Authors: Rachel Higginson
“Shut up!” Eva gasped. “Nix wants you? Like he wants to take you?”
I blushed a deep, revealing red and stared intently at the flower pattern on the ivory China. “Uh, yeah.”
“When?” Ana demanded.
“After I graduate,” I whispered.
There was silence at the table then as we all absorbed this information. A pain shot out from my chest and pierced every piece of me. I recognized the feeling as debilitating fear, the kind of fear you couldn’t pretend didn’t exist or ignore or runaway from. This fear reared up and made itself known, promised more and never, ever let go.
Tinkling, forced laughter came from the hallway and as if on cue we all sat up straighter and put hands to our hair to make sure it was in place. Our mothers entered the room as one unit, smiling and beaming at each other. Their cold gazes assessed us at the table like they were robots sharing the same brain. When they finally decided everything was as it should be they joined as at the table, sitting together at one end so they could continue their business.
Dinner was served as soon as they sat down. A hired team of caterers brought out cold soup and small bread platters that went untouched. I never understood why so much food was ordered for these events, when these women barely ate any of it. Even I knew better than to snatch a dinner roll even though I had been eyeing one for the last twenty minutes.
During soup the conversation was mostly lulled to topics like the weather for traveling, winter break destinations and new purchases. The salad course was next and discussion deepened to subjects like education beliefs and local elections, which was mostly important for how the courts ruled over Honor and my mother. The third course, prime rib cut into tiny little strips and served over a creamy risotto intensified the dialog further and we began to discuss the politics of our circle.
“So, Ava,” Thalia began, “Nix is planning to stay in town for a while, is that right?”
Echo jumped in, “I heard that too. It has something to do with Ivy, doesn’t it?”
“Nix wants her,” my mother answered proudly. Her eyes lit up for the first time all night, and a real smile played at the corner of her lips. “He’s asked her to join him after graduation.”
All other conversation stopped at this point and we all turned to my mother. Anaxandra, who happened to be sitting next to me, put a hand on mine under the table to reassure me. This surprised me more than my mother’s forwardness. I thought Ana was completely converted to the dark side, but maybe not.
“And she agreed of course?” Thalia’s cool gaze pinned me to my chair, daring me to deny anything. The wicked queen to her daughter’s Snow White looks, she had all the beauty Evaleen and Sloane did except she was aging and she knew it. The wrinkles in her laugh line and looser skin had turned her cruel and greedy.
“He hasn’t asked me formally, yet,” I clarified even though I knew it would cost my mother. “He just mentioned it at dinner once.” I tore my eyes from Thalia’s triumphant stare and noticed the sky had gone completely dark outside. We had been here for hours and there were still hours to get through yet.
“He intends to take her,” my mother spelled out with force. “We’ve had several conversations about her.”
“Won’t that leave you without a legacy?” Echo asked and the note of laughter rang out in the room. These women were so catty; I could feel the few bites I allowed myself for dinner threaten to reappear.
“I have Honor,” Ava returned serenely.
“And if Smith always keeps her? If she is never allowed out of that house?” Thalia scoffed. “What then?”
“Honor will be my legacy; there is no question about that. Nix wants Ivy enough that he will make sure I get Honor,” Ava promised self-confidently.
A jolting shiver washed down my back and I was sure I would be sick for a few moments. Eventually the racking nausea slowed and I looked up in time to watch my mother smirk at her supposed best friends. “Honor will never go with you,” I spat in a hushed tone before I even registered the words were being said.
Oops.
My mother’s scathing glare swept towards me and I summoned every ounce of courage I possessed to sit up straight and stare her in the eyes. A collective intake of breath could be heard around the room and then everything was silent while my mother’s rage grew until I could feel it pouring off her in waves.
“What a strong spirit you have, Ivy,” Thalia broke the charged silence with the backhanded compliment. “No wonder Nix wants to add you to his collection.”
Strangled laughter erupted in Ava and her restrained fury turned her eyes wild. “My daughter? Strong spirit?” more crazed laughter. “You forget that this is the same child that needed to be sent away after her breakup. One broken heart and she’s a mental case! Nix is saving us all from the disaster she brings with her. She is a tragedy waiting to happen. No, Ivy has always been too weak for this world, too
weak
for anything of worth.”
“Weak?” I choked on the word; it felt vile and repulsive in my mouth. I had survived this long, made it this far with
her
and with
him
and she was calling me weak! I felt the presence enter the room behind me and pause in the doorway, but I was too emotionally involved to stop myself now. “No, not weak. I have a
soul
. That may be a weakness to you, but it is not to me. I have common decency, some f-ing standards and you call that weak! Of course I don’t fit in; I’m trying to be a
good person
, to be
better
than this life you force me to live.”
I jumped at the sound of the next voice, even though instinct warned me he would be there.
“It’s not about being a good person, Ivy,” Nix calmly soothed from behind me. I felt his voice grow more placating as he walked into the dining room. Every head swiveled around with mouth agape to stare at him. He was picture perfect in his pressed suit and shiny shoes, but his tie was absent and the top button of his white oxford was undone. He fiddled with one of his cufflinks and then continued, “You should be concerned about my expectations for you, my desire for you. You’re mother’s right, the rest is weakness, not anything else. And definitely a waste of time.”
