The Sheik's Reluctant Lover (7 page)

She lowered her gaze, her eyes almost unwillingly lowering to find that his erection was more apparent. It wasn’t
obscene
at the moment, but she could easily distinguish the large indentation where it had previously been flat.  Her face paled and her eyes pulled away.  The excitement of a moment ago was gone, replaced by the panic she felt every time she thought about the intimate act.  She pulled away from the
corral
fence and shook her
head slightly.  She turned to the left
, terrified of the evidence in front of her
but too flustered to figure out where she was or where to go
.  She glanced back slightly, but only to see his face while she walked over to say something to her father. 

She must have said something that convinced
her dad
that she was okay, because he patted her shoulder and turned back to give additional instructions to the training assistant who was in the
corral
with the horse. 

She hurried down the path and turned the corner around the stable.  When she was finally out of sight, she leaned against the stable wall and took deep breaths, forcing herself to calm down.  She h
ated the way she reacted to the
idea
of sex
every time.  She was just fine with her dates up until the point that they wanted to discuss becoming intimate, but then she just shut down.

She’d never had a full blown panic attack though.
Nothing like this had ever happened and she had to concentrate to keep herself from hyperventilating. 

Perhaps it was because she’d never seen evidence like that before.  Surely it was just because she was so far away that he looked so large.  That didn’t make sense, but it certainly helped her to regain her composure. 

She walked several more feet away,
then
slipped back into the stables.  She walked by the horses who were being cleaned and even patted one on the nose, further decreasing the panic and allowing her mind to start to function a little bit more rationally. 

She felt a bit silly now that she was away from
Rais
and away from the power he had over her.  She stopped at the ladder to the loft, then smiled as she remembered climbing up into the loft and looking down at the stable workers.  She’d seen so much from up here.  From this vantage point, she could see into all the stalls,
both
stable
doors as well as the side doors and even her father’s office down the way although she couldn’t see inside of it. 

This had been her hideout, the place she’d come when she was hurt or angry, sad or happy.  She’d brought friends up here and they’d played cards when her father wouldn’t let her ride any longer.  If she hadn’t been in the rose garden doing her homework, she’d be up here.  It was a magical, secret place where she could read for hours and get a bird’s eye understanding of what went on throughout the day on the farm. 

She pushed several of the spare bales of hay around, forming a sort of couch where she could curl up and
watch
, think about what had just happened.  She was so deep in
thought,
she didn’t hear the other person climb the ladder.  She didn’t hear
Rais
as he stopped at the top of the loft and watch
ed
her for a long moment, contemplating her long hair with small pieces of straw sticking out on various sides. 

He walked over to the edge and looked down into the stables.  “So this is where you saw everything that happened over the years, eh?”

Rachel started and twisted around, surprised to find him standing right behind her.  He was so tall he had to duck down slightly or he’d hit his head on the roof of the stables, but otherwise, he looked ‘right’ up here in the straw and hay bales.

“What are you doing up here?” she asked, curling up into a ball, almost defensively.  She wrapped her arms around her legs and stared up at him, then glanced behind him to the ladder.

“Don’t go trying to run out on my again,” he said and sat down next to her on her makeshift ‘couch’.  “You’ll break your neck trying and then I’ll be really irritated with you.”

She had to laugh at his comment.  “You’ll be irritated with me for breaking my neck?”

He raised an eyebrow at her reaction. “Not a good enough threat?”

She chuckled again and shook her head. “Not really.  Irritation with you isn’t anything to be afraid of.”

He nodded as if accepting her point.  “How’s this for a threat…if you fall down and break your neck, I’ll have you exactly where I want you…on your back and at my mercy.”

She giggled at the image but agreed that that threat was better.  “Okay, I’ll stay put as long as you stay on that side of the hay.”

He instantly agreed with her terms then relaxed back against the hay.  “So how did you find this place?” he asked.

She shrugged and looked down over the workers who were milling about, taking care of
the horses or hauling in food and
water.  For the next hour, they discussed non-threatening issues like her job, his job, politics and horses.  She relaxed and sank deeper into the
hay,
feeling as if their old friendship were back and that pesky sexual tension that always seemed to be around them now had dissipated slightly.  It was still there and she caught him glancing down at her breasts more often than she wanted to admit, but
his eyes always moved back up to her eyes and he paid attention to what she was saying. 

He also laughed.  His deep, lustrous voice laughed at several of the things she commented on and it made her feel special to make him laugh. 
“You sound so relaxed right now,
”
she mentioned with a smile of contentment.

“Am I not normally relaxed?” he asked, leaning towards her with his arm behind her on the bale of hay.

She shook her head.  “No.  You’re always very serious, generally wrapped up in something very complicated.”  She reached out and touched his forehead.  “And you have a worry line right here,” she said, her finger touching the line between his dark, tough looking eyebrows.  “It
’
s very intimidating.”

“But you aren’t intimidated by me,
are you
?” he asked and took her hand in his. 

She didn’t even realize that he was making patterns on her palm.  “Yes, you’re very terrifying.”

He scoffed.  “You don’t act like you’re terrified of me, unless I’m trying to make love to you.”

She rolled her eyes and shifted on the hay bale uncomfortably. 
“
W
hich is all the time
as of today
.
”

“Do you blame me?” he joked.

