke the HBs so fond ofâshe told Lady Dâ
you fuckoffeeâme got 1st class ticket!
Battle was joinedâmight v rightâwith Tom Parker trying to mediate. Then suddenly Miss Lee caved inânobody knew whyâbig bribe was Mins best guessâ& agreed to move out in the autumnâ& relocate in new premises Tom had found for her.
Min had just finished her story & I was nearly dressedâwhen she heard the sound of an engineâ& looking out of the open window she screamedâoh lookâits Uncle Sid!â& shot past me through the door.
I went to the window & looked down.
There was this gorgeous deep red Maserati coupe bombing up the drive.
Minnie must have moved almost as fastâshe came rushing out of the front door as the car came to a haltâ& when the driver slid elegantly out of his seatâshe flung herself into his arms. He lifted her high into the air & whirled her round. I got the impression as he spun that his gaze took me inâstanding in my bra at the open windowâso I backed awayâ& finished dressing. Modestâor what? But even that brief glimpse of him left me with the impression thatâunlike hunky Ted the bartâSidney was not someone to impress by flashing the flesh.
& why should I want to impress him? The car? OK, maybe. What Id heard about him as a fast track finance wiz? No way! NoâI think it was the fact that he looked as immaculate as his car when he got out of itâ& he didnt show the least disinclination to being leapt upon & wrapped around by a 9 year old tomboyâwhoâI seem to recallâcan be remarkably unhygienic creatures!
There you goâanother sharp psychological assessment from your wise young sister.
AlsoâI admitâhe did look quite dishy in a Hugh Grant kind of way.
I delayed long enough to let him get the family greetings overâthen I went to make my entrance.
I was right. Seriously dishyâalso seriously smoothâwithout being at all oleaginusâ(dont know if thats how you spell it but its my favorite word this month!). Bit taller than Tomâsame lively expressive faceâthe Parker soft brown eyesâhes one of those guys you know will always do the right thingâI dont mean morallyâbut like if your pants fell off on the dance floorâhe would slip them into his pocket without missing a step! He was wearing a soft cream shirt under a linen suit that bore no signs of Minnies assaultâ& certainly hadnt come from M&S. On his feet he had soft leather sandalsâno socksâ& the sexiest toes imaginable! OKâmaybe toes dont figure large in your erotic fantasiesâbut take it from meâSids are the tops!
I was introduced with Toms usual hyperboleâwhich Sidney took in his
stride. Unlike Ted the bart he made no particular effort to impress meâwhich impressed me!
Tom of course was pressing him to stay at Kyotoâ& Mary backed up the inviteâwhile Minnie was ready to go on her knees to persuade him.
But Sidney was adamant.
âIm booked in at the hotelâhe saidâthe honeymoon suite!âNoâMaryâI am not marriedâalas. I thought I might as well see what all those healthy honeymooners will be getting for their moneyâ
The thoughtâneed any help with your research Sid?âflitted across my mind.
Then our eyes metâ& it was like he could read what I was thinkingâ& I felt myself blushing.
We sat on the terrace. Tomâinevitablyârhapsodized about the sea breezesâthe pure airâthe clarity that on a good day afforded a view all the way to Holland.
Sid saidâI never quite understandâdear Tomâwhy you find the prospect of even a distant view of Holland so desirableâ
As he spokeâhe gave me a complicitous smile. I tried to feel defensive of Tomâbut the bond of affection between them was so obvious that I realized this was only the kind of ribbing that goes on betweenâsayâme & Georgeâor you for that matter!
Anywayâhe drew me into the conversationâeffortlesslyâmade me one of the familyâ& though Im not a natural lover of smoothiesâin a bottle or in the CityâI soon found myself joining Minnie as a member of the Sid Parker fan club!
You must be thinking your little sis is seriously repressed. In Sandytown only 5 daysâ& already Ive let 3 menâTed the hunkâFran the wheelieâ& Sid the smoothieâget my juices running!
Never fear. This is fantasy football. Lousy Liam has put me off forever! Im a career girl pure & simple. Recreational romping only!
So there we wereâsitting & chattingâwhen I heard this odd noiseâlike a deer barkingâ& there in the doorway stood Godly Gordonâthe hairy healerâcoughing to attract attention!
