Authors: Sue Brown
“You wash, I’ll dry. I know where they go.”
“You’ve been here before?”
“A couple of times.” I speak without thinking and I can’t remember if I’d said this was my first time or not.
“It’s been better than last Christmas.”
I am about to make a snide remark about mine being worse, and then I remember. I’m David now, and twelve months ago he’d just lost his mum.
“It was good of you all to give up your Christmas to help.” Isn’t that what they always say?
He nods. “I think I’ll do it again. I liked helping, and the clients were great, except that random dude with the umbrella.” Jack frowns. “I’ve got bruises where he poked me.”
I laugh out loud. “You should have been quicker with his cup of tea, then.”
Jack scowls at me. “For that, you can wash.” He throws the soapy dishcloth at me.
I throw it back, soaking his T-shirt.
His eyes widen. “Oh, it’s like that, is it?”
The next thing I know, I’m covered in soap bubbles he’s scooped from the sink. The only thing I can do is behave like the mature man. I scoop my hand through the water and splash him. It disintegrates from there, and before long the kitchen is covered in soap bubbles and water.
“What the hell is going on?” Sylvia shrieks.
We stop and turn to her, Jack with his hand in the water, ready for the next throw.
She looks at us both, and then slowly around the kitchen. “Is there any reason the kitchen now looks like a swimming pool?”
“Er….” Jack looks at me. “Got a reason?”
I shook my head. “Not a good one.”
“I suggest you mop up the mess and do the washing up before Ben gets back in here, otherwise he will hang, draw, and quarter you both.”
“Yes, Sylvia. Sorry.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Jack seems a lot less worried about the threat of Ben’s wrath than I am. He looks at me and grins when she walks out of the room. “Do you know where the mop is?”
I don’t, but with a minor bit of exploration, we find two mops and start clearing the large expanse of soaking-wet floor. It takes us nearly an hour to finish the washing up. I get the feeling we’re being left on our own as punishment for the water fight. Jack is cheerful, keeping up a steady chatter, mainly about his life back in America. It’s mindless and I listen with half an ear as I wash the dishes. He’s living the kind of life I would have had if it hadn’t all gone shit-shaped. Despite the Bible-thumpers, he seems a lot happier in America than he was in England. I’m glad at least one of us is happy.
“Have you finished?” Ben asks, poking his head around the door.
“Nearly,” Jack says with a sigh of relief.
“Great, because the next sitting will be in soon.”
Jack’s face falls. “You’re joking.”
I shake my head. “Nope. We have to do dinner in two sittings because of space.”
Jack looks at the pile of plates he’s just dried. “We have to do this all again.”
“Yep.” Ben sounds positively gleeful.
“Fuck!”
“Language!” Mary chides as she comes into the kitchen. “My turn to get the dinner ready. You boys can have a break. I have new helpers.”
Hard on her heels are Jack’s stepmother and stepsister. I can’t remember their names, but I don’t care. I’m out of that kitchen for a while. I look over to Jack. “Coming?”
“Hell, yes.” Jack virtually pushes me out of the door in his haste.
“Be back in half an hour,” Ben says. “We’ll need help serving and clearing up.”
I nod, more fatigued than I’m letting on, although I get the feeling I’ve not hidden it that well when Sylvia comes up to me.
“Do you need to go home?” she asks.
“No. I can stay.”
“Go and get some fresh air. Jack, David’s been ill, so if he tells you he’s all right, he’s lying.”
“Sylvia!” I yelp, embarrassed at her blatant betrayal and worried Jack might connect the dots.
Jack casts a worried look at me. “Are you okay, man?”
I sigh. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just tired.”
“It’s not raining, so let’s go out. We could sit in the park for a bit.”
It’s not hard to guess his intent. He’s still looking for Danny.
“If you want.” I haven’t been in the park for months, but I know I have to make my peace with it.
The weather has other ideas. As we reach the door, I see it’s chucking down rain.
“What do we do now?” Jack asks as he stares at the rain.
The park is out. I’m relieved. I don’t think I could have hidden my reaction to being in the place where we had loved. “We can hide in the office for a while.”
“You grab some Cokes and I’ll get those biscuits.” Jack heads for the tins of biscuits stacked in the corner.
