The Pursuit of Jesse (15 page)

“Then I’d have a big outside barbecue to celebrate with friends. That’s it.”

“Interesting.” Jesse took a deep breath and smiled.

“What’s so funny?” she asked, coming back around her desk.

“Nothing.”

“What? Tell me.”

“All right,” he said quietly, studying her, all humor disappearing from his face. “This shop smells like you. And you always smell like flowers. Your hair. Your skin. I just figured out why.”

She swallowed. “No one’s ever told me… I didn’t realize… I…”

“That you smell as sweet as those lilies over there?” He nodded toward the stargazers in the cooler. Then he leaned toward her, closed his eyes and inhaled a long slow breath. “Nope. You smell better.”

Suddenly, almost paralyzed, she couldn’t take her eyes off his face. When he opened his eyes, the expression on his face was as intense as if he were drilling a hole through her. “Sarah,” he whispered, moving toward her.

She couldn’t—didn’t want to—step back. Instead, she glanced up at him, felt her mouth part and her head tilt back.

“Here we are again,” he whispered, his gaze heavy-lidded.

Only this time, as he tucked her close and kissed her, she could tell he wasn’t angry, and he wasn’t trying to prove a point. And this time she wanted more. She wanted skin. Heat. Her hands on him. His on her. She wanted to see his tattoo. Reaching under his shirt, she splayed her hands over the springy hair on his chest and Jesse stilled even as his nipples turned pebble-hard. “I haven’t been kissed like that in so long,” she whispered, leaning into him.

“How long?”

“Too long.”

“Sarah?”

“I want to see your tattoo,” she whispered. Drawing his shirt up, she traced her hands along the dark lines. “It’s beautiful. Did you get it in prison?”

“Yes, and I don’t want to talk about it.” He drew her hands down, and his shirt fell back into place. “How long has it been since you’ve been kissed like that?”

“Almost ten years.”

He put his hands on her shoulders and set her back, as if a glass of ice-cold water had been tossed in his face. “So it’s been a decade since you’ve…” She nodded.

Shaking his head, he looked away.

“It’s not that I haven’t wanted to, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she said, feeling defensive.

“That’s not what I was thinking.”

“I’m as hot-blooded as any woman.”

“Trust me, I know. I can feel it.”

“You can?”

“Uh-huh.” He ran his hands through his hair. “But this is all because you see me as a bad boy, isn’t it? A ladies’ man. Exciting. Dangerous. Nothing but trouble.”

She didn’t say anything, didn’t know what to say. Maybe that was partly true.

“What if I told you I’m none of those things?” he said, glaring back at her. “What if I told you I’ve had sex with only four women? My first serious girlfriend when I was seventeen. A one-night stand at a bar in Nashville. And, no, I wasn’t too drunk to use a condom. A short relationship with a woman in L.A. when I lived there for a few months before I came back north. Just before…Milwaukee.”

“And Sherri. That’s it?”

“That’s it.” Then he chuckled. “Based on what you’ve told me about your past, I’m thinking you have me beat.”

She looked away. “And you’d be right.” The time she’d spent in Miami, before meeting Bobby, had been one man after another. She frowned.

“Ah, Sarah. It’s a joke.”

“Not to me.”

“All you did was sow a few wild oats. To be honest, it’s kind of sexy. Me, on the other hand…”

“Jesse.”

He grabbed the brochure out of her hand. “Maybe this truce wasn’t such a good idea, after all.” Then he
climbed the steps two at a time. By the time she made it back up to her apartment, he was gone and she was left thinking that he might be right.

“D
AVID
,” G
ARRETT SAID
, patiently. “Put the hammer down, please.”

Ignoring his father, David sat in his car seat in back, pounding a plastic hammer against the window.

“Well, there’s another benefit to living on Mirabelle,” Jesse muttered. “No driving with kids in the car.”

“David. It’s too loud, buckaroo. Put that hammer down.”

Jesse opened up the diaper bag on the car seat between him and Garrett and found a juice box. “Here, Davie.” He reached back, took the pacifier from the little boy’s mouth and handed him the juice.

The hammering immediately stopped as David hungrily sucked on the straw.

