The Sheik's Reluctant Lover (19 page)

She’d known better!  She’d told herself over and over that he wasn’t the man for her.  That he wasn’t the man for any woman who wanted a monogamous relationship.  He didn’t have it in him, she thought.

Why had she even started dreaming about a future with him?  That just made everything hurt even more.  She’d believed him when he said those sweet, delicious words.  She’d stupidly translated those into words of love and commitment. 

Well, now she knew better.  It was a hard lesson to learn but at least she’d figured it out. 

She drove down the highway, surprised at how
many people were traveling on I
nterstate 66 at this time of the night.  She glanced at the clock on her dashboard and was surprised to find that it was only seven-thirty in the evening.  Somehow, with everything that had happened, she thought it was later.  So much had happened in the last thirty minutes.  She’d only arrived at
Rais
’ farm at seven o’clock after getting off of work at five o’clock.  On the drive out, traffic had been heavy but she hadn’t cared, too excited at the prospect of seeing
Rais
, maybe having dinner with him and…yes, she had wanted to spend the night with him.  She hadn’t even cared that her father would have known about it. 
She wasn’t sure she could stand the questions if he found out about this huge mess. 

The tears were so heavy with that thought, she could barely see so she pulled off of the highway, not wanting to hurt anyone because she couldn’t drive properly.  She pulled into a coffee shop and parked, taking deep breaths to try and calm
herself
down.  She just needed a cup of tea, she told herself. 

She looked in her rearview mirror, dabbed some powder onto her red cheeks, added a touch of lipstick,
then
felt at least presentable. 

Inside, she ordered her tea and ignored the odd looks from the woman behind the counter.  She took her cardboard cup and found an empty chair in the corner, wanting to just curl up and hide.  But she’d been doing that for years.  Ever since she was eighteen years old and knew that her feelings for
Rais
were deeper than just friendship, she’d hidden from him.  Deep down, she guessed she knew this kind of thing might happen.  Sure enough, as soon as
Rais
discovered her, he came after her with all of that charm and confidence, that maleness that just lured women towards him. 

The tea was too hot to drink but it felt warm in her hands and helped the numbness that was slowly taking over.  She supposed that was the body’s way of avoiding the crippling pain.  If she couldn’t feel anything, she wouldn’t hurt so badly. 

The tears were falling, but since she wasn’t driving, she wasn’t trying to focus so she wasn’t aware of the tears.  They fell on her hand and her cup, onto her sweater and melted into the fabric to disappear.  Every time she thought of
Rais
, her mind jumped back to him in that other woman’s arms.  When he’d pulled back from her kiss, there had been her red lipstick on his mouth and he’d looked horrible.  She wanted to hate him, but it hurt too much to think about him right now.  Just sip the tea, she told herself.  Don’t think about
Rais
, or the other woman.  Don’t think about the
future or the past, or anything.  Just take each moment separately. 

With a sob, she realized that she couldn’t even lose herself in work right now because her only client was
Rais
.  He’d hijacked her career and, until now, she hadn’t cared because it had been nice to just be around him.  She’d been happy organizing his parties and acting as his hostess.  She’d been proud of the work he was accomplishing during those events and had been excited that they’d gone off so well. 

She couldn’t go back to work, she thought sadly.  She didn’t have anything to do
now.  For the past several weeks, her whole life had revolved around
Rais
.  She’d have to quit her job, find another one within the industry because Derrick would be furious that she wouldn’t work with
Rais
any longer.  He’d even be angry that she’d become personally involved with a client, which was a big no-no in the industry and for Derrick’s employees especially. 
  He’d told her what would happen so nothing was a surprise. 

She’d broken so many rules, she couldn’t even count them, she realized.  She’d just been happily going about her life, pretending that things would all work out in the end.  And they hadn’t. 

She picked up her tea and carried it back to her car. 
She started to unlock the door so she could drive to her apartment, but she hesitated.  Did she really want to go back to her apartment?  Sleep in the bed where she and
Rais
had made love?  Could she do it? 

No, she thought with a pain that shot through her body.  She didn’t want to see her apartment just yet.  She couldn’t do it.  She pulled open the door and considered her options.  It was a Friday night, where could she go? 

She drove down the street a ways and found a hotel.  She parked in the lot, picked up her lukewarm tea and walked into the lobby.  She wasn’t even sure
about
the name, just walked up to the desk clerk and
asked
for a room.

The man behind the counter must have seen something on her face because he didn’t ask any questions, just quickly clicked on his computer and brought up a room.  Within moments, her credit card had been charged and a plastic key card handed to her.

“Do you need help with your luggage?” he asked gently.

Rachel only
shook her head
and bit her lip so she wouldn’t start crying again.  “Thank you,” she whispered.

She took the key and followed the man’s instructions, going to the elevator and the fifteenth floor. 
Inside
the room, she didn’t even turn on the lights.  She simply curled up in the overstuffed chair by the window and
let the tears flow down her cheeks once again.  This time, she didn’t even try to stop them, allowing them to just flow as they came. 

Rachel stared out at the night, watching the traffic flow on the major streets.  She wasn’t aware of the traffic slowing down, and
then
by the early hours of the morning, the traffic was almost non-existent.  She wasn’t aware of the planes taking off and landing at Reagan National Airport, and then by midnight they slowed to a halt as well.  She didn’t see any of it, her mind not even thinking.  She cried
,
she went numb and cried some more.  When the sun rose over the horizon, she blinked and cried some more. 

