Authors: Gemma Holden
“What should I do?” he asked quietly.
“You will have to speak to her.”
“
I’ll do it after the ball.” He met his mother’s eyes. “I don’t want to hurt her. She’s been through so much.”
She squeezed his hand.
“It’s better to tell her how you feel then to let her continue to have hope when there is none. But be gentle with her, Christian. I fear this will destroy her.”
Chapter Fourteen
Lorelei sat at her window in the bedroom of her oddly shaped room, her feet propped up on a cushioned stool as she watched the carriages arriving for the ball tomorrow. All day they had been arriving in a steady stream. The castle was packed with people, the guests having each brought their own servants with them. Lorelei had taken to staying in her room out of the way where at least she could rest her feet. The guests appeared to be mainly young girls with their mothers. Christian came out with his mother to greet them as they arrived. He bowed low to them while they curtsied. It worried her seeing
Christian with all these girls. Adrianna’s words came back to her that the prince might not love her.
Hesitantly, she ventured out of her room. Maids rushed past with armfuls of linen, while male servants struggled to get huge trunks up the staircase. They stepped aside as she made her way down the stairs, their backs going rigid and schooled expressions masking their faces, but as soon as she passed they went back to work.
Lorelei paused at the bottom of the staircase. A group of three young women walked past. They stopped when they saw Lorelei, their eyes lingering on her hair. Distaste curled their lips and they whispered to one another and exchanged glances. Lorelei put her hand up to her hair which she wore loose as usual. The heavy golden mass reached past her waist. The girls all wore their hair neatly pinned up in tight braids, with not even a tendril escaping. Lorelei backed away from them and their hostile faces and then turned and fled up the corridor. She ran along the passageway, plunging further into the castle. She took the nearest door that led outside and stumbled to a stop.
Hanna and a footman were locked in an
embrace. Their lips were pressed together, their hands roaming over each other and fumbling with each other’s clothes. Lorelei watched them curiously. The footman opened his eyes and saw her. His eyes widened in alarm and he pulled away from Hanna.
“Lorelei,” Hanna said, hurriedly smoothing down her dress. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breath
less. “What are you doing out here?” The footman straightened his gloves and, after a worried look at Hanna, went back inside.
“What were you doing?” Lorelei asked. She had seen such embraces before from the river.
“We were kissing.”
“Kissing.” She was unfamiliar with the word. Lorelei smiled at the girl who seemed pale and anxious. “Kissing means he loves you.”
Hanna nodded slowly. “Yes, only please don’t tell anyone. We would get into trouble if Her Highness found out.”
“I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”
The maid still looked worried. “I have to get back to the kitchen. I will see you tonight when I bring your dinner up to you.”
Hanna
straightened her cap and retied her apron and went back inside. Lorelei pressed the back of her hand to her lips. She understood now. Christian had to kiss her and then she would know that he loved her. But, there wasn’t much time left. Her feet were becoming worse and worse. The pain was constant now. She had almost forgotten what it was like not to be in pain. She had to get him to kiss her and soon.
She spent the rest of the day watching Christian with the other girls, waiting for a chance to speak with him alone, but there were so many of them. They crowded around him, chatting and giggling. The older women and male guests stayed with Her Highness in the drawing room playing cards, but the younger girls followed Christian around like a shoa
l of brightly coloured fish. Lorelei followed soundlessly after him, trailing him like a wraith
She was following Christian, who was with two young women, when suddenly they turned around and began walking back the way they had come. She quickly hid behind a tapestry, but they had already seen her.
“What is she doing behind there?” one of the girls asked, laughter filling her voice.
“Would you excuse me?” Christian said. His voice sounded clipped and formal.
“Of course.”
She heard their footsteps retreating. “Lorelei,” Christian said gently. “They’re gone. You can come out now.” He was stood right by her. Feeling self-conscious and with no other way to escape, she slipped out.
The girls had stopped at the end of the hallway, their smiles hidden behind their hands as they furtively whispered to each other. Christian took her arm and drew her protectively to his side.
“Let me see you back to your room.” He put his hand under her arm and gently guided her away. “
I’m sorry,” he said once they were out of sight. “They shouldn’t have spoken about you like that. I’m afraid it’s the price of being at court. Women can be especially unkind.”
She didn
’t care what they had said; all that mattered was that Christian was speaking to her.
“Are you
going to marry one of them?” she asked.
He smiled. It was the first genuine smile she had seen from him since the guests had arrived. “
No. I agreed to the ball, but nothing else. After tomorrow they will leave.”
They stopped outside her bedroom. “And then it will be just the two of us again.”
“Yes,” Christian said, but he looked away, not meeting her eyes. “I have to go and get dressed for dinner. I will see you at the ball tomorrow.”
Lorelei could hear the guests downstairs as they dined, the sound of their chatter and laughter drifting up through her window. For the first time, she felt as if she didn
’t belong here. It was like she was in the river again, watching from a distance. Even though she was near, she felt far away. She opened the window and closed her eyes and imagined she was back in the river. She missed the river so much she ached for it. But her future was here now, with Christian. She would never go back there. Christian was hers. She alone loved him.
Hanna knocked on the door and came in with a tray of food.
“You would never believe some of those girls,” Hanna said as she set the tray down on the dressing table and then sat down on the end of Lorelei’s bed. “They’re all so desperate to get the prince to notice them.”