“You’re getting pretty good at that.” Garrett grinned. “I’d even go so far as to say you’re a natural.”

“Yeah, right.”

Erica was busy giving the men’s bathroom at Duffy’s a new paint job after a group of snowmobilers got overly rambunctious the prior weekend and accidentally bashed in a chunk of drywall. So Garrett had brought David along on their road trip into civilization.

With a population of less than one hundred thousand, the city of Duluth didn’t come close to qualifying as big as far as Jesse was concerned. Having grown up in Chicago, there was nothing in the entire states of Minnesota and Wisconsin that could top the Windy City. Still, he felt strange being off Mirabelle the day after he’d had dinner at Sarah and Brian’s apartment. He’d gotten surprisingly used to, comfortable with, even,
the island’s slow, quiet pace, peaceful environs and, more often than not, friendly faces. Sitting in Garrett’s truck cruising down a six-lane freeway felt like being on another planet.

“You ever miss Chicago?” Jesse asked his brother as they zipped by cars, passed billboards and crossed over the bridge spanning the Duluth harbor.

“No.” Garrett firmly shook his head. “Well, every once in a while I miss a couple old friends, but they all come to Mirabelle over the summer, so I get a chance to catch up. What about you?”

“Naw. It’d be nice to see Christian and Drew more often, but I never miss the city.”

“Don’t you think you’re ever going to settle down in one place?”

“What the hell for?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A job. Sense of community. God forbid, a wife and kids.”

Jesse’s palms started sweating at the thought of his own family and he inhaled deeply. “Not my thing.”

“I see you with Zach and David.” Garrett exited the freeway. “I think it might be more your thing than you think, Jesse. And I think there’s a certain woman on Mirabelle who’s thinking so, too.”

Jesse kept his mouth shut.

“Erica sees a lot more than I do. She said Sarah—”

“I seem to recall you warning me to steer clear of Mirabelle’s princesses.”

“That was then. This is now.” Garrett pulled his truck into the parking lot of the home-supply store. “You’ve grown up a lot in the last four years. I think you’re ready—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” What he was ready
for was something hot and heavy with Sarah, but that didn’t mean it was ever, ever going to happen.

“Have it your way.”

Jesse climbed out of the truck and waited while Garrett got David out from the back. His brother slammed the other door, and they headed toward the entrance.

“We might as well split up,” Garrett said, putting David in a cart. “We’ll get out of here quicker.” The moment Garrett started walking away, though, David fussed.

“Unc Jess,” he cried, reaching his arms out toward Jesse.

Garrett laughed.

“I can’t help it if the kid’s sick of you.” Jesse nudged Garrett out of the way and pushed the cart into the store. “I’ll catch up with you when I’m finished.” Jesse walked up and down the aisles, dropping drywall tape, a couple switch plates, some lightbulbs and a towel rack for the master bath into the cart as he went.

David started trying to get out of his seat in the cart.

“Hey, dude, you gotta stay in the cart.” Poor kid. He’d been stuck in the car the entire way here. Now he was stuck in the cart. No wonder he was getting crabby. “When’s the last time you ate?”

“Cackers.” He pointed to the front of the store.

“Okay. Let’s go see what they got.” He found some snacks at the front registers.

David reached for some sugar candies.

“Oh, no. Your mother would kill me if I gave you those.” Jesse grabbed a box of animal crackers, opened them up and handed them to David.

On his way back through the aisles, he passed a section dedicated to fireplaces and mantels and glanced at
the various shapes and sizes of stone and brick. They were gorgeous, but too expensive, so he wandered away, crossing into an aisle with closet organizers. Sarah didn’t know it yet, but a shelving unit in her laundry room would come in handy, so he threw one of those in the cart, planning to pay for it himself.

One thing he couldn’t afford to pay for himself, though, was prefabricated gingerbread to replace the old, damaged trim on Sarah’s front porch. She’d love it, though. He knew she would. He stood in front of the store display and mentally calculated what it would cost. Too much. And it wasn’t in Sarah’s budget.

For the hell of it, he went to the lumber section and asked a bunch of questions. David had finished his crackers, and when he fussed again, Jesse picked him up.

