Read The Pursuit of Jesse Online
Authors: Helen Brenna
S
ARAH STOOD
in the soft green grass staring at the wet, charred remains of her house. It was all gone. Everything. The only things left standing were the Lake Superior stones Jesse had painstakingly laid one at a time to form her new fireplace. The once subtly colored collection of gray, pink and beige rocks were now black with soot.
She took a few steps into the ash and stopped at the feeling of something solid beneath her foot. An unblemished section of the gingerbread trim Jesse had made for her house stuck through the debris. It was part of the gable decoration he’d designed himself. She ran her fingers along what was left of the intricately carved wood. How many hours had he spent making all that trim? What had he been thinking during that time?
She felt Jesse’s presence even before she heard his shoes shuffling against the sidewalk behind her.
He came to stand beside her. “The fire marshall told Garrett the fire started in the basement,” he said, his voice still harsh from smoke inhalation. “The wiring in the electrical switch at the base of the stairs.”
“I know.” She brushed some ash off the dingy white wood. “It wasn’t the rewiring you did.”
“I’m so, so sorry I didn’t fire that son of a bitch of an electrician as soon as he showed up.”
“It’s not your fault, Jesse.” She turned toward him. “Please don’t blame yourself.”
He wouldn’t look at her.
“Your hands,” she whispered. The burns on his face and forearms weren’t as severe. They’d eventually heal completely, but his hands might be scarred for life. “The doctor said you may need skin grafts.”
“Maybe. Just on the back side.” He grinned. “I should be able to hold a hammer in a couple weeks.”
“Jesse—”
“It’s all right, Sarah.” He put his hand around her shoulder. “Everybody’s okay.”
“You worked so hard for nothing.”
“We both did.”
“There’s nothing left to salvage,” she said. “Everything’s gone.”
“Your insurance covers everything. They’ll bulldoze over this mess and before you know it, you’ll have a brand-new house. You can lay it out exactly the way you want. It’ll all be brand-new.”
His body heat was the most comforting thing she’d felt all morning and all she wanted to do was curl into him. But not yet. First, they had a few things to settle. “You know what’s strange, though? I don’t care. About any of it. That house was just wood and paint and glass.”
“Sarah—”
“There is no wave without wind. Remember?” She turned toward him, laid her hands on his chest. “No life without love. No me without you. You’re alive. Brian’s alive.” He’d be coming home from the hospital that afternoon. “You two are all that matters to me. I can deal with my house burning down. I can’t deal with you
leaving Mirabelle. I can’t help it. I want those waves, Jesse. I want you.”
It was killing him, but he held her gaze.
“I love you, Jesse. Stay. I want to share the rest of my life with you. In that apartment over my shop. In another house. Hell, I’d live in a tent in the woods if it meant you’d be by my side.”
“I don’t know that I belong here.”
“I do. I know. You belong on Mirabelle as much as I do. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to find joy. You deserve a good life.”
He wanted to believe that. He wanted to believe he’d done his time, that he’d paid the price for his mistake.
“I’m not perfect either, you know.” She gave him a slight smile. “Far from it. So the way I see it is that I have another imperfect person, who happens to be perfect for me.”
He wanted to believe it was that simple, but it wasn’t.
“Do you love me?”
He looked away, clenching his jaw tight.
“Jesse. Do you love me?”
He closed his eyes. “You know I do.”
“Then stay.” Sarah cupped his cheeks in her hands and tilted his face back to hers. “Stay on Mirabelle and…build a new house, Jesse.”
Build a new house. His heart raced at the possibility. Start from scratch and build an entire house. He could do it. He knew he could do it.
“But don’t build
me
a house. Build
us
a house. For
our family.
You, me and Brian. Stay on Mirabelle, and build us a house.”
A family. A life.
“I need you, Jesse. Brian needs you. Now more than ever.”
Emotion clogged his throat, making words impossible. A part of him still felt as though he didn’t deserve Sarah. Very likely that feeling would never entirely go away. No matter what he did or didn’t do, he would never completely exonerate himself for taking away Hank’s legs.
Still, he was going to spend the rest of his life trying to find the best in himself. If that was good enough for Sarah, it was good enough for Jesse. He gazed down into her eyes and knew that simply staying would never be enough.
“I’ll stay,” he whispered. “On one condition.” If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right.
A tear slipped from her lash. “What’s that?”
He brushed it from her cheek and grinned. “You want me to build you a house, boss lady, you gotta offer something in exchange. Cash isn’t going to cut it this time.”
“Oh, yeah?” She smiled back at him. “What did you have in mind?”
“How does the rest of your life sound?”
“With you?” She swallowed. “Like a dream come true.”
T
HERE IS NO WAVE WITHOUT WIND
.
His heart calm, his hands steady, his breathing as even as it had ever been, Jesse stared up at Mirabelle’s little white church that gloriously sunny and mild weekday evening at the end of May and debated what he was about to do.
