The Secret Holocaust Diaries: The Untold Story of Nonna Bannister (29 page)

“EVEN AFTER THE GERMANS HAD LOST” •
On April 20, 1945, German guards evacuated, in a “death march,” some fifteen thousand prisoners from Flossenbürg. When the Americans liberated the prisoners at Flossenbürg, on April 23, 1945, they found only two thousand prisoners alive in the camp. [http://history1900s.about.com/library/holocaust/blflossenburg.htm, accessed July 10, 2008.]

New Life

40: The Final Arrangements

Every survivor of this ordeal was anxious to get out of Germany and was making plans to get out as soon as possible. I left the hospital and took a job with the IRO Center of Hanau, Germany, as a secretary, and I worked for a woman by the name of Mrs. Hawksley, from London, England, who was in charge. I told Mrs. Hawksley that I wanted to go to America, and she arranged for me to apply for a visa. I had a friend (Zoya Wagner) who was an attorney and also helped me apply for the visa.

The process took something like two years to complete, giving me time to fully recover from my illness, make plans to leave Germany, and prepare for another long journey—to America. This would be a journey filled with promise and happiness for the opportunity to start a new life in a new country. Hope is a wonderful thing when one has been through the Holocaust and the horrors of war like I had been. This, after all, had been my father’s dream for as long as I could remember—going to America.

IRO CENTER •
Begun in 1946, the International Refugee Organization had an office in Hanau, Germany. Following the IRO’s closing, a new relief organization was founded: the Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees, which is in operation to this day.

Before the visa was approved, I had to go through a lot of processing. I was required to appear before a lot of American and British authorities and to go through a lot of background checks. It was necessary for me to obtain and furnish verification about my mother and my family prior to being approved for a visa. At this time, the Germans had started a program to award money to the victims who had survived those terrible times, or to their families. My friend and attorney, Zoya, helped me organize all the documents, pictures, and proof of events that would make me eligible for some money from this fund (this was the first fund to be set up after the war for victims of the concentration and labor camps). There was much to be done, and the nuns had written me many letters stating that my mother had, indeed, been taken by the Gestapo and put into the KZ camps, from which she never returned.

There was someone else from that hospital who had been taken by the Gestapo and never returned: a Catholic priest. The only reason I could imagine was that he had helped some Jews, or whoever had been targeted by the Gestapo, by hiding them in the monasteries or in the hospital, much like the nuns had hidden me by moving me into their living quarters—even giving me a German name (Lena Schulz) to hide my identity. I was told to keep it a secret that they would tell whoever was curious about me and wanted to know why I was there that I was an orphan and that my home and family had been destroyed by the bombing during the war.

After getting all my papers together, I applied for the award money from the fund. I traveled to Wiesbaden, which is where the new German government was set up, headed by a chancellor. (I think it was Kohl.)

GERMAN CHANCELLOR •
Nonna might have confused the chancellor’s name with that of the current chancellor during the time of her writing. Helmut Kohl was chancellor between 1982 and 1998; the chancellor she refers to here must have been Konrad Adenauer, the new German government’s first, who served from 1949 to 1963.

I had an appointment to appear before a panel of seven German men, who wore new uniforms and looked to be middle-aged. I was seated in front of a long conference table, and somehow I had a feeling that I was being interrogated again. It may have been my imagination, but I must say that I did not trust them. Their eyes were staring at me, and I did not feel comfortable.

After looking over my claims and documents, they asked me why I wanted to go to America. They asked me if I would accept an offer to stay in Germany, and they wanted to know if I would trade my visa for fund money. I told them that I just wanted to get whatever money was owed to me and that I would keep my visa to America. They offered me German citizenship and a scholarship to medical school if I would stay. I could see that they were trying everything possible to detain me and keep me in Germany. (I realized, years later, that they simply did not want me to go anywhere because I had in my possession proof that the Nazis had killed millions of innocent people and that the concentration camps had indeed existed.)