“
Why do they care if the prince notices them?” Lorelei asked, leaving the window.
“
They’re hoping he might marry one of them of course.”
She felt like someone had struck her. “
Christian is going to marry one of them?” she managed to ask.
“That’s why the princess threw him the ball, so that he could find a wife
.”
If he needed to marry, he could marry her.
“Does he love one of them?”
“I don’t know. But, h
e’s a prince. They don’t marry for love. They marry for land or money.”
Did that mean that even though Christian loved her he might have to marry someone else?
“Aren’t you going to eat your dinner?” Hanna asked.
“I’m not hungry. You can take it away.”
“Do you want me to help you get ready for bed?”
“I can manage,” Lorelei said.
The maid didn’t try and press her. At first when Lorelei had started to refuse her help, Hanna had tried to insist, but she had become used to Lorelei’s strange ways now. Lorelei wouldn’t let her attend her in the bath either; she couldn’t risk letting the girl see her feet.
Hanna gathered up the dinner tray and left. Lorelei waited until she had gone and then undid the buttons and stepped out of her dress. She pulled the nightdress over her head and climbed into bed, her shoes still on. She had taken to sleeping in her shoes these last few nights. She didn’t think she would be able to squeeze her feet back into them again once she took them off; they were too swollen and misshapen.
There wasn’t much time left now before her feet would be completely ruined. Christian had to kiss her at the ball tomorrow night.
~~~~~
That evening at dinner, Christian wasn’t surprised when the conversation turned to Lorelei. He had been waiting for the guests to start asking questions about her, having heard their comments and whispers when they thought they spoke too softly for him to hear. To them her behaviour was shocking, the way she wore her hair loose a cause for scandal and gossip. He was tired of hearing their criticism and scorn. He couldn’t wait for the ball to be over and for the guests to leave.
Annegret, who had been with them that afternoon when they had come across Lorelei, sat next to him, her arm brushing his at every opportunity. Her black hair was curled into ringlets and held back from her face with a jewelled tiara. He knew his mother would approve of a match between them, but he’d kept his distance from her since he’d heard her laughing at Lorelei.
“We’ve all been wondering, Your Highness, about the girl who was hiding behind the tapestry this afternoon,” she said, her fingers lingering on his arm. “We’ve all seen her spying on us from her window. Who is she?”
He was aware of a hushed silence falling over the table as the other guests waited to hear his answer.
“She’s a guest of my family’s,” Christian said, hoping she would drop the subject.
“Has she been staying here long?” She smiled, but he could see the calculation in her dark eyes.
“Not long. A few weeks.”
“She’
s a distant cousin through my mother’s side,” Christian’s mother said, speaking up from where she sat further down the table. “She’s been staying with us because of the war.”
“How kind of you to take her in,” Annegret said.
Gaspard skillfully changed the subject and the other guests took the hint and no one mentioned Lorelei again. Christian was grateful to him. The ball had been a mistake. He should have known the guests would wonder about Lorelei.
After dinner, some of the ladies decided they couldn
’t wait until the ball tomorrow night to dance and they began pushing back the furniture to clear some room. With the guests occupied, Christian slipped outside into the gardens, relieved to be able to escape for a few minutes. He had scarcely had a second to himself these last few days.
“I see I’m not the only one needing some air,” Gaspard said, coming to stand beside him.
“Remind me why I agreed to this again?” Christian said.
“If I remember correctly, you didn’t.”
They stood looking out at the night, both content in the silence. A smattering of stars stretched across the inky black sky. He could name them all. For centuries they had guided sailors, showing them the way. He wished they would show him the way. Now that he was away from the guests, he felt foolish. In Europe wars were being fought, men were dying and here he was hiding from a group of women.
“I should never have let mother go ahead with the ball.” He should have known how the other girls would treat Lorelei. He had seen it before at dozens of other balls.
“It’
s too late for that now. After tomorrow they will be gone.”
“
I wanted to ask you something.” Christian turned to Gaspard. “Tomorrow at the ball, I want you to look after Lorelei. I won’t always be with her. I have to dance with everyone and I don’t want her to be left standing on her own.”
“
I’ve heard some of the comments the other girls have made about her. They can be cruel.” Gaspard clapped him on the back. “Don’t worry, my friend. I won’t leave her side.”
“
Thank you.”
“Has
your mother spoken to you about Lorelei?” Gaspard asked.
“
Yes. I’m going to speak to her after the ball. I still don’t know what I’m going to say.”
“You can only be honest with her about how you feel. Although
I don’t think there’s anything you can say that won’t break her heart.”
Gaspard squeezed his shoulder and left him to go back inside.
At first, Christian had found it hard to believe that Lorelei was in love with him. But every time he turned around, she was there. Before he hadn’t given any thought to it. He’d just assumed she was lonely and wanted some company. She was like a sparrow the way she flitted about, hiding behind the furniture. But now, he could see it wasn’t normal.
For a moment, he considered it. He needed to marry eventually, so why not marry Lorelei? He was not naïve; few of his rank married for love. There were other things to consider like wealth and alliance. He could keep her safe. He could protect her from the gossip and rumours. But she didn
’t belong here. These last few days had shown him that. She would be torn to pieces at court. He just had to hope that Lorelei understood and didn’t take it too badly when he told her.