Well, hell. Screw the calm-pool, smooth-as-glass theory.
Tonight and for the rest of his life he was going to ride the sweetest crest of the biggest wave he’d ever known. Resolved, and about as at peace with his decision as he could get right now, he walked into the church and found Mirabelle Island’s retired pastor, John Andersen, waiting for him at the door.
Jesse had the opportunity to get to know John a little bit while he and Sarah had discussed their wedding plans with him, and it had been apparent his wife’s death was still at the forefront of his thoughts. “How are you doing, John?”
“As good as can be expected. Thanks for asking, Jesse,” the pastor said, his thin lips curving into a slight smile.
“Thanks for doing this,” Jesse said. “It means a lot to Sarah.”
“She’s a wonderful young lady.”
“And I’m a lucky man.”
“Oh, I have a feeling there’s a bit more than luck
involved here.” John glanced at Jesse’s hands, still bandaged from the fire. “A good woman picked a good man and eventually the rest of Mirabelle will see what Sarah knows in her heart.” He smiled. “Now. You ready?”
“Oh, yeah,” Jesse said, glancing around. “Is she here?”
“I’m sure she’ll be here any minute.”
For an instant, Jesse’s mind played tricks on him. What if she didn’t show? What if she’d changed her mind? What if—
No. Not possible. She would be here. She loved him. Of that, he was absolutely sure. She wouldn’t miss today for anything in the world.
From the moment he had asked her to spend the rest of her life with him, she’d told him she knew what her wedding day would be like. Simple. The simpler, the better. She wanted no flowers. No bridesmaids or groomsmen. No sit-down dinner or party favors for guests. No invitations. No champagne flutes. No garter belts or tuxes. No high heels. She didn’t even want a wedding dress. The only finery, if you could even call it that, was two plain wedding rings stuffed into the front pocket of his khaki shorts.
Shoes scraped on the concrete steps behind him and Jesse turned to find Missy and Jonas, Erica and Garrett, Zach and David coming toward him. Since Jesse’s hands were still bandaged, Erica and Missy kissed his cheek. Garrett smiled and hugged him tightly. “This is it, bro. Your new life starts now.”
“You can say that again.”
Jonas hung back, waiting for everyone to step away. Then he came to Jesse and patted his shoulder. “I owe you an apology.”
“No, you don’t.”
The man had never once been overtly hostile, only cautious. Who could blame him for that?
“Okay, maybe not.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “In any case, I want you to know that you’re welcome in my home anytime. This island is lucky to have not one, but two Taylor brothers call it home. You’re as good a man as your brother.”
“Well, I wouldn’t go that far.”
“I would.”
As Jonas stepped away, Jesse saw Sarah walking toward the church, holding Brian’s hand. She wore a simple shirt and a flowing skirt, both in white. Her hair was down and straight, and all he wanted to do was run his hands, bandaged or not, through the long black strands.
Grinning at Jesse, Brian went to stand by Zach, and the group behind Jesse filed into the church. He and Sarah were alone in front of Mirabelle’s little white church.
Slowly, her eyes never leaving his face, Sarah climbed the steps and stood before him.
“You look…so beautiful,” he whispered.
“So do you.” She smiled, a little bit shy, but a lot happy.
“I know you wanted today simple, but every bride should have flowers.” Jesse drew from behind him the bouquet of island wildflowers he’d collected. “Picked them myself.”
“With your hands still bandaged?”
“Well, cut them is more like it.” Took him longer than he’d expected, but he’d managed. “I have no idea what they are.” All he knew was their colors—blue, white, yellow and red—looked pretty and seemed to suit Sarah and the kind of wedding she wanted.
“Perfect, is what they are.” Her eyes misted with tears. “Thank you.”
“Well,” he said, grinning. “You ready for this?”
“Never been more ready for anything.”
He placed her hand on his arm and walked to the front of the little chapel with her. The service from start to finish took all of ten minutes, with the very thorough kiss taking up most of the time. When it was over, they turned around to clapping and laughter.
“I made dinner,” Erica said, “at Missy and Jonas’s house.”
“You weren’t supposed to do that,” Sarah protested.
“She knows,” Missy said. “But
we
all wanted to celebrate.”
They walked as a group the few blocks to Missy and Jonas’s house, and as they approached, it was clear the backyard was full of people.
“You didn’t have to plan it,” Missy said. “So it’s okay if we invited a few people, right?”
Sarah laughed. “It’s more than okay. It’s wonderful.”
The crowd hooted and clapped when they appeared, and there were more introductions for Jesse. He could see in Sarah’s smile that the best surprise of all was that Ron and Jan Setterberg and Arlo and Lynn Duffy had returned to Mirabelle a week early for this special occasion. Even Natalie and Jamis Quinn and their brood of kids had made a special trip to celebrate with Sarah and Jesse.
