The Reluctant Virgin [Ride 'em Hard 6] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (10 page)

The land was slowly coming alive with nocturnal critters and insects. It was a magical atmosphere that lowered her inhibitions.

“What kind of sample?” she whispered.

“Good girl.” He made a sound not unlike the growl of an animal as he slid his hands under her shirt. Chance cupped her breasts, squeezing firmly, rubbing his thumbs over her beaded nipples. “You have beautiful tits,” he said. “More than a handful.”

He squatted down in front of her, raising her shirt enough for him to reach her breasts with his mouth. Chance suckled her tits like a newborn babe, sending intense spikes of hormones through her veins. She could feel it happening as it had this afternoon—that wanton desire taking control.

Chance unfastened her pants, pulling them down over the curve of her ass, along with her panties. Was he going to do the same thing Matthew had? It seemed the crickets momentarily silenced, as if they watched, also awaiting Chance’s next move.

“What are you doing?”

“Hush,” he said, his voice carried a dominant edge that made her pussy weep.

He rose up but remained bent over at the waist where he continued to engorge himself on her breasts, alternating from one to the next. The continued stimulation was the catalyst to a deeper awakening. Her stomach cramped, her blood heating. He wrapped one arm around her until his big palm cupped her rear. He slid his finger in the overflow of moisture along her folds and then proceeded to impale one finger into her ass. It was the oddest sensation, taking her off guard.

“Chance!” she squealed.

“Relax. I promise you’ll like it.”

“I will not.”

He kept wiggling his thick digit into her anus until knuckle deep. With his free hand he did the same thing, except with two fingers, into her pussy. He impaled her virgin pussy in a slow, measured breach. With a finger in her ass and two in her cunt, she felt stuffed, overwhelmed with the unusual, titillating mix of sensations.

“You like it?” he asked, slowly thrusting his fingers in and out of her pussy.

“I don’t know.”

“It takes some getting used to, I suppose. One day you’ll be begging me to fuck your ass with my cock. There are pleasure centers back here that most people don’t know exist.”

She dropped her weight down so Chance was forced to support her. Her knees were too weak all of a sudden. Cindy wanted to lie down on the prickly grass and allow the rough and ready cowboy to fuck her with all the stamina she knew he possessed. It would be so easy and take away the cruel ache deep in her core. But the more she believed her virginity wasn’t important, the more she realized that she was better than this.

How many stories had she heard about buckle bunnies and bar trawlers hooking up with men in the hay fields? She refused to be one of them. Cindy may have cursed her body most days for things she couldn’t change, but she could change the outcome of tonight.

Although Chance felt he had some kind of ownership over the cute, blonde cowgirl, he didn’t. After trying to earn her approval for five years, he should be seriously pissed off that she gave herself so freely to another man. But picturing the scene she described only made his cock hard. It was her virginity that gave him pause. He wasn’t even sure if he’d been with one, and he had a long track record of women he’d bedded over the years.

The truth was he was thirty-two years old and only getting older by the day. He used to register in at least half a dozen rodeo events in a year, but now he barely had the energy for two. Even if Cindy gave him the time of day, what did he have to offer her? He was chasing the wind. At his age, men didn’t start over. He had no land, not even a horse to call his own. How could he provide for a woman, a family? It was foolish to yearn for something that could never be.

At some point he’d resigned to living life as a drifter, not committing emotionally to any one person. He had enjoyed the fast life for years now. But that wayward lifestyle was catching up with him. Every time he’d look into Cindy’s big, blue eyes, he could see a future beyond what he’d settled for.

“Oh, God. It’s happening again.”

“What is?” he asked, wanting to hear her say it. Her innocence was an unexpected turn on. Usually he preferred his women experienced and uninhibited. Regardless, he knew a woman’s body well, and there was no way Cindy would be able to hold off much longer.

“I’m getting hot all over…” She was breathing heavily, her feminine panting music to his ears.

He moved his fingers just so, hitting the tender places he knew would push her over the edge. Then she detonated. He could feel her pussy and ass clamping down on his fingers. The girl was tight, and he could only imagine how good she’d feel around his cock. She latched onto his shoulders, digging her nails in deep. He had wanted to hear her cry out or call his name in the height of her passion, but she stifled her cries in the flannel of his shirt.

Fuck, he wanted her. His cock pulsed, so engorged he could barely stand straight. But unlike his usual reaction, he couldn’t bring himself to act on his urges. She was a fucking virgin. Was he that much of a bastard to rip it away from her? He liked to think he had a few morals left.

“You’re very receptive, Cindy.”

She fixed her shirt and pulled up her jeans. It was too dark now to see facial features. Once the sun began to lower on the prairies, night settled in fast.

“And very stupid.”

“We’re not children. Ain’t anything wrong with what just happened.” He leaned over to kiss her, but she pulled away.

“I’ve got to go. Maybe it would be better if we didn’t see each other again. I know you’re not interested in anything long-term, and I certainly can’t deal with a real relationship.” She spoke so fast he could scarcely understand her.

“Don’t put words in my mouth, darlin’. Just because I can’t keep my hands off you doesn’t mean I only have one thing on my mind. You’re something special.”

“Really?” She scoffed as she started walking towards the house. “You’re a playboy, Chance. I know that, the whole town knows that. Maybe that’s for the best since I can’t see myself getting into anything serious.”

He bolted ahead of her, and then walked backwards. Where were all his feelings of insecurity coming from? He felt the need to prove himself, to hold onto the girl he couldn’t get off his mind. “Hey, it’s not fair that you’re making assumptions about me. Is it because I ain’t a wealthy rancher? I suspect this ‘old friend’ of yours has more money than he knows what to do with.”

“As a matter of fact, he’s about to become homeless. But that’s beside the point.”

