The Reluctant Duke (A Seabrook Family Saga) (20 page)

Thomas
hesitated.

“Although her
father wrote her a letter that I must give her once she and I are wed, I have
confidence Hamilton would not divulge any unpleasant things in his letter.”

“The real truth
would hurt, but she would understand her father’s reasons,” Amesbury added.
“You did nothing wrong. In fact, you were most decent. Her father contrived
everything, even a Plan B if Plan A didn’t work. He forced you into this
position, not the other way around. Surely Miss Hamilton would understand?”

 “I don’t know
about that,” Thomas grunted. “Maybe I should just tell her. Get it over with.
Because I don’t think my stomach can survive much more of this. It feels like
the guilt is eating me alive from the inside out.”

“Is that why
you’ve been rubbing your side these past few days?” Myles asked, frowning.

“Yes. I’m in
constant pain. My insides seem to alternate between stabbing pain and burning
agony.”

“Maybe it’s
something else,” Amesbury said, also concerned.

“I doubt it.
Sometimes it doesn’t hurt at all. It comes and goes. I’m sure I’ll be fine once
all this settles down.”

“If you say
so,” Myles said. “When do you expect us to arrive for the wedding?”

“In a
fortnight,” Thomas replied. “Amesbury, do you think you’ll be able to make the
trip?”

Amesbury looked
at him like he was mad in the head. “Of course I can. I feel perfectly fine. I
could leave today, if you wish.”

Shaking his
head, Thomas replied, “We cannot leave now. My mother would kill me if we
showed up while the planning was underway. She sent out the invitations this
morning, and I have no idea who was invited. She said it was none of my
concern. As the mother of the groom and acting as the mother of the bride, she
knew all the right people to invite. Bloody hell, I didn’t dare argue with
her.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

After a
fortnight residing at Stony Cross Manor, Emma was still in awe of the grounds
on the large estate. She had spent many a day walking and exploring and soul
searching within her. Today her husband-to-be would arrive. The upcoming
wedding seemed unreal. The dowager duchess had been most kind and generous
since they arrived. Because of her, the wedding would be a splendid affair,
befitting a duke.

That meant that
a week hence, at this hour, Emma would be a duchess. Her heart thumped double
time. Not only was she nervous and excited, she anticipated their wedding night
and having Thomas’s hands on her body again and hers on his. Sinking down on a
stone bench in the formal gardens, she sighed, closed her eyes, and daydreamed
about him.

Emma promised
herself that she would be the best wife and, God willing, the best mother.
Never would she give Thomas cause to regret marrying her.

“There you
are,” Bella said as she and Amelia approached the bench and sat down, sandwiching
her between them.

“Are you
nervous for my brother to arrive?” Amelia asked, sweeping errant strands of
hair up to the top of her head.

“Yes, but
excited as well. Can you believe in a week I will be your sister and married to
your brother?” Emma replied.

Giggles burst
forth from all three of them. “You must promise us you will share.” Bella
smiled and blushed, and clarified. “I mean, tell us everything about the
marriage bed.”

“I cannot do
that.” Emma gasped. “He is your brother. It would not be proper.”

“Well, if you
won’t tell us, how will we know what to expect when we marry?” Amelia pouted.

“I suppose your
mother will have a talk with you the morning of your wedding,” Emma explained,
patting Amelia’s hand.

“Oh, I can just
hear it now.” Bella imitated her mother’s voice almost perfectly. “Now my dear,
you must let your husband have your body whenever he desires it. Your wedding
night will hurt, and you will be mortified at the intimacy, but think nothing
of it. It is a wife’s duty to surrender to her husband’s ministrations in the
bedroom. Just grit your teeth, spread your legs, and think pleasant thoughts.
It will be over soon. No man dallies long with his wife. That is what
mistresses are for.”

Inside, Emma’s
body burned with memories of the last time Thomas had been with her in his
study. Her experience did not resemble anything Bella just described. And she
was looking forward to learning more. “Perhaps I will have to explain how it
truly is.”

Bella and
Amelia both swung around to look at her––one with blue eyes the same as
Thomas’s, the other with eyes of warm brown, but both seeking information.

“How do you
know it is not as Bella explained?” Amelia asked, eyes wide in anticipation.

Trying not to
blush, Amelia felt the heat sting her cheeks anyway as she remembered how
Thomas had played her body to make it sing. “Well, I don’t know for certain,
but that does not sound enjoyable at all.”

“You are
right,” Bella said. “If a man can get pleasure from it, why cannot a woman? Who
says a woman cannot enjoy the carnal pleasures of the marriage bed? Why, I
think if the right man touched me down there, I would melt with pleasure.”