“DID NOT WANT ME TO GO” •
Another interpretation of the Germans’ reluctance to let Nonna leave is that they needed medical personnel, and having been trained in their system, she was valuable to them.

It was then I realized that those very people sitting across the long table from me in Wiesbaden were trying to protect themselves. These were probably ex-Nazis who did not care for us and were trying to make a new Germany. After they failed to talk me out of leaving Germany, they told me I could only get the fund money if I remained in Germany and accepted their offers. Again I told them that they could never talk me out of leaving Germany and that I would never give up my visa (and perhaps any of my papers and letters). I was one of the few left that had such papers and proof of the horrors they had created. They finally pulled out a piece of paper, which they made me sign, and gave me $1200. They told me that this was restitution and that the money was to pay for the trip and my troubles in appearing before them. They also told me that by accepting the $1200 in German money, I would release my claim for further attempts to collect for my mother.

By this time, I was somewhat angry, and all that I could think of was to get out of that place. I only had ten days left on my visa when I appeared before these men, and I had to get to Bremerhaven to catch the ship that would take me to America, where I planned to make a new life for myself. There was no money or anything that Germany could give me to not go to the country that my father had dreamed about for so many years to make his home.

R
EMEMBERING (EVEN NOW)

I am acutely aware of
all of it
!

I can hear the voices of those that I loved.

I can see the faces of those who are long gone.

I can travel through many places I have once traveled and see things as I saw them many years ago.

When I am alone, I see fragments of my past played before me!

I have always known that, being the only survivor of my entire family, I had done the right thing by leaving Europe—and that it would have made my father very happy. All the members of my family who had been so brutally murdered by Hitler, Stalin, and other such monsters would also be happy. This piece of history that I was a part of I do not want to forget, nor let anyone else forget. I will do my best, before I cease to exist, to tell all of those who do not want such horrible things to ever happen again. The truth shall live forever.

“THE TRUTH SHALL LIVE FOREVER” •
Nonna climbed aboard the USNS
General W. G. Haan
before it sailed from Bremerhaven on May 20, 1950. She faced a severe storm during the long voyage. The bad weather delayed her travel, but she arrived at the Port of Embarkation in New Orleans, Louisiana, on June 6, 1950, and Nonna set foot on American soil. Her father’s dream, for so many years, finally came true for Nonna.

OCTOBER 1989: AMERICANS

We are Americans,

You and I.

The land we are sharing

With its clear and friendly sky

Is a gift from God

For you and I.

Though times have been changing,

Nothing’s the same.

The freedom is here

And shall always remain.

The clouds appear

But move on in the sky.

We are Americans,

You and I.

Afterword: Did It Really Happen?

by Nonna Bannister

Was it all as bad as what we learned from the ones who were there? Why is it so important for us—all of us—to know and remember what happened in the past? Perhaps our children and grandchildren will study the history of these things. All that is important enough to be put into the history books should be respected as the truth.

Just as we read and believe in the Great God Himself and Christ, who we believe was crucified for the cause of salvation of all who were created by God, we must not forget what happened to those who were tortured, tormented, and murdered by the hands of evil men. They (the victims) did not commit any crimes except that they were born and were just there in those troubled times. As the philosopher Santayana forewarned, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it!”

However, I believe forgiveness is important. It is to forgive, as God teaches us, but never forget—rather, to apply the truth to our lives in such a way that we do not repeat our sins over and over again. If we learn our lessons from the Word of God, who was the Creator of all, and if we believe in His Word as God’s Word, we shall also be aware of all that happens while we are in His world.

Since we cannot turn back, but live our lives now and tomorrow and after, we need to be aware of evil things, which may always be with us until death. Death comes quickly, and we all will die sooner or later. But it is the life after death that fills us with great hope, and we should never be afraid of dying. However, if we learn how to survive even when we are faced with death, we become stronger and can live until God is ready to take us into eternity.