In the excitement of seeing SidneyâTom had forgotten all about himâ& left him in his office! Tom of course was abject with apologyâdragged him onto the terraceâmade him sit downâ& introduced him to Sidney in terms that made him sound a cross between Gandalf & Jesus. Smooth Sid was perfectly charmingâof courseâbut I sensed the feelingâthis is one bit of my dear bros plans for Sandytowns future that I need to keep out of any prospectus I prepare for my City chums!
Mr Godley was soon on his feet againâsaying he needed to be on his wayâ& refusing all urgings to stay for lunch. Tomâdead keen to get him involved in the Festival of Healingâreminded him about the meeting at the Avalon.
âI think youll be really impressed by how open minded Dr Feldenhammer isâhe saidâthis is a great opportunity for those of us who believe in the road less traveledâ
I saw Sidneys eyes glaze over in that expression us Heywoods know so wellâthe one we all wear when dad says something more than usually extreme in companyâ& family loyalty makes us keep our faces straight.
Mr G just looked uncertain & muttered something indeterminateâleaving Tom looking a bit downcastâbut far too polite to press. I dont like seeing Tom disappointedâso when Sid said he couldnt stay for lunch either & we all went outside togetherâI went up to Mr G as he got on his bikeâ& saidâI dont think I thanked you properly for the liftâit was greatâI really didnt feel up to climbing the hill!â
He looked embarrassedâof courseâbut I think he was pleasedâso I pressed onâsayingâwhy dont you come to the meeting at the clinic?âno harm in looking the place overâis there? Usually costs a fortune to get in a place like thatâbe fun to see what they make of someone who wants to heal their patients without charging a penny!
He looked straight at meâa bit puzzledâlike
fun
was a foreign word. Then he saidâyoull be there?â
Clearly he was worried in case I was going to be sitting in a cornerâmaking skeptical noisesâ& notes for my thesis.
âperhaps for the refreshments afterwardâbut definitely not at the meetingâI saidâpatting his gauntleted hand reassuringly.
Wow! Youd have thought Id zapped him with a cattle prodder!
He shot up out of his saddleâjerked his hand away from me so sharply he almost left his gauntletâthen saidâIll seeâ
& off he wentâin a puff of blue smokeâdefinitely more Gandalf than Jesus!
Nobody else noticedâthey were too busy saying cheerio to Sidney. I went to join themâ& help prise Minnie loose from his car door.
His last words to me were more conventionalâbut hopeful too.
âI hope I see you again before you goâMiss Heywoodâ
I saidâme tooâ& its Charleyâ
â& why not?âhe said laughingâBye!â
Minnie stood by my sideâwatching the Maz boom off down the drive.
âIsnt he great?âshe saidâeyes ashineâif he wasnt my uncleâId marry him!â
Then she took my handâ& saidâhe liked you Charley. You could marry him & settle down in LondonâI could come & stay with youâall summerâ& at Christmas!â
I saidâis that all?âwhat dull Easters wed haveâ
She dug her nails into my palmâbut not too hardâ& saidâbut you do like himâdont you?â
âI like his carâI said.
This time her nails hurtâ& I grabbed hold of herâ& we had a wrestleâending up rolling on the lawnâwith Tom beaming down at us in delightâ& Mary smiling too.
But Marys gaze kept straying to the end of the driveâ& the road to the hotelâ& with this wonderful power of mind reading I seem to be developing (perhaps I caught it from Mr Godley as I sat in the sidecar!)âI guessed she was wondering whether it was some crisis of high finance that had brought Sidney to Sandytown.
Chatting to her laterâI brought up the subject of Sidneyâcasually! Far too loyal to criticizeâ& she really likes himâbut it soon came outâas Id
guessedâthat shes bothered that Tom relies on his brother so muchâfinancially speakingâ& she feels theres a lot more under that smooth surface than she understands.
Bit like Sandytown itselfâI think. Dont know whyâbut Im getting the impression theres a lot more going on beneath its smooth surface than meets the eye!
OKâyoure going to remind me of the time I decided the vicar had killed his wifeâ& buried her in Les Turpins coffinâcos Les was only seven stone when he died & the bearers staggered as they came into the church. Then the vics wife came back from visiting her sick sister in Beverleyâ& it turned out one of the bearers had taken badly at the last minuteâ& they had to get Iggy Earnshaw out of the bar to make up the numbersâ& hed drunk seven pints already!