Amelia gasped.
“Bella, respectable young ladies do not talk about their privates or about men
touching them. It is indecent.” Then she grinned and her cheeks turned a subtle
shade of pink. “Do you think they’ll touch us there?”

“Of course,”
Bella laughed. “How else can they put their swizzle stick inside us and hope to
make a baby?” Her eyes widened intuitively. “Has my brother . . . I mean . . .
has he touched you there?”

Heat scorched
Emma’s face and neck, telling all without words.

“He has,” Bella
whispered, mouth open in shock. “Please, tell us…did it feel good? Did it hurt,
and did you want to bury your face in shame? And please tell us, does my
brother use his tongue when he kisses you?”

“Wait . . .
please . . . wait,” Emma said as she tried to slow the pounding of her heart
and the mortification that they had guessed. “All I can say is, if you find the
right man, you will want him to touch you. You will not only want him to caress
you all over, you will want to touch him as well.”

Amelia shook
her head. “That is impossible. I would die of shame on the spot if a man
touched me there. Or if I touched that thing between his legs.”

 “Enough,” Emma
laughed nervously. If this talk did not stop she would surely die of
embarrassment. “Let’s go down by the water.”

“I think…,”
Bella went on, ignoring her, “if Myles wanted to touch me I would let him.”

“No, you would
not.” Amelia scolded her sister. “That would be scandalous.”

“Would you let
your Captain Rycroft do it?” Bella asked.

“I . . . I
don’t know.” Amelia crossed her arms under her breasts and huffed out loud,
“Maybe if we were married, but not before.”

“We will see,”
Bella added.

Just what Emma
needed. Now she’d worry about Bella letting Myles take liberties with her
person. Of course, since Myles had not shown any romantic interest in Bella,
that should not be too hard. She’d always wanted sisters to share things with,
and now she had them. They’d certainly shared. And though she was mortified,
her heart could not be happier.

Later that
afternoon, Emma’s intended, along with Myles and Amesbury, arrived on horseback
with a coach following closely behind. Emma assumed the coach carried their
valets and belongings. Watching them approach from the blue salon’s window,
Emma’s stomach flip-flopped and her heart fluttered rapidly inside her rib
cage.

Her eyes were
riveted on Thomas as he dismounted his large horse. His powerful and muscular
legs effortlessly swung him down to the ground. His brown riding breeches were
tight, highlighting every muscle, and his riding jacket pulled tightly across
his chest. A chest she envisioned sprinkled with soft hair and hard muscle.

My God, her
thoughts were all focused on the physicality of Thomas. She raised her hands to
cover her flaming cheeks. Between the conversations earlier in the day with
Amelia and Bella, and now with this powerful attraction to her betrothed… Emma
tingled deliciously between her thighs and crossed her legs beneath her skirts,
wishing the sensation away. All that did was make her more aware of the
sensation. Yes, indeed, she was definitely a wanton woman. Surely she should be
considering other more important things? Like the dress and the guests…

Moving away
from the window, Emma went out into the grand entrance and waited with fingers
twisting together, stomach fluttering and heart pounding. She waited as
patiently as she could for the doorman to open the solid front door. Then she
wondered if His Grace would think she was happy to see him if she greeted him
at the door.

Slowly, Emma
pivoted around and headed up the large staircase. She paused when she reached
the top. There, she waited until the three gentlemen stepped into the hallway.
She took a deep breath for courage and walked slowly down the stairs, humming
as if she didn’t have a care in the world. As if she didn’t know the men were standing
there.

“Miss
Hamilton.” Thomas’s voice carried up the staircase, causing her insides to
tingle. “Where is everyone? I thought we would be greeted with enthusiasm after
our long separation.”

“Your mother is
resting. Amelia and Bella are out riding. I believe they should be back
shortly.” Her eyes went from one man to the next. “I trust your travels went
well?”

Myles stepped
forward and bowed like the graceful rogue he tried to be. “Miss Hamilton, may I
say the country air definitely agrees with you? You’re lovelier than I
remember.”

“Why, Lord
Norwich, thank you. A charmer as always.”

“Emma, do you
remember my good friend, Amesbury?” Thomas asked with a bland expression on his
handsome face.

“Why, yes, I
do. My Lord, I’m pleased you accompanied the duke.” She curtsied then Amesbury
took her offered hand and bowed over it.

Amesbury’s eyes
sought hers, then he smiled and his whole face lit up, softening to reveal an
incredibly handsome man. She imagined the debutantes following him around,
batting their lashes. He was dashing, handsome, and a marquess. Wait, was he
not also betrothed to Lady Beth?

“I am glad you
could attend our wedding.” Emma’s eyes moved to Thomas, and her cheeks heated.
She swallowed. “Please tell me, will your lovely betrothed, Lady Beth, be
attending our wedding?”

