Authors: Gemma Holden
Chapter Thirteen
The dancing instructor brought the stick down on the floor. “No, no, no,” he bellowed. “Start again.”
Lorelei went through the steps again, silently counting one, two, three, one two, three. Her Highness watched from the side of the room, nodding her head in time with the music.
If she had thought walking was painful, dancing was beyond agony. When she walked she stepped carefully, bracing herself for the pain as she put her foot down. When she danced, she had to move quickly from one foot to the other. There was no time to prepare herself. She could no longer feel her toes when she prodded at the lump. At night she stuffed a rag into her mouth when she unwrapped her feet to muffle her cries. The linen strips were now soaked in blood. She was surprised she didn’t leave a trail of bloody footprints behind her when she danced.
She remembered finding a wooden toy in the wreckage of a ship. The wooden doll had strings attached to its arms and legs to make it move and a wide smile painted onto its wooden face. She wore the same wide smile now on her face. She couldn
’t speak; the pain was too much. She would nod and smile when Christian’s mother spoke to her. Her Highness thought that she didn’t understand. She did understand. She just couldn’t speak. If she opened her mouth she feared she would scream and scream. She danced. Agony coursed through her with every step, but still she danced.
Finally, Her Highness signalled her to stop.
“That’s enough for today. You dance so beautifully.”
Lorelei smiled at her, but as soon as she left the room, her smile faded. Every step was unbearable. She forced herself to keep walking, placing one foot down and then the next. As she passed the door to the room they called the parlour, she saw Christian through the doors leading to the gardens. He had returned from riding and stood looking out at the river, his arms resting on the stonework, a brooding look on his handsome face. She pushed away from the wall and made her way to him. The pain suddenly became bearable when she was near him.
Christian smiled at her as she slipped out. “I see my mother has finally let you have a rest.”
She nodded shyly.
“You must be looking forward to your first ball.” She didn’t know how to answer. She looked down at her shoes. Christian stepped closer to her and gently raised her chin. “If you’re worried about the ball, you needn’t be. My mother will be there and Gaspard if he returns in time. I will make sure you’re not left on your own.”
He was so kind to her. Tears stung her eyes. She looked out at the river so that he wouldn
’t see them. “I’m not sure that I shall dance at the ball.”
He frowned.
“But why? You dance so beautifully.”
“
I --”
She couldn’t say it. The words stuck in her throat. She stood there helpless, unable to speak.
Christian moved closer still and took her hand in his. “If you don’t wish to dance then you don’t have to. But I would like to dance with you.”
She looked up at him. Christian wanted to dance with her. Her heart squeezed in her chest.
“Then I shall dance,” she said and was rewarded with a smile. He released her hand and she drifted back inside, letting the tears run freely down her cheeks.
In her room, she sank down on the bed. Taking a deep breath, she began to unwrap her feet. She peeled away the linen strips, trying not to gag at the smell. She prodded at the raw bloody lumps which had once been her toes. She tried to move them, but it hurt too much. Her entire foot looked like something she had seen hanging in a butcher
’s shop in the town; raw pink meat. The skin had long since peeled off, leaving spongy flesh that seeped blood and pus. She would dance with Christian at the ball, but it would be the last time she would ever dance. She feared it would be the last time she would ever walk. But she would do it, for Christian.
~~~~~
Tired and travel stained, Gaspard swung down from his horse and had to cling to the saddle as his knees threatened to give way. He was getting too old for this. Instead of stopping for the night to rest, he had ridden hard to get back to the castle, eager to see Marie and Christian again and to sleep in his own much more comfortable bed. His feet had scarcely touched the ground before Christian came out, his long strides quickly covering the distance between them.
“
I was worried you weren’t coming back.” He surprised Gaspard by embracing him. “Mother has missed you,” Christian said as he pulled away.
It seemed she wasn’t the only one who had missed him. “
And I have missed you both.”
“
What did you find out?” Christian asked “You’ve sent no word.”
“
That is because I had no word to send. I found no trace of Adrianna. I fear she must be dead.”
“
I’m sorry.” Christian looked around and then lowered his voice. “And what of Lorelei?”
“
Nothing. There are no missing princesses. No ships went down in the days before she appeared. Before she was in the river, it’s as if she didn’t exist.”
“
The ship might not have sunk. She could have fallen overboard.”
“
I did hear one story.”
“
What about?”
“
You wouldn’t believe me.”
Marie came out, her hand outstretched, a smile on her face. He bowed to her and took the hand she offered and raised it to his lips.
“I’m glad you’re back,” she said, squeezing his hand tight for a moment. Her eyes, which were the same intense blue as Christian’s, told him she meant it. “We were just about to sit down to dinner. I will have the servants lay out another place.”
Lorelei stood behind her in the shadows of the castle, watching the reunion, her beautiful face showing nothing.
“Mademoiselle, you are still with us then,” he said, addressing her.
“
Yes.” She seemed wary of him.
“
Your memory has still not returned?”
“
No.”
“
I’m sorry. I hoped I might have been able to help you. I made enquires while I was away, but I found nothing. Do you remember anything at all? The name of the ship you were on. Or perhaps you were not in a ship. Perhaps you were in a carriage and fell into the river?”
“
I only remember being in the river and then coming here.”
“
Of course. I’m sorry to upset you.”