The office is crowded and the chairs are as comfortable as sitting on spikes, but there’s Internet on the computer and Jack wants to show me some game or other. I spend half an hour watching him play. He’s excited and happy, and I’m just pleased to be in his company again. I almost kiss him but hold back. He doesn’t know David, and he’s still looking for Danny. I look up from the screen at one point to see him staring at me with obvious interest, and the urge to tell him the truth is hot on my tongue.
But still I hold back.
Chapter Twelve
T
HE
long day takes a lot out of me, and I’m in bed before nine. I sleep almost fifteen hours, waking up just before midday. I’m grateful Mary and Sylvia let me sleep, and even more grateful when I realize they aren’t going to force me to do anything else. After wearily managing a shower, I head for the sofa and watch TV. I swear they’re the same programs I watched four years ago.
I fall asleep watching
Stuart Little
, and wake up to the sound of a gentle knock at the front door. I frown. Nobody ever knocks at the front door. Nobody ever visits me. The only people who visit me are Mary and Sylvia, and they come in via the house door.
My visitor is Jack, smiling hesitantly on the doorstep.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hi.” I smile back, the effect ruined by the loudest yawn ever. My jaw cracks as I try to hold back the yawn.
“You look like shite,” he says.
“Thanks.” I don’t need to be told that by the hot guy.
Jack flushes. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“How did you mean it, then? Do you want to come in?” I stand back and wave vaguely at the sofa.
“Yeah. Nice place,” he says as he looks around.
“It is.” It’s a fucking palace as far as I’m concerned, but it’s not the place that’s so important. It’s the love and care from two complete strangers—angels—that I have missed for so long.
“So Mary’s what… your foster mum?”
“Kind of.” I don’t want to go into details.
Fortunately Jack seems to pick up on my mood and drops the subject. “I wondered if you want to go down to the pub.”
I blink. At twenty years old I have never been to the pub—ever. I wasn’t able to get away with it when I was still at home, and since I turned eighteen, I’ve not been in a position to go drinking. I saw the effect of alcohol on some of the other men in the shelter and avoided it. I’m about to say yes when I think of another problem.
“I can’t.” I frantically try to think of a reasonable excuse other than I’m skint, but I can’t.
“No money?”
I nod.
“No worries. My treat. You can pay next time.”
“I thought you were going home.”
“I am. When I come over, I’ll hunt you up for a return drink.”
I can’t think of another excuse, so I nod. “I ought to tell Mary.”
Jack smiles at me, and my stomach flips a little more. “Cool.”
When I knock on the door of Mary’s lounge and explain Jack’s plan, she beams at me.
“That’s sounds wonderful, dear. Just what you need after a day of lazing around.”
“Would you like to come with us?” I ask, feeling I ought to ask.
To my relief she shakes her head. “After yesterday, I need a rest with my feet up. You go and have fun.”
“Bye.” As I close the door, I hear her call my name. I open the door again. “Yes?”
She’s fumbling with her handbag. “Here, take some money.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to take that. Jack says he’ll pay.”
“Nonsense. You have to pay your own way.”
Reluctantly I take the twenty-pound note from her. “We’ve got to get my benefits sorted out.”
“After the New Year. Now go on, have some fun.”
“Thanks, Mary.” I’m all choked up again.
She waves a hand at me. “Go on, before your date gets bored and runs away.”
“It’s not a date.”
Mary purses her lips. “Oh really? So the boy you meet yesterday, who insists on working with you all day and then just happens to turn up on your doorstep asking you out to the pub, isn’t asking you out for a date?” She shook her head. “In my day, that was called a date.”
I leave before she can embarrass me even more. Back in my flat, Jack is looking at the meager collection of games.
“Sorry, Mary wanted to chat,” I say.
“No worries. I like your games. I used to play
Pro Skater 3
before I left for America. Dad made me leave everything behind when we flew out.”
I frown at him as I collect my coat. “He didn’t let you take any of your things?”
Jack shook his head. “Nothing. He just ripped me away from everything.” He’s aiming for a light tone, but I can hear the bitterness in his voice and his shoulders slump.
“I’m so sorry,” I say. Without thinking, I reach out and pull him into a hug. There’s a moment’s startled resistance and then he hugs me back.
We stay like that for a minute, and then he says, “Come on, let’s get that beer. After the day I’ve had, I could do with getting hammered.”
