The Princess (32 page)

“Did she mention that Peter is having lunch with Grandma today?”

“No. I’m not sure she knows. Why isn’t he in school?”

“A teacher’s workday. His sisters gave him permission to come for the entire day. Your father is going to take him out to the skeet club. As a matter of fact, they just left.”

“Oh, he’ll love that.”

The queen and queen regent talked almost to the moment Rafe walked in the door, and Erica found she’d greatly calmed. She was able to explain the impression she’d gotten from Shelby without bursting into tears.

“Help me to understand this, Rafe. How can Nikolai and Shelby enter into this union when they’re not in love?”

“Rica.” Rafe’s voice was gentle but also matter-of-fact. “Shelby is a very desirable woman, and I know that Nikolai is being very kind and gentle with her. His desire is not hard to understand at all. On her part, she obviously cares and is responding to his gentleness. There’s also one other aspect we have to consider.”

“What’s that?”

“That they’re already in love and don’t know it.”

Erica blinked. “How could they not?”

Rafe looked a bit confused but still said, “I think our levelheaded son is having a hard time distinguishing the difference between feelings and facts. He knows that love is a choice, but all he ever says about Shelby is that he doesn’t know how he feels about her.”

“What have you said to him?”

“Enough to make him think, but he must choose to deal with all of his feelings where they must be dealt with—within the realm of facts.”

Erica stared into her husband’s wise face; she needed to do the same work with her own feelings.

“I’m glad I talked to you. I’m sorry I called in such a panic.”

“It’s all right. I do need to go back to the office, but I’m glad you found me available.” In the middle of his words, Rafe had a thought that showed on his face.

“What is it?”

“I was just thinking that we could be grandparents this year.”

That Erica hadn’t considered this was very clear. She drew her lower lip between her teeth, a sure sign that she was worried.

“Will you say anything to Nicky?” the queen finally asked.

“No. He’s a big boy now, and for all we know, that’s the very reason they’ve consummated the relationship.”

Erica nodded. Again she was surprised by his logic.

“No worrying now,” her husband commanded before he kissed her.

“All right.”

“God is sovereign” were the king’s last words before he left his wife alone.

Nikolai woke slowly the next weekend, something unusual for him; he had a tendency to awaken quickly. As he stretched and peeked one eye open to look at the clock, he thought he must be very tired. His eyes had already closed again when he realized something was amiss. He peeked the other eye open to confirm it. His wife was wide awake and staring at him.

“I can’t sleep if you’re going to watch me, Red,” he said with a sleepy voice, his eyes closing again.

Shelby smiled at little.

Nikolai could tell she was still staring right at him.

“I mean it, Red.” His voice was a growl. “You have to look away.”

Shelby laughed softly but continued to study his face.

“Did you enjoy last night?” she asked suddenly.

Nikolai’s eyes suddenly opened very fast. “You’re doubting?” he asked, finding himself wide awake.

Shelby shrugged, wishing she’d stayed quiet. “Well, you didn’t say.”

Nikolai felt a bit impatient, although he covered it. “What is it I do, Shelby, that makes you feel so inadequate as a wife?”

Shelby could not keep the shock from her face, and Nikolai realized too late what he had just said.

“I’d better get up,” Shelby responded, having already worked to school her features. “I’m golfing this morning with Vickey.”

Shelby turned to leave the bed, but Nikolai caught her from behind. “Don’t go just yet,” he said quietly as he moved close and snuggled against her back. “It’s early.”

Shelby let herself be hugged and tried not to think about why she’d asked her husband that question or why she ached inside right now. She could not put her finger on one single point, but her whole being was telling her to go somewhere and have a good, long cry. Before she could stop them, a few tears fell.

“Shelby?” Nikolai asked. He’d felt a drop of moisture on his arm and begun to sit up.

“I have to get up,” she gasped as she moved from his arms.

Not knowing if it was a mistake or not, Nikolai did not try to stop her. She nearly ran from the room, and the prince rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling.

I could speculate about a lot of things right now and let myself off the hook, but I would be willing to bet my last dollar that I have somehow caused those tears. Help me, Lord. Help me to find a way to love my wife as she deserves to be loved.

For the first time, Yvette’s face did not swim into view the moment he thought about love. If it had, Nikolai would have pushed it away. Shelby was the woman who needed him right now.

“Well, Nick!” Daria said in surprise when she opened the front door and found him standing there. “Come in.”

“Thank you. Is my timing awful?”

“Not at all. Josiah went back to the shop, and I just did the lunch dishes so I could sit down with a cup of tea. Will you join me?”

“I will, thank you.”

Daria sent Nikolai into the living room while she went for the tea tray. He intended to sit down but found himself interested in the pictures on the walls. A young Josiah and Daria Parker looked out from one frame—she in a long white gown, he in a black suit. Shelby and Brice’s graduation pictures were there, as were some baby photos. He wouldn’t have believed his wife could ever be round, but there was no mistaking the redheaded butterball that smiled into the camera as a toddler. Nikolai found himself smiling at her in return.

“Here we are,” Daria said as she entered the room. “I didn’t know if you liked milk or lemon, so I brought both.”

“Let me get that for you.” Nikolai met her in the middle of the room and, taking the tray, set it on the coffee table.

