The Road to Mercy (34 page)

“I have no excuse, except that I let my life get out of control. I know you don’t care about the details, but I owe them to you.” He averted his gaze again. “Or, maybe . . . I just need to get them out.”

“Okay,” Josh said.

“My wife left me. It had been coming for a while. In some ways I don’t blame her. Perhaps I left her a long time ago. Got too big for my britches, as my dad would say.” He paused to reflect, and then continued. “In some ways, she did too. Our success happened quickly. We moved into the big house, bought the expensive furniture, and became addicted to the high life. We were both grasping at things that didn’t matter and ignoring the things that did.”

Josh’s heart softened to Ryan. It was a story that could very well have been his own.

“Lacy was lonely with my being gone all the time. To compensate for that, she wanted more things. More club memberships. More clothes. Things to occupy her time. I was afraid of losing her, because I do love her.” Ryan looked into Josh’s eyes again. “And I did the only thing I knew to do. I know it was wrong. I knew it was wrong at the time. But I thought I would pay you back.”

“May I speak now?”

“Yes. I just want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry . . .” Ryan looked away.

“You accused an innocent man,” Josh said. “That’s the worst thing you could have done.”

“I know,” Ryan nodded.

“The money can be paid back, but a man’s reputation can never be repaired.”

“I will apologize to Danny after he gets through this.” Tears ran down Ryan’s face.

“What if he doesn’t?”

“I don’t know how I will live with myself.” Ryan wiped his face with his sleeve.

“As for the stealing, you know I have to—should—turn you in to the authorities.”

“I fully expect that.” Ryan stiffened. His lithe frame looked like he could break in two at any minute.

“But I won’t.”

A look of surprise crossed Ryan’s face.

“Not if you repay the money.”

“Thank you—”

“Let me finish. I heard you out,” Josh said. “God has taught me a lot in the past few months. And I had a lot to learn.” He cleared his throat, fighting back emotions. “If he’s taught me anything, it’s that mercy and forgiveness trump everything.”

Ryan nodded.

“My faith has sometimes been weak. But God has given me mercy so that I might have faith.” He looked into Ryan’s eyes. “And that I might show mercy.”

“I’ll pay you back soon.”

“Do you still have my accountant’s number?”

“Yes.”

“Please work it out with him.”

“Thank you,” Ryan nodded. “I’ll set up the payments—with interest—after I find another job.”

Josh studied him, trying to determine if Ryan was, indeed, sincere. “You have a job. With me.”

“What?”

“You’re still my guitar player. You’re the best in the business.”

“I didn’t expect—”

“But I’m going to have to discharge you as my road manager,” Josh said. “That’s a pay cut, you understand.”

“Yes . . . I do. Certainly. I can’t expect you to trust me.”

“It’s too much for one man to handle,” Josh said.

“I’ll pay you back, Josh. One way or the other. I have my house up for sale. I promise, you’ll get the money.”

“I believe you will.” Josh offered Ryan his hand. “We’ll work it out. But I have to ask you one thing.”

“Yes?” Fear crossed Ryan’s face.

“Did you set Danny up before the wreck?”

Ryan looked away momentarily, and then back to Josh. “You found the money? The twenty thousand?”

“Yes.”

“I guess that’s a good thing, huh? I mean, that’s a start on what I owe you.”

“Yes, it is.” Josh laid a hand on Ryan’s shoulder.

“Thank you.”

“Okay. Get that arm healed up, man. I need to get back to Beth and Mr. Stevens.” Josh motioned toward the waiting room. “I hope you can work things out with your wife.”

“Me too,” Ryan said, smoothing his shirt. “Can I ask you one more thing?”

“Sure.”

“Will you pray for me?”

“Of course.”

Back in the waiting room Josh stood watching Beth sleep. Jim Stevens had also dozed off. Ryan’s confession was almost too much to take in. An unexpected end to a bad situation. A nightmare that had been resolved.

Now . . . if only Danny would make it through surgery.

“Would a member of the Danny Stevens family, please come to the phone?” The attendant announced over the loudspeaker.

Jim Stevens awoke, startled. “Was that for me?”

“Yes.” Josh took a deep gulp of air.

Jim Stevens rose quickly from his seat and rushed to the reception desk. Josh awakened Beth and whispered that the call had come.

From his chair, he watched Jim Stevens pick up the phone and identify himself. He could only see Mr. Steven’s face from a distance of several yards. At first, his expression was stiff. He listened and didn’t speak. A few minutes later, his shoulders shook, as if he were having a seizure. Then the old man began to sob.

Josh’s heart climbed to his throat.
Oh, no. The worst has happened
.

He stood up and met Jim Stevens halfway back to their seats. A big smile crossed his face as he approached.

“He made it,” the old man said. “He made it.”

Josh grabbed Danny’s father by the shoulders and hugged him. Then Beth hugged both of them.

“What did they say?” She asked, brushing back tears.

“Dr. Abrams said it was the most difficult surgery he had ever performed. He said Danny’s situation was worse than he had expected once he got inside, but that everything went perfectly.” Jim Stevens shook his head. “He said he felt like he had divine assistance with this one. That he couldn’t take the credit.”

“That’s what he said?” Beth’s eyes filled with tears.

Jim Stevens took a long breath. “Yes. And he said he thinks Danny will recover completely.”

When Josh visited Danny in his hospital room six days later, he couldn’t believe how much progress his friend had made in such a short time.

