The Scent of Lilac: An Arrow's Flight Novella (13 page)

           
My
disbelief clings to my sides. “You truly mean to do this?”

           
“Truly,”
Fallon nods. “We’ll found our own village if need be.”

“You could bring your mate,”
Bridget adds, a smile sliding into place on her pretty face. “And I’ll bring
Mark. We’ll need to populate, of course. It will be an adventure.”

           
I frown.
“This is not a game, Bridget. And how will you get him to leave the Pit?”

           
Her smile
fades. “I—I don’t know.”

           
“Have you
tried?”

           
“No.” She
falls silent, a worried crease forming across her brow.

           
“It isn’t
so easy.” I nod at her protruding belly, slightly bigger than my own. “And when
the baby is ready to come? What then?”

           
The
worried crease deepens. “I—” She looks at Blaer.

           
“I can
deliver the baby,” Blaer concludes. I peer at her, doubtful, until she raises
her chin defiantly. “I’ve done it before.”

I don’t believe her. “When?”

“I helped Meg deliver hers.”

           
The
shocking statement sends me tumbling backward in time. I see Meg’s pretty,
round face smiling at me from the past. The room blurs, the sounds of the
girls’ quiet breathing magnifies into a pounding cacophony between my ears.

           
“I admit,
it was a learning experience,” Blaer says with a shrug. “But it wasn’t so hard.
Meg had an easy time of it fortunately. In fact, compared to what happened
afterwards, it was the least painful experience of her life.”

           
My
insides tighten as a conversation I had with Kate permeates my memories. She
was certain there were others… other girls who felt as she did. Girls who were
too afraid to stand up and say so. It appears I’ve found them.

           
“I didn’t
know you and Meg… were close.”

           
Blaer
shrugs again. “We had a few conversations over the years. We developed a respect
for each other… and a kind of trust. We were a lot alike, I suppose.”

           
I nod
absently.

           
“Her
death…” Blaer’s voice fades. She tosses her eyes toward the others. “It kept me
quiet… until now.” She glances at Gina and back at me. “Only Bridget and Fallon
knew what I had done.”

           
A sudden
pang of envy throttles me, and I purse my lips. Meg was my friend. She shared personal
things with me including her feelings for her mate, and yet even I didn’t know
she was pregnant until Kate told me. I study Blaer closely.

           
“Why are
you speaking of it now?”

           
She
smiles, tucking a loose piece of her light, red hair behind her ear. “Kate made
me remember how it felt to follow my heart.”

           
Her face
lights with something like hope, and my own heart flutters.

           
“Did you
help Meg’s mate escape with her baby, then?” I whisper.

           
“Yes.”

           
“And you,
Mia.” Bridget tilts her head, questioning. “How did you get your mate to leave
his cage?”

           
“He left
on his own.” My voice is harsher than I intend, but after a moment, I relent.
“But before that, I did take him out. To the river.” When Bridget’s eyes
brighten, I quickly add, “He was resistant. It took time for him to trust me.”

           
“Then
I’ll start now,” she nods.

           
“You
don’t have much time,” I warn. “The locksmiths are working on the locks every
day.”

           
Bridget’s
frightened face sears me, and I look away. I become aware of
Chad
’s
leather token on my thumb, and I squeeze my fingers around it. All of this
traitorous talk has made me wary, and a sudden urge to get away from these
schemers consumes me. I stand, taking up the plate of food.

           
“I have
to go.”

           
Blaer
rises. “Are you with us, Mia?”

           
I shake
my head, anxiety prickling, and the word rushes from my throat. “No.”

           
Blaer
frowns. “So… you’re just going to keep him hidden for the rest of his life? You
will get caught.”

           
I bend,
picking up the other plate of food. “What I’ve done is already farther than I ever
meant to go.” A chill shudders my body. “I’m not built for wilderness life. I
had the chance to leave with Kate and Diana, and I didn’t take it. Why would I
leave with you?”

           
A look of
disappointment crosses all of their faces one by one. All except Gina, who
scowls.

