Authors: Cary West
“Kathryn, you are a woman in love with a man who cares about nothing but himself.”
“That’s not true.” She shook her head. “I know he’s overbearing, but Jack loves me.”
“No, a man like Jack McBride doesn’t love. He possesses.” Marnie’s eyes went to a dark informing blue. “He has one thing on his mind, and he doesn’t care if he humiliates you in the process.”
“You’re wrong,” said Kate, and she tried to control the shakiness in her voice. “He didn’t humiliate me. I was consenting.”
“So, it was your idea to sneak off and have animalistic sex in my study?” Marnie was point-blank and too tired to mince words.
“Not exactly,” Her shoulders sagged and then she sat up tall. “And it wasn’t animalistic sex!”
Though she could understand why her mother got that impression walking in on them the way she did.
“Well let me ask you this, Kathryn? Were you the one, who was brazen enough to tell a stranger that the only reason you married him was because he could make your toes curl?”
“No, Jack did that,” she mumbled as she felt herself slipping back to the scolded child.
“I can no longer turn a blind eye to his blatant disrespect for you any longer. No loving husband in his right mind would try to portray his wife in a less than favorable light.”
“I don’t think that was his intent,” she said in defense of Jack.
“That was exactly his intent,” snapped Marnie. “Jack McBride loves to find ways of humiliating you and you thank him for it every time.”
“That’s not true,” she snapped back.
“He’s using you and taking great pleasure in isolating you from those that love you,” Marnie continued. “A man that loved you wouldn’t compromise you in the privacy of my study while there was a party going on beyond the door. He’s not a good man, Kathryn, and the sooner you see it the better off you’ll be.”
“All right, so you are angry with Jack. I get it,” she said. “I know he’s rough around the edges but-”
“There’s no but, my dear daughter,” Marnie interrupted her. “A man like Jack will grow bored quickly once all the drama dies down. He is a man driven by sex, and he likes his performance even at your expense. You mark my words, there will come a day when you will no longer do it for him. He will need someone new to give him that rush, that wild ride. Kathryn, you can lie to yourself all you want, but in the end you are going to wind up with a broken heart. I hate to see you go through it again.”
“I think you’re wrong,” said Kate, fighting back the tears.
“I wish I were, but I’m not, and deep inside you know I am right,” Marnie sighed and took her daughter’s hand. “He can’t stay here tonight. I want him out of my house.”
“Fine. If that’s what you want, Mother,” said Kate, and the tears began to stream down her face. “Let me tell Jack and we’ll pack up and leave.”
“No Kathryn, I want you and Jesse to stay,” she stated. “Let him take that so-called nanny of his back to Nevada with him.”
“You don’t get it, said Kate angrily. “I’m not leaving Jack. If he is not welcome to stay in your home then neither am I.”
“You are forcing my hand to do something I don’t want to do,” said Marnie.
“The choice is yours, Mother.” Kate rose from the settee and angrily wiped away her tears.
“Very well,” Marnie sighed. “Because I love you, he can stay.”
“It is just for the night.” Kate made her way to the door. “We’re leaving tomorrow morning.”
“What about the reading of the will on Monday?” Her mother asked.
“I kind of lost my taste for family functions,” said Kate, and she opened the bedroom door.
“Kathryn, I really do love you,” said Marnie as tears formed in her own eyes. “I only have your best interests at heart.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.”
Kate didn’t wait for her mother to respond as she stepped in to the hall and slammed the door behind her.
HIGH ANXIETY
Kate walked down the staircase and entered the foyer. Through tear-stained eyes, she looked into the next room and saw the array of guests still celebrating the anticipation of the New Year. She couldn’t go in there looking like she’d been crying. Instead, she walked in silence to her mother’s tea room, disappearing behind its door and taking a seat by the bay window overlooking the gardens. She heaved a sigh, trying to rid the burden weighing heavily on her heart.
Kate watched through the window as the garden fountain illuminated with blue and yellow lights cascaded into a pool of calming waters. It seemed to render a soothing feel and she got up to go outside. She sat along the fountain’s edge, running her fingers through the cool mist, feeling it upon her skin.