As he finished questioning the guy in the lumber department, David laid his head on Jesse’s shoulder. Before he knew it, the little guy’s fingers were working at the neckline of Jesse’s T-shirt as if he was fingering the edges of a blanket. He was so trusting and so comfortable in Jesse’s arms, and it was nice having some one-on-one time with his nephew.

In the end, Jesse threw a few more supplies onto his cart. It wouldn’t cost that much to give the gingerbread a shot. Garrett had all the detail tools and the worst thing that could happen is Jesse would be out some time.

He’d managed to find everything on his lists, except for the fixture for Sarah’s kitchen, and was walking through the lighting area for the second time when Garrett found him. “I’m ready to hit it anytime you are,” Garrett said, glancing into David’s face. “He looks pretty damned content.”

“He’s getting tired.”

“I see that.” Garrett held out his hands. “You want me to take him?”

“No, he’s okay.” Jesse pulled back. He couldn’t remember ever having held a kid in his arms like this, and he suddenly felt quite reluctant to give David up.

“Are you finished yet?” Garrett asked.

“I still need a light fixture, but I don’t think any of the styles they’ve got here will work.” Jesse didn’t even need to look at the brochure Sarah had found for him to know that. “Sarah won’t like any of these.”

“Pick something close. What difference does it make?”

It was for Sarah and her house. That was the difference. “I wrote down directions to a specialty store just in case.” He handed the address to Garrett. “Know where this is?”

Garrett glanced at the addresses and frowned. “Yeah, I can find it, but this is going to add almost an hour onto our trip.”

“Let’s go.”

It took close to twenty minutes to drive to the store and once again David wanted Jesse to hold him. Slowly but surely, Jesse felt the boy’s body get heavier and heavier. Soon, he was sound asleep. It felt peaceful, holding the little guy while he slept so soundly. A short time later, Jesse found what he was looking for.

“That’s it.” With his free hand, he pointed to a light fixture in antique bronze. It hung from an adjustable-length chain and featured hand-painted glass shades.

“A little on the spendy side, don’t you think?”

More than her budget, that’s for sure. “I’ll pay the difference myself.”

“See?” Garrett raised his eyebrows. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

“Just because I care about her, Garrett, doesn’t mean anything’s ever going to happen between us.”

Jesse paid for the fixture, and then they walked out of the lighting store and headed toward the car.

Garrett glanced into his son’s face. “How long’s he been asleep?”

“Heck, I don’t know. Half an hour.” As they passed a small, locally owned hardware shop, Jesse glanced through the window and stopped at the sight of the piece of equipment shoved in the corner of the display with a For Sale, As Is sign propped against it.

Garrett pulled up short. “What is it?” He followed Jesse’s gaze.

“That what I think it is?”

“Sure as hell looks like it.”

The machine was clearly going to need some major TLC, but it’d be worth it. “Do you think you can talk the community-center manager into making room for it?”

“Might take a six-pack, but Bud will eventually cave.”

Still holding sleeping David, Jesse went into the store and came out a few minutes later with a paid receipt. “Let’s get it in the back of your truck.”

“First, you’re going to have to extricate yourself from your new appendage.” Garrett nodded at David.

“Will he stay asleep if I put him in the car seat?”

“Doubtful. He wakes up every time I try moving him.”

Jesse opened the back door of the pickup and very gently hoisted David into the seat. When he stirred, Jesse whispered into his ear, “Shhh.” Then he gave the
boy his pacifier, hooked up the straps and quietly closed the door. “Start up the engine, would you? That’ll keep him asleep.”

Garrett fired up the truck and hopped out.

David never opened his eyes.

“Kids are not your thing,” Garrett said, glancing into the back of his truck. “Right.”

“I’
M BORED
,” Zach said as he finished washing the kitchen table.

“Bored, huh?” Jesse said from his position at the kitchen sink. It was several days after he’d made the trip into Duluth with Garrett and he’d yet to run into Sarah. Unfortunately, the distance hadn’t helped clear his mind. “You could finish these dishes if you can’t think of anything else to do.”