She smiled and
pulled her eyes away from his, not wanting to get pulled into that sensuous heat.  She’d been there once already today, twice if she counted her dream and it was hard to pull out of that kind of intensity
.  “Well, I don’t blame myself.”

“If you’d wear somethi
ng other than a shirt that is
too small for
you,
and one that draws my eyes to that black lace bra you’re wearing, by the way, then I wouldn’t always be trying to make love to you.”

Her free hand reached up and covered the gap in her shirt and she tried to pull her hand away.  “You’re a really horrible man,” she laughed. 

He tugged her hand which caused her to land exactly where he wanted her, in his lap with her hands holding onto his shoulders.  “I’m just a man.  You can’t blame me for falling victim to your allure.”

She thought that she might be in trouble in this position, but it just felt too good for her to move.  The alarm bells were ringing, but because of the laughter they’d been sharing for the past hour or so, she was too relaxed in his company to take him seriously. 

“I think I’ve been wrong to be afraid of you,” she said with a sparkle in her eyes.  “You’re just a pussy cat, aren’t you?”

“Absolutely,” he agreed.  “I’m completely uncomplicated and non-threatening.” 

She threw back her head and laughed at his blatant lie.  “I think you’re actually a wolf in sheep’s clothing, trying to lure me into a false sense of security,” she said.

His hand slid up her waist and he raised an eyebrow.  “I think you’re correct.”

She knew she was in trouble, but it just felt too good to be in his arms.  It was the first time she hadn’t felt threatened by his nearness.  His touch was hot, but not uncomfortable. 

“I’m going to kiss you, Rachel,” he said, his voice huskier, deeper somehow. 

Her eyes dropped to his mouth.  She tried to form the words that would ask him not to do that, but they wouldn’t come out.  She shouldn’t want this, should be pushing him away, getting off of his lap and running as far away as she could from this man. 

Instead, her lips opened slightly, her tongue darted out to wet her lips in anticipation, and her eyes looked into his, her body already turning towards him. 

When his lips touched hers, she gasped at the heat, the electric shock.  She’d never felt anything like this and she s
hivered, her fingers curling up and diving into his hair while he kissed her.  She sighed slightly and kissed him back, unable to resist him when he was acting like this.  She melted in his arms, feeling her shyness slip away.  That irritation she normally felt when in a man’s arms wasn’t there either so it was a nice feeling to actually want a man to embrace her.  Why was it that the only person who stirred her interest like this was the one man who was so completely wrong for her? 

He leaned over, pulling her with him so that she was on her back
, leaning down in the soft pile of hay that covered the floor of the loft.  H
e could look down at her
with desire shining brightly in his eyes and her fingers shook slightly, but she didn’t want him to stop.  Not yet anyway
. 

His hand slowly, gently moved her hand off
of her shirt, pushing it gently
to the side then
his
own
hand
moved back to the front of her shirt.  His deft hands slowly unbuttoned
the front, his eyes watching with heat as her skin was slowly revealed to his gaze. 

Rachel was breathing heavily now, her body on fire for his touch but there was also a small warning in the back of her mind.  She ignored
it,
transfixed by the way his fingers would undo a button, then skim along the skin underneath.  The autumn air was too warm for a sweatshirt, but as the buttons were released, she realized how cool it actually was.  And then his fingers would touch her skin and she would be hot again.  With each button, the process reoccurred, the cool air, the heat, cool air, instant heat. 

When he reached the button that held the fabric over her breasts, she held her breath, almost afraid of the process but he didn’t stop.  His eyes watched in fascination as the button was released and he pushed the material away. 

She wasn’t sure what to expect when he finally saw her breasts, but the sharp intake of his breath made her feel sexy and powerful. 

Unfortunately, t
he raw surge of energy that spiked through her when his hand covered her breast was frightening.
  Gone was that heavenly desire that made her arms almost limp with the need to have him hold her.  It was replaced by that fear that she always felt when a man touched her too intimately.
She jumped with the feeling
, grabbed his wrist and held him away from her
as she
looked up at him
fearfully
.  That warning bell in her head was louder now and her eyes looked up into his. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked
, his whole body stilled when she pulled back
.

Rachel didn’t want this feeling to go away. 
Maybe if she just pushed through the fear, that wonderful feeling would come back.  Maybe she could just pretend it wasn’t there and she could continue on. 

She shook her head and pulled his hand back down against her breast.  “Nothing,” she said.  “Kiss me please,” she begged, then reached up to his head and pulled him down, her mouth kissing him and feeling relief when he took charge, increasing the pressure and that bell faded slightly. 

But when he shifted his weight, pressing her back and moving his legs between hers, the bell sounded loud and clear.  She shook her head, pulled away and
Rais
immediately stopped, lifting his head.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough.  “I have to go,” she gasped, scrambling out from underneath him.  She tripped on the bale of hay behind her, righted herself and grabbed the beam overhead to steady
herself
as she almost ran for the ladder down out of the loft.  She was holding her shirt together
as she descended, barely able to steady herself on her decent, but knowing that she had to get away. 

“Rachel!” he called out when his mind cleared enough to realize that she wasn’t just shifting but running away.  Again!  This time though, it didn’t look like she was trying to avoid him so much as just terrified.  He immediately started to think that perhaps someone had done something to her, something to scare her into hating or being afraid of sex.