Authors: Brenda Bevan Remmes
“He’s been brooding?”
“He’s a very private man and doesn’t often voice his personal feelings, but I know. He’s become quite involved in this thing with Maggie, going all the way to Durham to give blood. When that boy they called Frog-whatever said at the rehearsal dinner that you asked young Nat to go and give blood, I thought maybe you asked Grandpa, too. Did you?”
“Yes, Grandma, I did.”
“Why?”
“Well, I’ve asked everybody,” Liz said, stumbling a bit over her words. She couldn’t lie to Grandma. She just couldn’t. “You know how worried I am for Maggie.”
Grandma Hoole looked out the window. “You didn’t ask me.”
Liz’s mind went blank; she had no response. She could neither lie nor tell the truth. She said nothing, and wondered again when silence justified the absence of truth?
After hamburgers the boys began to doze on and off. “That wedding ended up costing quite a lot, don’t you think?” Grandma said.
“Yes, it did
.”
“I can only imagine what else the same money could have done.”
“I’m sure there are lots of things. But in the meantime, the celebration provided salaries for a whole lot of people who made the dresses, cooked and served the food, played the music, and cleaned the hotel rooms. It brought people from far away together for a short period of time to laugh and remember to love one another. Those people are all grateful someone wanted to spend money on a wedding,”
“I guess so,” Grandma said, but couldn’t keep from adding, “I think it would have been just as nice without the alcohol.”
Liz wanted more than ever to change the subject from money and Grandpa’s brooding. “Grandma, what was Grandpa like when you met him?”
Grandma’s thin lips relaxed in reflection. “A serious young man, very serious.”
“Not the party type?” Liz joked, never having seen either Grandpa or Grandma do more than to blow out some candles on a cake, and find enjoyment in the faces of their grandchildren.
“Well, we attended Guilford, after all, and we are considered
slow
Quakers from the old school. But I know Guilford has made some major concessions, and well, I won’t even mention what I’ve heard about parties these days.” She raised one eyebrow and looked at Liz out of the corner of her eye.
“How did you two meet?”
“In an accounting class. He was the star student.”
“I didn’t think Quaker schools recognized star students. Not wanting to encourage gains through competition, as Adam phrased it.”
“No, Adam is right. They don’t. He was a star to me though.”
“Why was that?”
“He was so intense; so serious, studying all the time or working. He had put his tuition together through a bunch of scholarships and part-time jobs. It was hard for me to find any spare time in his schedule to flirt with him.”
“Why, Grandma Hoole. You, a flirt? I would have never guessed.”
“I had to do something to get his attention.”
“What finally won him over?”
“I learned how to make him laugh. You would have thought he’d never had a day of joy in his life. Then one day we started to laugh. It was over something silly. I remember exactly. I had made him some brownies and taken them to the men’s hall where he lived. When he came down and ate one, he tried to be very polite, but it was obvious he didn’t like them. I took a taste and realized I’d forgotten to put any sugar in them. We started to laugh.” Grandma’s face brightened and her eyes lit up.
She continued, “Then several of the other men from his hall came out and made a fuss about Nathan getting brownies and not sharing them
. So Nathan told them his best girl had made them, and he hoped they’d enjoy them. When he offered them the plate, they grabbed up those brownies like dollar bills. Each of them ate their brownie and told me how wonderful they tasted, though their expressions told me otherwise. When they left, Nathan and I fell to the ground in laughter. I think he even used the example for a paper he wrote in ethics class on the Quaker testimony of truth. He said it got quite a discussion going.”
“But then you dropped out of college?”
“He had called me his best girl. Nathan didn’t lie. I knew we would get married. Once we’d made the decision, we couldn’t wait. It’s not like young people today. They go ahead and live together for two or three years and then they get married. We wanted to be together, so we got married.”
She leaned her head back on the car seat and continued to reminisce
. “Had a small Quaker wedding. My parents came. Nathan’s parents came. People brought food. I remember a beautiful June day.”
“You could have still kept up with your studies, though.”
“One of us had to work. Nathan’s education was the most important. We always figured I could go back once he had his degree. I got a job as a secretary for a bookkeeping firm and we made do. When Nathan finished a year later they offered him a job as a bookkeeper. We were careful with our money and I planned to start school in the fall and then I got pregnant with Chase. I stopped working after he was born.”
“Why did you move back to Cedar Branch?”
Grandma paused and gave a deep sigh. “I really thought we had no choice. We needed to help out his mother after his father died. Nathan seemed terribly reluctant. There was something in Cedar Branch he didn’t want to come home to. I learned not to ask too many questions. It only drove him deep into himself.”
“Did he ever tell you what it was?”
“No. He struggled with it…really struggled. I finally told him that there was nothing in his past that I needed to know. I thought maybe it had to do with another romance, or maybe something between his mom and dad. But I didn’t care. We had made our vows to one another and once we did that, I knew he’d never break them. We belonged to each other. What was past could stay in the past.”