It was a Saturday night, and one of the rare occasions when Erica took the night off from Duffy’s, so Jesse had taken off from work early and fixed dinner for Garrett’s family. After they’d eaten his meat loaf, mashed potatoes and green beans, he’d forced Erica into the family room to relax while Zach and Jesse cleaned the kitchen. She had her feet up on the couch and was reading a magazine while Garrett was playing with David on the floor.

“I don’t want to do dishes,” Zach said. “I want to do something. And I’m sick of video games.”

Jesse gripped his chest, pretending to have a heart attack. “Did I hear that right? You’ve had enough of video games?”

Zach shook his head. “I want spring to come. I wanna play baseball.” There was no doubt this long winter was starting to wear on everyone.

Jesse had just finished draining the sink when he
felt a tug on his jeans, little hands probably sticky with all kinds of goop, but who cared? “Is that a bug I feel climbing up my leg?” Without looking down, he shook his foot a bit. “If I get hold of it, I’m going to squash it flat as a pancake!” Growling, he reached down.

David squealed, showing a mouthful of baby teeth, and ran to hide behind Zach’s legs.

“Oh, no, that little bug’s not getting away that easily.” Jesse snatched the boy and tossed him in the air. David laughed, a full belly laugh that resonated all the way down Jesse’s arms. He tossed his littlest nephew again, turned to Zach and the grin on Zach’s face gripped his heart. He was really going to miss these boys, but his traveling cash was just about where he needed it. Another month and he’d have all he’d need to head as far south as he wanted.

A loud knock sounded on the front door.

“I’ll get it!” Zach ran to open the door.

Sarah and Brian stood on the porch all bundled up in hats, scarves and snowpants. They stepped inside. “Hey,” Jesse said, drying his hands on a towel. “What’s up?”

“We’re going sledding,” Brian said, the excitement in his voice nearly tangible. “You guys want to come with us?”

“I do!” Zach ran to the family-room couch. “Can I go, Erica?”

“I don’t know.” Erica sat up from the couch and glanced at Sarah. “David’s bedtime is in half an hour.”

“No problem,” Sarah said. “I can take Zach. You and Garrett can chill with David.”

“Can Zach come over to my house afterward for a sleepover?” Brian asked.

“Fine by me.” Erica glanced at Zach. “But you have to get your own stuff together.”

In a flash, Zach disappeared upstairs and then reappeared with a backpack. He raced to the mudroom and immediately pulled on snowpants.

Sarah glanced Jesse’s way. “You want to join us, Jesse?”

She wanted him to come out and play. He glanced into her eyes. Not good. Not good at all. “Naw, I was just settling—”

“Come on, Jesse,” Brian urged. “We just got six inches of new powder and our sledding hill rocks.”

“Winter’s almost over,” Sarah said. “This will likely be the last chance you have to go sledding before the snow is all gone.”

Jesse hadn’t been sledding since he’d been about ten years old. “It’s too cold out. The windchill’s below zero.”

“Crybaby,” Zach muttered under his breath, the challenge clear.

“What did you call me?” Jesse glared good-naturedly at his nephew.

“What?” Zach put his hands out. “I didn’t say anything.”

“There’s no wind tonight.” Sarah smiled. “So that means no windchill.”

“I was about to start a movie.”

“Yeah, I think he should stay,” Garrett said, grinning at Jesse. “That way he can get the downstairs to himself for a little while. Erica and I were about to head upstairs and get David to bed. Then head to bed ourselves.”

Jesse glared at his brother, the message coming through loud and clear. Anything would be better than being forced to listen to Garrett and Erica getting
amorous. Again. “All right. Fine. I’ll go. The minute I start getting cold, I’m coming home.”

He put on Garrett’s snowsuit and his own hat and mitts and the four of them walked down Mirabelle’s residential back streets, dragging sleds and snow tubes behind them. The night was still and quiet, the only sound the crunching of the snow beneath their boots. A brilliant moon hung in the black early-evening sky, lighting their way. As the boys raced ahead, leaving him and Sarah to walk alone, the night turned decidedly intimate.

“So where’s this hill?” Jesse asked, trying to keep things light.

“Past the abandoned Draeger Mansion and the Hendersons’ orchard. On the way to Full Moon Bay.”

“Didn’t know the island had any bays other than the marina in town.”