“What isn’t a waste of time, Nix?” I asked with more contempt than I felt. Not that I didn’t feel hatred but it was being severely overshadowed by fear at the moment.
“Money, Ivy. Money is never a waste of time.” His hands rested on the top of my high-back chair and I straightened out my spine just to keep from shrinking beneath his powerful presence.
“Oh, that’s right. Because money makes the world go round, right Nix?” I held his gaze bravely. As desperately as I wanted to look away from his dark, relentless eyes I wouldn’t allow myself to show the weakness they accused me of.
Nix’s smooth, solid façade cracked at my words, anger flashed in his expression and I felt his grip tighten against the chair all the way down to my toes.
“No, Ivy,” he barked out at me. “I make the world go round.
Me
! And it would behoove you not to forget that.” He reigned in his temper and smoothed out his features and it was like a tornado had been destroying the room around me and then suddenly sucked through a window. The calm after the storm was as eerie and deadly as the storm itself and I shuddered despite my resolve not to show fear. “Eva, call a cab for Ivy. I want her out of my sight for now.”
With that last command he turned his back on me and stalked from the room. The entire room stayed still even with his absence until Eva finally reached for her cell phone and followed his orders. I had been banished for the rest of the evening. And even though a pit of absolute terror started to grow in my stomach and spread roots to my heart and lungs, I was thankful to be excused from this gathering. If I continued to misbehave like this I knew I would have to face discipline, but I couldn’t stop myself.
I just didn’t want to know what that meant for me.
Chapter Thirty-Two
This time the ride to visit Honor was more tense than normal. My mother hadn’t talked to me since last night at Sloane’s, except to tell me when she was leaving for Honor’s. She hadn’t left it an option to decline, but I didn’t plan on it anyways.
We pulled up to Honor’s and went through the same routine as always. She walked with me to the front door and raised her hand to knock, except at the last minute she pulled back.
“Ivy, I’m not mad at you for last night,” she allowed calmly. “Regardless of how you feel right now, you need to know that I am not your enemy. I am your ally. I have your best interest in mind. If you don’t want to go to Nix, I’m trying to understand that, but then you and I need to work together. Alright?”
I thought over her words for a moment, not really accepting them, but knowing I needed to appear to. She was right in that if worse came to worst she was my only supporter in staying away from Nix.
“Alright, mom,” I conceded. “I’m sorry for my behavior last night and recently. I just, what happened with Sam scared me. And I’m over it now, I
really am
,” I lied, “But I guess I’m a little…. I don’t know, like gun shy or something. Ok? I’ll try to be better though, I promise.”
“Oh sweetheart, I understand,” she cooed and then drew me into a stiff hug before I could wiggle away from her. “I know you’ll try harder. I know you won’t embarrass me again.”
She gave me an air kiss while I kind of stood there stunned. Eventually she let go of me and turned her attention back to the door. She pressed the doorbell with a long French nail and then waited tranquilly for Smith or one of his assistants to open the door.
It was the assistant this week, a twenty-something woman probably straight out of MBA school. They all clamored to work with Smith, to learn from the master of business. But Smith would only let women work for him. Not because he was some pervy womanizer, but solely to protect his life and Honor. He would never trust a man in his house.
The assistant didn’t say anything to us, just moved out of the way and allowed us to enter. She silently turned on her one inch practical pump and led the way down the hall. Smith’s assistants were generally all the same. Not that he had a type, but mainly because he required a dress code. Hair pulled back tight, pant suit or skirt suit and low heels. They all looked like uniformed flight attendants from the fifties, but I kept my opinion to myself.
In the sitting room, we were alone for a few minutes. My mother made herself at home, flinging herself onto one of the couches and crossing her legs impatiently. I paced around the room nervously. I felt itchy in my skin after the makeup session with my mom outside and anxious for her sudden compulsion to forgive and forget. Was she putting on a show for Smith’s benefit or was this something more sinister? Was Nix doling out the punishment so she felt like she could let go? Or was this really a gesture of maternal instinct, possibly her first one ever?
“Ivy!” Honor squealed from the doorway. She bounded across the space between us and threw herself into my outstretched arms. Whatever nervous energy was there before disappeared with my sister so close and so happy to see me.
“Hey, little one,” I whispered into her hair. “How are you?”
“So good,” she exclaimed and then pulled back from me. She wrapped her long auburn hair around her hand a few times and then lifted it off her neck. She twisted around at the waist until finally I noticed the two blue sapphire studs in her ears.
“Oh my gosh! You got your ears pierced!” I screamed high and loud enough for any eleven year old to be proud of.
“I know!” She was so ecstatic, she dropped her hair and grabbed on to my forearms so we could dance around and shriek at each other.
Honor had wanted her ears pierced forever, for as long as she could talk. Mom pierced mine when I was a baby and so Honor grew up fascinated by the pretty things hanging from my ears. She started bugging Smith about it two years ago. He resisted for, well, since then but something must have happened between last week and this one to get him to cave.