           
“You
won’t leave because you’re a coward, Mia.”

           
I cringe,
but I meet her hard gaze without arguing. “I’m well aware.”

           
Kate
spent a majority of her time reminding me of how cowardly I was, sometimes
without saying a single word. Our friendship was riddled with her efforts to
convince me to try new things, ask questions, believe in something beyond this
life. At the time, it was exasperating. I simply wanted her to be compliant and
stay out of trouble. But Kate wouldn’t have it, and Mona’s punishments became
almost a daily routine. I shudder now at the memory.
 
       

           
“Will you
think about it?” Blaer’s hopeful expression makes me pause, both dishes balanced
in my hands. “We need you.”

           
“I—” I
toss a glance over the group. All of them carry the same hope in their
eyes—even Gina beneath her hard mask—and I hate the feeling that wrenches me.
Fallon tugs on the end of her light, brown braid, searching me out, but it is
Bridget who tears at my heart. Hands clasped in her lap, her eyes are rimmed
with tears, and one quickly escapes in a rush and scurries down her cheek. I
know exactly how she feels. The blood pumps through the vein in my neck, and I
swallow.

           
“I—I have
to go.” I repeat. Balancing one dish on top of the other, I swing open the door
and step out into the freshness of the night. Away from their leering, pleading
eyes, I release a trembling breath.

           
I wish I
hadn’t come here tonight.

 
see Kate in a dream. She walks away from me
down a narrow path. Her hair is unbraided, and the wind kicks up dust all
around her. My feet hurry to catch her, but with each step, she grows smaller.

           
“Kate!”

           
She tosses a glance over her
shoulder, but her eyes are unseeing. I wave my hands wildly.

           
“It’s me, Kate. Please wait! I’ve
changed my mind. I want to come with you!”

           
She turns away… and disappears.

           
I jolt
awake, tumble off the mat, and scramble to my feet.

           
“Kate?”

           
Silence
screams at me from the darkness. I breathe deep and move toward my wash basin.
The water is cool, and I splatter it against my cheeks to ward off the fear
that causes my skin to tingle.

           
Before my
meeting with Blaer, my nerves were already on edge. Now they seem to explode
throughout my body and send my heart pumping at full speed. And in the quiet of
the night, as the last wisps of the dream vanish, I begin to rethink what I’ve
done.

           
I release
a heavy sigh. I will be caught; I’ve no doubt. I can’t hide
Chad
forever, even if he were content to stay in that tiny cave for the rest of his
life. And is he?

           
And what
about me? Taking more than my share of food every day? Disappearing for hours
at a time when I’ve no need to leave the Village at all? Neglecting my chores? These
things call for suspicion. And
Tara
is watching me. I
know it.

           
I frown,
leaning the heels of my hands against the wash basin, my entire body trembling
as my thoughts tumble around. I should have been more forceful with
Chad
,
ordering him to return to the Pit. Perhaps it isn’t too late to remedy all of
this. He listens to me. I’ll make him see reason. See that it’s for his own
good, and more importantly that it will keep us both safe. I know he wants that.
I’ll assure him that he can endure Ash’s abuse for just a bit longer, just
until this baby is born. Then we can return to our former routine, and everything
will be as it once was.

           
I pull
nervously at the leather tie on my thumb and my heartstrings vibrate with a new
ache. Do I really want this, or is it only the unsettling dream that changes my
mind?
Chad
’s
crooked smile invades my thoughts, and I’m suddenly lost in his light, brown
eyes. The feel of his side pressed against mine as we lay together on the mat
is vivid in my memory. I miss all of it.

           
But the desperate
look on his face at the thought of another night with Ash invades, and I feel
every ounce of his anguish.

           
I ease a
shaky breath from my lungs, indecisive once again.

*

           
I’m nearly
caught the very next day. When I don’t show up for the laundry, my assigned
chore for the week,
Tara
sends two guards for me. I
thought I was being careful, waiting until all the other women had cleared out of
their hogans. I stepped out of my own hogan, food hidden in a blanket tied like
a satchel. I was certain I would be back before
noon
—before
anyone had to know I was gone.