“We have a couple. Full Moon Bay’s on the northeast side of the island, but the sledding hill—the biggest hill on the island—is just before the lighthouse,” Sarah explained. “Marty Rousseau installed some floodlights a couple years back. It’s become popular with young kids during the day and older kids at night.”

They followed a path through a line of white pines and broke into a small clearing to find a bonfire blazing at the top of the hill. Several people sat on tree stumps sipping hot drinks in front of a fire pit made from Lake Superior stone.

A crowd. Good. He wouldn’t be alone with Sarah.

Brian immediately set out for the hill. “Woo hoo!”

“Race you down!” Zach yelled, hot on his trail.

They hopped onto their sleds and slid down faster than anything Jesse had ever seen. Jesse went to stand next to Sarah, watching them. It was a steep hill and
the boys were flying. “That looks like fun,” he murmured.

“Let’s go.” Sarah lined up her snow tube and settled on top of it, shoving her thickly mitted hands into the snow as brakes. “Last one to the bottom carries up both tubes.” She pushed off.

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Jesse hopped onto his tube and raced after her. He was a good fifteen feet behind her but gaining fast. Then his boot caught a chunk of hard-packed snow, spinning his tube. Before he knew it, he was careening backward down the hill.

“Whoa, Nelly,” he yelled. “These tubes are fast!”

Sarah, of course, beat him down, so he carried her tube back up the hill.

“Race you, Jesse!” Brian called once he’d gotten to the top.

“Let’s
all
race,” Zach said.

“You’re on!” Jesse lined himself up. “Sarah, you in?”

“Of course.”

Jesse glanced at the other three and put his hands down in preparation for pushing off. “Ready, set.” He pushed off before saying
go.

“No fair!” Brian yelled.

“Cheater!” Zach called.

Sarah’s laughter followed him all the way down the hill. He got to the bottom and hopped off his tube. “I won!”

A split second later, Brian purposefully ran into him, toppling him onto his side.

“You didn’t say
go,
” Brian said. “It doesn’t count.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said as innocently as he could manage.

“Let’s get him,” Zach said.

The boys hopped on top of him, throwing snow into his face. “Hey, I think I deserve a handicap.” The moment he wiped the melting snow off his cheeks, the boys flicked more at him. “That’s cold!” he yelled.

“That’s what cheaters get,” Sarah said, joining in by pushing a handful of snow down the back of his jacket.

“Okay, that’s it! You boys are dead meat now!” He pushed the boys off. “And you—” he pointed to Sarah “—I’m saving for later.”

“Oh, now I’m really scared.”

He chased after the boys. They made the critical mistake of running together, making tackling them together all the easier. He roughhoused with them, got them full of snow and ran after them up the hill. By the time he got to the top, he was almost out of gas, but he was having so much fun he didn’t want to stop. This night reminded him so much of the simpler times he’d spent with his brothers. Laughing, fighting, playing hard. After several runs down the hill, everyone was ready for a break, even the boys.

“Anyone for some hot cocoa?” Sarah asked.

“Me!”

“And me!”

She’d stuffed a thermos into a backpack. After pulling it out, she poured some cocoa into cups and passed them around, then sat on a stump by the fire. “Glad you came out with us?” She handed him a cup.

“Yeah,” he whispered. “I haven’t had this much good, clean fun in…well, a long time.” He took a sip of steaming hot cocoa and the taste took him back.

Not since he was a kid, that’s for sure, had he experienced this kind of simple, uncomplicated joy. When he smiled at Sarah it felt honest and from the heart. He
was happy. And it was just getting outside and sledding. It was hanging with Zach and Brian. It was simply being with Sarah. Jesse glanced at her across the fire. The glow of the flames cast her features in warm gold light. That’s when he realized the other families who’d already been there when they’d arrived earlier had all gone home. Brian and Zach were somewhere down the hillside. He and Sarah were alone.

Their gazes caught. He looked away. The silence only made him more aware of the attraction between them, so he cleared his throat. “How long have you been on Mirabelle?”

“A little more than four years.”

About the time he’d gone to prison, she’d settled here. “Do you ever miss Indiana?”

“Never.”