These people, some of whom he’d never met before, hugged and congratulated him as if they’d known him their entire lives. All of Sarah’s people. People Jesse had no doubt would soon be his, as well. Even Jan
Setterberg pulled him aside for a moment. “I apologize for being rude to you at the funeral. I was wrong.” She glanced at Brian and her eyes filled with tears. “I just can’t imagine… I’m glad you’re here on Mirabelle.”
“Thank you, Jan. That means a lot to me.”
Ron patted him on the back. For several long moments Jesse was more than a little overwhelmed.
“So what do you think?” Sarah whispered in his ear.
“I think you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He kissed her.
Then Hank spun out from where he’d been unintentionally hiding behind a group of people and rolled toward them through the grass. “Congratulations,” he said, smiling.
“Hank.” Jesse shook his hand. “Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks for inviting me,” he said to Sarah.
“You are more than welcome,” Sarah said. “Anytime, anywhere on Mirabelle.”
“I’m sorry about the fire.” Hank glanced from Sarah to Jesse, taking in Jesse’s bandaged hands. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
“Brian’s okay,” Jesse said. “That’s what counts.”
“I have a toast!” Jamis called out, holding a bottle of beer in the air. Everyone grew quiet as they glanced at him. “And just like that,” he said, shaking his head, “another one bites the dust.”
Natalie laughed and raised her own glass of wine in the air. “Congratulations, Sarah and Jesse!”
“Hear! Hear!” Hank said, wheeling out of the way.
“Way to go, little bro!” Garrett called out. “And Sarah!”
“Ayep,” Arlo agreed, holding baby David in his arms.
“Cheers!” Ron and Jan said in unison, each holding one of Missy and Jonas’s baby boys.
Missy handed Sarah and Jesse glasses of sparkling water. “Your auras today are as beautiful as I’ve seen them,” she said, tears in her eyes.
“Thank you, Missy,” Sarah said, “for doing all of this.”
“Me?” Missy laughed. “I made a few calls. Erica did all the work.”
Erica had, indeed, prepared a feast. Two big pans of lasagna, salad and bread, an antipasto tray, flatbread pizzas and a triple-layer cake.
“You outdid yourself, sis.” Jesse gave Erica a hug after he and Sarah had finished eating.
“You know how much I love cooking for anyone who shows up at the table.”
He laughed. “Thanks for putting up with me in your house all those months.”
“You and Sarah going to stay in her old apartment?”
“For a while yet,” Sarah said.
“I’ve got a whole summer’s worth of construction projects scheduled, so the house is going to have to wait. The plan is to get the shell of a new house done before the snow flies.”
“We’ll work on the interior over the winter,” Sarah added.
“And it’ll be better than ever,” Hannah said as she came toward Sarah and Jesse, her arms outstretched. “Congratulations. I’m so happy for both of you.”
“Thanks, Han,” Sarah said.
“This is as good a time as any to tell you some news of my own.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m moving to Madison.”
“What?”
“We had such a great time over Valentine’s Day and in Florida over spring break. He asked me to move in with him.”
“That seems fast.”
Hannah chuckled. “I’ve known him longer than you’ve known Jesse.”
Sarah laughed. “You got me there.”
“But I decided to get my own place. Subleasing an apartment for six months to see how it goes. So…as soon as school’s out, I’ll be moving.”
“I’m going to miss you, but I get it.”
“I’ll only be a few hours away, and you know I’ll be back to visit. Who knows? Maybe someday soon you’ll be planning
my
wedding.” Hannah grinned as she walked away.
As the food slowly disappeared and the sun started to set, someone lit a bonfire and brought out a radio. Jesse found himself blissfully alone with Sarah in the dark. “Well,” he murmured in her ear, “the day didn’t turn out exactly as you planned. But did it work?”
“It’s been nothing short of magical.”
Brian ran up to them. “This is awesome,” he said, grinning as he glanced up at Jesse. It was amazing, but the boy hadn’t gotten a single burn from the fire. “Now can I call you Dad?”
Dad? Whoa.
Jesse swallowed down a sudden lump in his throat. “You serious?”
“Dude. I’ve always wanted a dad.” Brian glanced at Jesse’s bandaged hands. “And you’re gonna be the best ever.”
Jesse looked at Sarah. The love he saw in her eyes
filled him with joy. Real joy. The kind of joy that life was supposed to be all about. “Yeah, Bri. I’d be honored to have you call me dad.”
“Sweet.
Dad
.” Brian laughed and ran off with Zach toward the fire.
Jesse reached for Sarah and pulled her close. “That sounded so weird.”
“How does husband sound?” she whispered against his lips.
He closed his eyes, buried his face in her hair and breathed in the scent of flowers, something he was going to enjoy doing for the rest of his life. “Like the most right thing in the world. Wife.”