She ordered room service, asking for coffee to be delivered to her room.  When she couldn’t
sit on the chair anymore, she showered, but putting her clothes back on again wasn’t the most pleasant feeling.  She didn’t have an alternative though. 

With a sigh, she picked up her purse and walked out into the hallway.  She still didn’t want to go home, wanting to avoid life for a little while longer.  She was being a coward, but facing her apartment would hurt too much. 

This wasn’t what she signed up
for,
she thought as she unlocked her car and slipped into the driver’s seat.  She pulled her phone out and realized that it had run out of power.  No wonder she hadn’t heard it last night, she thought as she plugged it in and started her engine. 

As she turned it on again, she glanced at the message indicator.  She almost started crying again when she saw that there were fifteen messages from
Rais
.  She couldn’t listen to them now so she skipped through those.  When she reached the end, she found several from her father as well.  She dialed his number and waited, relieved when his voice mail picked up.  She didn’t want to talk to him right now, tired of crying and knowing that he would cause her to start up again with his gentle questions. 

“Hi D
ad, it’s me.  I just wanted you to know that I’m okay.  I’m just….well, I’m okay,” she said and pressed the end button before her voice cracked and he knew that she really wasn’t okay. 

She’d just pulled out of the parking lot when her phone rang again.  She looked down at the screen and saw that it was
Rais
calling from his office, so she pressed the ‘ignore’ button and turned left. 

She hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday, but she still wasn’t hungry.  She pulled up to a fast food restaurant and ordered another cup of coffee, then drove out again.  She supposed she needed to head back to her apartment at least for a change of clothes. 

Driving into her parking lot, she scanned the other c
ars, wondering if her d
ad or
Rais
might have come by to talk to her.  But no one was around except for the familiar cars that were normally here. 

She wasn’t sure why
Rais
would try and talk to her anyway.  He was probably relieved that she now knew the truth about their relationship.  He didn’t have to do the dirty work and tell her that he needed to move on.  Riding up in the elevator, she wondered what she would have done if he’d been honest with her up front.  If he’d told her that this would be just like his other relationships, wou
ld she have eventually fallen for
his charms? 

She wanted to think she wouldn’t have, but she might have come to him anyway. 

No, she wouldn’t.  She’d known for too long how she felt about
Rais
.  He was the man she’d run away from at eighteen.  He’d been the man she’d followed via the internet all through college, who had kept her away from her father during the summer months when she could have been working at the farm and hanging out with the horses, which is what
she
would have preferred doing. 
So no.
  If she’d known that she was one more brunette in a long line of similar looking women, she would have avoided his farm like the plague. 

Rais
snapped the phone off once again, furious that she wouldn’t answer his call.  Her father had just phoned him to let him know that she was okay and now he knew what she was feeling since she wouldn’t take his call.

There was no
way he was going to let her get away with that.  He’d fought too hard for her, waited too long.  And what they had with each other was special.

His fingers closed over the ring he’d bought two weeks ago.  He should have put that ring on her finger the first night he’d gotten her into bed.  He should have let her know exactly how he felt.  If he had it to do all over again, he would have proposed the first time he saw her that night in her father’s cottage. 

Dammit
!  She should know how he felt!  He might not have been explicit, but she should have read between the lines and known he was in love with her! 

He couldn’t lose her, he thought, panic starting to build up in his chest.  He would get her back somehow. 

His phone rang and he glanced down at the message.  His head o
f security had locked in on the GPS within her
cell phone.  She was heading back to her apartment, finally! 

He raced out of the house, calling to his pilot to get the bird going.  Within minutes, he was airborne and flying across the city.  He could land on a building about four blocks from her house.  “Make sure there’s a car outside the building waiting for me,” he commanded to one of his guards who had been ordered to stay outside of her apartment in case she returned. 

“Don’t lose her!”

Twenty minutes later, he was landing on top of the building.  He exited the helicopter, uncaring about his security guards who scampered to catch up with him.  They were in the elevator with him but all he wanted was to get to Rachel and make her understand.  His fingers once again closed around the
engagement ring
.  He would have this ring on her finger within the hour!  And she wouldn’t ever have a reason to take it off. 

The building manager had been warned that he was arriving and was waiting outside, ready to escort him into the building. 
Rais
barely acknowledged the man’s assistance, so determined to get to Rachel quickly. 

At her door, he pounded against the steel door.  “I know you’re in there, Rachel.  Let me in so we can talk.” 

Rachel heard his voice and her heart sank. 
She stared at her door, her stomach clenching and a sick feeling overwhelming her.  She didn’t answer, just stared at the door, wondering what to do. 

“Rachel, I’m not leaving here until we talk.  If you want to do it through the door, that’s fine with me but do you really want your neighbors to know all about our business?” he asked loudly.

Her hands fisted by her sides and she almost growled out her frustration.  She stomped to the door and opened it, glaring at him as he stepped inside her apartment. 

“Thank you,” he said ironically and walked past her.  “Where were you last night?” he demanded as soon as her door was closed and they were alone together. 

“None of your business.”

“It is my business,” he countered and moved closer to her.  She took a step back and he stopped, but he didn’t retreat.  “What we have together isn’t going away.”