“Winters must be colder here. Don’t they ever get too long?”

“February and March can drag. That’s why it’s important to get out like this and enjoy this kind of idyllic night.” As she sipped her cocoa a few plump snowflakes fell lazily from the dark sky. One landed on her cheek and as Jesse imagined licking it off, she brushed it away. “It doesn’t get any better than this.” She smiled.

No, he imagined, it didn’t. Women didn’t get much prettier, either. He swallowed down the last of his cocoa and then he tapped the stone surrounding the fire with the tip of his boot. “These stones come from the shoreline?”

She nodded. “Most likely from Full Moon Bay. Why?”

“Come springtime, if we can gather enough decent-size rocks, I could cover that old brick fireplace in your house.”

“A rock fireplace would look amazing,” she said. “I never thought to collect rocks from the Mirabelle shore.”

“We’d need to collect a lot, roughly the same size. Getting them up to your house would be an issue.”

“Mirabelle has some utility vehicles. Maybe the town council will let us use one for a day.”

“Then let’s do it. As soon as the snow melts.” They fell quiet again. This was dangerous, sitting alone around a fire with Sarah. “Ready to hit the hill again?”

“Absolutely.”

The boys were having the most fun Jesse had seen them having since he’d come to the island. They raced him and Sarah, even tried knocking them off their tubes. This last time down, they’d gotten quite a head start on Jesse and Sarah and were already heading up the hill before he and Sarah were ready to sail down.

She went first.

Jesse took a running jump at his tube and caught up with her in seconds. He’d miscalculated and was going too fast. “Watch out, Sarah!” he called, laughing.

It was too late. His tube crashed into hers, flipping them both. An instant later, they were rolling the rest of the way down the hill, a mass of bodies and inner tubes. When they stopped and the snow settled, he was flat on his back with Sarah spread out on top of him and inner tubes were skimming their way down the rest of the hill.

Instinctively, he put his arms around her, and their gazes locked. “You all right?”

“Fine,” she breathed, the air slipping past her lips in visible puffs.

God, she was beautiful. Moonlight sparkled in her
eyes, and her cheeks were pink with cold. Snowflakes melted on her skin. Her lips. Oh, man, her lips.

He was pretty sure Garrett’s insistence that Jesse show Sarah the man he’d become and prove to her that he wasn’t the same man who’d driven drunk four years ago didn’t involve persuasion of a physical kind. But the hell with it.

He quickly glanced back to find the boys halfway up the hill. Before giving himself the chance to think better of it, Jesse rolled over and reversed their positions. “I still owe you for pushing snow down my back.” He bent his head to kiss her. The moment his cool lips touched her warm mouth he touched the tip of his tongue to the inside of her upper lip. Sweet cocoa and Sarah.

She stiffened for a moment as if taken by surprise before wrapping her arms around him and kissing him back. Her mouth opened, her tongue tangled with his and she moaned. “I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” she whispered.

“Then why didn’t you?” he said, kissing her again. And again.

“Because…I don’t…I don’t know what we’re doing.” Her breath left her mouth in quick bursts of frozen air.

“Does it matter?”

She put her hands on his chest and held him back. “Maybe not to you, but it does to me.”

“Don’t get so serious, Sarah. What’s wrong with a lighthearted fling? We’re adults. We can handle that.” No one could rationalize better than a man with a hard-on. “I won’t ask for anything you don’t want to give.”

“That’s the problem. I’m not sure there’s anything I’d hold back from you.”

“Sarah—”

“No, Jesse.” She stood and brushed the snow from her pants. “I’m a single parent, and Brian is starting to like you. Maybe too much. Things like this…matter a lot. You don’t want to hurt anyone, I know. But a man like you leaves nothing but a mess in his wake.”

She was right. Still, it stung. He got to his feet. “Maybe you should fire me.”

“I should’ve never said that. I’m sorry.” She shook her head and looked away. “The truth is that as soon as my house is done you’re gone as quickly as you came, right? It’s what you do, isn’t it? Leave?”

That fact he couldn’t argue, or reason away.

“Well, Mirabelle’s my home. It’s where I plan on staying for the rest of my life,” she said. “We have no future, so there’s no point in creating a present.”