If she had not
been attentive she would have missed the frown that crossed his face. But she
caught the expression and saw his body stiffen at the mention of Lady Beth.

“Lady Beth has
broken our marriage contract. We are no longer engaged.”

“Oh.” She found
herself staring at him. No words came to mind, to break the uncomfortable
silence she’d caused.

Thomas broke
the silence. “Yes, well, Amesbury is relieved. Ahh, here are our trunks. Giles,
could you inform Mrs. Webster we have arrived and my guests can now be shown to
their rooms? Excuse me, Myles, Amesbury. I would like a private word with my
lovely bride-to-be.”

The word
‘private’ had a profound effect on Emma’s body, sending quivers throughout.

“Shall we go to
the blue salon?” Thomas raised his brow and gestured for her to take his arm.
She swallowed and placed her hand on his forearm, trying to ignore the muscular
male hardness beneath her fingers and the masculine smell of horse and leather
invading her senses.

Emma sighed
with relief when he left the doors open, although if the truth be told, she’d
wanted him to take her into his arms and make her feel all relaxed and loose
and cherished.

“How may I help
you, Your Grace?” she said as he went to the window and looked out the same one
she had minutes before.

“I trust you
have had a pleasant two weeks here?” he asked as he turned around, regarding
her solemnly.

“Yes. You have
a beautiful place. I’ve explored all the gardens and the path down to the
ocean.”

“Good. Has
Mother treated you well?”

“Yes. Like a
daughter.”

His headed
tilted down slightly. “Good, as you will become her true daughter soon. This is
why I wanted to speak to you in private.” Pausing, he went to the sideboard and
poured a small amount of amber liquid into a tumbler.

“Are you
resigned to your fate and the fact we are going to marry?” he asked, then
downed the contents of his drink.

Was she?
Part of her still wanted to go home and be her own woman. Emma wanted to live
her life as she saw fit…and not be dictated to by a guardian or husband. The
other part of her wanted to be married to Thomas more than anything, to share
his life and bear his children.

Little things
about that picture bothered her, though. Most important was her writing. Since
arriving in England she had barely written a word. It had been her constant
companion at finishing school. Why did she find it difficult to put quill to
parchment here? Other than these reservations, Emma spoke the truth from the
bottom of her heart.

“I’m looking
forward to our marriage.”

***

Those words
took Thomas by surprise. He had expected an argument and was prepared for one.
He wondered what had changed since they had last seen each other. “I’m glad to
hear that, as I’m looking forward to our married life as well.”

Did she blush,
or was it his imagination? Stepping closer to her, he tilted her chin so he
could look at her lovely face, and his breath caught at her beauty and her
scent. Though he’d promised himself he’d be controlled with Emma, his heart
took off, sending his blood pumping wildly throughout his veins. Thomas did not
think he would ever tire of looking at her. Especially when she looked at him
like she did now, her features soft, her liquid blue eyes smoldering, her
delicious pink lips slightly parted. Emma was perfection in his eyes. And his
blood boiled.

“Emma,” he
whispered as he brushed his lips across hers. Though he wanted to ravish her
right there and then, he would not give more than this light kiss. If he did,
he would end up making her his before their wedding night. Call him
old-fashioned, but he wanted their first time together to be as husband and
wife, duke and duchess.

Thomas pulled
her into his arms, however, resting his chin upon the top of her head,
breathing in the jasmine scent of her. Closing his eyes, he stood still,
holding her body close. He felt her heart beat in little patters against his
chest.

His hands
caressed Emma’s back, and he heard a moan escape her lips as she snuggled
deeper into his arms, closer, more intimately, more temptingly.

He did not
trust himself any longer, so he stepped back and immediately regretted the
loss. His stomach pained, and he gritted his teeth to keep from groaning.

“I need to
speak with my mother,” he told her curtly. “Please excuse me.” He paused in the
doorway and glanced back at Emma who waited, face flushed, a dumbfounded
expression on her face.

Well, bloody
hell, she had the same effect on him. Now she knew how he felt. One minute he
was drawn to her, and the next he wanted to run away. Was this how the rest of
their life would be?   

***

The morning of
his wedding found Thomas bent over the chamber pot, emptying his stomach of its
contents from the previous night. Thank God his mother had opted out of the
traditional wedding breakfast. Food would not be possible this morning. As he
tried taking shallow breaths, the pain radiating from his right side refused to
let up. He made his way to the nearest chair and sank down, hissing in agony.

“All right,
Thomas Seabrook,” he groaned, “you need to pull yourself together. Today is the
day. Tonight is the night Emma becomes yours for all time.” Bending at the
waist, he hissed between short breaths. “You can do this. You need to do this.”