“You look great, man.”

“The good news is I feel better than I look,” Danny laughed. “Ouch!” A pained grin spread across his face. “It still hurts to move my head.”

“It’ll take a while, but you’re almost over the hill.”

Danny gave him a confused look. “What do you mean? I don’t think thirty-five is so old.”

Josh chuckled. “That’s not what I meant. Don’t you remember what you told me on the road awhile back? That we sometimes have to see with faith and not worry about what’s over the next hill?”

“I remember,” Danny nodded, slowly this time. “I can tell you for sure, I’m ready to coast for a while.” A grin spread across his face.

“So when can you go home?”

“Not until next week,” Danny’s smile faded. “I can’t wait to get back on the road and drive that new Van Hool you’ve got on order.”

Josh stared at him, not sure how to break the news. “You mean you were planning to drive again?” He took a deep breath to deliver the bad news. “I’ve already hired a new driver.”

“You have?”

Josh watched Danny’s eyebrows knit together. “It’s because of the wreck, isn’t it? It wasn’t my fault . . .” Danny looked sullen.

“It wasn’t your fault. In fact, from what I’ve heard, you probably saved our lives.” Josh shook his head. “I just think you’ll be too busy to drive.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m hoping you’ll agree to be my new road manager.”

“Really? You want me?” He poked at his chest. “To be your road manager?”

Josh could see the excitement in his friend’s eyes.

After thinking about it, he frowned. “Are you asking me because you don’t trust me to drive?”

“No, I’m asking you because I trust you completely.”

Danny had no idea about the things that had happened between Josh and Ryan, including the stolen money Josh had found under Danny’s mattress.

“So what’s Ryan going to do?”

“Play guitar.”

“You mean . . . I’ll be his boss?” A sly grin emerged with Danny’s full understanding.

“Yes. Payback is—”

“Oh, son, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you had company. I’ll come back later.” Jim Stevens turned to leave just as he entered the hospital room.

“Please don’t, Mr. Stevens. I was on my way out the door.” Josh nodded to the chair beside the bed. “Please have a seat.”

“How is everything with you, young man?” The elder Stevens offered his hand to Josh. “Has your wife had her baby yet?”

“No, sir. She’s not due for a few weeks.”

“Please give her my regards. She’s a sweet young woman. Pretty, too.” He winked.

“Thank you. I’m on my way home right now. She’s cleaning the house. Nesting I think it’s called.” Josh chuckled.

“Josh and his wife have been through a lot,” Danny told his dad.

“We all have,” Josh said. An old thundercloud of fear hovered around him when he thought about the last obstacle in the road they were traveling. “Now, if Beth can just deliver a healthy baby.”

“We’ll be praying for you,” Jim Stevens said. “Don’t you doubt that. In fact, my entire church is praying.”

“One more hill,” Danny added.

Josh smiled and nodded.

He had one more hill. But God hadn’t brought him this far for him to give up now
.

Beth had been contemplating her decision for weeks. Today she would finally do something about it. After Josh left for the hospital, she settled into the rocking chair in the nursery and dialed the phone.

Pamela Morris answered on the second ring.

Beth took a deep breath before introducing herself. “Mrs. Morris, it’s Bethany Harrison. I met you at Nell Stevens’s funeral.”

“Yes, of course, I remember you, young lady. Have you had your baby yet?”

“No, ma’am. I’m due next month. I’m a bit nervous, I must say.”

“Don’t worry, my dear. I had four of them. You’ll forget the pain quickly, but you’ll always remember the first time you hold them. They’re a blessing.”

“That’s why I’m calling you.” Beth bit her upper lip, uncertain of how much she wanted to relate. “I’ve thought a lot about our conversation last fall and, after I have the baby, I would like to volunteer with your group. Do you have a need for office help? I’m a bookkeeper’s assistant.”

“Why, yes. That would be lovely. May I ask why you feel so strongly about our group?”

Beth gathered her thoughts. “I want to do it in Nell Stevens’s memory. Not that I could ever replace her, but as a tribute to what she tried to do in my life.”

“I seem to remember you said you hadn’t met her,” the older lady said.

“I didn’t think I had at the time you and I spoke. But I realized later, after thinking about it, that I may have.”

“Really? How did you know her, honey?”

“I believe she was the woman in front of the abortion clinic who tried to counsel me before I had my abortion many years ago.”

Beth set out to clean and organize the baby’s room with renewed vigor. For the first time in years, she felt truly free. Things had come full circle, and she was moving beyond the guilt and denial that had haunted the last decade of her life. She would now be able to help others make an informed decision when they had an impossible choice.

Of course, they would have to choose for themselves, just as she had done. But, if she had been more aware of the facts—including the lingering emotional and physical side effects of an abortion—she would have chosen differently. No doubt about that.

She wanted other women to have those facts before they decided. To understand the implications of what they were about to do and to know they had options. She wanted to assure them they were not alone.

Volunteering wouldn’t change her past. But it would help her stay focused on the present, where God wanted her to be.

In that present, she was now busy preparing the house for her baby’s arrival. There was so much to do in the three remaining weeks of her pregnancy she could keep herself occupied night and day. Thankfully, Josh was home to remind her not to wear herself out.

She sang a favorite childhood lullaby while she folded and stored linens, dusted furniture, and made notes in her pregnancy journal. When she glanced at the clock, it was twelve thirty. Past time for lunch by the baby’s schedule.