That may have worked when I was
still required to go to the Pit. Today, it was a foolish mistake.

 
          
The guards escort me to the Great
Hall where
Tara
waits for my excuse.

“I wasn’t feeling well this
morning,” I lie, clutching the satchel of food and trying to control the shaky
tone in my voice. “I was only going to the river for a few hours until my
stomach settled. I would have returned by
noon
to finish my share of the washing.”

Tara
’s jaw
clenches once, her eyes falling suspiciously over the blanket tucked under my
arm.

“Pregnancy is a natural
occurrence,” she growls. “And not to be used as an excuse. That earns you two
lashes.”
 

My lip trembles, but I nod, and I
take the strikes from her whip in complete submission.

I spend the rest of the morning
at the river doing my part under the watchful eyes of the guards, and I worry
over
Chad
. But
by the time the last piece of clothing is rung out and hung to dry, I’ve perfected
my new strategy.

I leave my hogan just after
midnight
with every intent of returning before
the sun rises. I strap the blanket filled will food to my back and trudge out
into the quiet darkness, watchful. I see no one, but that doesn’t mean the guards
aren’t close by. Quickly, I make my way to the overgrowth of bushes and slip
into the safety of their shadows.

           
Tonight,
I cross the river for the first time in my life. Scaling the jutting rock path
is a challenge, and I slip into the cold water more than once. It is a daunting
task, and one I never imagined I’d find myself completing.

The struggle to keep my footing
causes me to be very mindful of the growing baby inside me. I’m fully aware
that the crossing will become more difficult with each passing day. But when I
step off onto the opposite embankment, a sense of accomplishment consumes me.
And by the time I collapse into
Chad
’s
arms, I’ve forgotten altogether how difficult a trek it was.

           
Safely
inside his cave, we sit together on a thermal blanket I managed to wrangle from
Rhoda with the story that I was chilled at night lately.
Chad
tears a piece of meat from a wild turkey leg and talks while he chews.

“I explored a little this
morning. Up the bank. Not too far.” He reaches into his pocket. “I found this.”

           
He holds
up a rock, perfectly rounded and dark brown. I take it. It’s cool and smooth in
my palm.

           
“It reminds
me of the color of your hair.” He finishes off the rest of the meat from the
bone and wipes his hands on his thighs.

           
I run my
thumb over the top of the rock and smile before I regard him closely.

           
“You need
to careful,
Chad
.
Someone could see you.”

           
“I am,”
he nods. He takes the rock, squeezes it in his palm. “I wish you could stay,
Mia. I don’t like being out here alone. It’s… different than being alone in my
cave. The noises… they… they’re just different.”

           
He dips
his head, his lips twitching upward slightly in an attempt to smile. I feel an
opportunity in his words. Hesitantly, I take his hand.

           
“Do you…
want to go back?”

           
I detect
a tiny clenching of his jaw.

“What will happen to me if I do?”

           
“Nothing.”
I pull up onto my knees, determined now. “There is a shortage of stock. This is
why Ash was paired with you. I don’t think they will hurt you. They need you.”

           
He
narrows his eyes. “Why is there a shortage?”

           
I shrug.
“The Moirai have not blessed us with enough boys lately.”

           
“Why?”

           
“I don’t
know why,” I shrug. “Perhaps… they aren’t pleased with us.”

           
I cringe
as I say this because this possibility touches me closely. I harbor a runaway,
and I very well could be partially to blame for the Moirai’s disapproval.
There’s been plenty of rebelling around here lately between us all.
 

           
“What
pleases them?”
Chad
asks. I eye him, pursing my lips.

           
“Your
returning to the Pit would please them very much.”

           
“Would it
please you?”

           
I pause,
his words causing a small jolt in my conscience. I should tell him “yes.” I
should take him by the hand and drag him back across the river and to the
safety of his cave. Then I could go to the Council and tell them Ash was
mistaken, and he’d been there all along.

If I say “yes,” he might return
with me, and isn’t this what I want?