“What is your point exactly?” Irritation lashed within him, a combination of unfamiliar emotions and blue balls. Why couldn’t Cindy have felt the same desire that pumped through his veins? She had no idea the restraint he was using. That alone should prove how much he cared about her. He’d have any other woman on the prairie ground by now.

He ought to be happy that she was satisfied with a casual encounter and didn’t ask for a piece of him in return. He was off the hook and usually reveled in it. Now he felt used. Cindy’s brush-off only increased his desire to make her his, to make any changes necessary to keep her happy.

“I just want to be left alone. No point.”

“Or maybe you just don’t want me. Lord knows I’ve tried to gain your favor for years. Nothing I do or say seems to be good enough for you.” He wouldn’t force himself on the cowgirl. It was impossible to instill love in another person’s heart. Chance should know considering how many women tried to mold him into the perfect mate, only to be disappointed.

“I want no one, and trust me on this, you don’t want me.”

“You keep saying that, but it’s my choice to make,” he said.

Cindy made an exasperated groan. She pushed at his chest, trying to plow by him.

“And
you’re
the one angry, darlin’.”

She finally stopped, and he could hear her take in a deep, cleansing breath. “I’m mad at myself, not you. I’m always professional with my clients. Always. For some reason I’ve been out of sorts lately, doing things I normally wouldn’t even try.”

“It can be good to take chances.” He spoke softly, afraid to spook her. She was no different than a skittish green broke horse, and he didn’t want to lose her.

“Please. Let’s just go back to the way things were and forget all this.”

He’d had enough. His heart could only take so much punishment, and he didn’t like his weaknesses becoming more prevalent by the moment. “That’s easier said than done. I can’t turn off my emotions like a switch.” Then he laid it all out on the table. “I’m sure you won’t have any trouble giving me the cold shoulder for another five years. I guess it’s impossible to defrost the ice queen.”

Then he stalked off, not wanting to argue or grovel. He’d hit the town pub and filter out his sorrows with booze and women.

“Chance!”

He ignored her distant cries. This was her land, so she’d know how to find the house. Her parents had already put on the spotlights, creating a beacon in the inky blackness. If she wanted to act as if nothing happened between them, he’d oblige her. He only hoped she had a change of heart before his blackened completely.

Cindy watched the shadowy figure disappear around the old barn as she neared the house. She’d wanted him to leave her be, but not like this. His reaction was completely unexpected. She felt like a piece of shit for brushing him off, but a man like Chance should have welcomed the opportunity to walk away from a woman. He was known for his countless one-night stands, not long-lasting relationships. For a moment she swore she’d pegged him wrong. Either he was sorry for not taking the chance to fuck her proper or by some miracle he had decided to change his womanizing ways.

But just like she’d told him, a relationship was impossible for her. No matter how sexy and adored a man made her feel, all the newfound confidence in the world would be like water through her fingers once he saw her missing limb. She had to keep reminding herself of that. Commitment would equal humiliation, shame, heartbreak, and regret. Even her mother never pushed for grandchildren even though Cindy knew she wanted them more than anything. If the one woman who loved her unconditionally felt she was unmarketable, then it would be foolhardy for her to try and land a man.

Her usual excuses for staying single barely convinced her these last couple days. The three men who’d dared to kiss her had unleashed something from deep inside her that had lain dormant all these years. If she was only worried about her physical appearance, then she would have allowed Matthew to court her properly. He’d seen her at her worst and best, but he still appeared interested. Then what was her problem? She recognized there was a hurt little girl within her—one terrified of rejection, but desperate for approval. As much as she’d like to ignore that little voice, it was impossible. Her childhood had been so cruel that Cindy had a feeling that little girl would always be a part of her, never able to fully grow up.

She dropped down in the hammock at the rear of the house. Two massive oak trees watched her from either side, their leaves rustling with each passing of the wind. Cindy tried to understand herself, but came up blank. Maybe she was greedy. It would be difficult to choose between Chance, Josh, and Matthew—if she had such a choice. She smiled as she imagined wicked scenarios featuring all three men. Chance seemed turned on when she spoke about Matthew’s handling of her.

She shook her head slightly to cast away the thought. Cindy fiddled with her hair as she stared up at the moon. The gentle rocking of the hammock and symphony of insects lulled her until she was fading in and out of consciousness.

“Come on in the house now. It’s too late to be out here alone.” It was her mother’s soft voice. She hadn’t even noticed the screen door open.

“He’s not coming back, in case you were wondering,” she said.

“I expected as much.”

Cindy knew her parents had latched onto Chance and invited him to dinner for one reason only. They were desperate to see her in a real relationship. “Are you disappointed?”

“I’ve gotten used to you running off any man that shows an inkling of interest.”

She sat up. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re determined to be alone for the rest of your life. Your father and I won’t be around forever. You’re our only child, Cindy. We want to see you happy.”

She didn’t want to get mad when her mother sounded so sincere, but her emotions were all over the place tonight.

“I’m alone for a reason, mom. And you didn’t have more children for a reason, too.”

“Don’t…”

Cindy got off the hammock and began pacing the area. She realized that she hadn’t voiced her feelings in too many years to remember. She’d been bottling everything up, internalizing all her sorrows and regret. It was bound to come bursting out sooner or later.

“I’m a cripple. In a province brimming with beautiful cowgirls, why the heck would a man settle for me? And the only reason men give me the time of day is because I hide behind denim and lies. If they knew the truth they’d never call me again. You know that as well as I.”

“Cindy, please…”

“I know you mean well, but don’t make me feel guilty for being alone. Don’t you think I want the whole happily ever after?” Her voice cracked and tears began to swim in her eyes. She could only lie to herself for so long. The truth was she wasn’t happy. Not at all. She wanted the dream. “Don’t you think I want a man who loves me for who I am?”