How could she tell Jack about the conversation and what’s worse, how could she rid herself of the unsettled fear that maybe her mother was right? Once more, the doubt crept in like poison. Was it all about possession and lust for Jack, or was it really that he truly loved her? This morning she would have said love, but now she was not so sure.
She felt like she was back at the beginning again. Why did he always have a need to consume her body and soul? Kate had no answers only a pain in her stomach that was growing worse by the minute and her head was reeling with a multitude of confusing thoughts.
What would happen if she said no to Jack McBride and his sexual cravings for her? Would he disappear like a ghost in the night, never to be seen again, or would he always stay by her side and love her? The more she thought, the tighter the web constricted her brain, blocking out any reason her common sense could muster. Panic rose and spilled out like a volcanic eruption engulfing her until her chest began to physically hurt.
She couldn’t breathe. She gasped, fighting for air, but nothing seemed to penetrate her lungs. Her hands grabbed a hold of the fountain’s edge and she braced herself, gasping and choking as if her airway had shut tight.
“Katie, what’s wrong?” She vaguely heard a familiar voice in the fog of spinning spasms.
“Can’t…breathe-” She wheezed, fighting for her world not to collapse.
“Look at me, Katie,” said Paul, taking a seat beside her and grabbing her arms with his hands. “You’re having one of your panic attacks!” He’d seen them before, being married to her for so long, and knew exactly what he had to do. “Now just listen to my voice and I’ll walk you through it,” he said in a soothing tone, watching her chest heave violently up and down fighting for air. “Just take slow …deep…breaths!”
“I…can’t,” She rasped, as her nails dug in to the top of his trousers.
“Sure you can.” His dark eyes set on hers and he made her watch him. “Slow…deep…breaths.” He repeated.
She tried to match her breath with his words while she stayed transfixed on calm grey eyes.
“That’s it, s…l…o…w.” He spoke in a melodic tone with her listening to his voice. “Breathe in….now breathe out…that a girl!”
Kate began to feel her lungs fill with air. She stayed focused on Paul, watching his grey eyes remain steady while she listened to his calming voice.
“Come on, breathe in…one…two…three…, now breathe out …one… two… three…”
Kate started breathing on her own, and he watched her closely to make sure she continued without having another episode. The panic lifted but her chest still hurt in the aftermath of her anxiety attack. She felt spent and more tired than she felt in years. Kate could barely keep her head up. Noticing the heaviness in her sway, Paul folded her into his arms and laid her head on his shoulder to rest.
“Shh,” he said in a hushed tone as he stroked her hair. “Just rest, Katie girl.”
She began to weep, soaking the material of his black tux.
“There…there,” He held her closer, giving her shelter in his arms. “Everything will be all right.”
“Nothing is ever going to be right,” Kate sobbed. “With my mother…with Jack-” And she sobbed harder.
“Oh, it can’t be that bad,” he said, giving her a little smile in an effort to make her feel not so sad.
“You don’t know.” Kate sat up and looked at him with such sad eyes that his own heart hurt. “After Jack’s latest escapade, Mother wants him out of the house.”
“Now what could he have done that was so bad to warrant such ill will?” asked Paul, brushing away her tears with his fingertips.
“The rumor for one.” Kate heaved a ragged breath.
“Well he may have tarnished your reputation a little, but it doesn’t give Marnie reason to throw him out,” he said, knowing there had to be more to it than just that.
“It’s a little embarrassing talking about it with your ex-husband,” said Kate, and a little laugh escaped her lips in spite of her tears.
“I place no judgments.” He smiled once more to ease her fears.
“You promise not to laugh?” She asked, and her tears began to dry up.
“I give you my word,” he said, holding up his hand like an oath.
“Mother walked in on us having a little fun in her study.”
“Oh,” said Paul, knowing full well Marnie’s reaction.
“She thinks because Jack was not discreet that he was being disrespectful to me.”
“What do you mean not discreet?” Paul had all kind of thoughts running through his head and the idea of Kate being subjected to it made his smile fade.
“Well…” said Kate, trying to find the right words to explain her relationship with her new husband to her old one. “Jack McBride is a man who wants what he wants. And when he wants what he wants, there is nothing anyone can do to talk him out of it. So in the end Jack wanted it in the study on my mother’s desk. Get the picture?”