I let him go with reluctance. He feels good in my arms.
We head for the Victoria rather than the Angel, although that’s closer. Even with my limited knowledge of pubs, I know to avoid the Angel, which is frequently subject to raids from the police for drugs.
The Victoria is off the beaten path, and caters to the locals. I worry I’ll stand out, but it turns out Jack knows the landlord.
“Doug is a friend of my mum’s… was a friend. He told me to look him up if I was ever around again.”
As soon as we walk in, a man behind the bar smiles at us in greeting. I want to run. The noise of people laughing and talking is too much, and it’s crowded, but Jack grabs me by the arm and hauls me over to the bar.
“Evening, gentlemen. What can I get you?”
Jack beams at the barman. “Doug, good to see you again.” I notice he’s using his English accent. When the man smiles at him uncertainly, Jack says, “I’m Harry Cooper, Melanie’s son.”
“Harry? Christ, I hardly recognized you, son. You’re so tall now.” Doug pumps his hand enthusiastically, ignoring all the people waving their ten-pound notes.
“Great to see you, Doug.”
Doug ignores a man trying to attract his attention. “Your mum would be so proud if she could see you now.”
Jack grows quiet and still next to me. “Do you think so?”
He sounds like a little boy seeking approval, and I want to hug him. But that wouldn’t be a good idea.
Jack seems to shake off his melancholy and says, “Doug, this is David. He helps at the homeless shelter. David, Doug is the landlord here.”
“Pleased to meet you, David.”
I shake Doug’s meaty hand, trying not to show how freaked I am by people being so freaking
nice
to me. If I’d walked in here three months ago, the landlord would have kicked me out.
“What do you want, David?” Jack asks.
“Uh….” Fuck knows. “Whatever you’re having.”
He gives me an odd look but nods, ordering two Bud Lights. Doug says the first round is on the house. We both thank him and look around for somewhere to sit. In the far corner is a table with just room for the two of us. Before I can point it out, Jack is weaving his way to the table, cutting off a couple who’d been heading for it. He ignores their glares and waves at me.
I concentrate on not having a panic attack as I join him. The low ceiling and the sheer crush of people are making my heart pound. There is little room, and Jack suggests I sit next to him so the thwarted couple can take the other side. They nod, rather ungratefully, I think, and I press up close to Jack. The feel of his solid body grounds me. He’s much bigger than I remember, and I wonder if he plays sport back home.
“Basketball and track,” he confirms when I ask. “I didn’t have a choice. The school specializes in sports, and I had to do something. At least it wasn’t football or cricket.”
“You feel… look good,” I murmur, and even in the low light I see him blush.
I feel painfully thin and scrawny next to him. The last couple of years have taken a real toll on my body. I can’t see why Jack would be interested in someone like me.
“It’s good to be back here,” he says, stretching out his legs. “I’ve missed England so much. Marmite.
EastEnders
. Yorkshire pudding.”
“Is it hot in North Carolina?” I have no idea where North Carolina is.
“Hotter than here in the summer.”
“That must be hard with your pale skin.” Then it’s my turn to blush—I’ve just made it obvious I’ve been watching him.
“Yeah. I stand next to all the tanned jocks and look like a nerd.”
“The cheerleaders aren’t interested?” I tease.
Jack hesitates and then shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s mutual.” He looks at me uncertainly. “I’m not reading this wrong, am I? You are gay?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“Thank fuck for that,” he says forcefully.
I laugh and take a swig of my bottle. “Worried you’d read me wrong?”
He looks at me honestly. “I can’t read you like I can most boys. The guys around my school are open books. Eat, sports, fuck. That’s all they want to do. You seem different. Quieter, closed off.”
I nod again. “I guess that’s true. I’m not good at being around people.”
“Is that because of your illness?”
“Something like that.” I hope my tone suggests I don’t want to talk about it.
Luckily he takes the hint and changes the subject. To my surprise, he starts talking about his time with “Danny.” I realize, in the thirteen months since he left, Jack has not forgotten about Danny at all. I suppose I should find it odd he wants to talk about an ex-boyfriend to another man he’s interested in, but Jack is still very young, and I’m guessing still quite inexperienced. He doesn’t see anything wrong in what he’s doing.