Liz kept her eyes on the road and wished with all her heart that’s what would happen.
“Nathan’s struggle is one between himself and God,” Grandma continued, “and I believed that the two of them would reach consensus. For much of his life, I think he has.”
She turned and looked at
Liz. “Having you and Chase and the boys close by has meant so much to him. But then something stirs him every now and then, and he’s lost again to that inner struggle.”
Liz didn’t say anything for a bit. The boys were starting to fidget with one another in the backseat. “What finally persuaded you two that this was where you belonged?”
“His mother. One day when we called her on the phone, she became very upset, and sounded confused. His Uncle Charles called to say that a neighbor found her walking along the road and she didn’t know how to get home. We felt like she couldn’t live alone any longer. So here we are today in the very house where Nathan and his father grew up. I don’t regret that,” Grandma said. “The accounting office turned out well. It’s been a good life.”
“You know he tells everyone he never could have done that without you.” Liz said.
“That’s nice to hear.” Grandma seemed pleased.
They pulled off I-95 onto the two lane road that took them to Cedar Branch and the boys began to doze again.
“I’m surprised Grandpa didn’t go back into farming, like his dad,” Liz said after they’d gone a few more miles.
“We’d have never made any money at farming
. His Uncle Charles wanted him to join the two farms and raise more horses, but Nathan dismissed the idea immediately.”
“Really?”
“Nope, it was always the numbers. Nathan liked to be able to work alone. He could run the numbers in his head. Didn’t even need to put them on paper, although, of course he did anyway. I don’t think we could have possibly done as well in farming.”
“You’ve both been very generous. Cedar Branch is lucky to have you there.”
“Nathan believes that you have a responsibility to invest back into the community that invests in you. If we make money from the people or the land in Cedar Branch, he insisted that we not take that money and spend it in a city someplace else. Small towns need people to invest in things closes to their homes.”
*****
Liz pulled into the drive at Grandpa and Grandma’s and put the car in park. When they walked into the back door they saw Grandpa sitting at the kitchen table. He barely acknowledged either of them.
“Nathan, what in the world is wrong?” Grandma
Hoole asked. A single plug-in swag light with a simple white shade cast a shadow over his face. It made his lips look blue and his skin gray. Had he been lying on the floor Liz would have immediately thought he’d had a heart attack.
“I’m tired, that’s all,” he said wearily. “Wanted to wait up for you and know everyone got home safe.”
“You and Chase didn’t think about waiting up for us back there.” Grandma made a gesture to the outside road. “You just disappeared up the highway.”
“I’m sorry,” Grandpa said without further explanation.
“It wasn’t a problem, Grandpa. We did fine,” Liz said. “Can I do anything else for you two before I go home?”
“No, dear,” Grandma Hoole said. “I’ll just have a sweet potato, and then I’m going right to bed. It’s been quite a weekend, though. We both thank you for all the driving you did.”
“Nathan?” Grandma gestured as she opened the refrigerator door and pulled out a pottery bowl with four large sweet potatoes. “It’d make you feel better.”
“I think not, Euphrasia,” he said.
Liz leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek
. The boys stood in the doorway as a reminder that they were both tired and ready for bed. Grandpa looked over and beckoned them nearer. “Come here, you two. Give your old grandpa a kiss before you go.” They each ran over and let him embrace them in a bear hug. He released them and then looked up at Liz. “Thank you for everything.”
They scrambled back into the car and drove back to their house where all of the lights were on. As the car pulled in, Chase immediately came out the door and without a word began to unload the luggage. He did it with such regimentation that Liz found it disconcerting. The boys climbed out and headed into their bedroom. Liz searched Chase’s face for anything.
“So,” she finally said, “are we going to talk?”
“Not now, Liz. Just go on to bed.”
Liz tucked the boys in and took a shower. Then she lay exhausted and wide awake. Sleep would not come. Finally at two in the morning she climbed out of bed and put on her bathrobe. Chase sat on the porch swing. She grabbed an extra blanket and joined him. He took the blanket and wrapped it around himself.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you, Chase,” she said.
“I understand.”
“I can’t sleep.”
“How did you find out?” Chase asked.
“Went to check Maggie’s blood type and realized it wasn’t the same as her father’s
. Then Grandpa came to talk to me. He wanted to be a bone marrow donor.”
Chase nodded his head, “Figures.”
“Do you think we can keep this within the family?”
“Probably not.”
“Who’ll get hurt?”
“Well,” Chase took a deep breath, looked over at Liz and raised his eyebrows. “Of course Dad’s worried about Mom and you and me and the meeting. And then there’s Maggie.”
“Oh, Lord, Chase, I don’t want Maggie to know.”
He tilted his head and sighed. “….and the reputation of the Judge.” Chase stopped, raised the palm of his hands to his forehead as though he couldn’t stop the thoughts that now swirled. “That’s just for starters. We haven’t even considered the Perrys and what might happen in the black community.”