“And what if you said no?” A concerned look fell across his face. “Would he still take?”
“I’ve never said no.” Kate bit her lip.
“Out of fear?” His brow arched.
“No, oh God no!” said Kate, finally understanding why his expression changed. “Jack would never do anything like that! “
“You had me worried for a minute, Katie.” Paul breathed a sigh of relief. “Look, I’m the last man to judge him. I’ve made my share of mistakes and God knows I wish I could take them back as far as you are concerned but I’m not going to lie to you and tell you Marnie’s concern is for nothing. There’s something about that guy, Katie that doesn’t sit right by me. He’s too physical with you.”
“Now you sound like Mother,” she frowned.
“I want you to be happy.” Paul took her chin in his hand and lifted her to look at him. “I may have blown my chances with you but it still doesn’t stop me from being protective over you.”
“I think that’s the nicest thing you ever said to me.” She smiled and brushed aside a strand of black hair from his eyes.
“I mean it,” said Paul. He took her hands in his and rendered a tender kiss to them. “I wish you nothing but the best, Katie.”
Kate looked at Paul and continued to smile. She had wanted closure when their marriage ended and now to find it in the midst of all this turmoil was an unexpected gift. There was no more anger between them, only kinship. To Kate’s surprise, Paul had grown in the time they had been apart. He seemed more mature—more comfortable in his skin. Perhaps time and adversity did add to the wisdom of men. For the man sitting across from her, comforting her and supporting her, was a different man than the one she’d been married to. She liked this Paul, and at the very least, hoped they could be friends.
Jack waited at the bar for Kate. When she didn’t show, he went looking for her. Something was definitely wrong. He could feel it in his bones. His suspicions were confirmed when he spotted Marnie alone conversing with several of her guests across the room. Jack went upstairs and checked their bedroom, but found no sign of Kate. He stopped by Maria’s to check on their son in hopes that she had done the same.
“No, Jack,” said Maria. “I haven’t seen Señora Kate all evening.”
Jack returned downstairs and scoured the crowd for his wife. He searched every vacant room of that blasted mansion, but there was no sign of her. He was growing more concerned by the minute, and by the time he reached the tea room he was beside himself. He entered the room but found it empty. He was about to leave when out of the corner of his eye he saw a couple sitting along the fountain out in the garden. His eyes narrowed into possessive green and his fists rested on the window’s glass, glimpsing the intimate exchange.
His blood began to boil and his shoulders went rigid watching Kate’s ex-husband holding her hands then lifting them to his lips to bestow a kiss.
“Son of a bitch!” exclaimed Jack as the vein in his neck pulsed with fury.
He was a man blinded by rage. His strides were swift, exiting the tea room and entering the garden. As he swung open the glass door, the frame slammed against the stucco exterior, shattering the glass. He seemed not to notice as his intent was only on one man—the one caressing his wife with his smooth words and slick hands. Jack bared down on his teeth, clenching them tight along with his jaw. His hands folded into fists, and he could feel his fingers cutting into his palms.
“Get away from my wife.” Jack bellowed his roar at the shifty dark-haired man.
“Jack, no!” Kate pulled away from Paul.
He ignored her and reeled back his hand like he was ready for the pitch and came barreling into Paul’s jaw, knocking him into the fountain.
“Get up!” yelled Jack, reaching into the water and grabbing Paul by the shirt.
“Are you insane?” yelled Kate, grabbing a hold of Jack’s jacket and trying to pry him off of Paul.
“Stay out of this, Kate,” Jack growled and heaved a bloodied Paul from the fountain.
“Stop!” said Paul, shielding his face from another blow and swallowing a pool of his own blood in the process. “It’s not what you think. I was only trying to help.”
“Help yourself to my
wife,
you SON-OF-A-BITCH!!,” shouted Jack. “Stand up! So I can hit you again.”
“Jack, Paul wasn’t doing anything,” said Kate angrily and she tried to pull her husband away. “You have to listen to me.”
“You’ve been trying to weasel your way back in ever since sending that damn letter.” Jack was out of control. “Kate’s mine! You got that?”
“Yes, I got it,” said Paul, body trembling in fear of this cowboy hitting him again.