           
Isn’t it?

           
He waits,
a sort of unsteady caution wavering in his expression, and a new pang pricks my
emotions. I crease my brows.

           
“No.” I
hear myself saying. The single word catches on my breath in a croaked whisper.
“No, I would not be pleased.”

           
His shoulders
relax.

           
“And so,
what do we do next?” I ask.

           
We stare
at each other, completely at a loss. He smiles, but it fades quickly. After a
moment, he places a hand on my stomach.

           
“The baby
grows.”

           
I nod,
placing my hand over his. He lifts his eyes.

           
“You
won’t be able to come out here soon.” His gaze drifts to the entrance of the
cave and beyond to the water’s edge. “And I haven’t had much luck catching
fish.”

           
I laugh
at his matter-of-fact statement, but my eyes flood with tears, and I place my
palm against his cheek. He looks at me.

           
“I’m
sorry,” I whisper. “I’m sorry I lured you out of that cave.” I shake my head in
desperation, wanting him to understand. “It wasn’t like me at all. I—I don’t do
such things, and if I hadn’t done that, you never would have known of freedom.
You would be safe inside the Pit right now.”

           
He’s
quiet for the longest time, seemingly absorbing this, and my fears layer over
inside me. The minutes scurry by; I must get back to the Village. I tug on his
hand.

           
“Say
something.”
           
“I’m thinking.”

           
“Of
what?”

           
“Of how
to explain so you will understand.”

           
I tilt my
head, perplexed. After a moment, he reaches up and habitually tucks a strand of
my hair behind my ear, and his breath eases out.

           
“You
freed me long before you ever took me to the river.”

           
His eyes
drill into me, intense. My heartbeat thumps steady, and the fear relaxes out of
me. He makes me feel courage in the midst of our dilemma. I nudge into him,
press my lips to his until they part and take me in. His arms tighten around my
waist, pulling me close. And the strong feel of him against me reminds me of
how much I don’t want him to be in the Pit. I want no other breeder to touch
him ever again.

           
In that
instant, I think of what Kate did for Ian. Like her—like Meg—I don’t care to
start a rebellion, but I do want to protect this one life. I quite suddenly
understand what that means. Sacrifice, hardship… punishment… and I must learn
to be brave. I ease back and peer up into
Chad
’s
eyes, run a hand through his ragged hair. Perhaps love is worth it.

           
“We will
find a way,” I whisper. “We will.”

           
The
promise feels empty, but I say it anyway. Because I want it to be true.

Tara
makes
good on her promise to keep an eye on me. The next night, I find a guard
stationed outside my hogan. She gives me a suspicious lift of her brow when I
step outside, and I make the excuse of having to relieve myself. She follows
me. Back inside my hogan, I pace, my worry over
Chad
growing. But it’s no use; the guard doesn’t even have the decency to fall
asleep.

After three days, I become
desperate enough to ask for Blaer’s help. She agrees, but I can tell with one
look that I will owe her for it, and I know what she wants. I watch her
disappear with a pouch full of food and my heart groans. I hate that I can’t go,
but I won’t risk it.

I play my part, and soon,
Tara
’s
suspicions seem to ease a bit as she sees me about the Village attending to my
chores. In reality, I have no ill motives—only a dangerous weakness for a
man—which is odd in and of itself. Because it does not feel wrong, and I have
to concede to it.

*

A week after my trek across the
river, the Council calls a meeting of all the breeders. A rustle of voices
echoes through the big room of the Great Hall, and I pause on the threshold
allowing my eyes to adjust to the sudden change in lighting. Women in various
stages of pregnancy, some not yet pregnant at all, fill the room. A meeting of
this kind—breeders only—has never occurred in the Village before to my
knowledge, and apprehension causes a sheen of sweat to break out across my
upper lip. I rub sweaty palms together and take a few steps, slumping down on
the edge of the crowd. The Council sits at a long table on the back end of the
platform. Leah catches my eye, smiles briefly, and quickly looks away.
Tara
stands, positions herself center stage. The slight whispering of the women
grows still.