He went up to his bedroom to wash away the dust and dirt from his journey and quickly change his clothes. Coming down, he found the others already seated in the great hall. He took the remaining seat across from Lorelei.
“Mother was worried you wouldn’t be back in time for the ball,” Christian said as the footmen began to bring out the first course.
“
I wouldn’t miss it,” Gaspard said, raising his glass of wine in a salute as he drank. “Especially, when I know how much you are looking forward to it.”
Christian shot him a dark look and Gaspard smiled.
“I’ve been teaching Lorelei how to dance,” Marie said.
“
Do you enjoy dancing, mademoiselle?” he asked.
Lorelei looked up. She seemed different from when he had last seen her. Her violet eyes, which had once made him think of wildflowers, now reminded him of bruises.
“I don’t think I shall dance again after the ball,” she said carefully.
“
She dances beautifully,” Marie said, smiling, but there seemed to be a hidden meaning to Lorelei’s words that made Gaspard feel troubled.
When they rose from the table, he saw the slightest expression cross Lorelei
’s face, almost as if she was in pain. Christian didn’t seem to notice, but then he didn’t watch Lorelei the way she watched him.
After dinner, they retired to the drawing room. Lorelei sat on the footstool at Christian
’s feet like an attentive puppy. The way she looked at Christian and no one else troubled Gaspard. But while her whole focus was on Christian, Christian seemed preoccupied with his own thoughts. She seemed to think so much of him, and yet unless spoken to directly, he made no effort to speak to her.
Later that evening, after Christian and Lorelei had both retired for the night, Gaspard stood by the fire.
“She loves him,” he said as Marie drew the doors to the drawing room shut.
Marie sighed and came to sit in a chair.
“Yes, she loves him. It’s so clear to everyone but Christian. I know I wanted them to be together, but it seems unhealthy the way she follows him.”
“
Has she truly not remembered anything about who she is?”
“
Nothing, or so she says.”
He turned to face her. “Y
ou think she could be lying?”
Marie hesitated before she spoke.
“I don’t like to think that she could be deceiving us, but I keep wondering how she survived in the river. And where did she come from? It has occurred to me that perhaps she was never in the river; perhaps she never lost her memory. She pretended in order to come here so she could be near Christian. I don’t like to even think such a thing.”
The same thought had occurred to him. “
What will you do about her and Christian?”
“
I will speak with Christian and find out where his heart lies. If he doesn’t care for her, it would be better to tell her now. But I think it’s already too late. If he doesn’t love her…” She trailed off and shook her head. “I fear it will not end well.”
He feared it would not end well either.
~~~~~
Preparations for the ball were underway. Invitations had been sent out to all the prominent families in Europe. Many had declined, unable to attend due to the war, but they couldn
’t risk causing offence by not inviting them. A small army of servants, their numbers bolstered by the extra they had hired from the town for the event, scurried through the castle, cleaning, polishing the silver and readying the rooms for the guests that would be arriving shortly. They quickly moved aside for Christian as he strode through the castle, lowering their gaze and bobbing a curtsy.
In the breakfast room, which he found empty except for a footman, he poured himself a cup of coffee and took it outside, through the doors leading out onto the parapets, eager to get out of the servants way. In the distance, he could see carriages starting to wind their way up to the castle. He rested his elbows on the stonework as he waited for the coffee to cool. He sighed and rubbed his temples. He had slept badly again. He still had nightmares about the time he had nearly drowned after falling into the river, but they seemed to come regularly these last few days. He was lost in the water again, unable to breathe, darkness closing over his head.
Sensing someone approach behind him, he tensed, expecting it to be Lorelei, but it was his mother who came to stand beside him. He was relieved it wasn’t Lorelei. He couldn’t pretend today not to be troubled.
“
I thought I would find you out here,” his mother said.
“
I couldn’t think inside,” he replied. “I needed to get some air.”
“
I wanted to speak to you before the guests arrived.”
“
You needn’t worry. I might have been against the ball, but I won’t leave you alone to deal with the guests. I will do my duty.”
“I know you will.
You’re a good son, Christian. Your father would have been proud of the man that you’ve become.” She took a deep breath. “There’s something I have to ask you.”
“Whatever it is you know you can ask me.” It was unusual for his mother to be afraid to speak to him about something.
“I wanted to talk to you about Lorelei. I want to know if you care for her.”
“
Of course I care for her.”
“
That’s not what I meant. Do you love her?”
The question took him by surprise. “
Why are you asking?”
“I think that she might care for you.
I’ve noticed the way she looks at you. Gaspard has noticed it as well. We’re concerned that her feelings for you might be far more than your own.”
He considered it for a moment before he shook his head. “No. I don’t love her. I care for her, as I would a sister or a cousin, but I don’t love her.” He had never been in love, but he imagined it would be different.
“I thought as much.”
“
I know that you hoped we might make a match.”
“
I just wanted to keep you here, to keep you safe. I know that you’ve been lonely at the castle by yourself.”
“
Perhaps I should have kept my distance. I never meant to give her the impression that I might have feelings for her.” He sighed. “If we were at court she would have received a dozen marriage proposals by now.”
“
But you never cared for the girls at court.” She placed her hand over his where it rested on the stone balustrade. “It was meant to be so different. You were supposed to go to court and meet someone. But your father died, and there was a war and everything is not how it should be.” She took a steadying breath to compose herself.