Daria began a gentle dialogue about how fun the holidays had been, and Nikolai was glad to have something to talk about. It didn’t last long, however. She waited only until Nikolai had taken a few sips of tea to say what was on her mind.

“I think you’ve come today looking for something, Prince Nikolai. Are you going to tell me what it is?”

Nikolai looked into kind eyes, so like his wife’s, and put his teacup down.

“It’s been on my mind how you and Josiah trusted me to take care of your daughter. I don’t know how much Shelby has talked to you, but I haven’t always done a good job. I’m trying to rectify that.”

Daria smiled at him. “I appreciate that very much. In truth, Nick, we have seen how lonely she is.”

The words did strange things to his heart. In a quiet voice he asked, “Did you by any chance love someone else before you met Shelby’s father?”

“No, I didn’t, Nick, but believe it or not, my mother experienced what you’re going through.” Daria smiled at Nikolai’s raised brow and continued. “My mother married my stepfather because she found herself widowed and alone, with two very little girls to take care of and no way to support them. He had adored her. It took more than two years for her to love him. They shared a bed and a life, but not love—at least not at first. When my mother did come to love my stepfather, it was with her entire being, but the pain of my father’s death and his memory plagued her for a very long time.”

Nikolai could not believe what he was hearing. The first question in his mind was whether Shelby knew this, but he realized that was foolish. Of course she knew.

“I’ve surprised you, haven’t I?”

“Yes, but I thank you for telling me.”

“If I can be so bold, Nick, I’d like to give you a little advice—something I think my mother would have said to you.”

The prince nodded.

“Don’t try to get
over
Yvette. Just make room in your heart for Shelby.”

Without permission Nikolai stood. He walked to the window and stood looking out but didn’t really see anything. He was having a hard time breathing but didn’t notice. His mind saw Shelby’s sweet face as she asked him not to say those three little words until he meant them.

Nikolai suddenly turned back to his mother-in-law. Just looking at her face reminded him that he must wait until he was certain. And even if he was certain, the timing for Shelby’s sake must be right.

“I think I’ve lost you,” Daria said.

“I’m sorry.” Nikolai was instantly contrite and made a move to return to his seat. His hostess surprised him by standing up.

“I’m glad you came, Nick, and if you really want to stay, you’re welcome, but I think you have some things to think about and probably want to be alone to do it.”

Before he could consider otherwise, Nikolai went to Daria and gave her a hug. She hugged him in return. Thanking her sincerely, he made his way to the door. His hand was on the knob when he spotted a box addressed to Princess Shelby Markham. Nikolai turned back.

“Would you like me to take this to Shelby?”

Daria laughed. “Oh, you don’t have to. It’s just silly.”

Nikolai smiled, picked it up, and weighed it in his hands.

“Clothes?”

“No,” Daria laughed again. “Fairy Cakes.”

“
Fairy Cakes?”

“Shelby is crazy about them.” Daria shook her head. “A palace full of the finest desserts in the land, and she likes little packaged cakes.”

Nikolai watched her for a moment. “You miss her, don’t you?”

Tears filled Daria’s eyes so fast that they were both amazed.

“I’ll get these to her” was all Nikolai said, but his heart was assuring Daria that he would do right by her daughter if it was the last thing he ever did.

The events of recent weeks had united to make Shelby tired. Various encounters with her husband, some that hurt her and caused her painful confusion, had occurred. Shelby had not confronted him over any of them, making it all the more unsettling to have him turn around and treat her with such tenderness. Shelby was amazed. It was also puzzling to learn that he’d visited her mother. She was still trying to understand that one.

You could ask him, Shelby. Your mother may have read it all wrong. You’ve got to learn to talk to your husband. All you do is guess. You have no idea if you’re correct or not. If you’ll just talk to him, you might learn to love him as you should. You might even find a way to ask him about Yvette and tell him . . .
Shelby shut down at that point. She didn’t want to think about the possibilities, although her heart was telling her that was just what she needed to do.

Shelby was still in the midst of these mental aerobics when she heard a noise. The bathroom door opened, and Shelby, who was soaking in a tub full of suds, sank a little further into the water.

“Shelby?”

“Yes,” she said as she tugged the curtain over.

“Hi,” Nikolai said as he came in and shut the door. “It smells good in here.”

“It’s the bubbles,” Shelby said, her red face peeking around the curtain. She watched Nikolai come all the way in and sit on the bench in front of her makeup table. He was in a perfect position to see her, but Shelby had pulled the curtain a little further forward and let the water cover her.

“How are you?” he asked, his eyes on her face.

“Fine.”

Nikolai studied her. “Are you really?”

“I think so. Why do you ask?”

“I’ve just never known you to take a bath in the middle of the day.”

“Oh, that. Well, I’m just a little achy.”

“Could this be tied to your cycle?” he asked, knowing she would be embarrassed but trying to take down more walls.

“It could,” Shelby said, her eyes averted.

“Shelby,” Nikolai said, waiting for her to look at him. “What can we do to help you not be so shy around me?”

Shelby made herself look at him. “Do you think it’s really that bad?”

Nikolai nodded. “You’re the most modest individual I’ve ever known. You like the lights out and your bathrobe close at hand when the lights come on. You even prefer me to be covered, but you can barely take your eyes from me when I’m not fully dressed.” He paused. “Right now, you’re nearly drowning yourself to stay under those bubbles.”